Thirty-Seven
Law and Ender
Treeko walked over to a table wearing a suit. As in, a black-and-white suit.
"What the heck?!" Quilava cocked an eye.
"Are you applying for a job or something?" Serperior asked.
"No; remember Bob from last chapter?" he asked, opening a briefcase.
"Clearly," Zoroark snorted.
"Well, he challenged me to a court on the subject of the killing spree from yesterday," Treeko explained, smuggling a diamond sword into it.
"MR. EVERGREEN?!"
"And that would be my defender."
An Enderman in a black and purple suit was standing at the door. Treeko followed him out to court.
"…HOW DID HE NOT GET ENRADGED AND ATTACK?!" Charizard roared.
"You play Minecraft?" Quilava asked.
"No…but I like Endermen."
LAW AND ORDER WITH JUDGE(S) WITHER
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Judge Wither yelled, banging a mallet on the desk with one of his heads.
The people, a collection of Minecrafters and mobs, fell silent. Treeko Evergreen sat to Wither's left, Bob to his right.
"Okay Bob, you may begin."
Bob stood up (he was dressed in a gray suit) and walked to the podium.
"Judge Wither, I accuse Mr. Evergreen of murder of five hundred mobs," Bob started, "anger upon questioning, and stealing."
"Stealing?" Treeko echoed.
"THAT IS MY SWORD!"
"NO IT ISN'T, I HAND-RAFTED IT!"
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" Judge Wither banged the mallet again. "Mr. Evergreen, do you have proof that this is your sword?"
Treeko opened the briefcase and took out the sword. Flipping it around for the audience to see the bottom of the handle, he showed a signature engraved in the wood.
"We declare Treeko Evergreen not guilty of stealing," Judge Wither nodded his three heads. "As for murder, you may speak."
Treeko traded places with Bob and cleared his throat.
"Audience," he started, "I may have killed, but zombies and skeletons are already dead."
Bob face palmed with a clattering sound.
"Slimes and Creepers are animals, Slimes of which just split into harmless ones. Here, I have evidence."
He held a tiny slime into the air lion-king style. It squeaked adorably.
"Creepers commit suicide with they're explosions anyway, and as for Endermen, um…um…"
"We've heard quite enough," Judge Wither interrupted. "That makes you guilty of killing thirty Endermen."
"I call upon my witness!" Bob declared.
A small slime jumped up in front of Treeko, who went back to his seat.
…
"I have absolutely nothing wrong with Mr. Evergreen killing thirty Endermen," the slime announced broadly, jumping back down.
Bob lifted his arms in frustration.
"I call upon my defendant!" Treeko announced.
The Enderman-named Onyx-walked to the podium.
"Fellow mobs and Minecrafters," he said, "an Enderman is an alien. Therefore, he would have in the truest sense of the word just be killing another animal."
Judge Wither's three heads talked to each other for a minute.
"We declare Mr. Evergreen not guilty!" the middle head exclaimed.
The court-except for Bob-cheered.
*snort* that has to be the least violent thing I've ever written.
Percy: tell me about it.