Chapter 35
The Quibbler
Norway

The next morning was accompanied by a flock of owls – normally during post arrival, a couple of owls would come and drop off posts, but this morning, a whole flock of them arrived and dropped of a whole ton of letters to Harry.

Curious, Norway wandered over to the Gryffindor table, as Harry opened the biggest package, and revealed The Quibber –the headline read:

HARRY POTTER SPEAKS OUT AT LAST:

THE TRUTH ABOUT HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED

AND THE NIGHT I SAW HIM RETURN

"It's good, isn't it?" Luna, who had drifted over to the Gryffindor table with Norway, said while seating herself between Fred and Ron, "It came out yesterday, I asked Dad to send you a free copy. I expect all these," she waved a hand at the owls scrabbling around on the table in front of Harry, "Are letters from readers."

"That's what I thought," Hermione eagerly said, "Harry, d'you mind if we—?"

"Help yourself," Harry said, feeling slightly bemused.

Ron, Hermione, England, Romania and Norway – who had seated himself too - started ripping open envelopes. Norway was extremely interested in this. The letters would either be 'I believe in you now' or 'stop saying crap.'

"This one's from a bloke who thinks you're off your rocker," Ron said, glancing down his letter, "Ah well…"

"This woman recommends you try a good course of Shock Spells at St. Mungo's," Hermione, looking disappointed and ripping open a second letter.

"Hey- this one says she's been on your side from the start," Romania said.

"This one too!" Harry exclaimed, reading the letter in his own hands.

"Sorry to break the mood but this one thinks you're delusional," England said, and looked at Norway, who had just flinched, with concern, "Are you okay?"

"…Yes," Norway said, "This one was jinxed," he whispered, and showed England his hand under the table. It was green and had giant boils. But it was back to normal in seconds.

"This one's in two minds," Fred, who had joined in the letter-opening with enthusiasm, said, "Says you don't come across as a mad person, but he really doesn't want to believe You-Know-Who's back so he doesn't know what to think now… Blimey, what a waste of parchment…"

The one in Fred's hand did seem a bit long. Actually, very long. It rolled down to the floor of the hall.

"Here's another one you've convinced, Harry!" Hermione excitedly said, "'Having read your side of the story I am forced to the conclusion that the Daily Prophet has treated you very unfairly… Little though I want to think that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned, I am forced to accept that you are telling the truth…' Oh this is wonderful!"

"Another one who thinks you're barking mad," Ron said.

"This one says you've got her converted, and she now thinks you're a real hero… oh she's put in a photograph," Romania said, "…of you with a kiss mark on top. I'll ignore that one."

"This one hoped that Arthur would speak in it too," Fred said, "But is glad that you explained his side of the story too with yours…"

"You did speak of me Harry?" England asked.

"Well, told them you weren't insane like how I'm not lying," Harry said, "Thinking back, I should've invited you to the interview too."

"No thanks, don't want my face on the magazine," England said, "Ah- this one says they believe in us now…"

"What is going on here?" a falsely sweet, girlish voice spoke, making Norway cringe and crumble the letter in his hands.

Umbridge was standing behind Fred and Luna, her bulging toad's eyes scanning the mess of owls and letters on the table in front of them. Many of the students were watching them avidly.

"Why have you got all these letters, Mr. Potter?" the Toad asked slowly.

"Is that a crime now?" Fred loudly said, "Getting mail?"

"Be careful, Mr. Weasley, or I shall have to put you in detention," Umbridge said, "Well, Mr. Potter?"

Harry hesitated, before speaking.

"People have written to me because I gave an interview," Harry said, "About what happened to me last June."

"An interview?" Umbridge said, her voice shrill, "What do you mean?"

"I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them," Harry said, "Here—"

He threw the copy of The Quibbler at her. She caught it and stared down at the cover. Her face scrunched up.

"When did you do this?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

"Last Hogsmeade weekend," said Harry.

She looked up at him, shaking with rage.

"There will be no more Hogsmeade trips for you, Mr. Potter," she whispered, "How you dare… how you could…" she took a deep breath, "I have tried again and again to teach you not to tell lies. The message, apparently, has still not sunk in. Fifty points from Gryffindor and another week's worth of detentions," she turned to England, "Mr Kirkland did you have anything to do with this?"

"No," England said, "I just read the letters here with everyone. If you assumed I was a part of it just because I saw it happen too, you are wrong. And before you point it out, yes, I did see it. Stop denying it, Professor."

"Mr Kirkland de-"

"Has wee Artie done something?"

It was Scotland.

"Allistor," Umbridge said, "Yes, he is being rude and lying. Detention Mr Kirkland – same time as Mr Potter."

"I'm afraid my brother already has an appointment with me," Scotland said.

"Well it'll have to be pushed back for my detention."

"Can't," Scotland said, "And he has - a not detention – but required meetings with me every night. Can't be moved. Nope. Can't be. Now go away."

"Allistor I'll have to remind you that-"

"You have power, yeah, yeah, I don't care," Scotland said, "Shoo," he made a hand gesture.

Umbrdige stalked away with a huff and a red face, clutching The Quibbler to her chest, the eyes of many students following her.

"I didn't need your help, I can take that stupid detention," England said. Scotland snorted and left without another word out of the hall.

"Ban from Hogsmede…" Norway muttered, "Not that you can't go anyway, Harry."

"I know," Harry said, shaking with rage, "But the fact that she- arghgh."

"Another week of detentions…" Fred muttered, "Want a some of these?" Fred pulled out some of his Skiving Snackboxes.

"No thanks."

-0-0-0-

By Lunch, another decree was added to the wall of decrees.

— BY ORDER OF —

THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS

Any student found in possession of the magazine The Quibbler will be expelled.

The above is in accordance with

Educational Decree Number Twenty-seven.

Signed:

Dolores Jane Umbridge

HIGH INQUISITOR

"Well at least Harry got to Umbridge," Terry said, "Plus, I'm not interested in that magazine anyway. But now I have an urge to have not now that it is banned by Umbridge."

Anthony laughed.

Meanwhile Professor Umbridge was stalking the school, stopping students at random and demanding that they turn out their books and pockets. She was looking for the Quibbler, but the students had out-smarted her. The pages carrying Harry's interview had been bewitched to resemble extracts from textbooks if anyone but themselves read it, or else wiped magically blank until they wanted to read it again. Soon, everyone in school had had at least one read of the interview.

The teachers too had out-smarted Umbridge. Even if they were forbidden from mentioning the interview by Educational Decree Number Twenty-six, they found ways to express their feelings about it all the same.

Norway heard that Professor Sprout awarded Gryffindor twenty points when Harry passed her a watering can, and that Professor Flitwick pressed a box of squeaking sugar mice on him at the end of Charms. Professor Trelawney too had expressed her feelings to Harry. She broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister of Magic, and have twelve children.

Michael seemed to deem these unfair, but Norway just smirked at the teacher's ways of expressing their feelings. And of course, Scotland. He was the most amusing. He had already been annoying England by teaching about England and giving sarcastic remarks about England (but not as Arthur Kirkland, of course- you get it, right?). Now he was non-directly insulting Umbridge by suddenly teaching about the History of Toads.

History of Magic was one of the more free subjects, where the professor got to talk about whatever he or she wanted. As long as it had something to do with history, Scotland would be allowed to talk about.

"Why are you teaching about toads?" Umbridge had asked.

"It's a lesson of fun," Scotland said, "A resting point for the students. It is still history. And you told me to remove violent things from the syllabus, did you not? Surely toad aren't counted as aggressive."

"Its not of magic."

"I was moving on to magical toads just now.?

Umbrdige huffed and did not talk after that.

Terry and Anthony found the teacher's methods amusing too.

"History of Magic is so much more interesting now with those implied insults to Umbridge and Fudge," Anthony said, "It's even more funny that Umbridge doesn't have a clue that they are insults to her. I guess she kinds gets something is wrong because everyone was giggling in class, but I bet she still doesn't get the actual references.

"The best one was the roast about how toads were supposed to be intelligent in their own ways, but then one particular toad he knows isn't," Terry laughed.

"The confused look on Umbrdige when some of us students snickered," Anthony laughed.

"Yes, it was quite funny," Norway agreed, and they laughed again, remembering the Scotland-roasts.

-0-0-0-

Scotland! Scotland!

-PotterheadNo.04