Chapter 35 ~ Mom and Dad
~Alice POV~
4th May, 11.30am
Jasper's arms were still around me when I woke up the next morning - a fact that made me very happy. I smiled and snuggled deeper into him, and he kissed the top of my head, letting me know that he was also awake. I took a moment to listen and then to look into the future, discovering that we were alone in the house and that it would stay that way for a couple of hours.
I looked up at Jasper and smiled, "Morning."
"Mornin'." He replied, smiling back at me.
"How long have you been awake?" I asked.
"A couple hours." Jasper said.
"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked.
"You just looked so beautiful sleeping." Jasper said.
"That's so cheesy, Jazz." I told him, hitting him lightly in the chest.
"It's the truth." He said, catching my hand and bringing it to his lips in a light kiss.
"I could get used to waking up next to you." I told him as he found my other hand and kissed that one too.
"Yeah?" Jasper asked, leaning down and kissing my lips.
"Yeah." I whispered, my smile growing against his lips. "You know...we've got the whole house to ourselves..."
Jasper raised an eyebrow at me, "So?"
Oh, he was irritating sometimes! He full well knew what I meant! Instead of using words to explain, I used my mouth in another way to show him what I meant. He didn't stop me as our lips crashed together, which I took as a good sign. Pressing myself against him, I slipped my hand under his shirt, beginning to lift it off.
"You know what I'm going to say Alice." Jasper murmured against my lips. I chose to ignore him, because I knew exactly what he was going to say. "Alice..."
"We almost got married." I reasoned, "That's gotta count for something, right?"
Jasper just gave me a look. "It's not the same."
I rolled my eyes, "Why are you being so outdated about this? Times have changed Jasper! People don't wait anymore!"
"I do." Jasper told me, and I felt a hint of anger creeping into his voice. I blinked at him for a few seconds, but decided I must have imagined it.
"Well I know you do. That's my point." I said, "But I don't want you to!"
"And much as I want you to have everything you want, the answer is still no." He said. Why was he being so damn stubborn? It was infuriating!
"Why? Give me a good reason!" I demanded.
"Because I don't want to!" Jasper said.
I couldn't help the hurt creeping into my voice as I spoke - not that it would have made a difference; I knew he'd be able to feel my hurt no matter how emotionless my voice was. "You don't want to be with me?"
"You know I didn't mean it like that!" Jasper defended, "I don't want to be with you like that right now...and it's not because of anything to do with you; it's me!"
"So you do want to be with me like that?" I asked.
"You have no idea how much." Jasper told me, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to mine. "But I can't."
"Of course you can!" I said, my voice raising, "If you'd stop being so damn annoying about it!"
"Annoying?" Jasper asked, "I'm being annoying about it?"
"Yes Jasper, that's what I said." I told him.
"Jesus Alice, you're the one who won't leave it alone!" Jasper said. I sat up in bed and glared at him. He sat up beside me and gave me a slightly pleading, slightly irritated look. "Can't you just accept that I'm not going to do it until we're married?"
"Why should I have to accept it?" I asked, "I thought you wanted to make me happy? If you love me then why can't you just give me this one thing?"
That was a dirty trick, and I knew it. I actually couldn't quite believed I'd played that card. Jasper's eyes darkened and I wished I could take it back. I wished I could just rewind the last five-and-a-half seconds. I wish I could say that I didn't mean it, but my mouth wouldn't let me. It stayed firmly shut as I watched Jasper's reaction.
"You know I want you to be happy, and you know I love you." Jasper snapped, "But if you love me then why can't you stop trying to force me into this?"
He'd played the exact same card back...I guess I deserved that. The fact that I deserved it didn't make it anger me any less, though. "Force you into this? You said yourself that you want it! So now I'm forcing you to do something that you want to do? How, exactly, is that a bad thing?"
"Because I want it when I'm ready for it Alice! And that won't be until after I've seen you walk down the aisle!" Jasper told me, his voice raising to match mine.
"When you're ready?" I asked, "You've been alive for what, two-hundred-and-fifty-plus years? How much longer to you need before you're ready?"
"However long it takes before we get married!" Jasper said. I almost blurted out the stupid 'Will You Marry Me?' question again, but that hadn't ended so well last time and I managed to keep my big mouth shut.
"Why do you want to wait?" I asked, "Why do you insist that you keep up these old-fashioned values? Can't you just stop being a gentleman for once?"
"No, I can't, okay Alice?" Jasper snapped, "I can't and more importantly, I don't want to! I've made my views very clear on the subject, and I thought you'd have the decency to respect what I think and what I want."
"Like you do to me?" I snapped back.
"I have done nothing but respect you!" Jasper said, "I don't see how not agreeing to have sex with a girl is disrespectful! You sound like you've got it backwards!"
"You don't understand!" I yelled, getting out of bed and stalking away from him. He stood up too and caught my arm, pulling me back.
"No, I don't understand." He said. His voice was loud, but not as loud as mine had been. "I don't understand why you're so set on us having sex, when you know that I want to wait! I don't understand why it's such of a big issue to you!"
"And I don't understand why it's such of a big issue to you!" I retorted.
"I've explained myself time and time again Alice!" Jasper said.
"You haven't given me one decent explanation to why we shouldn't!" I said, "And 'Because I don't want to' isn't a valid reason."
"It should be a valid reason!" Jasper snapped, "Doesn't it matter at all to you that I don't want to do this?"
I stopped short. How was I supposed to answer that? Yes, it was important to me what Jasper wanted - but this was just silly! He had no reason to not want it! He'd already admitted that he wanted to have sex with me, so why did he have any reason to want to wait until marriage? Furthermore, didn't it matter at all to him what I wanted?
"Jasper, of course I care about what you want! It's just-" I began.
"Just that what you want is more important?" He interrupted.
"No! Jasper-" I tried again.
"Forget it!" He said, "I'm not going to have this argument again!"
"Where are you going?" I asked as he turned and stalked towards the balcony. He ignored my question and opened the doors. "Jasper come back!" He jumped from the balcony down onto the lawn. I raced to follow him, but there was no trace of him by the time I got to the balcony. "Come back! Jasper!" I looked around for him, "Please?"
There was no sign of him anywhere. I turned back to my bedroom and felt waterless tears filling my eyes as I realised how empty it looked without Jasper.
4th May, 1.35pm
I hadn't left my room when, nearly two hours later, Esme and Carlisle came home. I heard Carlisle say that he was going to hunt, and would Esme like to join him? Esme turned down the offer and said goodbye to her husband. As soon as Carlisle was a good distance from the house, Esme was in my bedroom.
"Alice, honey, what's wrong?" She asked. Esme had this way of knowing if one of us 'kids' was feeling down, even if she wasn't in the same room as us. Call it maternal instinct, I guess. I just shrugged and Esme came to sit beside me on my bed. "You can tell me, Alice."
"It's nothing." I said, even though it was everything. Jasper had walked out on me and he still hadn't come back. Where was he? Did he regret any of what he said? I certainly regretting some of the stuff I'd said...and yet, at the same time; I was glad I'd said it. Some of what I'd said had been...harsh, if that's the right word...but the point I'd been trying to make was nothing but the truth!
"Where's Jasper? Did he upset you?" Esme asked. Maternal instinct was annoying. "Did he...do something to you?"
I couldn't stop a laugh escaping my lips at that. I wish! "No Esme...it's kind of the opposite really."
Esme's brow furrowed in confusion. "I'm not sure I follow you, Alice."
I sighed and prepared myself for what could only be an awkward conversation with your mother-figure. "He wants to wait until marriage before we...you know, but I don't want to, and we had this big fight and he left and I don't know what to do."
Esme let the information sink in for a couple of seconds. It clearly wasn't what she'd expected. Alice 1, Maternal instinct 0. "Have you talked to him about it?"
"Extensively." I said, rolling my eyes.
"And what does he say?" Esme asked.
"Just that he doesn't want it until we're married because of the way he was brought up and stuff." I said.
"And what do you say when he says that?" Esme asked.
"I told him that he was being silly and to stop living in the past." I said. I bit my lip before admitting the next bit, "And then I said if he really loved me then he would do it."
Esme frowned, "Alice, that's-"
"I know." I interrupted, "I wish I hadn't of said it."
"Did you tell him you didn't mean it?" Esme asked.
"I wanted to.." I said, "But then he threw it right back in my face and said that if I loved him then I wouldn't ask him to do it."
"Do you think he maybe has a point?" Esme asked. I stared at her. "I mean, not saying that you don't love him or anything! Just maybe you didn't quite realise what you were doing. If this is something he isn't comfortable with then you, as his girlfriend, should be considerate of his feelings and not ask him to do something he isn't happy with."
I considered. "I know you've got a point Esme...but shouldn't he be considerate of the way I feel too?"
"I'm sure he is Alice!" Esme said, "And with his gift, how could he not be? But what you're asking of him is bigger than what he is asking of you."
"How?" I asked.
"You are asking him to give himself to you completely through sex." Esme said, "He is simply asking you to wait!"
It was getting harder and harder to argue with her, because she was making more and more sense. Still, I didn't want to give in. I desperately wanted Jasper - was it really too much to ask? Esme obviously saw that I wasn't convinced.
"Look at it this way, Alice." Esme said, "Say you had a boyfriend who you've been going out with for a couple of months. He wants to have sex, but you don't think you're ready. You told him how you felt, and he just told you that you were being silly, and proceeded to keep bugging you about it over and over again. No matter how much you told him you weren't ready, he kept pressuring you into doing it and even used emotional blackmail, saying that if you loved him then you would give him what he wanted. Now, what would you think of this boyfriend?"
A small gasp escaped my lips. "I'd think he was a total selfish jerk...Oh Esme, what am I going to do? I've been such a terrible girlfriend!"
I let out a sob and Esme put her arms around me. "You weren't a terrible girlfriend, Alice. You just didn't realise what you were doing - and I did make it sound worse than it actually is! Besides, it sounds like Jasper said some things that he should apologize for too!"
I sniffed. "What should I do?"
"I think you need to talk to Jasper; apologize, maybe." Esme suggested, "Try not to get into an argument about it, but maybe you could work out a compromise?"
"A compromise?" I asked, "Like what?"
"Well...there are, um..." Esme paused, choosing her words. "Other things you could do if Jasper isn't ready for actual sex."
I blushed. This was getting awkwarder and awkwarder... "I don't know if he'd agree to that."
"You don't know until you ask." Esme reasoned. Well, that conversation couldn't be any more awkward than this one, at least. Oh God, it had better not be any more awkward than this one!
"Thanks Esme." I said, smiling at her, "You're a great mom, you know that? The best!"
Esme beamed at me, joy practically bursting from her. "Thank you Alice."
"I'm going to go find Jasper." I said, standing up.
"Good luck, honey." Esme called after me as I disappeared. Now, where was that boyfriend of mine? I had some apologizing to do...
~Jasper POV~
4th May, 1.40pm (Meanwhile...)
I watched the cars as they drove past on the main road out of Forks. It had been almost two hours since I walked out of Alice's house and I knew I should go back, but I just couldn't bring myself to. She didn't understand, and it felt all wrong! We understood each other perfectly - about everything. Except this. This had managed to drive a wedge between us, somehow.
Frustrated, I ran back into the forest - unsure of where I was going. I wanted to go back to Alice, but I didn't want to pick up our argument again. I wished it had never happened. Of course, I was partly guilty - it takes two to argue, right? - but I couldn't help the childish thought out of my head that Alice had started it. She'd started it...again, and I'd ended it by walking out. That didn't make me totally innocent, but it must have counted for something.
I stopped running when I sensed another vampire in the area. I turned around to find Carlisle watching me. "Hello Jasper, I thought you were at home with Alice?"
"I was..." I said.
"Has something happened?" Carlisle asked, frowning. My emotions were probably leaking out without me realising. If they were, then he would be feeling sadness, regret, a little bit of anger, and uncertainty. From what I was reading from his own emotions, I could tell that he was being affected by my feelings. Great.
"Kind of." I said. No point in lying, right? I'd done enough of that to this family.
"Want to talk about it?" Carlisle asked. About the fact I had an argument with your daughter over whether or not to have sex? Yep, sure - I'd love to talk about it!
"Not really, if you don't mind." I said. Carlisle watched me for a moment.
"You can talk to me, Jasper." He said, "Anything that's bothering you - I'm sure I can help."
"I don't think you can help with this." I said.
"Try me." Carlisle prompted. I sighed.
"I can't." I said.
"Why not?" Carlisle asked.
"Because it's about Alice." I admitted.
"I consider myself to be an expert in that area." Carlisle joked, "I'm sure I can help you with whatever's happened."
"No, Carlisle, you really can't." I argued.
"How will you know until you tell me?" He asked. He really wouldn't leave it alone, and I could feel the annoyance growing in both of us.
"Please leave it, Carlisle." I asked as politely as I could.
"Jasper, I want you to tell me." Carlisle said, "If something's happened between you and Alice, then I want to know; I don't want to see either of you upset."
I only saw one way to get him to stop pestering me about it. "Alice wants to have sex and I don't."
Carlisle stared at me for a moment, and I felt shock pass through him - followed closely by confusion, anger, and protectiveness. Only to be expected, I supposed. I mentally prepared myself for what was about to come next because, although I had no idea what it might be, I knew it was going to be bad.
~Carlisle POV~
4th May, 1.55pm
"Okay..." I said with uncertainty. I couldn't quite believe what Jasper had just said. I didn't know how to respond!
On the one hand; Alice was practically my daughter, and the thought of anyone being with her like that made me want to snap their neck...or throw up. On the other hand; She was over one hundred years old and was by far old enough to make her own decisions in life. And the fact that Jasper had said he didn't want it...that made it easier. That meant that they hadn't actually done anything yet...which was a small mercy, I guess.
"Still want to help?" Jasper asked, a hint of smugness coming into his voice as if to say 'I told you so'.
Did I want to help in the matter of my daughter's sex life? Certainly not. But I did want to see them both happy, and to help sort out this argument. Besides, I was a doctor; I could be professional about this. If I just forgot the fact that I knew Alice, it would be just like the therapy sessions I had to give sometimes at the hospital.
"Well, Jasper, this is my daughter we're talking about..." I said, "But I think I can still help you."
The smug look dropped from Jasper's face and he looked at me in slight horror. I knew as well as he did that this was going to be an incredibly awkward conversation. "First, why don't you tell me what the problem is."
Jasper took a deep breath and started telling me - talking quickly as if that would make it less awkward. "Alice want to have sex, but I told her I want to wait until we're married - which is why we almost got married in Vegas - and she doesn't respect that and keeps pushing it...and we had an argument about it earlier and I walked out, and now I don't know what to do."
"Why do you want to wait?" I asked.
"Because that's what I was brought up to believe was right." Jasper said said, "I want to treat Alice how she should be treated; like the beautiful woman that she is. Someone like her should be treated with the utmost respect. I just want what's best for her."
"But if she wants it," I couldn't believe I was saying these words. Kill. Me. Now. "Then wouldn't you be respecting her by giving her what she wants?"
"That's what she told me." Jasper said, "But that's not the only reason."
"What else?" I asked.
"I can't just abandon what I've believed in for the last two hundred and fifty years!" Jasper said, "I'm not happy with having sex before marriage, but Alice doesn't seem to understand that. She just acts like we should do it because she wants it - no matter what I want."
"Have you told her all this?" I asked. Jasper nodded.
"I've tried to explain it every way I can think of." He said, "But she just keeps asking 'why' and for me to give her a 'decent reason'. It's like half the time she doesn't even listen to what I'm telling her."
I nodded. "It's very easy for Alice to get caught up in her own world. Sometimes, when she's dead set on something, she doesn't see the bigger picture; only the outcome. She probably can't see how it's affecting you, because she's so focussed on...uh, getting what she wants. It's annoying, but try not to get too angry at her over it."
"I'm not angry at her." Jasper said with a small laugh, "I could never be angry at Alice."
"What's the problem, then?" I asked.
"I just don't know what to do now." Jasper said, "I want to go back and talk to her, but I don't want to argue again. I want to give her everything she asks for, but I don't want to give her this. I want her to be happy, but I don't know how without making myself unhappy. Normally, I'd do anything for her; no matter how much pain it caused me. But this...I just don't understand why it's so important to her!"
"Maybe you can find a way to make you both happy." I said, "A compromise."
"How exactly would we do that?" Jasper asked. Oh God, was I actually going to say it? Was I seriously suggesting this about my own daughter?
"There are...other ways of giving her what she wants without actual sex." I said. There. I said it. It felt so wrong. I couldn't believe I was talking about Alice this way! Jasper's eyes widened and he stared at me.
"W-what?" He asked; clearly he hadn't expected me to say that.
"It's a compromise; you don't have to have sex before you're married, but there are things that you can do as a substitute." I said. Wrong, wrong, wrong. If I'd thought this conversation was awkward earlier, I'd been over exaggerating. "Look, just try and see things from her perspective; she keeps asking you and you keep turning her down - from her point of view, you don't want her like she wants you...you don't want her that way."
"I do!" Jasper blurted out, then he avoided my eyes, "I mean...you know...she's beautiful, I'm crazy about her, of course I want her...I just want to wait."
"I understand that." I said, "And you shouldn't let Alice pressure you into it before you want to, but maybe you should do something to show her that you reciprocate her feelings. From her perspective, she may be feeling a bit...rejected?"
"Okay...but what if we're doing...something...and it starts turning into something more, and I can't control it?" Jasper asked, insecurity creeping into his words, "And we end up having sex even when I don't want it?"
"Jasper, you're easily twice Alice's size." I pointed out, "I'm sure you could stop her from doing something if you needed to."
Jasper seemed torn. Considering his views on sex and the treatment of women, he probably wasn't totally comfortable with the 'other things' I'd mentioned, but he seemed to accept them more than sex.
"Thank you, Carlisle." He said, "This has been...awkward, but I appreciate your help. Alice is lucky to have you as a Dad. I'm lucky that my girlfriend has you as a Dad."
I smiled, "You're welcome, Jasper. You can come to me for help any time." He was right about the awkwardness, though. I hoped next time Jasper came for help it wasn't about his and Alice's sex life.
"I should go and find her." He said. I nodded.
"I'll give you some space." I said. He nodded and smiled at me before disappearing into the forest to find Alice. I watched him go. Alice really was lucky to have him.
Heyy,
First of all I'm REALLY sorry this took so long to update...obviously I had my exams and stuff but anyone who reads the blog for this story will know that I also had really bad writers block with this story :(:( And I know I didn't do sneak peaks for this chapter but I literally just finished writing it and updated it straight away because it's been so long and I thought you'd rather have the whole chapter straight away...but I'll do sneak peaks for the next chapter! Which brings me on to my next point...I still haven't really gotten over my writers block, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will actually be...I'm gunna try and get it up as soon as possible! Any ideas/suggestions would be great...just anything you think should happen or whatever!
While you're waiting for the next chapter, you could go check out my other fanfics ;) My latest ones are...
You've Got Mail - Two continents. Two Alice's. Two forbidden loves. Alice Cullen lives in Texas and meets Jasper Whitlock whilst working at her dads hospital...but he forbids the relationship. Alice Brandon lives in England and is using all her self-control not to fall for the new bad-boy Jasper Hale. Two girls connected by more than just emails...they know it's forbidden, but fate has other plans... (AH/AU...Rated T...Co-written by Jalice2254)
Lost & Found - Alice wakes up and finds herself deep underwater. She has no idea how she got there, or when, or why. Hell, she doesn't even know who she is! A pack of werewolves, much more accepting than the ones in Forks, take her in. Years later, Alice and Jasper are reunited. Jasper, who's been searching for his wife for years, is thrilled. There's one problem; Alice doesn't know who he is. (Rated T...takes place after Breaking Dawn, I guess...)
Of course, I'd love you to go R&R any of my stories! :):):) If you want me to read any of yours, just tell me the name in a review or PM and I'll go take a look! :):)
See you soon
Please Review! - Any reviews/comments on whether you liked it or not, and anything you would like to happen in future chapters, much appreciated :) ( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review.)
ANYONE WHO REVIEWS WILL RECIEVE AN EXTENDED SNEAK PEAK OF THE NEXT CHAPTER BEFORE I UPDATE, SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!