I've never seen a person so perfect before. I've never seen a boy so beautiful, yet he's here in my arms…in the flesh. So beautiful that he could possibly be a figment of my imagination, but clearly he's not because I'm holding him and I can feel his weight on my chest, against my body while he breathes. My fingertip grazes his perfectly rosy round chubby cheeks. When he feels my finger against his cheek, his mouth cracks up into a smile that's visible through the foreign object in his mouth. His smile makes me smile and I can't really explain the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. It's warm and fuzzy; a good, pleasant feeling. He has tiny hands but long fingers that are tinted in a shade of cream that mimics my skin tone. His sleek, straight brown hair lies down perfectly but is so fluffy that it feels like corn silk and stands up on the ends. Like mine, his hairline starts on his forehead, just a few inches above his yet-to-come-in eyebrows. His eyebrows aren't full yet but the shadow of where they're going to be is quite clear. The white, red and black Mickey Mouse patterned pacifier I put in his mouth is bobbing loosely while he snoozes, peacefully against my chest.

Clearly I'm supposed to be working because my paper-thin, baby blue scrubs are rising up around my lower back through the weight of him. I don't know where I'm sitting but that's the good thing about it. I don't know where I'm sitting and if I took the time out to stop staring at the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen in my life, I'd probably be able to tell you that I'm sitting in the daycare of the hospital; but for some reason, when he's in my arms, I find it incredibly hard to care about anything else around me. It's me and him and that's all I care about. My arm is losing feeling but I wouldn't dare switch positions. I wouldn't dare move. One of my hands is on his little but, rhythmically patting while my free hand is busy playing with his perfectly silky hair. The arm that's holding him steady against my body is the one that's losing feeling and I'd rather have my arm go numb than to move it.

I roll over at the sound of my phone ringing on the stand next to my bed where it charges all night. Groggily, I snatch the phone off the charger and look at the time. It's 2:30 in the fucking morning, who the hell wakes somebody up at this hour? I don't even recognize the number. The only reason I answer it is because the caller ID says that the number is a Seattle Washington number. I really hope this isn't someone from the hospital calling to ask me if I can come into work right now. I'm not even on call, Dr. Hunt said that we're off today so whoever it is, leave me alone. I was literally having the best sleep of my entire existence. I was so sleepy and I finally fell asleep since I didn't sleep last night because I was so nervous about my appointment. Why must someone wake me up? Nevertheless, I slide my thumb across my screen and press the phone to my ear. "Hullo?" My voice is filled with sleepiness and I probably sound like a man.

"…Jo?" I don't really recognize the voice at the end of the phone. I'm sure I've heard it before because I kind of remember hearing it before but I couldn't pinpoint exactly who it belongs to. "Wilson?"

"…Yeah?" I gather myself together and sit up in my bed. "Who's this?"

"It's April…" I don't know an April…Oh shit, yeah I do. Please don't call me in. Please don't call me in. "Kepner… you know… trauma?"

"Mhm…" I yawn and rub my eyes. "What do you need, Dr. Kepner?" I ask, halfheartedly.

"I'm not Dr. Kepner right now, you can call me April." I'm still so delirious from waking up out of a dead sleep like that. I don't even say anything else, I just wait for her to tell me what time she wants me to come in and what she needs. "You and Alex are something, aren't you?"

"Alex? Yeah…" I can't speak in anything higher than a mumble right now.

"Okay, just making sure. I got your number out of his phone… I don't really know who else to call…" All of a sudden, everything is clear. It's like I wasn't even asleep and I'm not even tired anymore. What's wrong with Alex? Oh god…

"Is he alright? What happened to him?" I brace my phone against my ear using my shoulder and slide out of my bed. "Why are you calling me and not him?"

"I didn't mean to freak you out. You can calm down… he's okay." I feel relief wash over me when she says that. Then what the hell do you want? "He's just super drunk right now… I'm sitting here at Joe's with him and Jackson. Apparently the two of them thought it was cute to stay out drinking until two in the morning. The cab services are down so someone has to come scrape them up out of the bar… not like they could call cabs for themselves anyway, they're both drunk as heck. I was going to take him home myself but I don't feel comfortable dropping him off home alone. Is there any way you can come grab him?"

"…Yeah, just give me like… ten minutes, not even that. I'll be right there." I go over to my dresser to grab a pair of pants to throw on. April says "Thanks" and I hang up, tossing my phone on my bed. I can't believe him. Is he serious? He's so drunk that he can't call himself a cab and get his ass home? Is he SERIOUS? I swear I'm gonna rip him a new asshole. I can't believe him. He's so drunk that I have to get out of MY bed at two in the morning to scrape his ass up out of the bar? Really, Alex? I pull a pair of sweatpants up on my waist and grab a pair of my flip flops to throw on. I'm gonna kill him. Not to mention, I feel really bad for Dr. Kepner. She's heavily pregnant… and she obviously had to get out of her bed to go pick her husband up out of the bar. Men these days, I swear.

Yawning, I go into Steph's bedroom. "Steph…" I say in a harsh whisper. I put my hand against her back and shake her just slightly. "Steph…" I hear her mumble a swear word, groan and open up her eye. "…Can I use your car?" She nods. "Do you care if I bring Alex over?" She shakes her head. I know she probably won't remember this conversation in the morning, but I'll feel better if she knows that I'm bringing him and I'm taking her car. She won't remember but it makes me feel better that I at least mentioned it to her. I grab her car keys off the little space on her dresser where she keeps them and go into the living room. I seriously cannot believe Alex right now. He got off at TEN o'clock at night and he stayed out drinking until TWO IN THE MORNING? Is he SERIOUS? There's not enough booze in this world to drink for FOUR hours. It's a wonder he's not DEAD!

I unlock Steph's car and get into the driver's seat. I start the car and back out of the driveway, heading off into the direction of Joe's. I don't know if I'm more irritated that he's so drunk that he can't call himself a cab or that he's so drunk that I had to wake up out of my sleep. That was the most amazing sleep I've had in a really long time. The dream I was having…it felt so real. It was so vivid. I can literally feel weight on the spot on my chest I was holding him at in the dream. I'm so mad that it ended before I got a really good mental picture of him. I don't remember what he looked like but I do remember feeling so…incredible. I remember him being a boy but I don't remember anything else than that. I wish I could go back to sleep and have the same dream. I'm sure he was beautiful… if I could only remember him.

"Your daddy's a dickhead, you know that?" I mumble to myself clearly because obviously he can't hear me. He probably doesn't even know what I just said. I round the corner that'll put me onto the street of Joe's. I don't really think that I should tell Alex about this. How am I supposed to trust that he'll be a good dad if he pulls crap like this? Dads can't stay out until ungodly hours of the night to drink with his friend when the mom is at home with the baby. How the hell is this even gonna work? See, this is why I don't even want to have this baby. I don't want to have him and this is EXACTLY why. I'm not ready for him and Alex damn for sure isn't ready either. I'm already gonna be a shitty mom, Alex CAN'T be a shitty dad. Little Man's gotta have at least one of us that knows what we're doing.

Speaking of Little Man… I don't think he's happy. I have a weird taste in my mouth and my throat is starting to close up. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth to try and ease the nausea. I have to throw up…good thing I'm at the bar. I throw the gearshift in park to park the car on the street right outside of the bar and open up the door. I step out of the car, put one hand over my mouth to keep it from spewing out and the other hand over my stomach. I jog over towards a parking meter and just let it all out. I put my hands on my knees and take a couple breaths. I'm not done I don't think. Nope. I open my mouth again and more ejects out. I spit hard into the pile of my vomit and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Coughing, I walk back towards the entrance of the bar. I feel better after puking, actually. The fact that it's raining just a little bit out here is helping as well. The cool water feels good against my burning hot skin.

I yank the door handle to the front door of the bar and walk inside. There's literally nobody in here except Jackson, April and Alex. I wipe my mouth free of throw up once again and walk over to the spot on the barstools where they're sitting. "I'm so sorry for calling you and waking you up at this hour but I literally didn't know who else to call." April's still apologetic, holding Jackson up by his arm like he can't support his own weight. They both look pathetic and I feel so, so, so bad for April. Her belly's poking out, round and plump as can be and she's standing in a bar at now three in the morning. I guess I'm not that far off from my stomach being as big and round as hers is, but still. She shouldn't be here; she should be resting with her baby. I guess I should be too. I don't know.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you called me." I put my hand against Alex's shoulder and rub it. "…Come on. Let's go home…" He looks at me, eyes red rimmed and nearly shut. "Come on…" I hook my hand underneath his armpit and pull him up. "We should keep them on leashes…huh?" I kind of feel weird. I'm sitting in a bar at three in the morning with my intoxicated resident of a boyfriend, in my pajamas with bed hair in front of two other residents. Alex is forever putting me in complicated situations.

"Or put shock collars around their necks…whichever works." April winks at me and wraps her arm around Jackson's waist for more support while they walk. "I'll see you later Wilson."

"See ya." I watch them walk out the door, admiring the fact that it's so apparent that they love each other. She doesn't even seem mad that she had to get out of her bed to come get him, she just seems like she'd do it willingly because she loves him. She's pregnant and he clearly loves her; even when he's intoxicated. I want that. I stop watching them and turn back to Alex. "Come on baby…" I pull him off the barstool and hold his hand. He leans against me and sluggishly starts walking with me. "Let's go home… you need to sleep…" I put one arm around his waist and hold his hand while we walk.

"Are you mad at me?" His words are slurred but I understand him perfectly. His drunken voice kind of sounds like his crying voice. "I think you're mad at me… don't be mad at me Jo…" He laughs in my ear, his breath smells like hardcore liquor.

"I'm not mad at you…" I open up the passenger's side door and help him inside the car. "I'm here, aren't I?" I shut the door and walk around the car to get into the driver's side. I start the car again and start to drive home. I'm taking him back to me and Steph's house because I feel like I can take better care of him if he's at my house. I might be wrong but I just feel that way. He leans forward in the car and puts his head on the dashboard. "Please don't throw up… not in here, this isn't my car." I whisper to myself, glancing over at him to make sure he's okay. I clear my throat to speak up louder so he can hear me. "Are you okay, baby? Do you feel sick?" I take one hand off the steering wheel and put it on the back of his head. "Just wait until we get home…"

"Don't be mad at me Jo… I'm sorry." He murmurs.

"I'm not mad… I'm not mad." I turn up the corner to get onto me and Steph's street. He sounds like he's crying which is breaking my heart. I don't want him to cry because he thinks I'm mad at him. I'm irritated with him, sure but mad I am not. I'm irritated that he doesn't know his limits when he drinks. I'm irritated that he got so drunk that he couldn't call himself a freaking cab or anything. I'm irritated that he was so irresponsible and I'm worried that he's gonna act like this when Little Man's here. But I'm not mad at him. I'm not mad at him to the point where I'm not gonna take care of him and just leave him at the bar. He's my other baby…why would I treat him bad?

"I love you Jo…"

"Mhm." I park in the driveway and get out of the car. I walk around to his side and open up the door. It's not that I don't realize what he just said to be because I do. I know he just told me that he loves me. I don't know if I should say it back though. I mean, isn't it obvious that I have love for him? I got out of my bed at exactly 2:37 in the morning to go pick him up from the bar because he was too drunk to do anything but sit there. That's love, isn't it? Do I really have to say it? Especially if he's too intoxicated to even remember that I said it? Again, I put my arm around his waist and help him up the small flight of stairs. I open up the front door and drag him inside because he's really lagging. He needs to sleep. "Come on Alex…I can't drag you…" He's way too heavy and he's so hard to move but he won't walk on his own.

"This isn't home. I thought you were taking me home…" He's talking unnecessarily loud and Steph is still sleeping. I grab him by his arms and pull him hard. "Quit! I thought you said you were taking me home…. where the hell are we? Come on I want to go home with you…"

"Shh…" I strain my arms dragging him but I get him inside and shut and lock the door behind us. "It's okay…. we are home. We're at my house…" He's actually never been inside of my house before. That mixed with his intoxication, I get that he's confused. I grab ahold of his hand and lead him through the living room. I really wish I didn't have to go through Steph's room to get to my room. She's sleeping and he's loud and I really don't want to make her mad. "Baby, can you be quiet? Please?" I turn and look at him. His eyes are almost closed and he looks like he's been drinking for days straight. He's so drunk. I open up Steph's door and quietly tiptoe through her room. He's quiet too. We get inside my room and I shut the door behind us. I'm gonna go grab him some water… I turn on my light and force him down on my bed. "Stay right here… I'll be back…"

"NO JO! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME!" He springs up just as quickly as I made him sit down. "I said I was sorry… you can't leave…" He seems really concerned about me leaving.

"I'm not leaving… I'll be RIGHT back…" I put my arms on his shoulders and push him back down. "I promise I'm coming back…" Once I get him to calm down, I go back into Steph's room so I can go to the kitchen.

"…What is his issue?" Steph turns on her beside lamp and sits up, scrambling to put her glasses on. "He's loud as hell… oh my god…"

"He's drunk, okay? I've got this… just go back to sleep." I go over to her door. "I've got this…"

"JO! WHERE ARE YOU?!" He screams from my room.

"…You got this?" Steph raises an eyebrow at me and gets out of bed. "What do you need? You'd better go sit with him before he starts screaming again…"

"…Ice water. Big glass of ice water." I have that taste in my mouth again. Oh god… my throat is closing up and my stomach is all jumpy. "…And a glass of ginger ale. I'm gonna puke…"

"You can't take care of yourself and him, Jo." She puts on a pair of pants so she can help me out. "You're pregnant, you can't give up sleep to take care of him. He has to grow up too, you know… It's not your job to take care of him, it's your job to take care of the baby…"

I roll my eyes at her. "He's just drunk, Steph. It's not like he's high or beating my ass like Jason did. He went out with Avery and had a couple drinks. He's drunk. I've got this…" It's really apparent to me that Steph doesn't like Alex. She thinks he's a douchebag that's stringing me along for the ride. And while I understand that she doesn't like the way Alex treated me in the beginning when he was still with his ex-fiancée, she needs to drop the attitude towards him. I appreciate that she's skeptical about him because she cares about me, but I'm getting so tired of listening to her bad-mouth him and I'm getting sick of him snubbing her every chance he gets as well. They need to learn how to get along. "Forget it, Steph… just go back to sleep. I'll get my own shit. I don't know why I even brought him here…I knew you'd have a problem with it. You have a problem with everything that concerns Alex. You're always telling me that it's my house too, so why do you get—"

"Screw you, Jo." She takes her pants back off and gets back in bed. "Fine, I won't help you. I don't care. Do it all yourself. Clean up his mess while you make your own, I DON'T CARE. I'm just saying that you CAN'T do it all because you CAN'T. You can't take care of him when you're getting ready to throw up your damn self. You're pregnant, you need to take care of yourself FIRST instead of him." She takes her glasses back off. "And I've told you once, I'll say it again… I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM. I have a problem with the way he treats you sometimes. He treats you bad and you're like my sister, so of course I don't like him if he's gonna treat you like crap. It's just hard for me to get over the way he treated you in the beginning. You used to cry all night because he would treat you like shit because of his fiancée, remember that? Of course I think he's a dog…and I probably always will, but I respect him because I love you."

"Well I don't need you to worry about me. I can handle myself… I'm just nauseous." I feel kind of bad for getting snappy with her.

"You can't handle yourself while you're handling him. You're gonna throw up while he's throwing up…" She shakes her head and gets out of her bed again. "Just go sit with him. I'll bring you the ginger ale and the water… I don't want you to overdo it. You're taking care of a baby now, I don't think you get that. And I'm sorry, but I think he's terribly immature for going out and getting drunk off his ass like that. How do you know he's not gonna do that when the baby's born? He's doing it while you're pregnant…"

"It's not like he knows I'm pregnant." I hunch over and take a couple deep breaths. I don't think I'm gonna throw up. I think it's gonna pass. "He wouldn't do it if he knew he was gonna be a dad, you reject."

"…You still haven't told him?" She stops walking dead in her tracks on the way to the kitchen and looks at me. I'm still hunched over trying to power through this bout of nausea. I shake my head at her. "Jo…. come on. You have to tell him…"

"Well I can't exactly tell him right now, can I? He's drunk as fuck…" I'm doing better. Okay… I'm alright. I stand upright and turn to go back to my bedroom. "And don't you tell him either, Steph. I'll tell him when I'm ready… I swear I will. I'm just not ready yet…" I put my hand on the doorknob to my room. "…And sorry… for snapping out on you… I'm just not in a good mood right now. I'm just irritated with him and with everything that's been going on."

"…It's cool." She sighs. "I'll try harder to like him."

"Just try. That's all I'm asking…" I open up my door and walk back inside my room. He's lying down on my bed, sleeping. He looks totally uncomfortable though. He's not even lying on a pillow. He's lying in the middle of the bed and his legs are dangling over the edge. I take a deep breath and walk over to him. I start by taking off his shoes. I take off his socks as well. I'm really not mad at him. He just went out drinking with his friend… I've been drunk like this before. And I can't get mad at him for doing this because it's not like he knows he's gonna be a dad. I unbutton his jeans and pull them down. I take them off and go to his shirt. Easily, I take his shirt off of him as well so he's just in his boxers. I pull back my covers and drag him by his arms to the middle of my bed so he can lie down correctly and comfortably.

"Jo?" He mumbles, drunkenness and sleepiness hazing his voice.

"I'm right here. I told you I'd be back, didn't I?" I bend down and kiss his head. Steph opens up my door, looks around for a second and puts the drinks down on my dresser. I mouth a "thank you" to her and she nods, closing the door behind her when she leaves. I grab the drinks and put them on the stand next to my bed instead so that they're closer. I take off my pants to get ready for bed. I turn off my light and feel my way around through the darkness. I climb into bed right along with him. As soon as I lay down, he scoots over to me and puts his head on my chest. He really likes to lay on me like this. "You want some water?" I ask him, stroking his hair. I can't be mad at him… he's my baby. My other baby, I mean. He shakes his head and puts an arm around my waist. "I'm not leaving you. I told you that… I'm not gonna leave you…" He just needs to be reassured sometimes. I get that he's still a little shaken up about how she just up and left him like that. I think he's just afraid to be alone. I don't think he's really that afraid to lose me because I'm nothing. I'm just… me.

"I love you…" He mutters into my chest.

I tilt my head downwards and kiss his temple. "Shh… go to sleep baby… I'll be here when you wake up…"

Alex's Point of View.

I have the worst headache I've ever had in my life. I don't even know why I have a headache either, I just do. I don't remember shit from last night. All I remember is getting off work and going straight to the bar with Avery when we got off. I remember laughing at something he said and then it's all just one big blur. I don't remember how I got home, I don't remember falling asleep, I don't remember anything. All I know is that I have a headache and when I open my eyes, I'll probably be hungover as hell. I don't even want to wake up but my internal body clock tells me that it's time. I guess I'll go downstairs and eat a bowl of cereal or something. Then I'll take a shower and call Jo to see what she's doing. She's off today too I think. Maybe we can go do something together. Maybe she'll wanna go grab some lunch.

I open up one of my eyeballs and everything's blurry. I go to bring my hand up to rub my eye to clear my vision but my arm is caught underneath of something. I squeeze my eyes tight and snap them open. Where the hell… I take a breath before I yawn and inhale a scent; my favorite scent in the world. It smells like Jo… I pick up my head and look around. In one corner of the room I'm in is a drawstring bag with the word "PRINCETON UNIVERSITY" written on it. I turn my head and she's laying asleep underneath of me. Why is she… I must be… I put my head back down on her chest and squeeze her tighter. What the hell happened last night? I move my head up so that my face is in the crook of her neck. She's sleeping so peacefully that I won't wake her up. As per usual, she's moaning here and there in her sleep. I wonder why she does that…

I kiss the crook of her neck and close my eyes. She moves her head a little bit and moves her arms around. I really don't know how the hell I got here last night. I don't know how I managed to be sleeping with her but I don't mind it. Whatever happened last night couldn't have been that bad if it landed me in bed with her. I open my eyes once again and look up at her. Her eyebrows are wrinkled and she looks uncomfortable. Just as I start to ease my grip around her waist up a little bit, her eyelids flutter open. I can't help but smile when I'm finally eye to eye with her. Her eyes are my most favorite things in the world. "…Morning." I kiss her cheek and her eyes widen a little bit like I just surprised her a little bit.

"…Good morning…" She yawns and moans the same kind of moan she moans when she's asleep through her yawn. She has morning breath but I love every single thing about her; including her morning breath. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm great..." Waking up next to you is enough to make me feel amazing…

"You're not hungover?"

"A little…"

"You were so drunk last night…" She knots her fingers through my hair and stares at me. "I had to come pick you up from the bar…" She's kind of smiling at me. "Dr. Kepner called me at 2:30 in the morning and told me I needed to come get you…"

"Really?" Damn. I guess what happened last night was pretty ugly then… I just don't remember. She nods her head, rubbing my scalp with all ten of her fingers. "I'm sorry…" I can't even look her in her eye. "I'm sorry… you shouldn't have had to do that. I guess me and Avery just got carried away but that shouldn't have happened… you could've just left me there. Really, you should've. You should've left me…"

"Why would I do that? I'm not just gonna leave you hanging, baby boy." She kisses me on my lips. "I was glad she called me. I'm glad you didn't try to drive yourself home or whatever. It would've been worse if she called me to let me know you were in the E.R. or something." Kisses me again. "At least I know you're safe with me…you know?"

"…So you're not breaking up with me?"

She squints her eyes and tilts her head at me. "No? Why the fuck…"

"You've been kind of weird lately… I just thought you were looking for a way to end it…"

"I've been…." She sighs. "I've been going through some shit lately. I haven't been nice to anyone so don't take it personally…." She gets really quiet all of a sudden. "…Alex? I have something to tell you…"

"You don't have to say it, Jo… I already know…" She's about to tell me she loves me. I know how bad I scared her when I said it first and she doesn't have to say it back just because I said it. I already know she loves me…she doesn't have to say it. She got up at two in the morning and came to pick me up from a bar. I was drunk as hell last night and she came and got me. I already know that she loves me. She doesn't have to say it.

"…You do?" She sits up and wrinkles her eyebrows. "How do you know?"

"You kind of show it…" I shrug. "It's no big deal… we don't have to talk about it. You don't have to say it. We can just move on… it's alright. I already know, babe. I know…"

"…But we…." She looks sincerely confused. "…Kind of have to talk about it… isn't it important? We can't just… move on…"

"I don't care about it, Jo. It doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you say it or if you don't. It doesn't make a difference to me. As long as I have you, I don't care about anything else. Yes we can just move on. It's not even a factor to me. It's irrelevant…"

"…What?" She looks like she's gonna cry. "…It can't be irrelevant. I think…" She's crying. "Why is it not a factor to you? I don't know what we're gonna do? I need your help…"

"What are you crying for? It's not a big deal to me, Jo. I know you love me… I know you do. You don't have to say it… that's not important to me. As long as I have you, I don't care if you ever tell me you love me. I can see it. You don't have to tell me you love me just because I said it to you. It's not a factor to me whether you say it or not."

"…Oh." She looks down and sighs. "…Glad we're on the same page…"

"Yeah…" I wipe her tears away. "What'd you think I was talking about, babe?"

"…I don't even know." She shrugs. "…I'm gonna go grab something for breakfast…" She wipes her own tears and gets up. "I'm hungry…"

"Me too."