"Dear Comrade, it's June 21, 2022. It's almost your wedding, and I honestly am about to fall apart. The only thing left is my plan, which I doubt will work.

"I've been mentioning seducing you to sleep with me one more time, and now I know that I'm going to do it. I don't care if I have to get you drunk before you get into me- I'll even pay you. But that's insulting to you. You are definitely not a prostitute.

"I promise that the time when I execute my plan will be the only time I'll ever attempt a romantic relationship with you ever again. I'll settle for a completely platonic relationship afterwards. It'll be like a one-night stand.

"God, what I'm willing to do for you."