Coworkers AU. Oh, it's already the fifth week!
Daily Conversations
"Three broken ribs, two stab wounds, and a concussion. You must have had a rough night."
"Don't forget the bruised ego."
"...So, Minamoto, what did you do last night?"
"I'm not entirely sure."
"You pissed off the most dangerous man in the United States and you don't know how?"
"Is that a problem?"
"Er...yes?"
"Oh. Do you want me to try to remember?"
"Er...yes?"
"Okay. Can I have five minutes by myself to wrack my brain?"
"You'd use those five minutes to jump out the window."
"I'm not that suicidal."
"Actually, you are. Remember the diaphragm incident?"
"That was a fluke."
"A fluke that repeats itself every time you step foot outside, apparently."
"As long as I get the job done, it doesn't really matter, does it?"
"Minamoto."
"If you're going to lecture me, let me get my headphones first."
"Are you allergic to being healthy or something?"
"Says the girl with a broken arm."
"A broken arm is nothing compared to what you have right now."
"I heal faster than you do."
"But I'll be back at work faster."
"That's because you work at a desk job. How did you even break your arm? Did you fall down the stairs or something?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha. We've only got elevators in the Technology Building, remember?"
"Wow, you managed to fall down the stairs...on an elevator. That takes skill."