Chapter 37
Jason's Point Of View
I sat there at the table in my office, my pen hovering over the blank sheet of paper before me, wondering what I should say, what I could say to make Mera understand how much I love her, to explain all that she means to me without reviling the evil within me. And also, how to give her Ariston's ring. Mera is a brilliant woman, she will realize that I know where he is and beg of me to tell her and I would have no choice but to do so. I never have been able to say no to her, I do not know if anyone has.
I wondered, as I have so many times before, if I should not simply return Ariston to her care. I know she loves him and it is more than clear that he loves her. He would make her happy, I knew that much all too well. If she is going to be with me I did not want it to be out of pity, or because she does not have Ariston. I want her to be with me because she loves me.
I got up from my desk and made my way to Ariston's cell. He was leaning against the corner, trying to get some sleep, when I walked in. I felt a pang of guilt that I have left him here in this cell for so long. It is small, barely 8x8, and has no furniture. It was never meant to be living quarters, the inmates of my ice cells are only meant to stay in here until we attempt to bind their souls.
Well this, at least, I can change, I thought as I made a decision.
"Come on." I told him, leaning down with my hand held out to him.
He looked at me curiously and then grasped my hand, allowing me to help him to his feet.
"Follow me and make no sound." I told him.
He did as I bid but hesitated at the door, I gave a nod and he followed me threw. With one look I ordered the Shadows from that hall, when they were gone I double checked to make sure we were alone before placing my hand on the ice and turning it to water, which moved out of the way. I pushed on the wall behind where the ice had been and it quietly swung open into a dark passage way that only I was privy to. Ariston followed me into that passage.
Once we were inside I refroze the water and closed the door, leaving no trace that there was a passage here. I built this place with my own magic and hid the many passages well. I made it so that no one would be able to teleport within these walls and so I realized I would need a way to get from place to place discreetly. Only I know of these hidden ways and now Ariston. The strange thing was that I found that I trusted him more than I had trusted anyone in a long time.
I took hold of Ariston's arm and led him through the darkness. Twenty minutes later, I pushed opened another hidden doorway and brought Ariston into one of the guest suites. The ceilings were carved rock painted with gold and the walls were also coated in gold with a few gems here and there while the floors were black marble
There was a living area with comfortable red couches and a large flat screen TV. In the corner was an ornate table set for four people. This room looked out onto the mountains, it even had a balcony, though Ariston would not be able to escape from it.
"Welcome to your new cell." I said to him.
Ariston did not respond, he just stared at the sky and the clouds drifting through it as he walked towards the windows. I watched him as he hesitantly placed his hands on the doorknobs and swung the doors wide open, letting a gust of cool air into the room. Ariston walked out and looked up at the sky.
A few minutes later, he turned to me and I saw tears in his eyes.
"Thank you." He told me, his words were filled with emotion and gratitude. "I cannot tell you how much it means to me to be able to see the sky again."
"It is your element." I understood and he nodded.
"Thank you." He said again, just as profoundly.
"You are welcome." I told him, glad I could do something for him.
"Have you sent the letter?" Ariston asked a few moments later.
"I cannot even write the letter." I told him. "In order to give her your ring, I have to find a way I can explain how I got it from you but not tell her that I know where you are." I ran a hand through my hair, taking a deep breath to calm myself. "I am getting sick of all these lies. I just want to tell her the truth."
"Then do so." He said.
"She will hate me." I told him. "I hate me." I took a seat on one of the red chairs and Ariston sat across from me on the couch.
"You told me that Mera is the only woman, the only being that you have shared everything with." He said to me. "She knew your darkest secrets, every wrong and evil you had ever committed, yet she loved you, she forgave you. What exactly makes you think that this extraordinary woman that we both love so deeply has changed?" He asked, I smiled a bit. "Have some faith in her Jason."
"Jason?" I asked him, surprised he would use that name. "No more 'Nameless One?'"
"I have come to understand that it is that evil inside of you that deserves that punishment and shame." He told me. "Since neither of us will ever know or remember your true name, I thought you would not mind me referring to you as Jason."
"Not at all." I told him, a smile coming to my lips. "It was Lyra who gave me that name way back when. She said I needed a name, I thought it was ridiculous for her to choose Jason, since the meaning of that name is 'healer.'" I laughed and Ariston laughed with me. "It was only the two of us who knew about that name, it was our own secret, like our love."
"It is wonderful having something like that you can share, a privet joke only the two of you know the meaning of." Ariston told me. "Elianna and I had one of those. 'The sunset looks like rain.'" He told me and laughed.
"You want to know something pathetic?" I asked him. "You are the closest thing I have had to a friend in a very long time."
"You are right," Ariston said as a smile spread across his face. "That is pathetic." We both laughed.
"How long has it been since you had a decent meal?" I asked him.
"Since I was captured." He told me.
"Then I shall remedy that." I told him.
I sent out the command to my kitchens and then smiled. It was only a few moments later that there was a knock on the door.
"Come." I commanded and the door swung open.
A huge table of food was brought into the center of the grand room by a timid maid. She curtsied to me with her head low, not daring to look into my eyes. I knew who the girl was, an immortal we captured last year, her name being Numara. She fought the bonding process with all her might, it nearly killed her, but the Shadow took control before she could die.
"You may go." I told her and she promptly left.
I saw Ariston staring at the girl as she left.
"You know her?" I asked him, he nodded slowly.
"Her uncle asked for my help in finding her." Ariston said softly. "We thought she was dead."
"It is times like this that you hate me." I said and Ariston nodded.
"She did not deserve this." He said in a low voice as his hands went into fists.
"Few of them have." I told him in a low voice.
"Do you plan on continuing along this path then?" He asked me. "If that is so, I can tell you this much. Mera will not be with you. It will rip her soul apart if she loves you as you say she does, but she will fight against you until her dying breath."
"If it were so simple to stop the course of events I would." I told him. "Since Mera came back into my life when I found her three years ago, my conscience has been heavier than it ever has been. Everything I have done weighs down on me every day, tormenting me. I know what I have done, but I cannot simply give up my position as king of the Shadows, because someone worse would take my place. Someone who does not have a woman like Mera who reminds him he can be better than this, someone who is not held back by this conscience I have, and this world would be turned to ash."
"So you are saying that you are the lesser of two evils?" He asked, no anger in his voice anymore.
"Sadly, with all that I have done, I am still the lesser of many evils." I told him. "Lets eat." He nodded.
Ariston walked over to the food and looked at it for a time before he grabbed a turkey leg and dug in, I have never seen someone eat so fast. A wave of guilt washed over me as I saw just how hungry he was. He is my grandson, Zeus' son, and look what I have done to him.
Ariston slowed down after a time. He realized his hands and face were a mess and cleaned them with one of the black silk napkins. He smiled to me after wiping his mouth and in that crooked grin I saw his father. My mind went to all the times I have hid myself just to catch a glimpse of my son. More guilt came along with a terrible agony within my soul, an ache from that whole caused by my sons absence.
"I promise I usually have better table manors." Ariston told me with that crooked grin. Zeus got that smile from his mother, Theia, my first wife.
Somehow, my guilt managed to grow worse as I thought of her.
The first time I saw her, I was twelve years old and working in her father's palace. She was three years older than I was. She walked into the room as I dusted a figurine and I was stunned to silence. I had never seen a woman so beautiful as her. Theia's long black hair was in a braid that went down past her waist and her dress was white and flowing, her skin cinnamon and perfect, her bright pale green eyes were such a stark contrast to her skin and dark hair.
I could not take my eyes off of her as she walked about the room and when she gave me a smile I dropped the figurine in my hands and it shattered on the floor.
"What do you think you are doing boy?" Asked the woman I worked for, a minor goddess in charge of the royal household, as she came up and took hold of my collar.
"I apologize." I told her.
"It is alright Aurelia." Theia spoke softly and the woman curtsied to her. I bowed to the princess as she walked up to us.
"Forgive me my princess." I begged. "I did not mean to break it."
"It is alright," She told me softly. "What is broken can be mended."
She kneeled down in front of me. With a wave of her hand the shattered pieces on the floor refigured themselves to once again become a Griffon. Theia picked it up and reached past me to place it on the shelf, as she did I caught a whiff of her unearthly scent that I could not name. She pulled back and smiled kindly to me, a crooked grin.
"There is no need to be troubled." She told me, leaning down and kissing my cheek, sending an unfamiliar and wonderful feeling through me. She leaned away, still smiling to me.
After that she had asked me my name and I told her, though I cannot for the life of me remember my name now. That was back when I still had a name, before I welcomed Zenophian into my soul. As I grew and became a man, Theia took more notice of me, and by the time I was sixteen we were leaving love notes and letters for each other.
"You look like you are lost in a memory." Ariston's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"And a side of guilt to go along with it." I told him.
"You should eat something." He told me.
"Food does not appeal to me." I told him.
"Please." He said and I made myself a plate of steak with a few baked potato's and some vegetables.
I sat down with Ariston at the table and made myself eat, my mind was too far gone to taste what I was putting in my mouth.
"I take it you do not sleep much?" Ariston asked.
"Does it show?" I asked, taking another bite. Ariston nodded. "My dreams are too much to take."
"Mera?" He asked.
"I wish." I told him. "I do dream of her some nights. But the rest are filled with memories of the things I have done, especially to her ancestors." I ran my hand through my hair. "I am lost. There is no way I can make up for what I have done."
"You are not lost." Ariston told me. "You cannot give up now. Guilt is a good thing, it means you are taking responsibility for the things you have done. If you want to be worthy of Mera and her love, then you have to trudge ahead and keep moving forwards." I looked into his sky blue eyes and knew he was right.
"I know you still worry for her." I stated
"She is my wife, I always will." He told me. "I am worried she will get hurt."
"I told you I will protect her." I reminded him.
"That is not the kind of hurt I am speaking of." He told me, looking up into my eyes and I understood his meaning.
"You believe that I will hurt her emotionally." I stated.
"I know Mera." He told me. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was just to convince her to be with Cronus for her own good? She is stubborn and strong willed and she worries that she will hurt me. If she does love you as you claim she does, she will fight it and it will hurt her. And when she finds out who you are…" He let out a deep breath.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked, feeling helpless. "I cannot bare her being in pain anymore than you can. But I cannot give her up, not when there is still a chance she might love me as she once did. I do not know what to do." I told him.
"What's done, is done." Ariston told me. "You cannot change the past but you can choose what to do from here on out."
"How does that help me?" I asked him.
"Helping others will help you." He told me. "It was the only thing that gave my life meaning after my family died. I would have been destroyed if it were not for my duties. They gave my life meaning."
"What about Mera?" I asked him.
"Tell her that you found me, but I was moved." He told me and I smiled.
"I should have thought of that." I said. It was in that moment that a plan began forming in my mind, a plan that if it succeeded, might begin to make up for what I have done.