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Derailed

Chapter 36: Heroes and Villains

~ Catspook

"What was that?" Bae asked.

Rumplestiltskin had heard it too. "I believe Lily is making her attempt on David and Snow. My spell will protect them, but there cold be collateral damage. Stay here and guard the shop, please."

Bae nodded, reaching for his bow. "Sure."

Rumplestiltskin followed the sound, appearing in front of the hardware store. Maleficent was standing in the street, watching with a mixture of pride and worry as Lily awkwardly struggled to fly towards the edge of town. Fortunately, he did not smell anything burning.

"Do you know where she is headed?" he asked Maleficent. She was flying in the opposite direction of both the loft and the Town Hall; if the Charmings were her target, her trajectory made no sense.

"No," she said. "I don't think she understands what she's done. You have to be taught to fly, and she doesn't know how…"

"She's looking for a safe place to land," he said.

"Yes," she agreed hastily. "Don't hurt her, please."

"I have no intention to. But if she needs someone to teacher her how to land, I am hardly the ideal candidate."

"She…" Maleficent's worried frown smoothed, and when Rumplestiltskin transported himself to a field in Lily's sightline, she followed him. Rumplestiltskin stepped back as she walked to the center of the field and transformed herself, spreading her black wings in the winter sun.

Rumplestiltskin could just barely see Lily over the tops of the trees, and she wobbled dangerously at the unexpected sight of her mother. Maleficent launched herself into the air, banking skillfully towards her daughter. Lily attempted to turn, one of her enormous wings dipping too low and nearly catching on a tree. Maleficent shrieked in distress, and Lily beat frantically, gaining enough altitude to pull her free of the tree line.

Maleficent made three passes of the clearing while Lily tried to fly ever higher, eventually exhausting herself. By the time Emma and Regina pulled up in the yellow bug, Lily had begun to attempt an inelegant landing. The ground shook as she hit it, her talons digging into the earth and throwing her off balance. He raised a hand, casting a spell to cushion her before she could collide with a large rock formation. She shook her head to clear it, and Rumplestiltskin, Regina, and Emma watched in fascination as Maleficent approached her and proceeded to speak to her in the language of dragons.

"What do you think they're saying?" Emma asked.

"I think she's asking for a chance," Rumplestiltskin said.

"Lily?"

"Maleficent."

After much tail lashing, grunting, and snarling, they seemed to come to some kind of agreement. Maleficent delicately touched her snout to her daughter's, and then they both shed their dragon forms. Lily glanced towards Emma and Rumplestiltskin suspiciously, but grudgingly (and limping slightly) followed her mother as she walked across the field towards them.

Emma's phone rang. "It's the hospital," she said, glancing at the number with a frown. "Sherriff here," she answered. She shook her head in disbelief as the person on the other end spoke. "What? Hold on, I'll be right there."

"What's happened?" Regina asked.

"Malcolm, Zelena, and the Author have escaped."

Zelena flipped disaffectedly though the only book in her cell. They were all allowed to request books from the library, but she didn't know enough about the literature of this world to make specific requests (and no one had offered to help her), so she simply asked for a new, random book every couple of days. She was certain at this point that either Regina or Rumple's little librarian took pleasure in picking out the most mind-numbing garbage to send her. They had to know that boredom would force her to read it eventually, and this current offering (a nauseating collection of pabulum called Chicken Soup for the Soul) did nothing to dispel that theory. She sighed, gazing at the small strip of blue sky she could see through the high windows.

Suddenly, without explanation, the door of her cell swung open.

She set the book down and stood up, bracing herself for Regina, or Rumple, or whoever. Instead, she heard footsteps and an unfamiliar woman speaking to the Author. She peered out of her cell.

"So are you coming, or what?" a young brunette asked. She waved towards the hall impatiently, "My spell won't last forever."

"Who are you?" Zelena challenged.

"I'm Lily," she said. "And we don't have a lot of time. If you're coming, come on."

"Lily… Maleficent's daughter?"

"Yeah. Are you coming, or not?"

"Why free us?"

"Because I need the Author to undo what he did. The rest of you are just a distraction."

"In that case, you need me," Zelena said.

"You keep telling yourself that." She gestured one more time to the Author, grabbing his wrist when he seemed reluctant. "You will undo what you did if you want to get out of this alive," she said. He put up a weak protest as she dragged him down the hall.

Zelena dove back into her cell, yanking the mattress away and grabbing the Quill. Unlike Isaac, she knew an opportunity when she saw one. She ran to catch up with Lily, finding Malcolm at the entrance, going through the guards' pockets.

"We don't have time for that," Lily said, "They'll be here soon."

"Waste not, want not, lassie," Malcolm said, pocketing whatever he had found and jumping up to join them.

"Hold on," Lily said.

She transported all four of them to the Sorcerer's mansion. "You've really become quite the little witch that could, haven't you?" the Author asked obnoxiously.

"Shut up."

"Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but there might be a little problem with your plan."

"What problem?"

"My Quill has been destroyed."

"Then make a new one."

"It doesn't work like that. The Quill chose me, not the other way around."

She grabbed him by the collar. "You're lying! Fix this or I will kill you!"

Zelena closed her hand over the Quill in her pocket. She could guess who had left it in her cell - just as she could guess the reason she had survived Ingrid's attempt to assassinate her - and if Hades was responsible, she knew she could not trust him.

It would be just like him to break her down to her lowest point and then present himself as her liberator; after all, that's what she would have done. But between Regina, Rumple, and the Savior, she needed to make a decision quickly if she did not want to end up back in that cell. "How are you with enchanted manacles?" she asked Lily.

"What?"

Zelena extended her wrist, showing her Rumple's manacle and Pan's cuff underneath. "Free my magic, and I'll help you."

"How?"

"I know where the Quill is."

"Where?"

"Free me and I'll tell you."

Isaac looked at her pleadingly, certain she was lying, but just as certain that she could protect him from Lily's wrath - if she cared to. Lily pushed him to the ground, rounding on Zelena with a fist glowing with magic. "Tell me, or I'll kill you."

"Kill me and you'll never find it."

"I'll tell you where it is, lassie," Malcolm said. "I don't even want anything in exchange - from you."

"What do you want?"

"Same as you - a happy ending. That's what the Author's for, aye?"

"If you can get my Quill back, I'll write you all happy endings," the Author said, dusting himself off. "But just to warn you, I need ink too," he told Lily.

"Right here," she pulled a vial out of her pocket and handed it to him.

He uncorked the bottle and peered inside. "It will do."

"Great. Now, where is the Quill?" she asked Malcolm.

He grinned enigmatically, sauntering over to Zelena. "Yes, lass, where is it?"

"You said you knew!" Lily said.

"And so I do." Effortlessly quick, he snatched the Quill from Zelena's pocket and twirled it between his fingers. "Now, where did you get this, I wonder?"

"Let me see it," the Author said anxiously.

"We have a deal," Malcolm said talking the Quill playfully, "Don't forget that. Power and eternal youth; that's my happy ending."

"I know who you are, Peter Pan; don't worry about that. My Quill, please."

Grinning, Malcolm handed it over. "You promised all of us," Zelena said. "I'm the one who brought the Quill here."

"And lied about it," Lily accused.

"I didn't lie; I'd have told you, just like I said. Why should I give it to you for nothing?"

"Whatever, fine. Is it real?" she asked the Author, "Can you do it?"

"Yes," he said, smiling. "All I need is a book."

"Right here." Lily summoned a large tome. It was bound in black leather, silver lettering spelling out the title: Heroes and Villains.

He looked at the title. "How did you know?"

"I did my research."

"Hm. So what is your happy ending?"

"I want the Savior's darkness out of me, and to grow up with my mother. And… I want to belong somewhere."

"I can do that. And you?" he asked Zelena.

"I want everything my sister was given. I want her true love and her happy ending."

"OK, I can work with this. Come into the study; your happy endings begin now."

Gold and Regina teleported to the hospital to look for clues. Emma directed Maleficent and Lily to get in her car while she called her parents, but Maleficent decided that taking them all straight there with magic would be faster.

"I'll tell you what I told Gold," Emma said, bracing against a wall, "Warn me before you do that, OK?"

"Emma!" Mary Margaret said. "… and Lily."

"Aren't you glad to see me?" Lily challenged.

"Your prisoners have escaped," Maleficent said.

"Which prisoners?" David asked.

"Zelena, Malcolm, and Isaac," Emma said. "Gold and Regina went to the hospital to see if they could find anything."

"But the Quill is broken, right?" Henry asked. "The Author can't re-write things."

"Yeah," Emma said, "But if Zelena got that cuff off, she could be a problem."

"Cuff?" Maleficent asked.

"It blocks her magic; it's how we've been able to hold her so far. If she got it off, we're going to need something else. I'm going to call Belle to bring us Pandora's Box."

"Why would Zelena bust the Author out if he can't do anything for her?" Lily asked. "You said he was kind of pathetic and useless."

"I don't know. Maybe he hitched a ride?" She made the call to Belle.

"Emma; did you stop Lily?" Belle asked.

"Yeah, that's all good now, but we have a problem. Zelena, Malcolm, and Isaac escaped. Gold and Regina are at the hospital now, but I need you to bring me Pandora's Box; if Zelena has her magic back, we need to take her out quickly."

"Yes, of course. I'll meet you at the Sheriff's station."

"Yeah. We've got this, Belle."

"I know."

"See you in a minute."

"Bye, Emma."

"So this Zelena is a badass, huh?" Lily asked.

"She can be," Emma said.

"And you think she's going to reverse time again, or something?"

"We don't know what she'll do, but it won't be good. You want to help?"

She shrugged and idly scratched her arm. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Lily, what happened to your arm?" Maleficent asked. Lily pushed her sleeve up, revealing a half-healed scar.

"I don't know," she said, honestly confused. "It's not some kind of dragon thing?"

"No," Maleficent said, concerned.

"Maybe I scratched it when I transformed or something; I don't remember it."

"Scratching yourself or transforming?" Maleficent asked.

"Transforming. That's not normal?"

"No," she said, concerned, "That shouldn't happen."

Emma's phone rang. It was Belle. "Belle, did you get it?"

"I did, Emma, but I noticed something else." Something bad, judging from her tone.

"What?"

"Rumple's half of the Author's Quill is gone."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes. This is where he keeps it, and it's gone. How could they have taken it so quickly?"

"I don't know. Unless they had some outside help." Like Hades. "OK, you and Bae bring the Box to the Sheriff's Station. I'll call Regina; maybe they don't have her half yet."

"OK." Emma heard her calling to Bae, and she hung up. She dialed.

"The Quill?" Henry asked, "They have the Quill?"

"Half of it. Hold on, Henry, we've got this." She wasn't sure. At least half of the Quill was gone, and someone had made Lily bleed. Emma's stomach dropped as they all heard rumbling, and everything began to shake.

"What-"

Everything - the loft, Henry, her phone - vanished. Instead, she was standing in the middle of a medieval village in a strange, gray dress, surrounding by unfamiliar faces staring at her. A pair of knights in black armor rushed over and threatened her with a pair of pikes. "Halt! Identify yourself!"

"My name is… Leia. And I'm afraid I have to go." Gold had only been able to give her one lesson on teleporting, but she'd learned by now that her magic always came through right when she needed it. She reached for it and… nothing.

Oh, no.

She took a step back.

"Halt, in the name of Queen Snow White!" the guard said.

"Queen Snow White?" That sounded promising.

She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up.

Henry woke up on the floor. The key to the Author's door was in his hand. And everyone was gone.

"Mom? Grandma? Grandpa?" He even tried, "Lily? Maleficent?" Even baby Graham was gone. He found his Book and flipped to the page with the door. It was still there.

He ran outside. The streets were empty. The shops were empty. He tried to call Baelfire. It went to voicemail. He tried to call August, same thing. "What did they do?"

He went to the only place he knew that might have magical answers: the pawn shop. Everything was there… except the people. "Baelfire? Belle? Mr. Gold?"

They were gone. Zelena, Malcolm, and the Author had done something, and they were all gone. "Don't panic," Henry said. "You're still here; you can fix this." He remembered Baelfire telling him once that adventures weren't as fun as they sounded; that once you'd been on a few, you'd wish you could go back to "boring". He was starting to see what he had meant.

"No! You've got this! You can save them!"

But how? He looked at the Book again. The stories were still there; nothing had changed. He found that comforting, but it didn't give him any clues on what to do next, either. He went to the Sorcerer's mansion and didn't find anything. There was no clue anywhere in town.

"So I have to leave town."

Bae had also told him how important supplies were to a journey. He went to the loft and packed a bag of clothes and a bag of food. After avoiding them for years, Emma had started buying red apples recently. Along with the granola bars, peanut butter, and bread, he took the entire bowl of apples.

But what he really needed was money. Hoping their family connection would earn him some leeway, he went back to the pawn shop and emptied the register. He loaded everything into Mary Margaret's car, and hoped his one driving lesson with David months ago would be enough to get him where he needed to go.

He made it to the next town over without hitting anything, but his attempt at parking… wasn't great. Granny's was the center of Storybrooke, so it stood to reason that this town's diner was the place to go. He showed the waitress pictures from the library open house, asking if she's seen anyone from Storybrooke, but she didn't recognize them. Then she excused herself and made the mistake of calling the cops where he could overhear.

"I think he's a runaway…"

He took a step back, turning to run, when he saw a rack of books. Heroes and Villains, a fantasy best seller according to the cover. Written by Isaac Heller. Isaac? If this book had existed yesterday, Belle would have told him about it; she loved sharing new releases. He turned the book over, and the Author was staring out at him from the back cover.

About the Author: Isacc Heller lives in New York…

New York.

There was no way he was getting Mary Margaret's car to New York, but he had over a thousand dollars in cash and a smartphone. He ran back to the car and looked up the nearest bus station.

Isaac still couldn't quite believe that he'd gotten away with it. If Regina hadn't tipped him off about the Sorcerer and the Apprentice setting her up to free him, he might not have risked it. They didn't really have a sense of humor about an Author breaking the rules, but for some reason, they seemed to want this to happen. So they could get a new Author? Maybe. He didn't care.

He hadn't quite been prepared for how annoying book signings and press junkets could be. The price of fame…

His latest fan handed him a homemade pin-back button as she gushed over his characterization of Regina. It wasn't the first piece of "fan art" he had received, and he'd learned to smile and nod and accept them graciously, even when they were insultingly amateurish and cheap.

"…Her life is just so unfair. Is she going to get a happy ending in the sequel? Please, you have to tell me."

"Sure, I can tell you." He beckoned her closer. She leaned down. "She… Sorry, no spoilers. You'll have to buy the next book when it's finished."

She laughed. "Alright."

Isaac smiled and put the button in his bag to toss later. When he looked up, a large book was on the table, open to a very familiar drawing of a door. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

The Savior's kid leaned over the table and begged, "What did you do with my family? Where are they?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You're lying." He pulled out the key. "You know what this does. So either you give me some answers, or I open this door again and you get a whole new ending."

"Fine. Meet me in the back."

The kid nodded, taking the Book and the key, and Isaac made his excuses. It was difficult, and when he could finally get away, he marched into the back room and said, "OK. Much to the chagrin of my publicist, you have my undivided attention."

"Where's my family?"

"You really want to know? Look around you." He gestured to the boxes of books. "They're all right there. In my best selling book."

"What does that mean? Are they still alive?" He'd pulled the page with the door out of the book, and brandished it, holding the key way too close to the page.

"Tut, tut, tut. Easy with the key, cowboy. Your family is fine. If you want to get technical…" he opened his bag and pulled out the Book Lily had conjured for him. "They're in here. See? The original copy of my book, the one I always wanted to write. They all live in here now in a kind of alternative reality-"

"You made them miserable," he accused.

"I see you've read some of my book. Good. Good. Then you know that everyone got the ending they deserve. Except Emma, of course. You won't find her in the book. There was no room of a Savior in my world."

"Bring them back, or I use this!" he threatened, wielding the page again.

He held up his hands. "I can't. I don't have the power. The cardinal rule of the Authors is: don't write your own happy ending. As you can see," he shrugged, "I broke that rule. So this," he pulled out the Quill, "It's just a pen now. And me? I'm nothing more than a best selling writer with legions of fans and a penthouse over Central Park."

"If you can't get them out, then give me the Book and I will!" He grabbed it, and Isaac lunged and took it back.

"You?" He laughed. "Do you know why you're still out here, kid? Because you're not from a magical world. So take it from me, you'll never be a knight in shining armor. You're just a poor, innocent child that needs saving. So, why don't you put the key away and stick to the role you're best at?"

Isaac turned to walk away, and the little shit actually took that as an invitation to tackle him. But instead of incapacitating Isaac like an adult would have done, he just grabbed the Book from where it has fallen and started flipping through it. "Now what?" Isaac asked, "You're going to tear up the Book?" He was doing something with the key. "Wait, don't be stupid!" That little idiot! The kid actually took the key, shoved it into a random page, and turned.

Tendrils of magic shot out of the book and dragged him in. Isaac turned to run, but he was standing too close; a moment later, he was dragged in too.

Damn it!

He landed hard, ruining the pants of his suit. He looked around at a village he knew - a deserted village. The last chapter. The ogre. Shit. A shield lay abandoned on the ground next to him, and he picked it up. The kid had found a sword and was staring at it like a moron. He swung it around. "Cool."

Isaac dragged the shield over. "Feel like a hero now?" he asked. "Don't get used to it." He swung the shield up and clobbered him. The kid crumpled like a ball of paper. "Idiot."