Okay...so this update is kinda long...and a little insane. But I felt like stirring the shit pot a little. Perhaps I stirred it too much with this one, perhaps I didn't. Either way, here it is, and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for continuing to read...on a side note: this story shouldn't be lasting too much longer but it still has a little ways to go. For everyone that is still reading, I really appreciate all of you so much :D

A few days later, House was standing in his office facing the book shelf behind his desk. He had actually come in early today. After all, he didn't see a point in lying awake for hours just wasting time when he could be solving his latest puzzle.

Seth Jones was on the edge of death, and House had every single answer except the right one. He couldn't find what he was missing and that greatly troubled him. House's uncanny diagnosing ability was all Seth had left to depend on. If the great Dr. Gregory House couldn't cure him, no one else could.

House heard his office door open, but he didn't turn around to see who had entered. He initially assumed it was one of the team members until he felt the atmosphere around him change. Only one person could carry that sexually tense air, yet oddly comforting aura with her wherever she went. He could just imagine the confident way she was sauntering towards him. House knew her head was held high and the rhythm of her heels softly tapping the carpet was created by her characteristic hip sway when she walked.

Cuddy placed a gentle hand on the small of his broad back and appeared to his left. "Hey," She said softly. "How's it going?"

He turned his head to get a full look at his boss. Clad in a black suit jacket, a red velvet shirt peeking from underneath her jacket, a black pencil skirt hugging her ever so closely, and her classic black heels, Lisa Cuddy was dressed to perfection.

House shivered once at her touch then sighed, rubbing his forehead with his right hand, "If by 'it' you mean my day, it's very stressful. Or if by 'it' you mean my patient, it's not going well...hence why my day is stressful."

Her hand dropped from his back and she positioned herself in front of him, her arms folding across her chest. Cuddy's expression was purely serious, but he could see her compassion in those blue green eyes of hers. "How much time do you have left?"

"Not much," Was his simple reply as his eyes fell to the floor. He looked up from the carpet and into her eyes, finding a familiar gleam to them. Something was on her mind.

House pushed himself forward, walked around her, then sat down at his desk. He looked up at her. She'd inched closer now, standing parallel to his desk. "Now, I know you didn't just come in here to check on me. What's on that busy little mind of yours?"

Cuddy sighed and her face twisted with guilt and uncertainty. "House, I hate even asking, but I really need you to pick up Rachel from school today and stay with her until my mom can get to my house."

House mentally kicked himself for even bothering to ask. Instantly, he posed the question, "Where's Wilson?"

She braced herself for the explanation, "He's going to an oncology conference downtown tonight and as his boss, I'm obligated to go with him."

House nodded and processed her request. He was on the verge of agreeing until he hit a road block. Her name was Arlene Cuddy. "Wait- you said your mother?"

Cuddy grimaced, "Yes."

"Does she know that we're okay?"

"Not exactly," She said slowly.

"Well, you think you can fit a phone call into your schedule?" His tone clearly reflected his agitation. "I like having my manhood, you know."

"I'll car her," Cuddy assured him. "So, you'll do it?"

House sighed in defeat, "Sure."

Cuddy exhaled heavily, relieved. "Thank you." She walked behind his chair and placed her hands on his wide shoulders. He was oddly more tense than usual, and she knew that it was due to his patient. "Just keep trying," She whispered, her hands sliding gracefully up and down his arms and across his upper back. "You can do it."

"I don't know," He mumbled.

"Well, I do. I have faith in you. You're a great doctor."

"I'll do what I can," House offered before turning his chair around to face her. His eyes were breast level, and as tempting as it was to stare, he tilted his chin upward and met her eyes. Cuddy leaned down and kissed his forehead, smiled once, then left him alone in his office.

[H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H]

Seth only had minutes left. Foreman was sitting in his room when House arrived.

"We've done everything we can," Foreman whispered to House. "I haven't broken the news yet."

"Leave it to me; I'm good at crashing the party," House said grimly. Foreman nodded and left him alone with the patient.

House sat down in the chair formerly occupied by Foreman and watched Seth. The guy was too young to die, and House felt solely responsible for cutting his life short. It was all because he couldn't figure out what was wrong fast enough.

"What's going on, doctor?" Seth suddenly asked.

House looked up to face him, but couldn't meet his eyes, "I don't know."

Fear welled in Seth's eyes, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what;s wrong with you," House clarified.

"So what's going to happen? Am I going to die?"

Ah, the million dollar question. Seth had thrown House a curveball. He couldn't lie, not when Seth lacked even a small chance of life. Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to tell Seth that he would be fine, that he would leave within the next few days, that he knew what was wrong and could fix it. He couldn't lie, not this time.

House swallowed hard and managed to choke out the answer, "Yes."

Panic manifested on Seth's face, "There's nothing you can do?"

House's expression remained unchanged, yet the pain in his voice was evident when he could barely speak to the dying boy, "If there's an answer, I haven't found it...We've done all we can do."

Moments of silence passed before Seth spoke again, "So this is it?"

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," House responded.

The patient was suddenly angry, "I came here because I heard that you're the best. You've cured so many people...why not me? Are you not who people say you are?"

House sighed and ran his fingers through his head, guilt washing over him. "I've done all I can, Seth. I've given my best but unfortunately, it's not good enough." House felt like slamming his head into a wall.

"That's what everyone says," Seth retorted. House let the tension between them fade. The patient's face softened and he began to ponder a very heavy subject from what House could see. "When I die...I feel like I've been a good person, but will that be good enough to get me to heaven?"

"I can't answer that," House admitted.

"Well, answer me this," Seth began. "If you were dying, would you feel good about the way you've lived your life? Would you feel like you've been good enough?"

House shook his head, "No."

"Why not?"

House shrugged, "I've done terrible things."

"Everyone has. Everyone can find forgiveness for what they've done," Seth argued.

House looked at him, skeptically. "You really believe that?"

"I would have died long before now if I didn't...I just want to be able to say that I'm proud of the way I've spent my time here," Seth said. He opened his mouth to speak again but his words were cut off by a heavy coughing fit. His breathing was shallow and he couldn't stop the coughs.

He was dying.

"W-what's...what's h-hap-pening?"

"You're dying," House said, unable to help him.

Seth reached out and grabbed House's forearm. He closed his eyes tightly as if he were praying to some divine power, then opened them one last time after his coughing subsided. "Everyone deserves a second chance...no matter what you've done, it's not too late."

Seth's voice drifted and his heart slowed to a stop. House felt a tear slide down his face and brushed it off quickly. Then, he brought his hand to Seth's face and closed the boy's eyes.

In that moment, House knew that he had to get away for the rest of the day. For reasons that he didn't understand, House felt attached to Seth. The boy was so full of life, so young...he didn't deserve to die at such a young age, no matter how naive House thought he was.

House pushed himself up from the chair and stormed out of his room. His team was waiting outside. One glance at House's face told them everything they needed to know. Thirteen was the first to try to console her boss. She followed him down the hall and tried to stop him.

"Where are you going?"

"Thirteen, I need a favor," He said, ignoring her question.

She stopped in front of him and looked up at him curiously, "What's going on?"

Shame filled his face, but his eyes were determined, "I'm supposed to pick up Rachel from school and babysit for Cuddy tonight until her devil mom arrives...but after this, I just need to be alone."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," The young doctor exclaimed. "No. I don't babysit, and I'm busy tonight. Try asking Taub; he needs all the kid experience he can get."

House scowled and limped over to Taub, "Taub, Daddy T, D-Taub, I need you to do something for me."

Taub sighed and braced himself, "What?"

House lowered his voice and mentally kicked himself with every word he spoke, "Pick up and babysit Rachel Cuddy tonight."

Taub's eyes widened tremendously in horror, "What the hell? Why me?"

House shrugged, "Seeing as you have two kids of your own, maybe you should practice being a dad on the Dean of Medicine's child." Taub opened his mouth in protest, but House cut him off, "So you'll do it? Great."

With that, House turned away from him and his face fell. Cuddy was going to kill him but he couldn't handle it. Seth's death had impacted him in a catastrophic way. House needed to be alone and detached from the world.

[H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H]

After the oncology convention, Wilson drove Cuddy home. When they arrived at her house, something was out of place. An unfamiliar car sat in her drive way.

Cuddy knew it wasn't her mother's car, but she also knew that it couldn't be House's. Panic consumed her thoughts.

"That isn't his car...this is strange," She muttered as she nearly sprinted to her doorstep.

When her shaking hands finally managed to unlock her door, Arlene Cuddy and Taub were standing, looking as if they were engaged in a serious conversation.

"Taub, what the hell are you doing in my house?" Her voice was as calm as she could manage, but there was a razor sharp edge to it.

"That schmuck bailed and got one of his minions to get Rachel," Arlene interjected, her face fuming with anger.

Cuddy's heart nearly stopped. She felt a sinking feeling from her head all the way to the pit of her stomach. She almost felt like passing out.

Before she could burst into a fit of anger, Rachel came running in from the living room. "Momma?"

Cuddy tried to compose herself, "Hey baby girl." She turned to Taub, "Where's House?"

Rachel looked up at her mother and cocked her head to the side, "House?"

"Yes, House. We don't know where he is," Cuddy's tone clearly reflected her disappointment, as if her crestfallen expression didn't suffice.

"He must be playing hide and seek somewhere..." Rachel's voice trailed off and she looked around for possible hiding spots.

"No, honey, I don't think so," Cuddy felt sick to her stomach. "Wilson, can you call him?" Instantly, Wilson whipped out his cell phone.

"I don't know where he is. He just told me to be here," Taub admitted sadly.

"Damnit...Wilson?"

Wilson shook his head, "No answer."

"I can't believe he pulled this. He told me he'd be here."

"His patient died," Wilson offered, although he knew it wouldn't be an acceptable excuse for Cuddy.

"What the hell does that have to do with my daughter?" She spat angrily.

Wilson sighed, "You know how losing patients gets to him."

"I'm going to put the fear of God back into him," Cuddy threatened.

"Whoa now, Cuddy. Don't do something you'll regret. Get Rachel and we'll ride over to his apartment," Wilson offered in a desperate attempt to get Cuddy to calm down.

Cuddy shook her head, "I'm not exposing my daughter to whatever the loss of his patient has caused him to do. She can stay with my mother. Taub, I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. I'll make it up to you."

With that, Arlene, Taub, and Rachel were left alone in the doorway.

[H] [H] [H] [H] [H] [H]

Cuddy stormed up to House's apartment like a bat out of hell. She arrived without any idea of what she was going to say when...or if she found him. All she knew was that it was going to be ugly.

Wilson knocked on his door, "House, open up..." He twisted the door knob and pushed the door open. "It's unlocked." Wilson entered first, followed by Cuddy. He looked around the dark apartment until he spotted House sitting in a chair, staring blankly into space. "House what-"

"Where the hell have you been?" Cuddy interrupted, her voice loud enough to be heard by the neighbors. "Did you conveniently schedule this over babysitting for me?"

"Calm down, Cuddy," Wilson whispered in her ear as he observed House's condition. He didn't appear to be drunk or stoned, but it was obvious that he was deeply disturbed.

"Don't tell me to calm down. My daughter left the school with a stranger, something I know I taught her to never do."

"Just breathe," Wilson cooed, but he knew there was no point in even trying. Cuddy was absolutely livid.

"I can't believe this," Cuddy muttered, mostly to herself.

A few moments of silence passed before House finally spoke, "I'm sorry."

"You're drunk," She accused.

"Negative," House protested. "Get a breathalyzer. Check for yourself. I'm not high either," He added.

"Then what's your excuse?"

House cringed, "I don't have one that you would approve of."

"No shit!" Cuddy exclaimed, pacing back and forth.

"House, what are you doing?" Wilson asked, clearly disappointed in his friend. House had been making a noticeable improvement, and now it was being undone.

"I have a lot on my mind," House said. "I lost my patient because I ran out of time. I let him down. Cuddy, I'm sorry for not getting Rachel and not keeping my word."

"You really screwed up," Cuddy spat.

"I'm sorry," House pleaded. His apology was as genuine as they came.

Cuddy's face softened slightly, "I know."

"Do you forgive me?"

She had to think for a moment and remembered one of her mother's rules from when she was a child. She had to forgive no matter how much she didn't want to at times. "Well, yes."

"I need to hear you say it."

"I said yes..."

"No, say you forgive me," House persisted. He was being oddly pushy for forgiveness.

Cuddy swallowed hard and through gritted teeth, "I forgive you."

House smiled in his own amusement. He shook his head and mumbled to himself, "He was right."

Wilson was the first to comment on his odd behavior, "House, what are you talking about? Who was right?"

House looked up at him, "It's nothing."

"House..." Cuddy began, but she caught herself trying to reason with him. He knew he would just deflect. Trying to talk to him would get her nowhere and would leave her with more questions than answers.

However, much to her surprise, he spoke, "My patient told me anyone could find forgiveness. I wanted to see if he was right."

The fire in Cuddy's eyes returned, "You pulled this stunt to prove a point? You set my daughter up to leave with a strange man she's never met!"

"Yes and no," House answered. "I never intended to prove a point, but now that I think about it, this has turned into quite the point proving opportunity."

She rubbed her temples, "Are you insane?"

House shrugged, "Probably."

"House," Wilson began, angrily. "When will you stop with the games?"

"This wasn't a game," House argued, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Then what was it?"

House thought for a moment, "It was stupid, first of all. I'm sorry. I asked for forgiveness because I had to get something right today."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Babysitting would have sufficed."

"Not for me."

"So it's all about you, then?" Cuddy was beginning to grow hysterical. "You had me fooled, House. I really thought you were changing, but you're still the selfish man I remember."

House struggled for his words, "That wasn't what I meant...damnit. I can do better."

"Now where I have I heard that before?" Cuddy said with a scowl.

"Cuddy, shut up before you say something you'll regret," House warned.

"Maybe you should take your own advice," She returned, using all of her energy to restrain herself from lurching towards him.

"Would you both just shut up?" Wilson yelled. "Look at you two. Just both of you...calm down or something. You're both beyond help. I'm going outside, Cuddy. Come get me when you're ready to go." Wilson turned and left the two of them alone.

House slumped into his chair, "We sure do know how to clear a room."

Cuddy clenched her eyes shut and took a few deeps breaths, calming herself. She couldn't believe that House had let her down like this. He knew what Rachel meant to her.

"How could you be so irresponsible?" Her tone was no longer anger. Now it only reflected sadness and disappointment.

"I don't know," House answered, shamefully.

"You seemed shock at the way I'm reacting," Cuddy noted. "How exactly were you planning to explain this one to me?"

House thought for a minute and shrugged, "I hadn't gotten to that part yet. You got here about ten minutes too early."

"Well, did you get to the part where I give you a speech about how this goes against what we're working so hard to build?"

"I assumed it was coming," House answered truthfully, avoiding her eyes.

"House, this is so childish," She scolded.

"I know. But you forgive me and I'm genuinely sorry. So we should forget about it."

"It doesn't work like that."

"Then how does it work?" House drilled. "I apologize, you forgive me, but then you still act like a bitch for a week?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes as her level of annoyance continually increased, "No. I was just expecting more from you, House."

"This is a bump in the road," House began. "Memory serves, you don't do well with them. This is me preparing you for several more when, or if, you come back to me. Now, obviously, this bump is extreme, bu smaller ones will pop up. This is what you're potentially signing up for. Can you handle it?"

"So this was a test?"

"No, not originally. Call it what you want, it doesn't change the fact that it was obviously a very bad idea...but answer the question," His voice was more pleading than it was commanding.

"I don't want you testing me, House," Cuddy warned. "Just because I gave up on you two years ago doesn't mean that you can just pull shit like this to show me what I'm getting myself into. I know what I'm getting into. I know who you are. You don't have to do stupid, juvenile things like this to open my eyes. They were never closed to the person you are to begin with."

"I didn't do this to be juvenile. I needed to get away after Seth died...and it just so happens that this proves a point along the way," House said, desperately trying to reason with her. To his dismay, he found that the more he said, the more angry she grew. If he lost her now, he would only have himself to blame.

"You had several motives in this."

"No, I didn't," He objected.

Cuddy turned towards the door, "I don't know if you're satisfied with a shitty outcome, or if this was the outcome you wanted all along, but I'm going home. My daughter needs to go to sleep, and my mother needs to go home. And I suppose I should pay Taub for filling in for you. Or maybe I should pay my mom to prevent her from killing you in your sleep."

"Goodnight..." House said, realizing that there was nothing he could do to stop her. He heard the door slam and placed his head in his hands.

He didn't know what to expect at work tomorrow, but he wasn't giving up this time. He couldn't lose her for good, not because of his senseless mistake. House had to make her see.