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Severus scowled as Hermione's parents stared at each other in horrified embarrassment. It served them right for acting like dunderheads.
"We are so sorry," Muriel began as she faced Severus. "We, we didn't know you hadn't always lived in the magical world."
Hermione lowered her head. "I suppose I should've told you more about him before bringing him over."
"We, we just thought you'd be so interested in our conveniences that you'd come in here and look right through us. I'm really sorry we made such an assumption," Wilford replied.
Severus' face softened as he watched them grapple with their humiliation. As much as he disliked both of Hermione's parents at the moment, they were part of her family, and by extension, his. Merlin knew Hermione would want them involved when their granddaughter was born. "Why did you assume such a thing about me?" Severus finally asked.
"I don't think they liked the Weasleys," Hermione replied in a soft voice.
"That's an understatement," Wilfred interrupted as a fire returned to his eyes. "I couldn't stand any of them."
"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree," Muriel replied. "I found nothing pleasant about any of them, especially Ron."
"Mum! Dad!" Hermione exclaimed in shock. "I knew you weren't thrilled with them, but to find nothing pleasant about them at all?"
"It's true," Muriel replied. "And I'm not ashamed to say it now that you've married another man. They were nothing but rude to us, and took no interest whatsoever in us as people."
"But they always asked you questions!" Hermione argued.
"They asked us questions about our things," Wilford corrected. "Every time they'd come here, that Arthur fellow would demand to know something or another about our 'muggle' technology. Whenever we'd try to talk about ourselves, he'd ask us some question about a freaking toaster or some other trivial thing. He couldn't have cared less about us."
"Molly was no better," Muriel continued. "She always asked how I could be happy with just one child, an already sensitive subject for me." She turned to Severus, who looked curious but made no move to ask. "I developed uterine cancer a year after Hermione was born."
"Oh," Severus replied. "That must've been difficult for you."
"It was, but at least I had Hermione. I'm very grateful for her. Nevertheless, it was hard to hear Molly go on and on about the joy of having a large family," Muriel responded.
"I thought Molly knew," Hermione responded in complete disgust.
"We told her, but she obviously didn't listen. She was too interested in muggle toys and arrangements for our grandchildren. It was always about her and her family, her and her world. We didn't matter at all," Muriel replied, her anger towards them evident.
"I never knew the Weasleys could be so ill-mannered," Severus answered as he choked back the sympathy he was developing for these people.
"In Molly's defense, she never did try to actively destroy our house," Muriel answered.
"George said he was sorry," Hermione replied.
"Then why did it happen three more times?" Muriel asked. "It really burned me when he blew a hole in the roof on Christmas Eve. I had spent all day cooking a dinner for eleven people because Molly invited her children over, and my thanks was thousands of dollars in renovation due to some untested product!"
"I'm all for a joke," Wilfred replied, "But he never knew when to stop."
"I can't argue with you there," Hermione conceded.
"Bill could be reasonable and a pleasant conversationalist, as could his wife, but they never did replace the lamp their baby broke, or clean the carpet she urinated on," Wilfred replied.
"Percy was decent, though never around enough," Muriel mused.
"I found him to be a bore," Wilfred replied. "Then again, I don't understand the workings of the Ministry, so everything he said about his job was hard for me to follow."
"What about Ginny?" Hermione asked as she felt a lump grow in her throat.
Her mother smiled. "I truly enjoyed Ginny. Unfortunately she wasn't around nearly enough after her mother disowned her for marrying that Malfoy person. How is she anyway?"
"She's doing well," Hermione answered in relief. "She and Narcissa are planning my baby shower."
"That's wonderful," Muriel replied.
Hermione gulped and asked in a soft voice, "What did you two think about Ron?"
Both of her parents exhaled as pure revulsion returned to their eyes. "There's a reason we never openly encouraged your relationship," Muriel responded slowly.
"He treated you like something he scraped off his shoe," Wilfred replied. "I can't tell you how heartbreaking it was to read your letters, obviously upset over his drinking or his fans, and yet you refused to leave the jerk! He was no good, and if Severus over here did anything right, it was finally convincing you to get rid of him." Then he turned to Severus. "Though only time will tell how good you are for my daughter."
"I will do my best to provide for her," Severus promised.
"How?" Wilfred asked in a firm but not hostile voice.
Severus sighed. "I don't know if you understand fully the circumstances surrounding my marriage to Hermione."
"I know she was pregnant with your baby," Wilfred answered.
"Yes, that was part of the reason. Another part, however, involved a large inheritance my grandmother left me," Severus explained.
"In order to receive this inheritance, he had to get married," Hermione replied.
"So you married Hermione for your grandmother's money?" Wilfred answered.
"No, I married her so we could provide for this child."
"Does she have any protection should something happen to you?" Muriel asked.
"If I perish, she inherits everything. If for some reason things don't work out, then she will receive a substantial portion of my inheritance. In addition, I am planning to open a chain of apothecaries that I believe I can make very profitable. That is how I intend to provide for our daily needs," he replied.
"You've thought this through quite well," Wilfred replied, relieved.
Silence overtook the room.
"Mum, Dad?" Hermione finally asked.
"Yes?" they answered together.
"If the Weasleys offended you so much, why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked.
Muriel sighed. "You loved Ron. It was so obvious to everyone. You were trying so hard to be acceptable to his family. We understand; we've both been in love before. We also knew that you wouldn't listen to us when we told you about their shortcomings, so we kept quiet, hoping you'd finally see them for yourself."
"I'm sorry I didn't," Hermione answered. "I feel so awful for putting you two through all of that. I didn't realize how bad it was."
"It's done and over with," Wilfred answered before turning an eye to Severus. "Are there any relatives of yours we should know about?"
"All I have is Draco," Severus replied. "He's my godson. He's also Ginevra, or as you know her, Ginny's husband."
"Well, I think I could stand to have a family meal with them," Muriel answered.
"I wouldn't speak too soon," Severus warned. "His father, Lucius, is a man of… refined… culinary tastes."
Muriel smirked. "No one could be as picky as Hermione was when she was three. She would only eat onion rings."
"Mum!" Hermione playfully complained.
"Onion rings?" Severus asked with interest.
"Oh yes!" Wilfred laughed. "Even at Christmas dinner, we had to have onion rings or Hermione wouldn't even look at her plate."
"Onion rings actually kind of sound good right now," Hermione noted.
The Grangers erupted into laughter along with Hermione. Severus smirked as he quietly chuckled. "I can fix you some right now if you like," her mother offered.
"I really don't want to put you out," Hermione replied.
"Nonsense. We've started off on the wrong foot with Severus. Maybe after a meal we'll all feel much better," Wilfred answered.
"Now," Muriel began, "We have turkey, roast beef, and ham sandwich makings…"
"I could go for some roast beef with mustard, if you have the mustard," he answered.
"We do," Muriel nodded
"I'll fix the onion rings," Wilfred offered as he stood up. "Would you like anything else to eat, Hermione?"
"Could I have a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich?" Hermione asked.
"I think we can manage that," Muriel replied.
Everyone stood up and walked into the kitchen, where the conversation soon turned to the Grangers' dentistry practice and their life in Australia. As Severus listened, he found them more and more tolerable. On some level, they were even likeable.
Maybe the Grangers wouldn't be the in-laws from hell after all.