"I hafta go somewhere..." Deidara mumbled, crawling off Sasori's lap as they watched TV together.

Sasori didn't pay much attention to the boy leaving, nor did he really care what he was going to do. The only thing that was bothersome was the lingering cold patch forming where a toasty warm Deidara was snuggled in. That unfortunately was making him prickle with goosebumps and actually then made him want to come back.

Just to be warm. That's all. Don't read too much into it - sheesh.

"Brrr..."

The cartoon soon ended and Sasori questioned if Deidara was actually going to come back or had gotten distracted by one of his many toys. If it was indeed that Deidara wasn't coming back, perhaps just for once he could watch what HE wanted. Certainly not another cartoon about super ultra fighting robot lizards. However, as he went to grab the remote, just as if it was on queue, little footsteps could be heard thumping down the wood floor of the hallway. Sasori could only sigh and release the remote back into its place. So much for his time to relax and enjoy something for once.

"Danna! You gotta come see this!"

Lulling his head to the side, Sasori remained calm and seated, but still gave the child enough attention with his eyes. "You mean you WANT me to see something."

"That's not the point, un! Get up!" He cried as he grabbed his Danna by his finger tips, trying to yank him from the sofa. "Come see and take a picture so Hidan can see, un!"

With a groan, Sasori lurched forward and stood up, allowing himself to be dragged along by the child. Where he expected to be dragged, the bedroom, he was surprised to be taken to the bathroom instead.

"Dei? What could you possibly show me in here?"

"Look! In there!" He yelled pointing inside the toilet.

"Deidara I swear if you made a potion in the toilet with toys and soaps again, I - " Sasori froze, his lips forming into a straight line. Glancing at Deidara he could see nothing but confidence and pride. "Why are you showing me this?" He then asked with his nose crinkling in distrust as well as disgust - mainly disgust though. "Why in the world would you show me your feces?" He repeated, brows furrowed in utter confusion.

"Feesees?"

"Poo Deidara. Poo."

"Ahaha!" Deidara shrieked, nearly falling to the floor. "Danna said poo!"

"Yes." Sasori growled. "Now tell me why exactly this hasn't been flushed."

Deidara puffed out his cheeks and rested his fists on his hips. Leaning to look into the toilet bowl he hummed in thought. Suddenly his head shot upwards into Sasori's direction, this time a wide smile on his face.

"Because it's really big, duh!"

Sasori rubbed his face with one hand quickly before flushing the toilet much to Deidara's displeasure. This was nonsense.

"Heyyy!" Deidara whined. "Wasn't that the biggest poop ya ever did see? It hurt a bit coming out too, un!"

Unfortunately recalling the piddly little slip of feces, Sasori shook his head. That thing was nothing to be proud of. Tiny babies had tiny poopies of course. So it being the biggest? Far from it of course.

"Deidara."

"Yes Danna?"

"Don't show me your little shits ever again."

Gasping, Deidara covered his mouth in shock. "That was not little! That was at least ninety four times bigger than the one Hidan showed me at school today! If only he were to see that baby, WHICH YOU SO RUDELY FLUSHED, UN!" He cried, defending his loss of a champion.

This peaked Sasori's interest a little. "Ah I see..." He mumbled as he washed his hands. That was why Deidara wanted a picture of it. Yuck. "Hidan and you are having... Size contests?"

"Yeah! Hidan said the bigger the poops, the cooler the person, un." Deidara hummed as he hopped up on his little footstool to wash his own hands.

Shaking his head, Sasori could only smile a little at this foolish conversation. "Deidara, I hope that this comes back to haunt you when your older." He mumbled, ruffling the boys hair.

"Un!? What does?"

"Poop size contests."

Deidara frowned as he didn't quite understand the embarrassment of the situation. "I don't get what you mean, un..."

"It's okay. You will someday."

-A FEW STREETS AWAY-

"Hidan!" Kakuzu yelled looking down at his cellphone which had just beeped, signaling a text. "What's this I hear about shit sizing contests with Deidara!?"

so this is a bit of a situation that happens at one of the schools I work at. why the boys want to flaunt their poops? I have nooo clue.