Uncanny New Mutants

Chapter 36: An Evening With The Grimms

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own August.

Shout Outs-

Sean Malloy-1- Sorry, no plans for any other X-Women getting pregnant. I think four is enough now.

ViciousAssassin- I really do pick on my favourite characters, don't I? Heh-heh. I'm sure Emma will get over that bit with Jean, it was just the hormones talking.

Todd fan- Mmm, squee…

Agent-G- if women living in the same place are supposed to synchronise their monthly cycles, then why not synchronising pregnancies as well? I can't help but wonder if the Institute can survive four pregnancies at once…

Author's Notes- The Morph and Blink that appear in this chapter aren't the Exiles characters, nor is Blink the girl that appeared during the Phalanx Covenant. They are both new characters. Still not mine though…

Quote of the day- 'Iron helps us play…'

Kurt and August's room-

'Hurry up, liebe.' The fuzzy blue X-Man known as Kurt Wagner called in to the en suite bathroom. 'We're meeting everybody at the Baxter Building at seven. We don't want to be late.'

'I'm just making myself pretty.' Kurt's girlfriend, the super-strong fire-wielder known as August, called back.

'You're pretty enough as it is.' Kurt remarked as he straightened out his shirt.

'Always such a gentleman, fuzzy.' August chuckled as she sauntered out of the bathroom dressed in her underwear.

'Mein Gott!' Kurt groaned. 'You're not even ready!'

'That's not usually the reaction that I'd expect from somebody when I walk out in my skivvies.' August sniffed. 'You'd usually be all over me by now.'

'But we are not making love now, liebe.' Kurt shook his head good-naturedly. 'As much as I'd like to, we really do have to get a move on. Your mother is expecting us.'

'And my mother hates it when people are late.' August shook her head. 'If I had a dollar for how many Nova Roman senators she's set on fire for being tardy, I'd have… a dollar.'

'That's not very many.' Kurt commented.

'I guess not.' August shrugged as she tried to choose some shoes to match her dress. 'I think you'll like my mother's cooking, Kurt.'

'Selene cooks?' Kurt blinked in disbelief. 'Isn't that kind of thing beneath her? I would have thought that the Black Queen would leave that to her servants.'

'Usually she would…' August nodded. 'But my mother always made time to cook dinner at least once a week. She may have been an evil immortal sorceress but she always made sure that we had at least one family meal together. And her pasta… God, it's to die for.'

'I guess she's had a lot of time to learn, huh?' Kurt chuckled.

'Almost two thousand years to perfect the family pasta recipe.' August nodded. 'It was worth the wait though.'

'I can hardly wait, liebe.' Kurt smiled as he held August close.

'Kurt, don't…' August hissed. 'You'll smoosh my makeup.'

Kurt rolled his eyes.

'Oh ja, now you want to get ready…'

Meanwhile, in the War Room-

While Kurt and August prepared for dinner with Selene, the rest of the X-Men were sitting in on a briefing in the War Room.

'Cerebra detected two new mutant signatures in Manhattan…' Professor Xavier explained. 'I have called you here to try and recruit these two young mutants. I am fairly certain that the pair or orphans, or maybe they have been abandoned by their parents, I am not sure yet. Either way, I think they would be better off as part of the Institute than living on the streets. This is a minor mission so we will not need all of Rahne's team. Rahne will not be able to go on the mission due to her pregnancy and Kurt is due to go to dinner with August. I will leave electing the interim leader up to you.'

'I think we should have Wisdom lead the team.' Rachel piped up. 'He led X-Force for a while, right?'

'Thanks for the vote of confidence, luv.' Pete smiled at the redhead. 'But my leading days are finished.'

'How about Amara?' Warlock asked. 'She's the most senior member after Rahne and Kurt.'

'Me? Lead?' Amara blinked. 'W-what about TJ? Surely she's more qualified than me. You used to lead a squad back in your home reality, didn't you?'

'Well yeah, I did.' TJ nodded. 'But it isn't really my place to lead this team. I think you should lead, 'Mara.'

'Well, if nobody has anything else to add…' Amara offered as she looked around at the gathered team.

'I'm good.' Jono shrugged. 'I ain't got no interest in leading anyway.'

'Alrighty then….' Amara rubbed her hands together. 'Let's go recruit these mutants…'

The Baxter Building, later-

Kurt stood nervously outside the door to the Fantastic Four's private quarters high atop the roof of the Baxter Building. The fuzzy elf was nervous because the last time he had met Selene face-to-face, the immortal sorceress had tried to kill them. (1)

August smiled at her boyfriend and gently squeezed his fuzzy hand in comfort.

'Don't worry, Blue…' August reassured him. 'We're not very late.'

'And whose fault is that?' Kurt asked. 'I wasn't the one that spent ninety minutes choosing shoes.'

'Oh, please.' August snorted. 'It was more like eighty-nine.'

Kurt just shook his head good-naturedly as they waited for somebody to come to the door.

'You're late…' A feminine voice noted as the door began to open. 'You fully well know that I do not like being made to wait, Augusta.'

August winced at the use of her full name.

'Sorry, mother…' August winced. 'I couldn't choose what shoes to wear.'

'Then why didn't you use your magic skills to conjure a suitable pair?' Selene remarked. 'It would have saved you time.'

'You know I don't like using magic too much, mother.' August pointed out. 'That was why we originally fell out, remember?'

'You always did prefer to use your hands rather than magic.' Selene remembered. 'It's good to see that you haven't grown lazy or taken your skills by granted.'

'I liked my fire powers better than magic anyway.' August smiled as Selene led them inside.

'Yes, I remember.' Selene smiled at the memory. 'My beautiful little pyromaniac.'

'Mother…' August blushed. 'Not in front of Kurt…'

'Oh Gods…' Selene winced. 'How rude of me. I'm sorry I didn't greet you, Kurt. I've been oh so busy with the cooking.'

'That's quite alright, Selene.' Kurt smiled kindly. 'Whatever we're having smells lovely.'

'It's the family pasta recipe.' Selene said. 'August's favourite.'

'How do you get it so perfect, mother?' August asked. 'I tried to cook some back at the X-Mansion but I can't get it just right.'

'It's magic, dear.' Selene smiled. 'One tiny sprinkle of pixie dust and you have Heaven in a bowl.'

'It's oregano, isn't it?' August frowned.

'Way to spoil the magic.' Selene rolled her eyes.

Manhattan-

Meanwhile, the X-Men were scouting around Manhattan for the two new mutants. The team had been split up into pairs to cover more ground. Warlock was paired with Chamber, while Magma was paired with Wisdom and Marvel Girl was with Nocturne. The team was keeping in contact with each other by Rachel's telepathy.

Warlock stopped for a moment to report in.

'Any sign of our new recruits?' The techno-organic shapeshifter asked telepathically.

'Nothing yet, 'Lock.' Marvel Girl reported.

'You're not using this as an excuse to make out with Rachel, are you?' Magma piped up.

'Oh, please.' Marvel Girl snorted. 'We're not totally sex-mad, you know.'

'You must be the only ones.' Wisdom quipped.

'Let's just keep our minds on the task at hand, shall we?' Marvel Girl swiftly changed the subject. 'The Mobile Cerebras should have picked up their signatures by now…'

'Ey up…' Chamber piped up. 'I think we've got 'em…'

Chamber was about to continue when something heavy dropped down on to him, knocking him to the floor.

'Jono!' Warlock yelled. 'Get off him, or so help me…'

'You'll do what?' A voice challenged.

Warlock turned around, only to get a giant punch in the face.

'Nice try, buddy.' Warlock rubbed his chin. 'But you'll have to try a lot harder if you wanna hurt me.'

'How about this?' The stranger smirked as he changed into an angry rhinoceros.

'Oh, crap, he's a shapeshifter…'

The Baxter Building-

Kurt sat back in his chair with a satisfied sigh.

'Selene, that meal was fantastic!' Kurt rubbed his belly. 'You were right, that pasta was absolute magic!'

'I hope you don't think that yer finished just yet, Elf.' Ben Grimm, the Ever-Loving Blue-Eyes Thing snickered. 'We still got dessert.'

August closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.

'Please be pavlova. Please be pavlova…'

'We're having Raspberry pavlova.' Selene pointed out.

'Yes!' August crowed, before realising that people were staring. 'Sorry…'

Kurt took a sip of his wine as he looked at the now-normal Ben.

'Ben, I can't help but notice that you're…'

'Normal?' Ben finished for him. 'Yeah, I can change back to normal now. Long story really. But the long version… Diablo's alchemy mixed with Selene's magick.' (2)

'And now we can enjoy the whole newlywed experience.' Selene grinned as she kissed Ben on the cheek.

'Mother!' August spat out her wine in surprise.

'Oh, hush dear.' Selene rolled her eyes at her daughter. 'I am sure that Kurt and yourself are open about your relationship.'

Selene then leant in close to whisper in her daughter's ear.

'I've had my old Hellfire Club garments cleaned so you can pick them up whenever you're ready…'

August just blushed at the remark and looked at Kurt nervously.

'A-heh-heh. I have no idea what you're talking about, mother…'

'I'm sure you don't dear.' Selene chuckled. 'Do you want me to get you the handcuffs and whip as well?'

'Mother!'

Manhattan-

Marvel Girl and the rest of the team followed Warlock and Chamber's signatures to a dingy back alley where vagrants were known to congregate.

'Everybody fan out…' Magma commanded. 'There's no telling what kind of trouble they could be in…'

'Uhh… 'Mara, luv?' Wisdom pointed out. 'I don't think that'll be necessary. Look.'

Magma looked where her partner indicated and saw a rather battered and bruised Warlock and Chamber yukking it up with two scruffy young mutants. One of them was a guy with pasty white skin and a largely featureless face except eyes and a mouth. The other young mutant was a young woman with pink skin, strange markings on her face and bright purple hair.

'Hey, guys…' Warlock smiled, waving them over. 'Come join us. Morph's a real joker. Go on, tell them about the thing with Iron Man and an armadillo…'

'The joke kinda loses its impact when you tell it too much.' Morph shrugged. 'I know a joke about Galactus and a pot of peanut butter.'

'Morph? Blink?' Nocturne blinked in disbelief. 'What the heck are you doing here? And why are you so young?'

'Are we supposed to know you?' The purple-haired girl asked with a confused frown.

'Alternate realities. Right.' Nocturne nodded.

'I take it the recruitment drive was successful.' Marvel Girl cocked an eyebrow.

'After Warlock got trampled by a giant rhino, yeah.' Chamber nodded. 'I think Morph an' Blink'll just be glad to get a warm bed for the night.'

'And how.' The pale guy nodded. 'Do you what it's like for a shapeshifter to stay out in the cold all the time?'

'I have a pretty good idea.' Warlock nodded. 'Remind me to punch Scott in the face for sending us to Antarctica some time.'

'I only dreamed that I'd be an X-Man one day.' Blink smiled. 'Now it's going to come true.'

'What about your parents?' Wisdom asked. 'Aren't they gonna be worried about ya?'

'We're orphans.' Blink pointed out. 'We used to live in Mutant Town but our parents were killed by some symbiote guy.'

'Carnage.' Morph remembered with a sneer. 'God, when I get my hands on him…'

'Save the revenge for another day, okay?' Magma asked. 'First, we need to get you fed. You must be starving.'

'I wonder if Kurt and August'll bring back some leftovers?' Marvel Girl thought out loud.

'I doubt it.' Nocturne snickered. 'If this reality's Kurt eats like my version, there won't be a single crumb left.'

'Rahne's Country-Fried Steak it is then.' Warlock grinned.

'You mean takeout from Denny's, right?' Wisdom pointed out.

Warlock shot the Brit with a glare.

'Way to spoil the magic, man.'

TBC…

Next: Daddy Issues

An attack by the Marauders leads August on a hunt for her real father. Was August's father a random Nova Roman senator or somebody far more sinister?

Author's Notes-

(1)- Waaaaay back in Chapter 5.

(2)- As seen in 'The Uncanny Four'