Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. Sorry for the delay, I actually fell asleep while writing this chapter yesterday so when I woke up it was a bit late. Sorry again, I was just completely knackered yesterday.

Thank you to everyone for the reviews, they are all amazing. I decided to do Hotch as I will be honest concerning this, I had a bit of writer's block writing Prentiss so I'm going to watch a few Prentiss centred episode so I can understand her character again.

Namira, this will not turn into slash, I don't write it and I don't read it. Gideon is at the hospital and I will be confronting the issue of where Reid will be staying as he won't be returning to his apartment. (See below). I would love to write a sequel to this but I'm not sure. I've considered having Reid's recovery as a separate fanfic.

Enjoy and please review

All mistakes are my own

Hotch watched from the sofa as Reid and Rossi walked back through the cabin door, Reid was smiling slightly as was Reid. Hotch knew that they must have had one hell of a conversation. Hotch watched as Rossi gave a small nod to Reid before walking into the kitchen.

Reid took a deep breath and turned to meet Hotch's gaze. Reid walked over to Hotch and sat down as far way from Hotch as he could. Reid hesistated for a few moments before he decided he needed to conquer the part of himself that was afraid to speak to the man he had once trusted with his life.

"C-Can I talk to you?" Reid said, his voice small and timid. Hotch turned to face Reid.

"Of course you can," Hotch said.

"I want t-to speak to you b-because I know t-that is going to be the hardest talk I am going to h-have. You have to u-understand that I have a h-hard time being around you b-because of the fact that you knew what was happening to me in that place and you d-didn't stop it, y-you knew that t-things weren't right and y-yet you did nothing t-to come and get me," Reid said as he tried to control the small element of anger inside of him as it began to grow.

"Reid, I couldn't get you out of that place. We had no proper evidence to show that you were being hurt inside the hospital, I tried appealing against your placement into the mental hospital but because of the trauma you had received before and your suicide attempt they rejected the appeal. Reid you have no idea how much I wanted to come into that place and get you out," Hotch explained, his voice almost pleading with Reid to forgive him.

"Y-You should have t-tried harder, I gave you c-control of my medical decisions b-because I thought I-I could trust you. You have no idea how hard it was to be in that place, h-how much like hell it felt like. I d-didn't stop running f-from that place. I-I have to live with the memories of that pl-place. I know t-that you are so-sorry but I n-need you to u-understand that it is g-going to take t-time for me to get past all of t-this."

Hotch knew that Reid was right, he knew that he should have tried harder to support Reid after Reid had tried to commit suicide. He knew that he should have fought teeth and claw to get Reid out of that place. Hotch knew he should have tried to prevent the doctor from even putting Reid into the mental hospital.

"Reid, I want you to know that I will be here for you and give you whatever you need as you recover. I'm so sorry about even letting them put you in that place. Reid, you can talk to me about that place when the memories become too much to bear on your own. I know that you have been through torture and horrors that I can't even begin to understand. Reid, watching you being tortured by Jay Henson was horrible. Reid, you are important to me and the team, to your family. You are like a son to me Reid, I want you to know that you are never alone and you never will be. I don't ever want you to try to hide away the pain from the team. When you shouted at me on that bench after I found you smoking it made me see that you were hiding away how you truly felt about everything that had happened to you. Reid, as a friend and as your boss, I am telling you to never keep the pain inside. You let it out," Hotch said.

Reid bottom lip was quivering slightly. Hotch looked up and saw that Reid was crying gently.

"Reid? Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you," Hotch said as he put his hand on Reid's shoulder.

"I-I'm okay, I'm just trying to process a f-few things," Reid said before he turned to face Hotch. "I was hiding away w-when I-I came back t-to work. I w-was still having n-nightmares and I w-was struggling with what Jacob h-had done to me. I-I was struggling w-with the fact that you a-all knew what had been done to me. I was s-still angry and I-I know that I shouldn't h-have hid how I-I was really feeling. Hotch, I d-don't know if I-I can get through this, I d-don't know if I can return to the BAU and n-not be affected by w-what I see. I can't look at t-the crime scene p-photos and simply accept t-them. I k-know how t-they felt when t-they were being h-hurt, I know how they f-felt just before they d-died. I know how i-it feels to die, I keep wondering w-why I just didn't s-stay dead. Why d-do I keep on surviving when a-all that follows is pain," Reid sniffed before his let more tears run down his face as the emotional barrier inside of him broke down.

Reid felt the barrier inside him continue to crumble. It crumbled down a little every time he spoke with one of the team.

Hotch put his arm around Reid and comforted Reid as he cried.

"Reid, you keep surviving because you are strong and because you know that the team is here. You keep surviving so you can stay with your family. Reid, you will always have a place at the BAU, you can take as much time as you need before you return to work, if you decide to return to work. Reid, you are still the same man to us. What Jacob did to you doesn't make you any less of a man?," Hotch said as he tried to calm him down.

"But..but..Jacob s-said I was crazy and h-he u-used me to g-get himself off. I-I'm nothing n-now, I c-can't work. I c-can't even stop m-myself crying. I'm n-not Spencer Reid anymore, I'm just w-what he called me. I'm crazy," Reid said before he started to hyperventilate slightly.

Hotch noticed the far off look that came across Reid's eyes. Hotch had seen the look before, he knew that Reid was having a flashback and he knew that he needed to stop Reid going back to the place.

Reid began to whimper and cry harder as he closed his eyes and remembered. Hotch was shouting for Reid to snap out of it but he was having no effect.

"Morgan! I need some help!" Hotch shouted, he knew that Morgan was the only one that really knew what Reid was going through and he knew that Morgan was maybe the only that could snap Reid out of his flashback. Morgan ran into the room and was at Reid's side immediately.

"What happened?" Morgan asked Hotch quickly.

"We were talking and then he said that he wasn't him anymore, he was just crazy. I think he is having a flashback," Hotch responded. The rest of the team stood at the doorframe as Hotch pointed at them to stay where they were.

"Dammit!" Morgan growled slightly. Reid began to scream causing both men to become alarmed.

"I-I'm sorry I-I told! P-Please no!" Reid screamed and cried.

"Reid, it's Morgan. You aren't back th-there. Snap out of it okay. Listen to my voice, he can't hurt you anymore. Reid, listen to my voice," Morgan calmly ordered Reid.

Reid breathing started to level out slightly, his entire body was shaking as he looked up to Morgan. Morgan put his hand on Reid's shoulder causing Reid to jump slightly at the touch.

"Reid, take a deep breath. Are you okay?" Morgan asked.

Reid brought his hands up to his hair and grabbed a fistful of hair in each hand.

"Get out of m-my head. I d-don't want t-to remember!" Reid said before he started to hit his head. Morgan grabbed Reid's wrists and held them.

"Reid, it's okay. H-he can't hurt you anymore," Morgan tried to reassure Reid.

"I don't want t-to be like t-this anymore. I w-want to me again," Reid said leaned against Morgan. Morgan put his arms around Reid and rocked him gently.

It was then that Hotch realised that Reid was in more pain than he realised.

Please review

I wanted to ask you all two questions -

1. Who would you rather Reid stay with? I'm torn between Rossi and Morgan.

2. Would you like Reid's main recovery to be a separate fanfic? It would turn my trilogy into four fanfics.

Love some feedback. Please review