*I don't own twilight or these characters.*
Enjoy and review!--
***BPOV
Me and Rose watched movies all day. We watched the notebook, Alpha dog, Sleepy Hollow and 300. We finally sat there, staring at each other when Rose broke the silence.
"I'm so glad you called me. We haven't had a girls day in forever." "I know, I'm so happy" I smiled, it actually hurt to smile that big, but I couldn't help it. I was so damn happy.
"I really don't want to leave, but soon as Jasper gets back here I need to tend to Emmett. He's probably hungry, wondering what happened to me." she got up off the couch and walked into the foyer, looking into the mirror and fixing her hair.
"Can't you stay? I'll tell him I've kidnapped you and your mine now." I shook a mock fist at laughed, throwing her head back, "Yeah watch how fast he comes over here and breaks down your door. He did it to Jasper's Dad. It was funny. He kicked in the door at the ranch and you should've seen how fast he ran back out, the Major chased him with an unloaded shotgun. Chased him so far he stopped for a cigarette before Emmett realized that if the Major was going to shoot him, he would've done it from the porch."
I laughed, "That sounds like Emmett alright."
"Should I start on dinner? That way when Jasper gets back, he doesn't have to do anything." Oh Rosalie.
"No. He said he would pick something up for dinner so don't worry." I smiled at her..
Just then we both jumped at the sound of a car door slamming shut. "What the hell? If that's Emmett. He's dead." We both laughed while she went to open the door.
I heard the door open, I heard the wind blow outside clearly from the opened door. I heard heavy footsteps approaching the door. Yup, Emmett.
"Yes, I'm here. Not a scratch. Calm down. Do I have to call Peter?" That voice made my heart skip a beat. "Yes…. Yes….Hang on." My heart kept accelerating, my breathing hitched and my body started shaking, like I was about to do a presentation in front of a class or something. Except, I loved this feeling.
"There you are" I got up off the couch, and started towards the door quickly. Trying to relieve the sensations through my body. His head was titled down, I stopped just in the nick of time but he took a couple steps forward, it completely caught me off guard, making me fall over in the process.
"Fuck, Honey" his cold hands snaked around my waist, I heard things hitting the floor. I knew he dropped his keys, they scattered as he lifted me off the ground, slightly running across the room trying to keep his balance.
"Watch it Jasper, your going to send Bella into the hospital again." Rose began picking up the things he dropped, trying to make the house less of a death trap for me.
His cheeks were beet red and his blue eyes were pools of water, on the verge of tears. Probably from how cold it was outside. His eyes were running all over my face and his cold hands pressed my body up against his warm body hidden underneath his black coat. I closed my eyes when my forehead met his neck, breathing deeply, those sensations faded away, bringing on the butterflies and happiness that fills every fibre of my being when he's around. I found my hands running up his chest from his belt buckle to his neck.
"Darlin.. " his cold hands met my shoulders, pulling me away from him, my hands grabbed onto his blue sweater, tightly holding him. Tears were forming, I missed him too much. "Hey, you alright?" I could smell his breath. It smelt of grapefruit and mint. He'd been smoking.. I frowned.
"I'm fine, you've been smoking." his hand brushed my cheek. Gah! I jumped backwards. He chuckled. "Your hand is so cold" He raised his hands as if to be admitting defeat. "Excuse me a sec darlin, I've got a freaked out Charlotte on the phone." he turned on his heel to just bump into Rosalie. He caught her, lifting her off the ground and spun her around.
"You damn women need to stop this, before I kill one of you."
We both laughed at him. "Phone Roz!" he walked over to the couch and threw her down, she gave up the phone instantly.
"What's got Charlotte freaked out? Its not the baby is it?" I thought about how Charlotte was all alone at the ranch with the Major.
"It's….. well… its uh, something you and I need to talk about honey. Give me 5 minutes and I'm yours." he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
What the hell was that about?
Rose got up, with a sad look on her face, she looked up at me, replacing the sad look with a smile and walked over to give me a hug. "Don't worry, if anything give me a call. I'll bring Emmett over when you're better!" I nodded and she headed towards the door. "Bye Jazz.. Calling you in a few days!" she yelled as the door shut behind her.
I laid down on the couch, with a pillow behind my head, I closed my eyes. I began reflecting back on the last few days. It really did hurt, but, its how life is. I've had to learn the hard way to deal with upsetting things. I can't let it get me down. If I do, I'm that stupid 17 year old again.
I'm allowed to cry and have moments to be sad but I won't let this take over my whole life.
I really do wonder if our baby was a girl or boy. Definitely, they would have Jasper's blond hair and blue eyes, be funny and sensitive like him. If I had it my way, they wouldn't inherit anything from me but if they did, they would be clumsy like me, love books and be completely willing to throw themselves into something they strongly believed.
My Example? The Blond, blue eyed angel that is in my life. Making me a happier, better woman. I will never regret falling so blindly and so fast for this man.
I felt a blanket drape over my body. I smelt a slight hint of cinnamon, tearing me out of my thoughts, my eyes snapped open. I was met with a surprised face. "I'm sorry. I thought you were sleeping, rather than wake you…"
I shook my head. "Its fine. I was just thinking, waiting for you."
His slight frown turned upside down into a sly smile. "Honey, you didn't have to wait, I can leave you to your thoughts." he got off his knees and I grabbed his hand and yanked him towards me before he was able to get too far from me.
His other hand shot out to the couch. "Careful" chastising me. I started to get up, with his assistance, I sat up, he sat down, draping my legs over his lap. He began rubbing my legs, using a slow, up and down motion. His face tensed up. This wasn't good.
I was about to say something when he started talking.
"I haven't been completely honest to you Bella." titling his head towards mine
"Wha…What are you talking about?" Not honest? You?
He Sighed "I guess I should start at the beginning, before I met you and then shortly after."
"Okay?" I was confused.
"Bare with me. This gets hard for me."
He sighed again. He ran a hand through his tussled blond hair, tugging slightly at the end. Uh Oh. He's really nervous.
"I know I've told you about my parents..."
He took a breath. "Its no secret, I've been abused you've seen my scars on my back.. I don't hide it. I'd like to start about when I was five This time was the first time. I was in the yard, playing in my little sandbox, I had a toy horse, as brown as your hair, I called him Murphy" He laughed slightly. "Anyways, me and Murphy were rounding up the bad Ants. And putting them in jail.. Jail was in the back of my fire truck and from the fire truck into a bucket of water. I didn't even know I had been outside all afternoon when The major came home."
He brought a hand to his throat and tugged at his sweater.
"Turns out my toy horse Murphy, wasn't suppose to be outside, and I was sunburnt. My Father took one look at me and snapped like a twig.. I uh, I was dragged into the house, the scorching hot pavement scratching at my skin, as he walked across the lawn and brought me into the house…. The next thing I remember is my mama stroking my hair, singing to me, just making up a song trying to get me to stop crying.."
He paused. Maybe he was editing out parts for my sake or maybe he didn't remember.
"They were more frequent. He always struck me, for whatever reason. If I spoke out of turn, if he took something the wrong way. I learned respect too damn early in life. That also leaded to my own personal demon."He grabbed one of my hands, squeezing it lightly.
"You have seen my temper… but you don't know the extent of it."
His breathing started becoming irregular and he closed his eyes. I took it upon myself to sit in front of him and wrap my arms around him. The pain in me, stung. I moved too quickly, ignoring it I squeezed his body tightly into mine, Jasper groaned at how tight I was squeezing him. "Sorry. Continue." I kissed his nose and released my hold on him.
He put his arms around me, taking another deep breathe. "When I was about 18, my girlfriend at the time, Tanya, was staying over at my house for the weekend, we had a huge science exam we were trying to cram all weekend until the Major wanted to bring out his red eyed demon to play with me. I really got into it with the Major. He kicked my door in, I stood in front of Tanya, he waltzed into my room and grabbed me by the shoulder, ripping me out of the room. I was dragged down the stairs, now being taller, he couldn't drag me across the ground. We made it outside and he threw me with force on the ground. I got up and shoved him back." He Paused again.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to recall this. I've buried it for some time."
I began to wonder about Tanya, how beautiful she must've been, how amazing she would've been to fit with Jasper. He sighed. "We went after each other for a while, Peter finally came running out of the house with Tanya behind him. He had to rip us apart like we were dogs fighting. Naturally, He had to pin me and Tanya got close enough to me that the Major wouldn't strike me with her so close to me. I remember getting up, looking in her eyes, she was so afraid. I decided to take her home and stay at her place. It was better that way..""We packed our stuff and left. I was more than likely covered in bruises. My mood was even worse. I couldn't believe he just attacked me like that when Tanya was there. Anyways, we left. The way it was…. Was that Tanya lived on the other side of town. The Ranch is outside of it on the west end and she was on the far east end. I began driving, trying to console Tanya, show her there was nothing broken and that I was fine. I was still angry. I let my own demon seep through, we were a mere 5 minutes from her house when it happened."He looked in my eyes, breathing deeply. "It's okay, if its too hard then we can talk about this another time."
He shook his head at me.
"I was…fighting the battle with my temper, Tanya was on the phone with Charlotte letting her know we were fine and how we were almost home."
"I… must have not been paying attention… Tanya screamed, a truck driver was drifting on our side of the road, I swerved to miss the damn thing, turning into the opposite lane when the driver of the truck decided to be stupid and pull back into his lane, the lane I was driving in. I hit the brakes, trying to turn the car away from the truck but he was coming in pretty fast…Tanya grabbed my shoulder.. I yelled at her. My rage and fear spilling out with my temper. She said she loved me and began praying.."
His eyes were now closed. His breathing was irregular."We hit the truck head on. I was flung out of the car. I could hear Tanya Screaming. I could barely breathe. She… she kept saying my name over and over again." He took another deep breath. "I busted my ankle and my knee, that I was aware of. I physically dragged myself to the car, trying to free her. The car had rolled, part of the truck fell on it, the passenger side was on the ground. My rage took over and I somehow, got her out of the car, I don't remember that part, it's a blur. After I got her out of the car, I called 911 and we sat on the side of the road, waiting for help. She kept telling me she loved me and kept saying the lords prayer over and over again."
"I'm pretty sure her last conscious moments were with me because they couldn't wake her up after that. She was on breathing machines and the like later on. She passed away on a Thursday. Our 3 year anniversary."
"I'm so sorry Jasper." I clung to him tightly, rubbing his back and breathing in his scent to keep me from being hysterical.
"I didn't mean to tell you that story but it explains how hysterical Charlotte was on the phone with me. I got into a fight with my dad. He punched me once and I punched him with my words. I was beyond Pissed off until I crashed into you here. See, Tanya was Charlotte's sister. That night, I was as angry as I was today."
I gasped. Her Sister? He got into a fight with his father?"Why would you fight with your dad?"I was met with his smouldering blue eyes again "Well, two men that have raging tempers and already have a sense of hate.. It just happens.""But, you guys are always good when I'm around."He shook his head. "You Darlin… are like the ice that smothers the fire raging within me. As for Father, he tries not to pick fights when there are women around. My Mama was his ice.."
"Anyways, my temper got worse, the major really got on me for the car and what happened. Mama tried everything she could to keep his demon at bay but she couldn't always protect me. It actually made it worse. He hated that she loved me more than him. There was one night, before she got real sick… she flung herself in my way, it was the first time Father ever struck her. Peter couldn't even hold me back. I really fucked him up. Its way he's so sick now. I beat the living hell out of him that his heart couldn't take the rage his body was feeling for me hitting him and for the remorse and rage he felt inside himself for sticking the one woman he loved.""That leads us to after that incident. I had to go to therapy and take a bunch of pills to control this thing inside me. I stopped taking them about 2 years before I met you." He kissed my forehead. "The first person to meet my rage was that scum" He didn't even have to say his name, I knew. "And, then.. You.. After that I knew, I couldn't do this anymore, fighting on my own wasn't cutting it. I started back on some medication, except I got the strong still in the drug testing stage ones. Remember when you thought I was cheating on you?"
"Yeah I do. You passed out and scared the living hell out of me.""Yeah, it was because of those pills and stress at work. I wasn't taking care of myself. I actually stopped taking the dose I should be taking since then. Except for the other night at the hospital, turns out they don't work either.""So you took pills because of me? You shouldn't get dependent on them" I began to panic. My stupid life is making him turn to drugs.
"It was necessary. I didn't want you to be the victim of my rage ever again. I never wanted you to be the victim in the beginning before that, never ever do I want you to hurt or anything bad because of me honey."
"You said I'm your ice right?""Yes honey, that you are.""Then how about, we just don't part. We seem to cause less when we're together than we ever do apart. Besides, I hate being apart."His smile spread from ear to ear. "Darlin… your reading the exact thought I have every waking moment when I have to be away from you."
His smile fell, and his forehead creased. "I have to tell you this." His blue eyes looked too emotional for my Jasper. He sighed, "At the hospital.. When I was dropping off your discharge papers.." he took a breath. "..Alice Cullen, jumped me.""Jumped you?" What..the.. Hell?
"She jumped up on me, wrapped her legs around my waist, began kissing me and grinding on my body. She caught me off guard and I kissed her back slightly"He kissed her back? What? I felt very jealous and angry.
"I ripped her from my body and she walked off. I don't know why or how, but honestly, that's all that happened."
"You kissed her back? How could you do that?" I snapped at him.
"I don't know, I got lost in it. I don't even understand it myself." he began pulling at his hair again..
"Yeah, well.. Until you do understand, you aren't sleeping with me." I got up from the couch and began walking up the stairs. Jasper didn't bother following me, which was a good thing.
I walked into our bedroom and locked the door, before hopping in bed and sleeping on His side of the bed.