Author's Note: I honestly have no clue what this is, but I got it as a request on tumblr so you can also find it over there. I guess it's kind of angsty? I don't know. Anyway, feel free to follow me on tumblr, my url is heidipoo-xox... And I'm still taking requests so send in what you have and I'll write it for you! Be sure to leave a review and whatever else you like to do, and until next time, stay fabulous!

Just Go

The liquor on his lips was enticing to say the least. There was something about the poison that he enjoyed. The night was clear, but Delirious' mind was oh so cloudy. A sigh escaped his lips as he brought the bottle to them once more. However, a hand on his shoulder startled him, and he turned around to find none other than Vanoss, standing behind him, a small grin etched on his features. "Thought I might find you out here." He smiled.

"Yeah?" Delirious inquired as he turned back around, leaning on the balcony railing for support. Evan knew him well, too well if he were being honest with himself. But the party was getting out of hand, and Delirious didn't like to be around a lot of people for too long; of course he would find comfort in being alone out on the balcony.

"Everything okay?" Evan leaned beside him, thankful that his friend had been able to make it to his party, despite everything. "I'm glad you came." He admitted, and if he were being honest with himself, he felt a bit strange. Under the stars, on the balcony, breath reeking of liquor, the atmosphere felt… Different in a way that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He pushed the thought out of his mind for now though.

Another sigh, "Just thinking."

"About?" He persisted.

The older man shook his head, "Nah, it's okay… It's nothing."

"It's not nothing if it's got you all worked up like this." Evan gave that crooked smile of his as he nudged his best friend. "You know you can talk to me Delirious, right?" He questioned, dark eyes finding Jon's blue ones in the dark of the night.

He nodded, taking another drink of whatever was in the bottle, the thrumming of his heart becoming more prominent with each passing second. Vanoss could read him like the back of his own hand, lying would do him no good, avoiding the question would do him no good. But it was uncomfortable and weird, especially when Evan had her here, in the apartment, and they would go to bed together when everyone left, and wake up together when morning came. And the end of it all, Evan had someone, and Delirious was by himself, alone.

"Can I ask you something?" He finally spoke, hesitation clear in his voice. And he didn't know if it was the alcohol pulsing through his veins as liquid courage, or just sheer curiosity egging him on as the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could take them all back in, but he had to get this off his mind, had to do something about void in his chest. Had to something about the lurching feeling in his stomach whenever he happened to look at Evan, or hear his voice, or come across something that even remotely reminded him of the younger man.

"Go for it." Evan encouraged.

Delirious had to recollect his thoughts before he asked what had been bothering him. "Do you…" He stopped, and looked over at the man beside him. "Do you ever feel like you'll end up alone?" He didn't recognize his own voice as the slur came out. But internally, he felt he already knew the answer that Vanoss was going to give him. Of course he didn't feel alone, or course he wouldn't, because at the end of the day, he could go home to her, find solace in her. That was what killed Jonathan the most.

However, when Evan uttered a single word, "Sometimes."

Jonathan was in shock, "Sometimes?"

"It's hard to explain." He added with a shake of his head. He didn't know how to tell Delirious that he was more lonely now than ever, didn't know how to tell him that he didn't love her, didn't know how to tell him that there was a void; like someone had punched a hole through his chest and left. And he didn't know how to tell him that the only time the void was filled was when he was with him, together. "Is that what's been bothering you?" He asked.

And he nodded, "I feel like that." Jonathan revealed. "Lonely..." He trailed off, fiddling with the now empty bottle in his hands, eyes cast down. What was he doing right now? Why was he doing this? It's not like Evan was going to change everything between them in that moment. But he continued anyway, struggling to speak, guts churning with anxiousness. His breath was stuck in his throat, and he struggled to get his next sentence out. "It only leaves when I'm with you."

Silence filled the air between them, nothing could be heard but their heavy breaths. "Jonathan… I don't know what to say." Evan finally got out. They were drunk and vulnerable and this was stupid. And he could hear her inside the apartment, calling his name over the loud music and he was confused.

"You don't have to say anything." Delirious replied. "I feel better just knowing that you know." In a moment, his lips were at Evan's cheek, and he pressed a small kiss there before pulling away and looking back out to the stars. "You should go to her." He managed to get out, feeling his heart break inside his ribcage, knowing that Evan would never tell him what he wanted to hear, at least not in this particular setting.

"Delirious..."

"Just go."