A/N: Might need a tissue or two for this chapter

Tim actually felt remotely human again after an hour and a half of talking to the Psychologist and letting go of everything he could think of that was bothering him. It was that feeling of normality that made him realize that these things needed to be talked through in order for him to move on and have a chance of regaining a part of himself that had been lost after that day in the warehouse. Just when he thought he'd heard everything he'd needed to hear to work past this; the good doctor dished out another piece of news that shocked Tim down to his very core.

"When I spoke with him before you arrived, Agent Gibbs came across as someone who keeps things very close to the chest; not one for expressing himself openly. Am I right?" Tim sat and gazed at the doctor; the guy had pretty much hit the nail on the head and it amazed him that the Doctor could pinpoint a part of someone's personality just on a brief phone call.

"Yeah. He's not exactly what you would call the sharing type." Tim couldn't keep the slight tinge of bitterness out of his voice. The fact that Gibbs had pretty much ignored him from breakfast on, that morning still cut deep and left him feeling as though he had been a burden.

"And from what I've heard about the situation between the both of you, this has created several instances of misconceptions and entangled them with everything negative you've already been buried under."

Tim had to think about that statement for a moment and found that he had no answer for it. The Doctor wasn't making accusations, he was simply stating the facts as he saw them. Tim just wished he wasn't right on the money every time and left him with a deep sense of disbelief at the fact that the doctor actually knew what he was talking about. The doctor obviously saw the doubt in Tim's eyes an elaborated.

"Want me to tell you how I know this had been going on?"

"Okay."

"Because, Tim. Your boss; okay…" the Dr. Michaels raised his hand to halt Tim's correction "Sorry, former boss; cares more about you than you give him credit for. Don't get me wrong; what he put you through was nothing but hellacious and he was very quick to admit that to me over the phone; but the fact that he called me in the first place; the way he was very quick to lay out his own responsibility in what you've been through and his concern that his way of handling things is working against you; tells me that Leroy Jethro Gibbs cares a hell of a lot about you and the rest of his team."

Tim sat in stunned silence and felt the disbelief and doubt fade into shock. He had no answer and was once again struck dumb at the Doctor's words.

"That surprises you." The simple statement managed to pull Tim out of his stunned silence.

"More like blows me away." Tim's quiet admission drew a small smile out of the Psychologist.

"Why?"

"I already explained most of it." There was no way he wanted to re-hash old ground; especially seeing as he had just been through this recently.

"Because he's treated you like you didn't matter for years."

"Yeah."

"Okay. But didn't you also tell me he's generally a man of his word?" Dr. Michaels pushed the issue knowing that Tim was pretty malleable at the moment and would open up to him easily.

"Well, yeah. But there's been many a time when he's done something, he later claimed he hadn't meant to or didn't realize he'd come across the way he did; mainly with me."

"So, you're still not convinced he cares about you.

"I didn't mean or say that." The last part of the conversation was being played back in Tim's mind as he tried to figure out exactly what he had said to make the doctor see that. Realization finally dawned and Tim's eyes widened with the shock of what he said "I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"He cares. They all care when the chips are down; not before that."

"Ah. Okay. Now I get it. You think that this is temporary and once things get back to as close to normal as they're going to get; the old way of handling things will come back to him and once again, you'll be treated the same way as before and left feeling like you don't matter."

"Yeah, for the most part." Tim hung his head at his small admission. He'd shared with the Doctor, the times when Tim had been left feeling as though he didn't matter as much as the others and had cited recent events as a prime example. Now, he thought back to when Kate had died and the kindness his boss had shown then to both Tony and himself immediately after it had happened. It hadn't taken long for the old Gibbs to resurface much to Tony's relief….and to his disappointment.

"What aren't you telling me? What's really worrying you about Agent Gibbs?"

Tim felt the tears threaten to fall and inhaled sharply to try to keep them at bay. His efforts were in vain as one solitary tear, trailed down his cheek.

"That's it Tim, let it out. Don't let it fester. You've got to clean the wound out completely before you can let let the air in enough to begin to heal it."

Tim stood up and walked over to the window, savoring the fact that he was actually able to look out at the world that he his mind had shrouded. Straightening his shoulders, he spoke from the depths of his heart; each word injected with so much emotion and honesty that even the doctor felt his heart pull.

"I'm always gonna be waiting for this to come back to haunt me; to be thrown back in my face."

"By whom?"

"Gibbs. Ziva" The names were whispered but were loud enough for Dr. Michaels to hear him.

"And Abby?"

"No. From what I understand, Abby doesn't blame me."

"Didn't you tell me that Ziva has stopped blaming you too?"

"The point is she did blame me. She loved Tony and never took the time to tell him how she felt. She doesn't even realize I knew that. But it was written all over her every time Tony was around. In her mind, I had stolen that away from her; He was her only shot at true happiness and I was the one that took that away from her. " There was a hint of anger in Tim's voice; after everything that the doctor had said, he would have thought he'd at least understand.

"But you weren't responsible"

"No. I wasn't. At least not in the way I led everyone to believe. Doesn't change the fact that it's my fault he didn't come out of there alive."

"Tim. We've been through this. Tony's death was not your fault. It's not your place to carry that responsibility around with you."

"Being on a team says differently." Tim had no idea where they were going with this because no matter what the doctor said, he would always hold a flicker of blame that would no doubt come back to bite him in the ass.

"I get that, Tim. Really, I do. But, you have to remember that not being able to save your teammate from an unexpected gunfight does NOT make you responsible. And if I'm to believe everything you told me; then even Tony has told you that, am I right?"

"Yeah."

"I know it's gonna be hard Tim, but you'll need to make an effort to remind yourself at least once every day, that you are not to blame. As a matter of fact; I want you to consider it your homework assignment."

That drew a small smile out of Tim.

"Remember, everyday; In fact, scrap the 'at least once a day', I want you to remind yourself at least 10 different times though out the day. If it helps, stand in front of a mirror and say it out loud ten times, loud and clear so there's no mistake or doubt in what you're hearing yourself say."

Tim's smile grew slightly at the homework assignment and he nodded his head gently.

"I have another assignment for you; I want you to allow yourself to release your genuine emotions on whoever they apply to. Don't put the other person's feelings above your own like you used to do; not until you've managed to pull your own feelings into some semblance of order; you need to regain the understanding of who Tim McGee is. It's most likely that you'll find him to be a different person than who he was and you need to take the time to get to know the new you."

"I'll try. I can't promise anything; but I will try." The promise was quiet but it was all he could offer right now.

"In order to try; you have to break down and actually talk to them, Tim"

"I will."

"All right then. We'll pick this up again on Friday. If you need to talk to me between now and then, just call my cell. The number's on my card. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone no matter of the time. I don't want you to let anything fester anymore. It's not healthy or productive."

"Thank you, Dr. for everything"

"You're quite welcome. I look forward to being able to help you get back on your feet, Tim."

The ride home was once again a quiet one; but this time, the silence was golden.

Ducky was more than relieved to see Timothy's demeanor had changed significantly for the better and where before he'd closely resembled the broken and injured man of two weeks ago; he now looked very much on the mend; radiating determination and maybe even acceptance of the situation, the new opportunities and tasks ahead of him.

"Timothy, I take it your time with Dr. Michaels has helped you a great deal? I must say, I was surprised that your session lasted two hours. Were you able to talk about everything you needed to?"

"Yeah. Ducky. And you're right, it helped. A lot! A hell of a lot." Tim turned his head and looked out as the world passed by. It was as if he was seeing everything with new eyes and he couldn't help but feel awed.

"Good. I am very glad to hear it. Have you formed a plan for your immediate future by any chance? Perhaps drawn up a list of what you'd like to do, people you'd like to talk to?"

"Subtle, Ducky." Tim chuckled and turned his attention back to his friend "I know I have to talk to Abby and Ziva. I promised Dr. Michaels that I would. But, Ducky, I'm not ready to face Ziva right now. And to be honest, I'm not sure when I will be."

"While that is quite understandable, young man, I must remind you that it won't become any easier, simply by putting it off." Ducky was almost as good as the psychologist and his advice was always sound.

"I know. I guess, my biggest concern right now is Abby and Gibbs." Tim said quietly, suddenly no longer afraid to admit exactly how he felt.

"Well, as Jethro and I have already told you; we will respect whatever decision you make with regards to whatever you need to do and whoever you need to speak with. You need to address it and only you will know how to do that comfortably for all involved. However, I must warn you, Timothy, neither Jethro nor I will sit idly by and allow you to do nothing. You do need to continue to forge ahead, young man. That much we will insist upon."

"I know, Ducky and I appreciate it. Really, I do. I just…" Tim trailed off with a feeling of trepidation. He had no idea how to say what was on his mind and didn't want to disappoint the only person who had shown him any kind of empathy from the beginning of this saga.

"Just what, Timothy?"

"I just wonder where all this will lead to."

"Where would you like it to lead?" Ducky didn't want to push Tim to the point that he clammed up but couldn't help but feel that his young friend would be reluctant to offer this information. He tried to push with a leading question; one that would get Tim to feel comfortable about opening up to him.

"I don't think it matters what I want."

"Of course it does. Why on earth would you say such a thing?"

"Sorry, Ducky. Guess Doc's homework assignment to speak my mind, isn't such a great idea after all." His statement was followed by a huff as he turned away and gazed out of the window again. This time though, he stopped seeing the world through clear eyes and felt his mind cloud once again.

"Nonsense, Timothy. You simply took me by surprise. I didn't mean to sound so affronted." Ducky was mortified at what he had said and couldn't help but feel that he's pushed Tim away somehow.

"I really am sorry, it wasn't even meant for you, anyway." Tim said with a tinge of guilt coloring his words.

"No harm dear boy. Are you hungry? You haven't eaten since breakfast and it's high time you ate something."

"Actually, I do feel pretty hungry right now. I feel hungry enough for a good meal though; not just a sandwich." Tim admitted with a small smile.

"Excellent. Do you have any preference on where you would like to eat?" Ducky's heart lifted considerably at this new turn of events.

"Not really. Surprise me?"

"Very well. Shall we sit down and enjoy a meal or would you like to take it to go?"

"Can we sit in Ducky? It'll be nice to be out doing normal stuff again."

Ducky found a nice looking buffet restaurant and parked his Morgan in the small parking lot that adjoined the building. As they settled into booth, Tim felt free of the weight that had been crushing him since Tony's death. Finally, he felt as though could breathe freely without every breath physically hurting under the emotional strain. Whilst he still had things to talk through with the team and still had to find a way to say goodbye to Tony; somehow at this very minute, he felt capable of doing all of it; and coming out on top.

Tim took great pleasure in taking a plate from the buffet line and slowly looking over the choices and choosing foods that he had always enjoyed. He couldn't help but smile at how getting everything off his chest, out of his head and even unburied from his over-burdened soul, had made a huge difference. Not only in how he saw the horrible situation, but also how he saw the hurdles he had yet to clear. Even his future seemed more certain and he was sure that no matter what, he would beat this.

Rounding the 2nd buffet counter, Tim's spirits seemed to lift with every step he took until his plate was full to his satisfaction. He turned to head back to the booth that he currently shared with Ducky.

Look! It's Tim McGee; the Agent that disobeyed his supervisor; made that stupid decision to go into that warehouse without back up and got his partner killed! What the hell does he think he's doin' comin' out in public like this? Look at him, acting like he's done nothing wrong! Doesn't he have any shame? Man, I wish they'd throw the book at him!"

"Quiet, Mark! He'll hear you!"

"I don't give a damn! That guy shouldn't even show his face in public! His ass should be sitting in jail somewhere! Tony was a great guy and he didn't deserve to die like that!"

It took every ounce of inner strength to get Tim quietly and calmly back to his and Ducky's table without stopping. He wanted to say something to the two fellow Agents who he had worked with in cyber crimes many moons ago. who'd spoken out in that way and about him; but could feel himself slowly falling apart. Once back at the table, he set his plate down and pushed it away from him, his appetite had once again abandoned him with the torrid words that he'd heard.

"Timothy? What on earth happened?" Ducky was genuinely alarmed at the swift change in Tim's body language; gone was the confident young man that had stepped out of the psychologist's office and in his place was the trembling, weaker man of just yesterday.

Tim's eyes were misting with unshed tears and his gaze was unfocused as he gazed out at the bleary world outside. Silently, he shook his head, unwilling to talk about it here in public.

"Come, Timothy, let's get out of here. Sitting here not eating when you've obviously been upset by something is not doing you any good at all , dear boy." Ducky stood and grasped Tim under the elbow to pull him up. Docilely, Tim let Ducky help him up from the booth and surprised Ducky by shaking off the M.E.'s gentle hand and walking the long way around the restaurant to the exit. Unbeknown to the M.E. it was to avoid the two agents that Tim had overheard; He didn't want to give them any further cause to run their mouths or say something out of the way to Ducky and so chose avoidance as his means of escape.

Ducky became more and more concerned as he followed Tim out the door and once outside, he struggled to keep up as Tim made a beeline straight for Ducky's car. The M.E. watched as his young friend got in the small car and silently closed the door; his eyes were glued to his lap as he waited for Ducky to get in and drive them home and the look of sheer, abject misery tore through the M.E.. The ride home was as silent as the other trips had been. This time, the silence seemed almost painful and Tim radiated hurt at whatever had happened. It was as if he had just shut down again as his mind tried to rationalize what he'd heard and the fact that Ducky had no idea exactly what had made Tim react like this, made it difficult for him to watch the young man deal with in his own way.

Once back in the safety and security of Ducky's house, Tim silently made his way up to his room and shut the door; he even went as far as to lock it to keep everyone out so he could think. He needed to be alone; needed to own up to the fact that Mark and Susan, the agents who'd been so vocal in the restaurant; were not only right; but they were the epitome of what he'd be walking back into if he went back to work at NCIS. He'd been fooling himself to think otherwise; even for the split second that he had thought it.

Gibbs walked out of the kitchen with coffee in hand when he heard Ducky's Morgan pull up outside. He wouldn't admit the fact that he'd been worried sick about Tim and desperately wanted to know exactly how the appointment had gone. He was disappointed when Tim walked through the front door and made his way upstairs without giving him a second glance; worse was the fact that he heard the lock on the door click signaling the fact that Tim had locked them out. Ducky chose that moment to come in and Gibbs blanched at the lines of worry that were etched across his face.

"What the hell happened, Ducky?" Gibbs demanded more forcefully than he meant.

"Jethro, I do not know. Timothy was in with Dr. Michaels for two hours. When he came out, he seemed like a different young man; like the weight of the world no longer rested on his shoulders. We decided to go to a nearby buffet so that Timothy could finally gain some control in his life; even if it was just lunch." Ducky sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "He was fine until he came back to the table with his food. I just don't know what the turning point was for him."

"Yeah? And?"

"I don't know, Jethro. Have I not just said that? I was not watching Timothy every minute we were there."

"All right, Whattaya suggest we do?"

"I suggest we allow Timothy to work through this in his own way." The stress in Ducky's voice was palpable.

Nu-uh. Seen the way he works through things on his own, Duck. Not givin' him that chance again."

"Jethro, You don't seriously believe he would consider such a thing again?"

"Not taking the chance, Ducky." Gibbs said as he took his cell phone out and made a call.

"Yeah, it's Agent Gibbs… It's important….all right, thank you." He paused slightly as if waiting for someone on the other end of the phone "Yeah…..Tim came home looking like someone ran over his dog….. We're not sure…. Here, talk to Doctor Mallard." Gibbs handed Ducky the phone and walked upstairs to see if he could hear anything amiss with his surrogate son.

Ducky appeared next to Gibbs at the locked bedroom door a short few minutes later and gestured for Gibbs to listen. Sure enough, Tim's cell phone rang immediately and Tim's muffled voice could be heard through the door as he answered it. There had been no crying or sobbing, at least not loud enough that Gibbs had heard; but he held no shadow of doubt that the miserable, hurting young man that had walked through the door had shed a few.

That didn't really matter. What mattered was Tim was talking to someone who could help him deal with what was going on and hopefully, that would keep him grounded and safe. After listening to the rumble of Tim's voice talking on the phone, Gibbs turned and went back downstairs, determined to give the young man not only privacy, but space to breathe, too.

Ducky, apparently agreed with Gibbs' decision and soon joined him in the kitchen where Gibbs was fixing them both a hot drink. They both sat at the table in silence as they thought about the events of the past couple of days; they were soon pulled out of their reverie when Gibbs' phone started to ring.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"Boss." Tim's voice was small and shaky in a way that had Gibbs thinking of a scared child.

"Tim? You okay?"

"Dr. Micheals says I should talk to you about what happened when we stopped for lunch today."

"Whatta you think?" He wanted to give Tim the option to come to him; not because someone thought it was a good idea but because the young man wanted to.

"I think I should talk to you; and Ducky. I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay."

"Boss?"

"Yeah, Tim?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Son."

An hour later found Tim completely talked out and feeling totally exhausted. He glanced up at his two guardians before rubbing his hand over his face.

"Hey, Go on back to bed Tim. We'll make sure those two are dealt with so don't you go worryin' over it. Okay?"

"Yeah, Boss. Thanks. Ducky... Thank you." Tim stood up and walked back to his bedroom; every step seemed to feel heavier and heavier and once he was lying on the bed, he crashed hard. His mind finally stopped whirling long enough that it let him drift off into a restless sleep.

Ducky and Gibbs waited for Tim to leave the room before debating whether or not to call Vance. They both knew that the two agents in question would have to be disciplined for their actions, but they didn't want to cause Tim any more heart ache with the stream of questions that needed to be answered. They decided that they would wait until the opportunity would present itself; confident that it would do so soon; given that Leon was so intent on getting Tim back to the folds of the Agency.

Before he'd gone back to bed, Tim had shocked them both by quietly requesting that they call Abby for him and ask her to dinner or at least for an after dinner talk. He'd said whichever the older two men preferred was fine with him because he just needed to talk to her.

With a lighter heart, Ducky made the call while Jethro sat lost in his thoughts and refreshed grief for everything both of his boys had been through. Ducky waited for Abby to answer.

"Abigail, it's Ducky. Timothy has asked me to call and would like to see you."