Another update?

*People cheer*

…I hope.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. All rights go to JP.

Previously on ShadowDiving:

Oh shit.

Ahead, on a bench, is a woman with blonde hair and brown, almost black eyes. Her skin is pale. Her hair is thinning as though tugged at often, and her eyes seem dead. Her posture is slouched, as if exhaustion has overcome her. She rubs a bony hand across her face, the shadow of a thin wedding ring hitting her ring finger under the lamppost light.

It's difficult to recognize her without an evil smile and a knife, but I manage to anyway.

After all, I've lived with that face for seventeen years.

As I soon as I recognize my mom's face, I duck behind the building corner, breathing heavily from shock.

She could have seen me.

I could have been captured.

But… curiosity killed the bird kid.

I peer back over the edge, just looking at this new version of Mom.

I've never seen her like this – exhausted and defeated. Her clothes are dirty and her hair is down. Usually, her hair is in a clean, tight bun, accompanied by a nice, white lab coat.

Instead, she is wearing a faded, torn, red hoodie and some old, frayed blue jeans, mud-soaked sneakers covering her feet.

In the hand not covering her face is a bottle of pills.

Pills?

I've seen my mother do all sorts of drugs – powders, liquid medicines, shots –

But never pills.

She looks at the yellow bottle with the white cap, no prescription on the outside. She searches it for something. Directions? I don't know.

I am still peering from around the building's edge, hoping she doesn't spot me and capture my messed-up self again.

However, she doesn't look up. She continues to gaze at the bottle, fury crossing her face.

Maybe she has seen me, after all. I seem to always cause her fury.

I am shocked out of my thoughts, though, as my mother sharply throws her arm down.

The bottle of pills collides harshly with the ground, causing the top to fly off and pills to spill out – small, white pills.

"I hate you!" Mom screams at the pills. "I HATE YOU!"

Suddenly, Mom does the unexpected.

She…

My mom is…crying.

She's sobbing.

…

I've seen my mother smile. I've seen her face turn into a scowl. I've seen her bloodthirsty and angry. I've seen her scheming. I've seen her whistling and singing to the radio while cooking mashed potatoes.

…but I've never seen my mother cry.

It's difficult to watch my mother break down so openly. Something stirs inside of me, something foreign and old.

I want… I actually want to comfort her.

I tighten my grip on the brick corner, holding my compulsive body back.

I can't. She doesn't love me. I don't love her. She'll just capture me.

This… this must be bait or something.

She knows I'm here.

I need to run.

…

I haven't moved yet.

Move, feet!

…

I'm stuck, watching this spectacle.

"I'm just waiting for her to end it," I reason. "I'm waiting to see what comes next, what the next part of the plan is."

My eyes dart away from my crying mother as someone new enters the scene. A gangly teenager, who is a little scruffy around the edges. He looks exhausted and skinny – underfed. Homeless? His clothes are torn and dirty. His hair is unkempt, but it can be discerned that it is a light brown.

He sits down next to Mom.

I want to warn him, but I'll only get myself captured.

Besides, my mother only seems to hate me.

"I should go," I tell myself –

What?

No. No way.

No freaking way.

The teenager's face has turned toward me, a scar running along his sharp jaw.

But it's the blue eyes that stand out – wide, tired, and young.

"Ari," I whisper.

He shouldn't be this old. He shouldn't have grown up so much already.

"He shouldn't be an Eraser, either," my conscience replies.

Ari starts talking to my mother.

"Mrs. Westonville," Ari begins, "you know you have to take them."

He begins to scoop up the pills scattered on the sidewalk.

My mom swiftly sits up and glares at Ari.

"No. No. I am done."

She slaps his hand roughly, causing him to spill the pills again.

"You have to, Mrs. Westonville –"

"DO NOT call me anything that has the bastard's name in it, Ari."

Silence.

Ari picks up one pill. "Please, Miss… you have to take them. Or you and I both get punished."

More tears run down my mother's face. Even as she cries, though, her glare is enough to make Ari shrink back against the bench.

She glares at him for a few moments, then her glare fades away, true sorrow overcoming her face.

"I can't, Ari… these pills rob my life away from me. I've lost everything. I can't control what I do. I don't see reality. I overreact to everything. These pills have destroyed the past seven years of my life!" my mom exclaims, burying her head in her hands.

Ari stares for a second, then awkwardly tries to rub her back in a sad attempt at comfort.

"I never even realized…I never realized seven years of my life were robbed from my hands without my consent – because I believed that bastard. I took those damn pills almost religiously. 'You'll be a better mother, Lily.' 'You'll get to keep being a mother, Lily.' 'That cancer will just leave if you take these experimental pills, Lily.' 'Just keep taking them, Lily.' I can't believe I listened to that bastard!"

My mom stomps her foot on some of the pills, pulverizing them into powder.

My mom…my mom had cancer?

I feel like I'm not in my body. I'm outside it, feeling these feelings of shock and sadness without actually confronting them. Like there is some sort of cloudy barrier preventing me from actually comprehending all I'm hearing.

Ari watches my mother, sadness in his eyes. "If you have cancer, you have to take these pills –"

"No, I don't, damn it! Don't you see? I don't have cancer!" she yells, a ferocious anger in her eyes.

"Because you took the pills –"

"NO! I never had cancer!"

Silence falls over them. Mom takes the chance to crush another pill with her foot, pulverizing it to powder.

Ari watches her crush it, wincing as another pill is wasted.

"Why would you take the pills if you didn't…" Ari trails off, not knowing the answer.

My mother looks at him as if he is stupid, but her glare falters at his innocent expression.

"I keep forgetting you are only ten," she says, fingering the edge of her frayed sweatshirt sleeve. She looks away to the distance before resuming talking.

"I've been off these pills for weeks, now. Whoever burned down my house also inadvertently destroyed my pill stash. I didn't have any other ways to obtain them, so I just didn't take them."

Mom looks at her dirty shoes.

"At first, I was panicked about it. I thought I had to take them. Thought I would die without them. And the first week was torture – I know now it was because I was addicted to them. I craved them. But after the first week, I noticed that I wasn't seeing things. Snakes weren't eating me as I walked down the streets. People didn't seem to be out to get me. My son –"

I freeze, as does my mother.

She gulps heavily, a fresh tear trailing down her pale cheek.

"… my son didn't seem to evil anymore. I missed him. I miss him, Ari."

She wipes the single tear away, but three more fall in its place.

It's just an act.

It's just an act.

It's just an act, Fang.

"God damn it! These pills have ripped EVERYTHING from me! I've lost my son – I've lost him for the past seven years! Do you know how much it hurts now? I love him, Ari – I didn't mean to harm him! I didn't want to! I – I –"

A loud, audible intake of breath is heard as she gasps. A small sob escapes.

My mother puts her hand over her mouth and bites the inside of her palm.

Like me.

Ari hugs her shoulders awkwardly, not sure what to do but knowing he has to do something.

"Please, Miss – we'll both be punished if you don't take them –"

"No, Ari, only I'll be in trouble. You'll only be in trouble if your father doesn't resume taking his prescription… not that he has a choice, considering they captured him after they found out. They'll just kill me," Mom whispers out.

Mom and I take a deep breath together.

"It doesn't matter. I don't have anything to lose. I've lost my son, my baby Angel – I lost her before she was even born. That bastard has ruined my life, and now my babies are gone, and I don't know where they are at all!"

My mother wails, and my heart seems to freeze on the spot.

My feet take a step forward.

And before they can make a fatal mistake, I force myself to flee in the opposite direction, launching into the night sky once I'm far enough away.

I hover in front of Max's window, looking in without comprehending what I'm seeing.

I can't sort the hurricane of emotions and thoughts storming inside of me. I'm feeling so many things that I almost feel empty and detached. As if everything around me doesn't make any sense.

I knock on the window.

And then I look at my hand, momentarily not understanding the reason for the action I just did.

Max opens the window, a smile on her face.

I search for a smile to plaster on my face, but it's as if my neurons aren't functioning. I can't force anything onto my face.

I leap in, not looking at Max.

Not really looking at anything.

I notice the smile fall off Max's face, a different look covering it.

Concern?

What exactly is concern? I'm having trouble connecting the word with the emotion, with memories.

"Fang," Max's voice sounds out, and I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I look at it, confused at the simple action.

"Hello," I say.

No emphasis.

No emotion.

Nothing.

A robot could have had more conviction than me.

"Fang – you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Something comes to the front of my brain, consumes my thought process for a second before disappearing.

Pills.

I turn to Max.

"Did you notice your dad take any pills? Before he left?" I ask, more focused but still hazy.

She studies me, but I manage to pick up the tinge of sadness in her eyes at the mention of her father.

"Yeah – why?"

"I need to see them."

More studying.

More blank expressions.

It's as if she understands the urgency, my confliction. She nods, no questions asked, and takes my hand. Gripping it tightly, she guides me downstairs and to the kitchen.

I look at the hand, marveling at the warmth that shoots up my arm and into my chest.

A synapse goes off.

Concern is Max.

Concern is Angel.

Concern is love.

What is love?

I'm left baffled again.

I am aroused from my daydream by Max setting three bottles in front of me.

I walk over to the bottles, examining the labels.

One is prescription aspirin – for arthritis.

Another is a vitamin – C, I believe.

The third has no label. Just directions:

Take once a day, with food.

I open the bottle.

Inside are many, many small white pills.

Like Mom's.

I pick one up, examining it. I bring it closer to my face –

And it hits me.

I hear the frying pan snap, sizzle, and pop as oil boils. The aroma is delicious, and I'm practically watering at the mouth.

"When will this be eatable? I'm starving," I say, gazing lovingly at the contents of the pan.

I hear Angel scamper beside me, nodding eagerly. "My tummy's been growling for hours!"

"Just a moment. I know you don't like salty foods, Angel, but Fang, do you want extra salt on yours? I personally love mine super salty."

I nod. "Sure."

I'm given a smile, and I watch as my father shakes the salt shaker over the fish fry, a new, delicious aroma developing as the heavy white flakes hit the pan –

Oh. My. God.

The visions. The anger. The suddenness of it all.

Oh, God, it makes sense.

I drop the pill, hearing it clink against the floor, and I back away quickly, as if the pill is poisonous.

It might as well be.

Oh, God.

"Fang!" Max whisper-shouts, running to me and gripping my upper arms tightly.

As if I'll keel over.

As lightheaded as I'm feeling now, I might just.

I'm sure my eyes are the size of dinner plates. My jaw is slack with shock, and judging by Max's expression, I bet I've paled several shades.

"Fang, what's wrong? Talk to me!" Max orders, shaking me slightly.

"Oh, God, I've had it wrong. I've had it all wrong," I mutter, sounding mental.

"What have you had all wrong? Tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I never suspected – he was too good –"

"Who?"

"All this time, and I've distorted it so much –"

"What?"

"God, can I never have something normal happen –"

"FANG!"

Wham!

I feel my head whip to the side from impact. I feel my cheek blossoming with a heavy bruise from Max's punch.

I put a hand to my cheek and face her, eyes wide and eyebrow cocked.

Max looks pissed.

"I had to smack you out of your crazy! Can you tell me what the God damn hell is going on before I go crazy too?" Max hisses, hands on her hips, eyes alight with annoyance.

Jeez, she looks cute angry.

Wait – focus, Fang!

I give a small laugh of disbelief.

One: I can't believe Max punched me.

… actually, I can.

Two:

"I just realized that I have totally messed up on my perspective on who was good and who was evil," I say, feeling refreshing normal and focused.

"What the hell does that mean?" Max whisper-snarls.

Oh, whisper-snarls – what a delicate art form.

I take a deep breath.

"It means that my mother was good all along. It's my father who is truly evil –"

I stop.

Oh, no.

"Oh, God – Angel," I breathe out, panic seeping in. "Shit shit shit –"

I start to run towards the door when a hand holds me back.

I whip around and see Max gripping my arm, a determined look on her face.

"I don't completely understand, but I'm tired of being on the sidelines. I'm coming with and helping you sort out this mumbo-jumbo crap for once. Kapeesh?"

I open my mouth to protest, but then it hits me.

I give a wicked smile.

"Come here, trouble," I say, whipping her into my arms.

"Hey –" she starts, but she shuts up as I sprint out of the house and whip into the air.

"I'll explain on the way," I say, speeding through the sky. "But we have to get to Angel as soon as possible."

"Why'd you take me, anyway?" Max asks, looking at me.

I stare at the way the moonlight hits her face for a moment, then answer her with a grin.

"It was faster to just agree than to argue with you."

Smack!

Max slaps my arm, and though I am freaking out on the inside, I can't help but laugh.

"Jerk," she mutters.

I manage to shorten down my travel time from half an hour to twenty minutes (and that's with heavy passenger in tow – don't tell Max that. The heavy bit, I mean). Coming to a rather rough stop, I drop Max to her feet and sprint inside, sweat pouring down my face (that's attractive, I know).

I burst into the door.

I notice the stillness, first.

I look to the ground and spot my father's sleeping bag. Inside of it is a bundle, turned on its side.

That traitorous jerk –

Just as I flip the covers back, I stop my oncoming fist.

I would have hit dirt.

Why?

Because my father isn't there.

A bundle of clothes is.

Shit.

I sprint to Angel and I's room, noticing Max enter the house finally.

I slam the straw door down, kicking it off its feeble hinges.

He didn't even try for her.

No bundle lies in her bed.

No fake set-up.

Just an empty, untouched hammock.

However, there is a single note there.

Written on the back of my FREEDOM bird sketch.

Angel and I are leaving for a safer location until you figure things out. We'll come back in a few days.

Love,

Dad

"No!" I scream, tearing the letter to shreds.

Max runs into the room.

I fall onto the dirt floor, the torn letter bits around me and in my shaking fingers.

"No," I breathe out, shaking. "Not again."

"Fang," Max whispers out, her eyes wide with concern.

"She's gone, Max," I whisper out, my voice pathetically weak. "He took her."

Max doesn't hesitate in her next action.

In a second I find myself surrounded by strong arms. A hand pushes my head into a hard, comforting shoulder, its fingers stroking the back of my head.

I don't break down. I just let it happen, reveling in the comfort that someone is still there. Someone still cares.

Love.

The synapse connects and I understand.

Love is Max.

Love is Angel.

I lift my head from Max's shoulder and stare into her eyes, only a few centimeters away from mine. Chocolaty brown swirls beautifully in front of me, and I find myself short of breath.

Before I lose my courage, I bring my hands to either side of her face and kiss her fiercely.

I'm sure I'm too rough and too strong, but it only lasts a few moments before we both need air, both out cheeks flushed.

Max gazes at me, a light in her eyes.

"We'll get Angel back, Fang," she says strongly.

I look into her eyes, then gaze into the distance.

"We have to, Max. We have to."

And… THAT'S THE END OF CHAPTER 37!

Wooo!

I feel so happy to have this written!

Funny note of the chapter: In italics, the line 'Take once a day, with food' that's on the pill bottle almost was published as "Take once a day, with foot."

This chapter is dedicated to the beautiful song … well, I don't know the title, but on Youtube, it's called Evanescence – Is this the End? by Evanescence.

Tell me your thoughts, your feelings.

R&R?