Hi guys. New York City was amazing. And as expected, Mariska and Chris were hot. And awesome. I had a lovely time with my friends for those two weeks and was having so much fun that I didn't update. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long though so…. here ya go!
Olivia lies on her back, staring up at the patterns on the ceiling. She's slightly hypnotized, the combination of the bright hospital lights and the strong epidural both impacting her vision and mental state.
"I hate hospitals," she whispers, slightly dazed.
She winces, a sudden sharp pain attacking her body as she experiences yet another contraction.
"Ahhh, shit," she gasps.
"You doin' alright?" Elliot asks in concern. "Want more drugs? I'll call for the nurse-"
"No," Olivia grunts, pushing through the pain. "I've had my limit already. I can barely feel from the waist down. I'm fine."
Elliot walks to the side of her hospital bed and caresses the side of her face.
"You're doing so well," he tells her, his tone soft.
"How are we doing?" the female doctor says, walking into the bright room with a nurse by her side.
"I think she's close, doc?" Elliot responds, looking down at Olivia.
The doctor pulls a stool out and places it at the foot of the bed. She sits on the stool and places her gloved hands between Olivia's legs, spreading them further apart.
"You could be right, Dad…looks like we're finally approaching ten centimeters," the doctor informs them. "Jessica, inform the other nurses please," she tells her aide.
The doctor faces Elliot and smiles as the nurse quickly exits the room.
"You might be in the wrong profession," she jokes.
Elliot forces a fake laugh before staring back down at Olivia, looking into her anxious eyes.
"Ya ready, babe?" he asks with a small smirk on his face.
Though nervous for her and the baby, Elliot presents a happy face, wanting Olivia to feel comfortable as possible. Olivia nods her head before additional nurses enter the room. A couple minutes go by and Olivia hears them scrambling around the room as she focuses on her breathing.
"Okay, Olivia, I want you to give me one big push," the doctor instructs her.
Olivia inhales deeply before using all of her energy to perform her first push.
"Aaahhh," she yells as she feels the pressure.
Elliot walks closer to her and Olivia immediately grabs his hand, clutching it tightly. Elliot's eyes widen, her strength taking him by surprise.
"You're doing good," Elliot tells her as she pushes again.
Olivia pauses, her breathing labored as she attempts to catch her breath.
"Olivia, I'm sorry, hun, but you can't stop now. You're close… I need you to keep pushing for me," the doctor instructs her.
Olivia takes in another deep breath and squeezes Elliot's hand once again as she pushes through.
Elliot looks down and his fingers are beet red as Olivia's grip remains tight.
"You can do it, babe," he soothes while ignoring the numbing of his fingers.
"Aaaaaaahhh," Olivia yells out, feeling greater pressure.
Olivia is determined, each push stronger than the last as she continues.
"I see the head. Keep pushing, Olivia," the doctor says. "You're doing awesome."
Olivia leaves no room for another break as she pushes through.
"Great," the doctor tells her. "One more push… Give me your biggest push."
Elliot's fingers throb as Olivia increases the pressure on his hand even more, for the final time.
Olivia quickly feels relief and the pressure between her legs departs. Her eyes are squeezed tight as she pants in exhaustion. She sees nothing but darkness, but guesses that her child must be out of her and in the arms of the doctor after feeling the release.
She slowly opens her eyes after hearing no noise from the baby to see the doctor sticking a syringe down his throat, suctioning the fluids to clear his airways.
Finally, she hears his voice. The baby boy shakes in the arms of the doctor, crying as he's placed on the table. Olivia peeks over at the table and sees her child. He's red, covered with fluids. She doesn't notice Elliot's hand on her as he caresses her face. She's too distracted, amazed by the life that has just come out of her.
She continues to watch their child, tears gathering in her eyes as she listens to him cry. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens as the baby boy who is now wrapped in a white cloth is brought over to her.
She ignores her exhaustion and sits up, accepting the baby boy in her arms as the doctor slowly lowers him onto her chest.
"Meet your son, Olivia," the doctor kindly tells her.
Olivia wraps her hands and arms around him, gently embracing him. Elliot sees a tear escape from her left eye and uses his thumb to wipe it away.
"This is our son," Elliot whispers.
It seems the sound of Elliot's voice calms the baby as his cries become faint.
Olivia smiles, unable to stop more tears from falling as she feels the weight of the baby in her arms.
"He's so beautiful, Elliot," she sobs.
"He is," Elliot agrees. "I knew he would be."
Olivia nods her head before looking back down at the child in her arms.
"He looks just like you," she tells him, her voice cracking as she speaks.
"I know, I can see that… poor thing," Elliot jokes.
Elliot watches Olivia as she laughs a bit with tears still in her throat. There is nothing more beautiful to him than Olivia's smile as she holds their son.
"Decided on a name?" they hear one of the nurses ask.
One week later
"Where's James?" Elliot asks while removing his jacket.
"Shhhh." Olivia's voice is soft. "He's in the bedroom. It took me forever to put him to sleep."
Elliot nods his head, using caution as he walks light on his feet, and over to the sofa where Olivia is sitting.
"Rough day?" he whispers to her. "Can I get you anything?"
Olivia shakes her head before cocking it to the bedroom.
"The only thing I'm interested in is sleep," she responds.
Elliot holds his hand out to her and waits for her to accept it.
"I'm pretty beat too. Let's go get some rest," he offers.
Olivia takes his hand and barely uses any of her own energy as Elliot does most of the work, pulling her up from the sofa.
He takes her left hand, clasping his fingers with hers as they walk slowly and quietly to the bedroom. Elliot guides her to the bed before moving toward the crib.
He turns to see a stern expression on Olivia's face as she first gives him a nonverbal warning. He continues tip toeing to the crib and bends over to see his son.
"Elliot, please don't wake him," Olivia pleads quietly from the bed. "I need sleep."
"I won't," Elliot whispers. "I just wanna look at him. He's so beautiful…he's an angel."
Elliot tenses as a tiny cry escapes James' soft lips. He remains still until he hears absolute silence. He looks down to see James calm and resting again. He's unable to hide his remorse as he stares back over at Olivia, tightening his lips.
"I told you, Elliot," Olivia whispers. "He wakes easily…and once he wakes, it's hell getting him back to sleep."
Elliot nods his head and tip toes back over to the bed. The mattress dips as he slides in, wrapping one arm around Olivia's waist as he lays his head on his pillow.
Olivia feels his warm breath on her ear as he whispers to her.
"How much sleep have you guys gotten today?"
"Barely any," Olivia whispers. "He's an active baby. Apparently sleeping isn't his cup of tea."
Olivia turns to face him and Elliot takes in her exhausted state. Her hair is a mess and Elliot can see the bags under her eyes, even in the dark.
"I'll take a couple days off. You need your rest. I'll take care of James," Elliot offers.
Olivia can't help but to giggle at Elliot's suggestion.
"You're gonna take care of James? Are you sure?" she asks.
"Yeah. And what's with the giggling? You don't think I can?" Elliot asks her.
Olivia shrugs her shoulders and smiles.
"No, I believe in you. But it's a lot of work, Elliot. When's the last time you took care of a baby fulltime?" Olivia asks. "And a couple hours don't count."
"Ya got me there," Elliot says.
For minutes the room is silent as they rest, both staring over at the crib. Olivia suddenly breaks the silence, whispering to Elliot as she speaks.
"You both saved my life, Elliot," she tells him.
Elliot faces her, slightly confused and taken back by her statement.
"How?" he asks as he gently rubs her shoulder.
"You rescued me… and I don't think I ever would have stopped had I not been pregnant. I'd probably be an addict by now. James changed my life," Olivia whispers. "He'll probably never know that, but he did."
Elliot nods and pats her on the shoulder.
"We both love you. James just doesn't realize it yet. Poor kid, he has no idea how lucky he is," Elliot says, complimenting her. "Now get some rest, babe."
One Week Later
Pattie's Diner
"You kids not hungry today?" Elliot says, staring at his twins who are sitting across from him.
"I don't know about her, but I am," Dickie says as he stuffs half of a pancake into his mouth.
"That 'a boy," his father tells him.
Elliot stares over at Elizabeth who seems troubled as she stares in front of her, at nothing in particular.
"Lizzie, you doing alright over there?" Elliot asks her.
Elizabeth shakes her head and picks her fork back up.
"I'm fine, I'm just thinking," she says as she plays with the food on her plate with her fork.
"Watcha thinking about?" Elliot asks his daughter. "You can tell me anything."
Elizabeth parts her lips to speak, but hesitates, staring back over at her brother.
"I dunno…" she says, drifting off.
"Lizzie, tell me," Elliot insists. "If something's bothering you, I wanna know about it."
Elliot sees the uncertainty on Elizabeth's face and begins guessing what the issue is, encouraging her to talk about it.
"Is it about me? You know I love you kids, don't you? I want to be in your lives as much as possible. Anytime you need me just call-"
Elizabeth shakes her head.
"It's not that," she says, interrupting him.
Elliot nods his head once and looks back at her face, in attempt to read her.
"Is this about James? Your new brother?" Elliot asks. "I know this adjustment is difficult for you kids. You can ask me anything you want… And whenever you're ready to meet him, just tell me. I don't wanna rush ya."
"I do want to meet him, it's just that…" Elizabeth whispers, breaking eye contact as she turns away from her father.
"Just what?" Elliot asks in a soft tone.
Elizabeth shrugs her shoulders and speaks slowly, dragging her words out.
"Weeeell… it's just thaaaat… I overheard Mom talking to one of her girlfriends over the phone. Is it true, Dad? Is James not your son?"
Elliot nearly chokes on his food. He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head in disbelief. He's taken back by his daughter's question and stammers his words as he speaks.
"Wh- what? Did Kathy- I mean…D- did your mom say that? Is that what you heard her say?" Elliot asks with panic in his voice.
"She didn't exactly say that," Elizabeth admits. "But I think she has her doubts."
Elliot turns to face Dickie as he nods his head in agreement with his sister.
"We heard that Olivia was raped? Is that true, Dad?" Elizabeth asks.
Elliot can't hide his anxiety and is clearly unprepared for this conversation.
"Uh… yeah, Lizzie, that's true. Did you hear that from your mother?"
The twins both shrug their shoulders, ignoring their father's question completely.
"Well, if she was raped, then how do we know whose baby it really is? There's no proof that he's my brother," Dickie argues, with a bit of annoyance in his voice.
Elliot shakes his head again, looking around the diner to ensure that they aren't bringing attention to the table.
"Kids, this isn't the right place to talk about this," Elliot says quietly. "And you have to understand that your mother is very upset with me right now. She says things, but she doesn't mean it. That's just gossip."
"So it's not true?" Elizabeth asks. "You're sure James is yours…that- that he's our brother?"
Elliot nods his head and looks at them both while he speaks.
"Listen, kids, a lot of things happened that you don't understand," Elliot begins.
"We're not kids," Dickie says, sighing.
Elliot doesn't respond to his remark and continues speaking.
" And maybe you'll understand more of what took place when you're older, but James is my son. Your mother was just talking over the phone out of anger… and she has the right to be angry. But don't think for a second that James isn't my son. Olivia and I have taken care of it. We know James is mine."
"So it's true then…" Dickie interjects. "You did have your doubts. Is that because Olivia and that other man had sex?"
Elliot can't help but to immediately raise his voice, angered by Dickie's response.
"Dickie, don't you talk like that! It was rape, not sex!" Elliot says, raising his voice and pointing his finger at his son.
"I've taught you well enough where you should know the difference. Olivia was hurt…. Badly. And I don't want you kids to ever discuss this to anyone ever again, especially in front of Olivia! Do you hear me?" Elliot orders.
Elizabeth and Dickie go silent, realizing how upset they have made their father. Elizabeth swallows hard as she looks at her father's fiery red cheeks. Elliot sees the guilt on their faces and takes a deep breath before quickly apologizing for losing his temper.
"Sorry, kids. I'm the one that said that you could tell me anything. I forget sometimes that you guys are young adults and that some of your questions will be tough ones. I didn't mean to snap, but what Olivia went through was very serious. I just don't want to see her hurt, and I don't want those rumors getting around," Elliot says in a calmer tone. "I would hate for you two to think that our next get together will be anything like this. This is our time together and I want you guys to have a good time."
Elizabeth nods her head before reaching across the table and lightly touching her father's hand.
"I love you, Dad. And I'm sorry that Olivia got hurt. I didn't mean to upset you," she tells him.
Elliot forces a smile onto his face and pats her hand back.
"It's okay, hun. Just… be careful about who you speak to, okay? I wouldn't want your mother's speculation getting back to Olivia. Olivia is a good woman, and doesn't deserve that. I don't want her thinking about the man that hurt her."
"I know," Elizabeth agrees. "And I like Olivia too, Dad. I was just wondering."
Elliot raises his hand for the check and can't resist still being slightly furious at the fact that Kathy had been speculating about James and talking to another person about him. His cheeks are still red and this doesn't go unnoticed by his kids.
"Don't tell Mom I told you that, Dad," Elizabeth pleads. "I wasn't supposed to know. I was listening in."
Elliot thinks of methods as he tries to find a way to contain a rumor without causing trouble for his daughter. He never would have guessed that he would be more furious with Kathy than she is with him. He ends their brunch early, dropping money on the table as he cocks his head in the direction of the diner entrance.
"Let's go, guys. Maybe we'll stop for some ice cream or something on the way home."
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