July 4th 2010

'Come on, Dean, we're going to be late!' Lisa scolded, as Dean frantically looked for his jacket. He could have sworn he'd left it on the banister when he'd gotten in from work, but it wasn't there now, and after searching high and low, he still couldn't find it. 'It's July. You don't need your coat.'

'We're gonna miss the fireworks!' Ben moaned from the front door, his hand holding James' as the boy watched Dean look all over for his coat.

'It's not the coat, Lis, it's what's in it.' Dean grumbled, and she rolled her eyes.

'We'll find it when we get back. You've probably left it in the truck.' She said, picking up her car keys. 'Now come on, you'll be fine without it.' Dean paused, looking around the room once more, deciding with a heavy heart that he could make do without the coat. He trudged after the rest of the family, shutting the front door behind him. Lisa opened the car and the boys climbed into the back, James dutifully taking his spot on his booster seat. He hated the damn thing, and Dean never made him use it in the truck, but Lisa was insistent on safety in the car.

A car crash was the least of Dean's worries.

They drove through town quickly, seeing the rest of the families walking along, a lot of the kids holding sparklers and making noises of excitement. Dean could practically feel Ben vibrating in the back seat, but James kept his eyes focused out of the window, solemn until the end. Ever since his birthday, he'd been quieter, and no amount of coaxing would bring him out of his shell. He was still doing well at school, although he'd had one incident of fighting with a boy a few grades above him, who'd mocked his mom. Dean had done what was expected of him and punished James, grounding him for a week and taking away his games console, but secretly he'd been proud that the kid had floored a boy several years older and a damn sight heavier than him.

God forbid Lisa catch him praising him for it though.

She'd taken to making more of a fuss of James, encouraging him a bit more and Dean couldn't be more grateful for her help. There was no doubting James was damaged in some way; and what child wouldn't be after all he'd seen and suffered. He was still having nightmares, but more often than not, Dean would wait until Lisa was asleep, creep into the boy's room and sleep beside him, keeping the nightmares away. Once or twice, James had gone to Ben for comfort instead of him. Ben genuinely didn't seem to mind; in fact, Dean was astounded at the kindness he showed the younger boy. He'd given him his old bike, and was always getting him to come out and play.

But James was still suffering. Dean heard him praying at night, and at the start, he'd been begging for his father to pay attention, to come see him, anything. But lately his prayers had been full of hatred and blame. He didn't call him "Dad" any more. It was Castiel. Not even the familiar nickname they had all called him by.

More than once, Dean had tried to call the angel. But after not receiving any response, he'd given up, realising that Cas had meant what he said. James was his now, his responsibility. Cas wasn't coming back. Maybe it was that his resurrection had put him to default settings, or maybe it was too painful to see the boy that reminded him of his mother; although Dean didn't think it was that. He saw Alex in James' face every day and if anything it gave him comfort.

She was never truly gone as long as James lived on.

'Hey kiddo.' James looked over at him, raising his eyebrows in anticipation of the question. Dean smiled. 'You excited for the fireworks.' The boy nodded back, and returned to looking out of the window. Ben shook his head.

'You'll love it when you see them. You seen fireworks before?' James shook his head, and Ben practically squealed. 'Oh man. I love fireworks.'

'Pyro.' Dean muttered, earning himself a slap on the knee from Lisa, who smiled good naturedly. He grinned back, and unhooked his seatbelt as they pulled up into the car park of the community centre where the yearly fourth of July festival took place. He climbed out of the car as Lisa turned the engine off, and opened the back door for Ben to jump out. Lisa let James out his side, and his slipped his hand into hers as she offered it. The four of them made their way to the field. Ben's eyes lit up, and Dean had to hold his shoulder to prevent him running off when he saw the rides and stalls.

Sammy, you'd have loved this. The former hunter smiled wryly at his own thought, letting Ben go. Ben took off in the direction of his friends, who were gathered by the Ferris Wheel. Lisa shouted at him to stay close, but Dean knew there was no chance of that happening. He scanned the crowd, wondering if he should be worried about any imminent threats, his body tense, until James took his hand. The kid stood between them, looking around at the field and the hundreds of people and his fingers tightened around both their hands. Lisa shared a look with Dean.

'You wanna go check out some of the rides, kiddo?' Dean asked, and James shook his head. 'Okay. Well, I am in the mood for some food.'

'You're always in the mood for food,' Lisa joked, earning a small smile from James. 'But I spy a pie stand.'

'Pie. That sounds wholly American.' Dean bent down, picking James up. The boy didn't protest, and leant his head on Dean's shoulder, his hand looping around his shoulder to grip the lapel of his shirt. Lisa slipped around the other side, her arm hooking around Dean's waist, and they headed for the food stalls. James didn't speak, watching everything around him, his head moving to watch Ben with his friends. Dean caught the movement. 'What ya looking at?'

'Just keeping an eye on Ben.' The boy replied. 'It's dangerous.'

Dean frowned. 'Dangerous?'

'The boy he's with has firecrackers. Ben's gonna burn his hand.' The statement was so simply said that it took Dean a moment to pick up on it.

'I'm sure he'll be fine.' Lisa said, although the concern in her eyes belied her words. It wasn't the first time James had said something like this. 'Ben's sensible.'

'I know.' James replied. 'But that boy is stupid. He's gonna throw them.'

Dean stopped and turned, looking over at Ben with his friends. Lisa's grip on him tightened. 'Do you think we should call him back?' She asked, and Dean considered it for a moment. James sat up straight on his hip, a frown on his little face.

'I'm sure he'll be fine, Lis. James is just a worrier is all.' He smiled, turning back in the direction they were going. The boy's words were playing on his mind, even as James fell quiet again, returning to resting his head on Dean's shoulder. 'Let's get some food.'

They waited in queue for the pie stand, and Dean had to put James down whilst he paid for their food. He didn't move away from them, trying to keep physical contact with one of them at all times, his eyes cast down to the ground. When one of Dean's work friends came over, greeting them warmly, he hid behind Lisa's legs, trying not to be noticed.

'Hey, Dean, Lisa.' Sid was a tall man with a big grin, and he spotted James immediately. 'Oh, hey James.' He bent down. 'You excited for the fireworks.'

James tried to hide further, and Lisa reached around for his hand, bending down to him. 'Sweetie, what's wrong?'

'I'm worried about Ben.' The boy replied in a whisper.

'Ben's gonna be fine, honey. Don't worry so much.' She ran a hand down his cheek. Dean was chatting to Sid, and James looked back over his shoulder. 'Come on. Let's eat some pie and go have a look at the stalls. I bet Dean can win a prize for you.'

'Yeah, your dad could hit that easy. He's good at darts when we go to the bar.' Sid interjected, and Dean smirked.

'I reckon I could win you something.' He knelt down on one knee, on James' level. 'Come on. I bet you could hit them targets better than you could.' He remembered watching James practice with the gun Bobby had given him. If he had his way, toy stall targets would be the only thing he'd ever have to shoot again.

'Okay, Dad.' James replied, and Dean stood up. He looked over at Lisa, holding out the bag with the pie slices in it, and she took it, nodding. They bid farewell to Sid, and headed over to one of the stalls with the fake rifles.

'Oh, hey, look, James. They have remote controlled cars.' Lisa pointed out, and James followed her gaze to the stall. They did have remote control cars, but they were the sporty kind. He didn't really like the sporty cars.

'They're not as cool as Baby.' He said quietly and Dean sighed.

'Nope. But we'll try win one anyway.' He handed over some money to the stall guy and James climbed up onto a little stool, taking the oversized rifle in his hands. Dean did the same, aiming and firing quickly. He hit all the targets but one, and scowled at it. 'I'm outta practice.' He looked down at James. 'Your go.' James hefted the gun up, pointed it at the targets and fired. One by one the targets fell and Dean whooped triumphantly. 'That's my boy!' He grinned, and James returned the smile. He ruffled the kid's hair and took the toy car from the vendor, handing it over to James, who inspected it.

'I'll give this to Ben. It'll cheer him up.' James said, turning away, clutching his prize. Dean raised an eyebrow at Lisa, who shrugged.

An announcement came over the loud speakers that the fireworks were about to start, and the three followed the crowd down to the bottom of the field by the lake. They found a spot on the grass and sat down, Lisa leaning up against Dean as James settled himself in between the two of them, placing the car on the floor. Families surrounded them, and Dean looked over, giving Lisa a quick peck on the lips. The announcer started to rev up the crowds, and then the fireworks started.

James jumped at the first loud bang, and scooted closer to Dean, clutching his leg. The older Winchester put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him, but before long, James was engrossed in the colours, the noises not bothering him. Everyone "oooed" and "aahhhed" at the display, and kids ran in between them with sparklers.

Dean watched, remembering the fourth of July celebrations he used to try and do for his siblings. Sam loved fireworks. Alex liked burning things, which was no surprise, so she enjoyed lighting them more than the actual fireworks. He remembered that one time, the memory he'd revisited in Heaven, when they'd burned down the field. Dad had never let them do anything that remotely fun, and he always had a stern word to say when Dean had sneaked them off for fireworks somewhere.

When the display finished, he and Lisa stayed sat where they were, as James picked at the grass. 'This is nice.' Lisa said, smiling. Dean nodded, his hand making small circles on her back.

'Nice and normal.' Dean muttered, a faint grin on his lips.

A cry from behind them made them jump and both adults turned. James sighed heavily. 'Ms Braeden! Ms Braeden!' Lisa climbed to her feet, fear painted on her features. 'Ben hurt himself.' Dean's head snapped to James, who looked up at him with those haunting blue eyes, full of knowing.

'What happened?' Lisa demanded.

The kid that had called her skidded to halt, pointing back in the direction he'd come from. 'Billy Waters. He threw some firecrackers and Ben accidentally caught them. He's burned his hand.' Lisa glanced back at Dean, then took off running. Dean scooped James and the toy car up, following.

'How did you know?' He questioned James, who shrugged.

'I just did.'

That didn't answer any of Dean's questions. He frowned as he followed Lisa, wondering if this came from Sam, Alex or Cas. Sam had those freaky ESP visions years ago, a result of the demon blood, and James did have demon blood in him. Which just concerned him all the more. But he had no time to investigate it now. He caught up with Lisa, who'd located Ben and was sat with him.

The boy was cradling his hand, sat just in front of where Billy Waters' mom was giving him the public dressing down of a lifetime. Lisa was checking Ben's hand, but from what Dean could see, it wasn't so bad. Sure, it was gonna hurt like a bitch, but he still had a hand, so that was a good thing. 'It hurts, mom. I didn't mean to catch it.'

'Ssshh, I know, sweetie. We'll get you home and get this dressed okay?'

'I missed the fireworks.' Ben sulked. James tapped Dean's shoulder, and Dean let him down. The six year old trotted over to Ben, holding out the toy car.

'I won this for you, Ben.'

Ben looked at the car, a watery smile on his face. Lisa smiled up at Dean. 'That's awesome, James. Can you look after it for me until we get home? My hand kinda hurts.'

'I'm sorry.' James said slowly, backing away. Ben's face fell.

'It wasn't your fault.' The other boy said. 'I shouldn't have tried to catch them.' He stopped cradling his hand, reaching out his uninjured appendage to grasp James' coat. 'You're the bestest little brother, ever, you know that?' Dean's breath hitched in his throat, as Lisa turned her face away, tears shining in her eyes. James smiled, a real genuine smile, and moved closer.

'You're an awesome brother too, Ben.' He whispered quietly.

Lisa pulled Ben up, looking back to Dean. 'I think we should get these boys home.'

'Good idea.' Dean said, picking James up once more. He ran a hand through the kid's hair. 'You okay, kiddo?'

'I'm fine, Dad.' Dean frowned. No one could exactly hear what he was saying, but it seemed calling him "Dad" had become a habit for the child. He lowered his voice, keeping his mouth close to James' ear.

'You know you don't always have to call me that, right? If it's weird for you.'

James pulled back, looking at him with sincere eyes, eyes that looked far too old to belong to a six year old. 'But you are.' He said, dropping his head back to Dean's shoulder. Dean's hand clasped the back of his head tightly, holding him close. Lisa watched them, her arm around Ben's shoulders. 'I don't care about him. You're my dad.' The words were so quiet, Dean wasn't even sure if he'd heard him right.

All the way home, he cursed Cas for doing this to his son.

The house was silent, and Lisa was sleeping peacefully next to him. He couldn't sleep. The whiskey hadn't helped, and he was restless. The night's events were playing on his mind; James' weird vision, and his quiet declaration that he considered Dean to be his dad. Maybe the latter he could deal with, but the visions were too much. Lisa had said it wasn't the first time James had said something and it had happened.

He knew he'd be listening to him in future.

It sucked that he had no one to talk to about this. Lisa knew but she didn't want to acknowledge the weirdness that was his previous life. Ben remained ignorant, although when James had quietly admitted to him that he knew it was going to happen, the boy had told his mom that she should have listened to him. For everything weird going on, Ben trusted everything the younger boy said. The bandage wrapped around his hand just screamed that louder.

A creak sounded somewhere in the house, and Dean bolted upright. Lisa snorted in her sleep and rolled over, further away from him. He smiled at the cuteness of it, then slipped from the bed, wondering if he should grab his gun. Another creak echoed through the open bedroom door, and he pushed that thought away, moving slowly and quietly out of the room, glancing back to Lisa briefly.

Footsteps came down the hallway, and he followed the noise to Ben's room, carefully looking around the door frame. Ben was asleep in bed, his injured hand laid flat beside him. James was kneeling beside it, his hand reaching out to ghost over the injury. Dean watched, wondering what the hell the kid was doing in the middle of the night. James didn't touch the wound, he simply held his hand there.

'I can't take it away.' He whispered. 'They'll know if I do. But I can stop it hurting.'

A light emanated from his hand, and Dean swallowed hard, knowing he'd seen that before.

What the fuck else was James not telling him?

He leant forward a little bit, and the door frame groaned under his weight. James' head snapped round, and his eyes widened at the sight of the older man in the doorway.

'Dad.' He said, the light disappearing from his hand as he jumped to his feet. 'I-I wasn't.'

Dean held up a hand, placing one finger over his lips. James nodded, and Dean motioned for him to follow. They went to James' room and shut the door. Dean sank onto the boy's bed, looking around at the freshly decorated room. He had yellow walls and a red border around the edges, with Lightening McQueen on everything. James was completely obsessed with Cars.

How could a kid who was obsessed with a Disney movie be doing all these things?

'I'm sorry.' James whimpered, standing in front of him. Dean reached out, pulling him close.

'How long have you been able to do that?' He asked quietly.

'I don't know. Not long.'

'Anything else you can do besides that and seeing the future?'

'I don't see the future.' James insisted, pulling away. 'I just know things. I don't know how. And there isn't anything else.' He looked down at the floor. 'Castiel said I would be able to do things. Because I'm special.' Dean grimaced, his hand finding James' arm and pulling him into his lap.

'You are special, James. Don't ever doubt that. But it's not because you can do these things.' He sighed. 'You need to tell me about it though, kiddo. Secrets are dangerous.'

'Yes, Dad.'

The title brought a familiar lump to his throat. 'James...you know I'm not really your dad right?' The kid didn't answer straight away, but Dean could feel him trembling.

'You're a better dad than him.' He finally replied, and Dean held him closer. 'Do you not want to be my dad?' If Dean held him any tighter, he'd probably break something.

'Of course I do. You just...you have to remember that...if...'

'He's not coming back.' James said, a finality to his answer that chilled Dean to the bone. 'You left, but I knew you was coming back. That's why I was okay. But he's not coming back. And mom isn't coming back.' He sniffled a little into Dean's t-shirt. 'You won't ever leave me. You keep me safe and you love me. And you do all the things Dad's are supposed to do. So you're my dad.'

Oh, if only it were that simple. Dean closed his eyes as he rested his cheek on James' head. 'If it's what you want, kiddo.'

'It is. I want you to be my dad. And I want to stay here with Lisa and Ben. Because Ben's my brother. Like you and Uncle Sammy.'

He felt like his heart was going to break. James looked up at him, those bright blue eyes practically burning into him. Even if he wanted Dean to be his dad, those damn eyes would always remind him who he really belonged to.

'We're gonna be here forever, right Dad?'

Dean swallowed, unsure whether to answer.

August 2010

He'd pulled the tarp off of Baby and checked her over. It felt good to lay eyes on her again. Lisa and Ben had gone away for a couple of days, some summer school trip or something, and Dean had told James they were driving over to Sioux Falls to visit Bobby. The boy had practically shrieked with excitement, and it was the most they'd gotten out of him for two months. He'd packed his backpack up, complete with some schoolwork to show his grandpa when they got there.

It had been a difficult decision to make. Dean had called Bobby and asked if they could visit for a couple of days, and that there was to be no mention of hunting or the life whilst they were there. Bobby, thankfully, had understood, mostly because he was eager to see them. So he'd unpacked the Impala, intending on making it a little more comfortable for them. The truck was all well and good, but the Impala was comfortable. And there was no way in hell he was gonna drive Lisa's Prius.

It was powder blue.

He shuddered at the thought.

James had been in the car before he could say boo, and he grabbed his coat from the house, slipping it on. He had left it in the truck on July the fourth, just as Lisa had said, and he was grateful when he found it. His hand went to the inside pocket and the worn sheet of paper in there, drawing some comfort from it, but not reading it. He didn't need to. He knew practically every word off by heart.

'Come on, Dad!' James yelled, and Dean smiled, climbing into the driver's seat.

'You sure you don't want your booster seat, buddy?'

James looked at him. 'I don't think it fits with Baby.' He pulled his belt on and tapped the dashboard. 'Can we go now?' Dean grinned and nodded, starting the engine. He selected a cassette and put it into the deck, and James practically bounced in excitement as Metallica started to play. As the Impala pulled out of the driveway, Dean wound his window down, waving at a couple of the neighbours who waved back jovially.

It was a four hour drive to Bobby's, but they didn't stop more than twice, eager to get there. Around lunchtime, they pulled into the yard, and Bobby was stood on the porch waiting for them. Dean barely had time to turn the engine off before he was out the door and launching himself into his grandpa's arms, squealing in delight.

'Grandpa!'

'Hey there, sport!' Bobby embraced him tightly, grinning as Dean climbed out of the car, Cars backpack in hand. He moved around to the trunk and grabbed his duffel, slowly trundling up to the house, a smile on his face. 'Hey, boy.'

'Hey, Bobby.' He greeted, following them into the house. James was babbling away already, telling Bobby everything he'd been up to and it made Dean's smile wider. He'd not heard James talk this much in months. It was nice to see him sort of back to his own self.

'Calm down, boy, calm down.' Bobby chuckled as James practically dragged him into the study. 'Take a seat. Want a beer?' He asked Dean, who nodded. The old hunter went to the fridge and grabbed beers for himself and Dean, and a juice box for the kid. James took the drink with a thanks, and then launched back into stories about school.

'I'm the highest scorer in my class.' He finished his tale of a maths challenge with pride, and Bobby raised an eyebrow in Dean's direction.

'Doing good then, huh?'

Dean beamed proudly. 'Oh yeah, he's a straight A student. Nothing to do with me, though.' James grinned around the straw of his juice.

'You helped me with that class project though, Dad.'

The nickname brought a funny look on Bobby's face as he looked at Dean in confusion. 'Dad?' Dean shifted uncomfortably.

'I'll explain later.' He cleared his throat, swigging at his beer. 'Need to talk to you about some stuff anyway.'

'Is it about hunting?' James asked, and Bobby shook his head.

'We don't do that stuff any more, James.' Dean admonished. 'You know that.' James leant back into the sofa, sulking. He hadn't brought hunting up in a long time, and Dean suddenly felt like this whole trip was a bad idea. Luckily, Bobby came to the rescue.

'Hey, I got some decent cartoons on my television now. How's about we watch some and have some lunch?'

The rest of the day passed in much the same fashion as it had when they were living there, and by bedtime, Bobby knew pretty much everything James had said or done for the last four months. James was yawning widely, and Dean stood, clapping his hands on his thighs.

'Come on, kiddo. Bedtime.'

'Awww. I'm not -' Another loud yawn. 'Tired, Dad.'

'Yeah, yeah.' He bent down and scooped the boy up, grabbing his bag on the way out of the study.

'His room's as he left it. Messy. But clean.' Bobby smirked, watching Dean climb the stairs.

'Thanks Bobby.'

'Night Grandpa.' James' voice floated back down to him, and Bobby returned the sentiment. Half an hour later, Dean trudged down the stairs on his own, running a hand through his hair.

'Mind explaining a few things to me, Dean?' Bobby was sat at his desk, his appearance that of a stern principal. 'Like why James is calling you his dad?'

Dean sighed, throwing himself onto the sofa. 'I tried to explain to him that I'm not, Bobby. But the kid's been through a lot. He's only six. He doesn't quite understand.'

'He seemed to understand perfectly well when he was calling Cas "Daddy".'

'Yeah well, he seems to think Cas has abandoned him. I heard him, you know, praying. Every night for weeks. First it was begging the angel to come back. Then it was just telling him he hated him. Now I don't think he prays at all.' Dean leant forward, staring at his calloused hands. 'He says I'm not gonna leave him, that he wants me to be his dad. It freaked Lisa out a bit at first, but then we just sort of...got used to it.'

'And what if Castiel comes back?'

'It doesn't look likely, Bobby.' Dean looked upwards, as if he could see James through the ceiling. He'd been so tired when Dean put him to bed that he went out like a light. 'I prayed to him. He just ignores us.' He exhaled heavily. 'He gave me all of his memories of when James was a baby. He told me he was mine now. So I've just...he kinda is, in a way.'

'There's no doubt there. He's all of ours, Dean. He's yours, just as he's always gonna be Alex's, Sam's and he'll always be my grandson. I always told you family don't end with blood.' Bobby smiled and stood up, pouring two glasses of whiskey. 'I figure this needs something stronger than beer.'

'There's other stuff too. He's been...he sees things. Not specific things, just like, little things. Last month, he knew Ben was gonna hurt himself. And he did. We thought it was just a kid thing but it's not the first time. And then I saw him...I dunno. He can do the fancy light show that Cas always did when he healed someone.' Bobby was watching him carefully. 'He doesn't use it in public. And he didn't tell me at first, but now he tells me everything.'

'There been any demon or angel activity?'

'Not that I've seen. I keep an eye out but...I'm starting to think they've forgotten about us.'

Bobby shook his head. 'They ain't never gonna forget about that boy, Dean. You're doing good so far, but something someday, is gonna find him. You need to be prepared for that.'

'He asked the other day if we were gonna stay with Lisa and Ben forever.'

'Do you think you will? You've got it good, Dean. You're out. You've got what most hunters never get. A second chance at life.'

'I know. And I don't wanna tear him away from it. But sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing.' Dean took a sip of the whiskey, scrunching up his face. He hadn't had a whiskey this strong in a while. 'I should be out there, Bobby. But I promised Sam. And I promised Alex.' He felt the weight of the letter in his pocket.

'Then you stay out.' Bobby shrugged. 'Do what you've been doing. How do Lisa and Ben feel about all this?'

'Lisa's...Lisa is great. Honestly. Never thought I'd be so lucky. And Ben, well, he's the big brother that James never had. He dotes on him.'

Bobby chuckled. 'It's hard not to, to be fair.' Dean smiled, finishing the rest of his whiskey. He stood up, placing the empty glass on the desk. 'So you're staying for a couple of days?'

'If that's okay with you.'

'You know it is. You're always welcome here, Dean. You and James both.'