Wanting to hold you, but knowing you would not be there…

Chapter 36

I found that just surviving was a noble fight…

Living with Grace was not what Victoria expected. Her cousin had always been easy tempered and fun to be around.

She still tried to be, but there were times when she was melancholy and depressed. It was totally understandable. Still, it made Victoria sad. And as the days passed, there were more days like that.

Grace's visitors were less than Victoria would have expected. Which just went to prove how shallow the people in their set really were.

Grace's father made an obligatory visit once a week and stayed exactly twenty minutes, before kissing his daughter on the top of her head and leaving. Since her mother had died ten years previously, there was no one else.

Victoria's father made one visit soon after she arrived there, as did her mother (on separate occasions), but neither stayed long and neither returned as the weeks passed.

Drew started a Thursday night ritual of bringing food from some trendy little restaurant and hanging out with his sister and cousin for an hour or so. Grace was unable to eat much of the food, but she seemed to enjoy the company.

Drew was uncomfortable, but he forced himself to visit, mostly for his sister's sake.

Of the friends that Grace had accumulated through the years, none of them came. In the beginning, there were phone calls and promises to visit, but no one actually went through with it.

Grace's father had told Adam about his mother's condition. But being one of the spoiled rich children that Victoria hated, the most that he did was call his mother once to ask how she was feeling before telling her he had to be in class.

Victoria knew that hurt Grace very much, but she wouldn't allow Victoria to speak to him about it.

But every night, Victoria talked to her daughter on the web cam. The fact that her ex-husband was holding the child was a bonus. Grace always spoke to her for a few minutes as well.

Grace noticed how happy Victoria was during those web chats. And she knew it wasn't just because she saw Andra.

"Tori, why don't you let Greg know how you feel?"

"How I feel about what?"

"How you feel about him?"

"He's my ex-husband and Andralynn's father. That's all I feel."

"You know that you can't lie to me, don't you?"

Victoria was silent.

"Sweetie," Grace told her, "If this has done nothing else, it's taught me to cherish those I care about."

"Is that why you won't call Adam?"

"He knows what's happening. I can't force him to want to see me."

"I don't know, I think I may have ruined my chances with Greg when I pushed him out of my life."

"You don't know that."

Victoria just shook her head. "That's not for this moment. Right now, I have a question for you: What happened between you and Brian?"

"W-why are you asking that?"

"Because one minute you were madly in love with him, everything was wonderful. Then, all of a sudden, you've broken up. And I didn't get a phone call from you telling me what a bastard he was, how he dumped you or cheated on you or something. And every time I mention his name, you get a sad look in your eyes."

"It's over, Tori. Brian and I are over. It doesn't matter why."

Grace leaned back and closed her eyes. She did that when she was worn out and needing rest. Or when she just didn't want to talk anymore.

But it does matter, Victoria thought, And I'm going to find out why.

That afternoon, while Grace napped, Victoria left the townhouse and headed to a brokerage firm on Chestnut Street. She knew the name of the company that Brian worked for, since his firm had done some work for the Foundation. In fact, Grace had met him through Victoria.

She went to the sixth floor and directly to his office. Since she had worked with him, his secretary recognized her.

"Oh, Ms Marsden, was Mr. Charles expecting you?" she asked, looking at his calendar for appointments.

"No, he wasn't. I'm sorry to intrude, I'm sure he's busy. But I only need a few minutes of his time. I promise."

The secretary nodded and picked up the phone. After speaking for a few moments, she nodded, put down the phone and said, "You can go in."

Victoria walked into the office. Brian Charles was in his mid-forties, sandy brown hair, grey eyes and a fit body. He smiled when he saw his visitor.

"Victoria, it's good to see you. I wasn't expecting you. Is there a problem with the…"

Before he could start talking about business, Victoria interrupted him. "No, Brian, this is a personal matter."

"Oh?" he asked, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Would you mind telling me why you broke up with Grace?"

He hesitated, looked at the items on desk. "I didn't break up with her. She dumped me. We were…happy, I thought. Everything was great. Then out of the blue, she tells me we're through. No reason. We hadn't fought, I hadn't acted like a jerk or anything. We had just spent a great weekend in the mountains. I asked her why, what had I done. She said, nothing, it's just over. That was it."

Victoria nodded. Just as she'd thought.

"Brian, I'm going to tell you something, not because I expect anything from you, but because I think you have the right to know. And I think that if you don't find out now, you are going to be very upset later. And you'll demand to know why I didn't tell you."

"What are you talking about?"

Victoria took a deep breath. "Grace is dying."

"What?"

"She has cancer. She's dying. There's not that much time left."

"But..how..why…?"

"My belief is that she didn't want you to have to deal with it, so she broke it off when she was diagnosed."

The man was obviously in shock, unable to say anything.

"I really am not expecting anything from you. You are under no obligation and I will not think less of you if this is the end of it. I just didn't want you to find out after she's gone and be full of regret that you hadn't had a chance to say goodbye."

He looked at her and nodded.

"Should you want to see her, she's at her home. I've been staying with her. Goodbye, Brian."

He croaked out, "Goodbye, Victoria."