One Chatper to the FINAL!

Chapter 36

Buffy tiptoed silently out of her room closing the door behind. She walked toward Willow, who was bringing a couple of cups of tea on a tray. "I thought this could be useful."

Buffy smiled at her. "Yeah… well I need it. Spike finally fell asleep. It's the first time he's slept in days."

"How…?"

"Better." She smiled again. "Lots better – that's probably why he was able to sleep."

"So, she knew. Everything."

"Yeah, Lilea knew the demon was after Spike and me."

"And this means…"

Buffy's smile this time was different.

Willow could see the tears behind her friend's eyes.

"Funny isn't it? He has a soul. Again I am in lo… I feel something for a vampire with a soul."

"Spike has a soul now?"

"Does it change everything? I mean…" She covered her face with her hand for a moment ."I don't even know what it means!"

"Don't push it, I mean, take it slowly. Whatever, it will be sorted."

"Xander will hate me…"

"Actually who cares? He is the one who's still dating Anya… He's the last one who can talk…"

They were silent for a little while. "Did you sleep, last night?"

Buffy nodded. "I slept a little. I think one hour on the couch downstairs and a couple of hours in Dawn's bed this morning, after a very late patrol. There isn't much to patrol. I think the vampires from two nights ago will be the last for a while. No demons around."

"Are you going to join us downstairs or stay here?"

"I'll have a shower and then I'm coming. I'm quite starving."

The phone rang a couple of times before Dawn picked it up. She almost ran to reach Buffy. "It's the bank… Something happened there."

"'llo? Buffy Summers… What? How much? Oh God… Yeah I was waiting for some money from England but… I think I need to sit down. I didn't know it was THAT much. Are you sure there isn't a mistakes?"

Willow watched her expression change. She carefully set the tray down.

Buffy was pale when she ended the call. She stared at Willow for a moment then hugged her tightly.

"Breath, I can't Breath!!!" the red witch warned.

"We got the money… The Council paid up."

"So she set this up too?"

"Yeah…"

-OOO-

"You're an asshole." The vampire almost shout against the girl.

"And you a pigheaded." She answered back.

"You are…" he stopped for a moment, looking for the right word "evil!"

A big smile appeared on the girl's mouth. "I learned from the best one, luv."

"You're so dead!" Spike added shaking slowly his head, pointing at her with a finger.

"I'm not… and you saved my life" Lilea smiled more widely.

"Just because I wanted to kill you with my own hands." He rushed to add.

"He keeps repeating me all the time… he never did" Buffy commented from her position against the door.

"Oh, slayer shut-up!" He shouted without looking at them.

"Which one?" Lilea asked with a forced innocent voice from her spot under the blanket.

"Not you! You told her! How could you!" Spike wasn't pretending. He was mad, and hurt. He felt betrayed even if a part of him was relieved, Lilea could see it from his colors, but still he felt so bad for Lilea's choice. As usual when Buffy was in a room his colors were the most complicated ones to understood. Strangely were shining, and no more mess was in them. Her heart was open for him, and this was the highest reward for Lilea. She had won her personal battle.

"I didn't. You did! You were dying to tell her!" Lilea explained calmly.

"That's not true! I just confirmed what your big mouth wasn't able to keep secret." He spitted with rage.

The young woman made her face rest on her knees. "You're so funny. " She smiled again.

"I'm not funny! Take it back!"

"You are and you're lovely when you're so mad." She whispered with a big smile on her lips.

"Buffy, tell her something." He tried to look for help toward the slayer, his feeling were almost hurt.

"Why? She is already winning this match." Buffy was making an effort not to laugh. She didn't want Spike to think she was mocking him but he was so sweet. She couldn't help smiling.

"Which side are you on?" He was almost horrified Buffy wasn't defending him, at least this time where a betray was so obvious.

"Actually, hers." Buffy smiled wider and explained, "she was the one who figured out how to make you confess without any effort."

"What? I didn't confess…" He was confused. Both girls could tell that, but actually his confusion made him even cuter.

"You did… at the first try… The only thing Lilea told me was you had a secret… and she told me to tell you she spoke…. Evil, ingenious and smart plan. Did I thank you for that, Lil?"

"You're a so… bitch." Spike was half scandalized and half incredulous about Lilea's idea.

Lilea burst out laughing "Yeah, Spike I love you too." She yawned and moaned for the effort, the shoulder still was hurting as hell. "Can we stop arguing now? I'm tired and you have something to do."

"I have nothing to do. I can still argue with Evil slayer." He emphasized the plural.

Lilea smiled denial mixed with fear of revealing to Buffy his feelings, what sweet jerk. Lilea finger pointed to Buffy, but her head was still watching toward Spike's colors. "You know why Gulthias showed, don't you?"

The vampire shrugged, his rage vanished like snow under the sun. "Maybe he was wrong…"

"Can you two guys stop talking in code?" Buffy asked without understanding where the dead snail-like demon fit in the topic. Ok before shooting the arrow she heard him say something but she didn't focus on it. Everything happened too fast. Later she actually tried to ask Spike how Lilea knew the demon was going to attack them but the vampire didn't answer. She meant to ask to the girl as soon as possible, but she still hadn't had time. And both the sick slayer and the vampire were not paying much attention to her just now.

"You're a Jerk!" She shouted and for the effort she started coughing. Spike moved closer in a second but she pushed him away. Her face became serious, as never before that day. "He couldn't be wrong, you know that! You… you're a coward, I'm going to sleep now. You, both of you, need to talk."

"Can I understand something too?" Buffy asked again now a little disappointed.

"No," Spike answered harshly.

"Hey, it's still my home! And be gentle with the girl… She saved your life! And that remind reminds me. We were too distracted because we were fighting. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!"

"We wouldn't need to talk about THIS. I already explained, didn't I?" The guy paced out of the room as if the slayer was standing next to it.

Buffy breathed deeply trying to recover from the new waves of rages, then run behind him grabbing his arms and closing him and herself in Dawn's empty room.

"That wasn't an explanation!" She closed the door, while the vampire moved several steps from it, without facing her. " Why didn't you tell me?" Then she paused an additional moment, trying to recover from the rage she felt inside for the vampire's omission. "Why, Spike?" she almost whispered.

He paced, almost furiously toward her and for a moment she thought he was going to kill her. He stopped only one step away from her, his hands moved on the wall at both sides, of Buffy's head, his face just few inches from hers, but his eyes were no able to look at Buffy's.

"Spike," she breathed, without even knowing if he actually heard her. He was motionless and, before he moved, time seemed to have stopped.

"Because of this." Spike took the step that was keeping separated him from Buffy and his lips touched hers. Just a butterfly kiss.

When he stepped back he still had his eyes closed. His arms now leaned against his body. When he eventually opened them he saw Buffy, her eyes still closed, an inscrutable expression on her face.

Slowly she opened her eyes. Spike could swear he saw tears in them, then Buffy crossed out the distance between them, leaning her head against his chest.

"When you were away… I couldn't understand why it was so difficult, but I thought I'd find a sort of equilibrium. But when you came back… I realized that my balance was fake. I was trying to have everything under my control, because it was easier - the job, the slayer-thing, even training Dawn with no guy around, no additional friends, just the Scoobies. Something I could call safe. Or maybe sometimes when you're pretending you're ok it's easier." Her voice was just a whisper.

"Buffy, you don't have…" Her finger was lightly laid on his mouth with a sort of caress and she stepped back in order to look at him better.

"I wanted to tell you so much… and maybe even insult you, and kick your ass so badly… for leaving in that way, without any words, without the opportunity to explain or talk about what happened between us. But you stayed with me in hospital, and don't think I don't remember that you were there. Dawn was dying and I was so grateful to have you right there, without asking for nothing, just giving the force, the power to survive, of not giving up my hope… then you seemed to have vanished again, I knew where you were and I knew I could come to your place and find you… but I didn't. And I thought you and Lilea were a couple. But, again at your place and then at Giles', you seemed so close to me. It hurt so much, because when we talked I felt wonderfully… but I still didn't realize. And yet I didn't realize until I saw you risking your life against Riley… and you suffer in that way… your head and your arm…"

Spike felt Buffy stiffen and hold herself tighter to him, as she remembered the consequences of Finn's little show.

"… and then you slept with me, held me… I knew I felt alive again. In a different way. I felt complete… And I understood that…"

"Buffy…" This time he whispered.

"But you pushed me away… every time I tried to make a connection and you let me believe you and Lilea were... a couple…"

"I never said anything like that!" He tried arguing.

"But you were acting as if it was true... how could I know you two weren't?" Her voice trembled with emotions.

"Maybe by asking?

"Like you asked me?"

"Buffy, I don't even dare to think about it… How can I hope… not after what I did." Spike's voice showed every regret he was feeling, and so his gaze was still hunted by guilty.

"Stop repeating this. We left that behind. I don't even want to remember that. It wasn't you, it wasn't me. It was a mistake. Period. I'm not going to go over it. EVER." Buffy voice was exasperate again his face and his look hurt her too. She could feel the pain he was feeling, when his eyes moved away from hers.

Buffy stepped, raising herself on her toes. Her hands slowly moved, cupping Spike's face, forcing him with all the sweetness she was able to stare again into hers eyes, then her lips brushed his mouth. "If you don't love me, or if you want to leave tell me now, because I couldn't bear the idea of being so close to you, and losing you again…" She whispered against his lips "I need you to know, Spike, because if I open myself more to you, and you're not serious in this…" She paused a moment her head leaned again against his one "I'm afraid Spike… because I can't control myself, my feelings."

"Oh God." His husky voice made her shiver, there was so much emotion in it, desperation and hunger for her, and maybe fear, but also hope and over all, she was sure, love.

But he seemed unable to express it with words, so he took Buffy's head in his hands, holding her firmly, moving it away so that he could stare at her.

No words, just a look.

And then again their mouths found each other in a passionate, sweet, hungry, tender, endless kiss, while his arms closed around Buffy in a strong, warm hug that was full of meaning. Spike's hands moved under her shirt, taking turns in order to hold her and touch her skin. Then his left hand moved toward Buffy's lower back curves, pushing her against himself, the other hand moved up along her side, with a sense of possession, brushing slowly touching her around her breast, her neck, her face.

Buffy tensed when Spike's hand touched her body. She moved away slightly so that he could touch her more easily and let him have better access to her curves. Her hand slipped under his left arm, caressing his back and grabbing his shoulder as if she was never going to let him leave, her other hand moved under his shirt, her nails scratched on his naked skin.

Passion, again, after so long. But this time it was different, it was love. For the first time they shared both at once. One year ago she needed Spike in order not to feel dead inside; now, in this mix of passion and Love (with a capital L) she felt alive. This was so different from anything else she had felt in her life. And part of her head started wondering if just a kiss made her feel as much emotions how making love with Spike could affect her. But this time she didn't want to rush. Not today.

She moaned with disappointment against his lips when she had to stop the kiss, in order to breathe. Even with her eyes closed she felt him smile.

"As a first kiss that wasn't bad." He said in a pretended casual tone, caressing her face.

"First?" She looked at him with wonder.

"It's the first time you really meant it, luv." Spike explained with a smirk on his face.

Buffy moved her head a little in order to look straight into his eyes. "I never was able to hide anything from you. How can you do that?"

He didn't answer quickly, Buffy saw that he was going to tell her something serious, but then he stopped. His eyes shone in the semi-darkness, with a malicious light. "Because I'm brilliant, sexy and intelligent: you can choose the order…"

"I'd say modest above all." She joked.

"True… Modest! My best quality."

"Spike?" The vampire looked at her. Her face was suddenly more uncertain; she was chewing her lip. "Dawn will be going to sleep at Janice's in a couple of hours… so since my bed is taken… and I'm really tired… I suppose you're tired too…" She blushed furiously "You think we could… I mean just sleep… What I'm trying to say is that I would love to make love with you… but not now… with Dawn or other people that can enter in the room at any moment, but I prefer not to sleep alone…"

"It's ok by me. I would be very happy to share the bed with you, even without adding any additional… fun" He said but his eyes were shining.

"Since when were you so patient?"

"Since the moment you were serious with this thing." Spike realized he said that aloud so he tried to cover his embarrass adding "I'll probably need a dozen of cold showers during the night, and you too… but I can resist ONE night. I already did once… if you can… can you?"