Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You
Kellie Pickler
Told in Castle's POV. Happens during the fight scene of Knockout. What happens if when Beckett asks Castle to leave, he won't?
"Is that what we are?" She asks with a scary look on her face.
"Alright, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. we nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talks about it. So, no, I got no clue what we are. I know I don't want to see you throw your life away." I yell in frustration.
Yeah, well, last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years I have been running around with the school's funniest kid, and it is not enough."
"You know what? This isn't about your mother's case anymore. This is about you needing a place to hime. Because you have been chasing this thing so long, you are afraid to find out who you are without it."
"You don't know my, Castle. You think you do, but you don't."
"I know you crawled inside your mother's murder and didn't come out. I know you hide there, the same way you hid in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you are afraid." I say and as soon as it comes out of my mouth I regret it.
"You know what we are, Castle? We are over. Now get out." She yells as she walks back towards her make shift murder board.
"No."
"What?"
"You heard me, no."
"Why?"
"Because we were best friends, and now we don't even talk. You broke my heart and ripped my world apart. I can't get you out of my head. I still feel you on my lips and in my arms. You left me all alone. You couldn't be more gone from falling apart to fighting mad. From wanting you back to not giving a damn. I have felt it all. I have been to the wall."
"Castle, just go. I don't want you here. This is not your fight."
"Bull. This is my fight now just as much as yours. Didn't you know how much I love you? I gave you everything, almost every part of me. Didn't you feel it when I kissed you, didn't you feel it when I held you? Don't you know how much I love you?" I practically scream.
The look on her face when I said that was complete shock. "Castle… I… " She started but then closed her mouth.
"Kate, look. I am sorry. I should have just left. I didn't mean for you to cry." I said as I started to turn to leave.
"I love you too." She said which made me turn around and face her.
"What?" I ask.
"I love you. I want to be with you. I only want you." She said as she took the last couple of steps towards me and kissed me. She took my face in her hands and latched our lips.
I took her wrists in my hands and said, "What just happened?"
"I am so sorry. I should have never kicked you out. You were right. I hide in these nowhere relationships with men I don't love because I was afraid of being happy." She said as she looked up at me. "But I am ready now. I am ready to be happy."
"What about Josh."
"I don't care about him. All I care about is you."
"You have to do something about him, otherwise I can't do this. I can't let someone cheat on their boyfriend, especially with me."
"Okay, just give me a couple minutes."
"Okay." I said as she went to get her phone and then dialed his number. What surprised me was that she put it on speaker phone, but told me not to speak.
"Hello? Kate?"
"Hey Josh."
"Hey, what is wrong?"
"Nothing. I just I can't do this anymore. I am sorry."
"What are you talking about?"
"I am breaking up with you. I am sorry."
"Umm, wow. Okay. Can I just ask you one thing?"
"Yah sure."
"Are you in love with him?"
"Who?"
"Castle?" he asked and we looked up at each other with pure shock shown on our faces.
"How did you know?"
"Because it was obvious every time I went to the precinct that you two had a connection. And I don't know why I am still a little surprised. Ever since I first met him, I knew that one day this would happen."
"What do you mean?"
"I knew that one day you would realize what you had with him, and you would break up with me."
"Then why didn't you break up with me first?"
"Because I cared about you. I really did."
"I am sorry Josh."
"I know. Goodbye Kate."
"Goodbye Josh." She said as she hung up the phone and I embraced her in my arms.
"I guess Lannie was right." She said.
"What do you mean."
"Last year, we talked. She said that I might not be able to see it, but everyone else did. She said it was obvious that we had feelings for each other. I just blew it off."
"It doesn't matter. We are here now."
"Yah, I guess it doesn't. As long as we have each other."
"Stay here with me?" I ask.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't meet Montgomery at the hanger. Just stay here with me tonight."
"Okay."