Author's Note: I know I've been MIA, but I'm sick for the fifth time this year, and the first one lasted for a month and a half. This one is going on two. It sucks. :( Hopefully, the story doesn't.

Disclaimer- Don't own the show. No profit had. Blah, blah, blah- the usual technical jargon.

Chapter Thirty-Six:

"Jane, just get her the hell out of there." Korsak's voice rumbled over the comm in her ear.

Surprising herself and making Maura's small frame jump slightly, Jane took the other woman's hand and for once, did as she was told.

Together, they walked through the dispersing crowd to coat check, Jane trying to be sure they were inconspicuous but quick. The only reason Maura seemed to be moving with her was because of the pull she on her arm. She stood frighteningly still as her coat was draped over her shoulders and didn't look up once from the paper still clutched in her palm. Like it had suddenly become her whole world.

Jane slipped her on own coat, as they headed through the door held open for them and emerged out into the cold. Their limo was already pulling up for them by the time they made it down the slightly slippery stairs, so she trundled the doctor inside the back, sliding in behind her so that they were pressed almost uncomfortably close together. The shock of warm air rushing back around them when she finally shut the door wasn't enough to break the tense bubble they were trapped in despite their close proximity though and they rode in silence back to the boutique where they'd started from, the slight snow fall seeming to encase them in a quiet cocoon as the limo navigated through the city. She glanced furtively at Maura every few minutes during the journey, but could think of nothing to say or do to get her to talk to her. To get rid of the glazed look in her favorite hazel eyes.

Not that she blamed Maura. If it was her father, or if she had the doctor's life- she'd probably be doing the same thing.

After she punched him in the nose, at least.

It wasn't hard to get Maura to follow her inside once they arrived at Van Clar's, the woman was completely compliant and vacant the entire time. Not even the cold, that seemed to have grown in the last thirty minutes exponentially, was able to shock her back into a semblance of life.

Ms. Areum, the owner of the boutique, was in the front of the shop when they came in. She took one look at them as they removed their coats and a crease formed between her perfect brows, her glinting dark eyes narrowing.

The most expression Jane had yet to see on her.

When the trim and imposing Asian moved from her place, striding over to them quickly, Maura finally looked up.

Though she wasn't sure if it was the fast movement or the fact that it was Areum, Jane breathed a sigh of relief just to see some kind of reaction.

The two shorter women before her exchanged a look.

Something about that look triggered a kind of switch in the semi-catatonic Maura, perhaps compelled by her stern upbringing to speak at last. Her words were whispered, so that they were hard to hear even in the silence. "We need something else to change into, please. Something nice, but not eye-catching for my companion. Something from the usual rack for me, whichever you want. And I'd like to have our original clothing sent to my address on file."

There was something wooden about the usually warm voice, something that made Jane frown in disquiet.

Eyeing the both of them now, Ms. Areum swept a commanding hand at a woman hovering behind her. Her employee came forward and they were led back to their changing room.

About ten woman within immediately started helping the doctor slip out of her shoes and dress. Jane blushed and waved them away from helping her, indicating she could do so herself. She turned her back of to get her own dress off. Her hands shook as she peeled the sage gala gown down and off, feeling harried enough that she didn't even think about all the people rushing about them that she was now half-naked in front of. A dress not unlike the single "sheath" dresses that Vianne kept putting her in was placed unobtrusively beside her, the gown taken away, and most of the attendants headed for the door. She quickly pulled the article they'd given to her on, only turning once she was properly covered in blue fabric. It covered more than the gown had. Her eyes immediately searched for her doctor, somehow following her unconscious panic at having the woman out of her sight for even a few minutes.

Maura was already redressed, though from the way the new clothe sat across her chest and draped over the smooth curves of her hips, it was clear she had done none of the work herself. Her honey and caramel hair hung in a soft swirl only slightly chinked from the braid it had been in all night. The necklace she'd been wearing was gone as well, and her wrist was bare of the bracelets it had had around it. She looked completely unperturbed by the whirlwind that had just left the room, seated on a bench, staring into space as a final woman finished putting heels on her feet.

Not pausing a moment to over-analyze the instinctive desire to be as close to Maura as possible, Jane took her hair down and shook it out, coming over toward them. She was somewhat startled when Josie turned away from her task to face her. In her preoccupation with Maura, she hadn't recognized the woman from behind, but it was a relief to see someone she at least knew by name.

"I can take your jewelry now, Miss Jane." The assistant stood from her finished task and held out her hands. "Unless you prefer they be added to Miss Isles' bill."

Belatedly remembering the earrings, necklace and bracelet that were not hers, Jane hurried to take them off. She didn't even want to contemplate how much they would cost Maura if she kept them.

"Your gowns will be cleaned and sent to Miss Isles' address, of course, as will the matching shoes. If you'd like, we can arrange to have yours shipped to a different address than the others?"

"N-o. No, thank you." Jane didn't take her eyes off Maura, simply waving a hand awkwardly. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say.

"Very well, Miss. Will there be anything else that we can help you with tonight?" Josie sent a surreptitious glance toward Maura's unmoving form before giving Jane her full attention again.

"Uh, nah... I think that will be all. Thanks again."

Josie inclined her head, turned to leave, but for the first time that night, she hesitated. "I-Is everything all right, Miss?" She looked at Maura again and then glanced toward the door.

In the mass exodus of attendants, Jane hadn't noticed the figure stood beside the door, though now she wondered how she could have missed Van Clar's proprietor against the wall.

Head tilted to the side, Areum seemed to only have eyes for Maura, as though she hadn't taken her eyes off the woman since they'd arrived.

It wasn't hard to imagine that being precisely the case.

Remembering Josie and her question, Jane abruptly brought her attention back to the blonde. She didn't know how to answer the inquiry, so she shrugged and turned again to Maura, crouching awkwardly in her skirt in front of the doctor. Her hand reached out and lightly touched the woman's knee, just where the pale blue spaghetti-strap dress that she was wearing cut off. "There, don't you feel better? Change of clothes and not anywhere near..." She stopped herself just short of mentioning Hoyt. They had only recently gotten away from the man's presence, he didn't need to be brought up in conversation, much less around strangers.

Despite the fact that they weren't more than an forearm's length from each other, Maura didn't acknowledge her. She seemed lost, eyes half-lidded and head hanging just slightly to the side as if it was too heavy to keep straight. Her hands were folded on her lap and her ankles crossed and tucked in though, and that seemed like something.

Jane wasn't sure what it was, but... something nonetheless. Perhaps forethought on Maura's part. She let her voice slip into something more gentle and coaxing. "Come on, Maur. It's over." She took the woman's hand. "Let's go."

Miraculously, Maura yielded and stood up on slightly shaky legs, letting herself be led just as easily as before. She did stop at the door though, her hand coming up to clutch the edge of the dark wood lintel strong enough that her skin turned pale.

Well, pale-r.

"Maura?" Jane questioned.

The doctor turned hesitantly, eyes finally looking back up and meeting Areaum's again from across the room. There was a pause, as though she was trying to gather her thoughts, before Maura whispered- "Burn it."

There wasn't much of a question that she was referring to the order bound for her home.

Though Jane felt something like a pang of regret for the beautiful lavender dress Maura had had on all night, she couldn't say she didn't understand the sentiment. She tried to get a look at the owner's reaction but Maura was already disappearing through the door, so she rushed through as well, pulling the door closed behind her. "Maur." It came out a lot more worried than she intended.

At last, Maura met her eyes too. The hazel was dark, and they still looked lost and vulnerable, but not as empty as before.

Gently, Jane guided the coat back onto Maura's arms at the door before pulling her own on. "You alright?" Was the only thing she could think to ask the woman.

Maura winced a bit at that, but nodded. Then she shrugged one shoulder.

It was enough.

Jane put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as they left the boutique for the cab waiting for them outside.

-o-

This was something that Maura told herself she was used to- this feeling. This empty hollow inside her, like a gaping wound that sucks all life from the world and all the blood from her limbs. She was cold and it had nothing to do with the weather. No amount of huddling inside her thick winter coat, or rubbing her hand against her thigh would get rid of it.

Their cab wound through the snowy streets and she stared at the passing world without really seeing anything.

She could tell that the woman beside her was looking at her furtively, but she didn't turn to look back. There didn't seem to be anything to say, no words to express what was going through her heart and mind when she felt this empty. She felt like the walking wounded, one of the living departed. How could she put that in words so that Jane would understand? How could she explain the betrayal crawling through her veins at the thought of what her father had done?

All of it was hopeless. To speak, to move... to fight. She'd practically shouted at her father, finally told him how much she hated what he was making her do, and how had he responded? By handing her the paper still clutched in her hand, crumpled beyond salvaging- it didn't matter. She remembered what it said. In fact, she doubted she'd ever forget. It flashed before her eyes even when she closed them, like moments of her life passing before her eyes.

Was it any wonder they called her the Queen of the Dead? She was epitome of a moving corpse, one that walked and talked but never stopped rotting. This space she occupied was rank with it. It was a black hole sitting where her sternum abutted her larynx, growing in size and gravity by the second, powerful enough to tear away the sun of Jane's presence. The hand inside hers felt unreal even as it tugged on her gently.

"Maura?"

Staring down at her own fingers threaded through the woman's, Maura wondered why she couldn't feel Jane's warmth anymore.

"Look- I know a lot has happened today." Jane scooted closer to her till their sides were flush and whispered near her ear, her voice trembling slightly. "The truth is sometimes hard to hear and say, but you've stood up to all of it. Looked it right in the eyes and pushed back. That's badass. This whole thing was thrown at you so suddenly and you're probably exhausted though. I know I am. We'll get through this together. We'll go straight to meet the others at the hotel and Korsak will figure out what we can do from there."

Though she heard those last words, they made no sense to Maura. What was there to figure out? Was Korsak going to try and give her lessons on how to have sex now?

Jane must have seen her puzzlement, because her voice became more firm. "We're not going to let them do this, Maur. We'll think of some way."

Get out of it? It was a nice, if impossible, thought. Maura felt strangely touched.

Jane's hand tightened on hers. "You won't have to go. I won't let them make you and Korsak will agree that you've been through enough."

Finally, Maura looked at Jane. Her eyes caught and bore into pale hazelnut and her heart pinched. At least it was something. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but at least it wasn't 'nothing'. There wasn't much more that could be added to what Jane had said though without laughing the ludicrous idea away. If the brunette really wanted to believe there was a way out of this for her, she wasn't going to damper her hope even if she knew better. Instead, she just looked away again after a moment.

"Uh..." Jane seemed flummoxed at her lack of response, casting about for something more to say to her, when she suddenly stopped and tilted her head as though listening. She whispered when she next spoke, blocking the view of her moving lips from the driver in from by speaking into Maura's hair. "Frost says we- we should regroup in the hotel room where equipment is. They'll meet us there."

The earbud, of course. Once again, Maura had managed to forget there were people monitoring them. She almost wished she could bring herself to care. "Nothing's really changed." She murmured it more to herself than Jane, because she almost wasn't paying attention to the reassurances. While she appreciated Jane's attempt to make her feel better and her determination to "save" her from doing more of what had been her nightmare for so long, she couldn't bring herself to believe the words. The back of the taxi was less private than the limo had been, so she understood why Jane was whispering, but Maura didn't want to whisper. She wanted to scream. To yell and thrash, to tear up the paper still in her hand and fight someone or something. That was different at least. She would have thought all the fight was gone from her after all this time. Maybe it was like an animal caught in a trap, about to expire and giving it one last desperate attempt to get free. She was scared. Her heart wanted her to do all these things, but the pit in her chest sapped her energy and her will to actually do them.

What was the point?

"It'll be okay, Maura." Jane murmured back. "I promise, in the end, it'll all be okay." And then she lifted the hand linked with hers and kissed the back of Maura's hand.

Maura felt her extremity tingle with the contact and in a moment, she did something she wasn't expecting to do. Reaching out she caught the back of Jane's neck, pulled her in, and kissed her, hard. It was a desperate kiss, from a desperate woman, but it did exactly what Maura hoped it would. She could suddenly feel herself again. Her lips against Jane's, her hands threading into wild waves. When she pressed their bodies even closer together, she felt Jane whimper a little against her teeth. It brought a smile to her face, her body humming and her insides on fire. She pulled away just when she thought she might combust, leaving their foreheads together as she drew in ragged breaths, eyes closed so she didn't feel as dizzy. "Nothing's changed, Jane, it's true. But somehow, everything has. Because I want to believe you and I almost do."

"M-Maur." Jane croaked. Her hands had at some point grabbed Maura's shoulders and her fingers squeezed against her flesh.

The cab pulled to a stop at that moment, right in front of their destination.

"We should go, the others will be expecting us." Maura said softly, nudging Jane toward the door even as the hotels footman opened it up. She paused a moment to get herself back under control. Her feelings for Jane weren't complicated or buried in any sense of the word, but it had taken a lot for her to kiss Jane like that after the fiasco of last time. Her panic about what she was facing was hot and heavy against her throat right along with it. She took a shuddering breath, and followed Jane from the back of the cab.

It was only the fact that Jane took her hand again right after they got inside the building, that kept Maura from walking to the bar on instinct. She did hesitate for a moment, but a peek inside showed that Paul wasn't there and she already had the room numbers still clenched in her hand, so she followed after Jane.