"This way, miss," the nun led me up the staircase. Of course, only Daddy booked me into a frikin convent; and a gated convent at that. I wasn't that upset- or surprised- though. This place was literally right by the gigantic dome cathedral and was over five hundred years old. It was gorgeous inside, despite every window having bars on them. This lady brought me to an old study room, now converted into a hotel room. It was lovely, to say the least. She handed me an old-fashioned key and left me with a smile.

I tossed my backpack down on a nearby chair and left my bag in the middle of the floor. Still tired from the flight, I collapsed onto my bed, sprawling my arms out beside me. My eyes trailed up to the ceiling; there was still soot from the candles the nuns burned here back in the middle ages. Guess there's a law against cleaning that unless it's dangerous. My gaze started to lower into it thoughtfully.

That's it, huh? That's what I am: a chess piece for more powerful men to move around their board. I don't go places; I'm moved. But then, my situation isn't that different from other daughters of powerful, very rich men. Freedom for women like me would be inconvenient for those who even love us. I guess one way out of my father's overprotective thumb would be marriage… but I'm a PhD candidate; I don't need a man to save me. That being said, I'm not doing a very good job of saving myself. My lips parted a sliver.

It's not that I don't want to rescue myself or change my situation, but it's hard; harder than most people think. I'm surrounded by powerful men who all want something from me, even if that's just me staying alive like Daddy. No one ever asked what I want; I don't think they care… Just like all those princesses in history married off without so much as considering their opinion. I could resist; I could try to run but…. I part of me doesn't want to. I truly love my father- I'd never want to do anything to hurt him. And when I'm honest with myself, I do need some protection.

I rolled onto my side, now staring at the pale, faded yellow wall. He's right… I know he's right. I've almost died before. The memory of me getting stabbed zoomed through my mind. I made a choice for myself before, and now I have to pay for it. If I choose to run, I'll have to live with those consequences too. No one will be responsible for them but me. And besides, running is virtually impossible. The Dollars, or god forbid the Yellow Scarves would find me; sooner or later, they'd sniff me out. Then Daddy bind me in ribbons acting as chains. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm weak…. But maybe choosing not to run and just work with these godfathers can be my choice as well. Being Daddy's successor does give me some power, my gaze drifted over to Paul's bracelet on my wrist. Who knows? Maybe I can use that power to elect a new successor- someone I trust…..

The next day was Saturday- Saturday in Florence. I did all the touristy things. I went to the palace and spent much-too-much time in the gardens. While there, I wandered through the rose garden longer than most sections. I love roses… I have no idea where this comes from, but I love anything rose. Rose Jam is my all-time favorite scent family from Lush, which I also visited while in Italy. I sat down on a cement bench, watching some Italian kids play nearby. My eyes scrolled to the whole view that was the city of Florence.

What a beautiful city; I could most happily live here. But then, I love all of Europe, particularly Amsterdam, Florence, Salzburg, and of course, York. I'm not surprised Daddy chose Yorkshire for his ridiculous visa. Our family has land there. Not that I'll be going there anytime soon. I sighed and placed my hands behind them so to lean on them. Staring at the gorgeous, medieval city made me start to think, ponder aimlessly….

I was surprised to find myself thinking about how much I wished Christian could see this. What?! What am I thinking about this, about him? He just sort of appeared in my mind… out of nowhere, he was there. Leaning forward a bit, I pulled out my burner phone. Then in my other pocket, I grabbed a small, folded piece of paper. Written on it were Christian, Paul, and Kate's numbers. I wrote them down before my personal phone was confiscated, just in case…

This was the most defiant thing I'd ever done towards Daddy. He told me to stay away from Christian, and probably has the same opinion of Paul…. But this wasn't like literally running away or denying the succession. This was something directly, personally for me. Even just the act of copying their phone numbers…. That in itself was something I did for me. This wasn't the gang or the succession I was playing with; it was my heart. And I was done playing with my heart. Course if I did stay, I'll likely end up in some arranged marriage with a creep like Jason….. But the time in between now and then belongs to me, my hand wrapped around the precious slip of paper. It's ok for me to treasure it.

With that, I pulled out my burner phone; it twirled in my fingers. Now what? How am I going to spend this treasured period of freedom I have? What choice am I going to make? I remember wanting a choice, any choice so badly back in the police office that night… It appears now I have one; I've found one for myself. What do I do with it? What do I really want? What does the real me want for myself?

That's obvious. I want a PhD and to write; I want to embrace the writer within me. But there's more… There's more than that. I gripped the phone in my hand. This rare moment alone has given me some clarity, I think… Back home I'm so worried about others and what they want. I'm pushed and pulled by forces beyond my control. Yet here, it's just me; me and my thoughts- a tender moment of silence. And there are voices, faint whispers in the silence….. in me. For once, I can hear them.

Can I hear these whispers now because of my feelings? Ever since I met Christian, something inside me has begun to change, to grow… I've been smiling much more with him around, and when he holds my hand… I feel like I'm going to die. No one has ever made me feel that way before. He makes me so happy and yet, there's a whole world I can't show him, let him into. He doesn't know me; not really- there's so much to me that he can't see. He makes me happy, and that in turn makes me sad…. really sad when I think about it.

We'll part one day; we'll have to. Christian…. I can't help but consider… we'll have to say goodbye someday. I will go and marry whoever is decided for me. I'll spend the rest of my life in a world totally separate from yours. My eyes peered down at the phone. A world without you… But not yet; I still have this time, and I'm going to spend it however I want. And Christian… I flipped the phone open and began pressing buttons. I want to spend it with you.

[Hi Christian- it's me. It's Anastasia]