Thank you for all the reviews last chapter...I can't believe I'm over 1k reviews totals for the story, you guys rock ;)
Bold text are news headlines and reports
Italics are Santana's thoughts and conscience
Enjoy! :)
"Good evening, I'm Anderson Cooper, and thanks for tuning into CNN with this late breaking news bulletin. It's being reported that Grammy award winning actress and singer Santana Lopez has had a nervous breakdown while performing on Jimmy Kimmel Live this evening. Details are still scarce at this time but let's take a look at the video."
"I'm Sway with this MTV News Minute….prayers and thoughts are with the Lopez-Pierce family as Santana Lopez seemed to have a breakdown of some sort while performing this evening on Jimmy Kimmel, her son Noah rushed out on stage and finished performing for his mother and consequently followed her as she ran off stage. Santana is one of my good friends, as well as her wife Brittany, get better soon mama."
"Good evening, I'm Terrence J. I'm right outside of the El Capital Theatre where Jimmy Kimmel Live is taped, many of you have already seen the footage of singer/songwriter Santana Lopez, what looked to be a meltdown on stage this evening as she performed her hit song "Couple of Forevers", Santana has been battling anxiety for years. She recently opened up about her rape in her early 20s and even briefly mentioned it on the show, we can only wonder if that's what caused her meltdown on stage. We reached out to both Santana's publicist and her wife Brittany's publicist, but we have yet to receive a response back. I've met Santana a number of times and she's a beautiful person inside and out, I'm praying she and her family gets through this."
"I'm Nancy Grace, you are watching "On The Radar", what's on my radar?! Santana Lopez! Was she high, did she have a nervous breakdown….where the hell was her wife? Why was she sweating and shaking? Why was she crying? Why did her son have to save her from that horrible performance? Let's take another look at the video!"
"It's on every channel." Hannah said softly through the phone to her mother as she turned her TV off and tossed the remote on the floor.
"I know." Mrs. Pierce replied. "Did you call Brittany and let her know what happened?"
"Brit's back in town, I was Skyping her the performance, she watched it live like everyone else." Hannah explained. "She was headed to the studio but we lost connection. I tried calling Noah but he didn't answer."
"Give them some time to settle down, Brittany knows how to handle this situation." Mrs. Pierce assured her. "She's been here before with Santana."
"Are the kids with you?" Hannah asked.
"I have Carter and Mackey here with me. They're both asleep, I didn't let them stay up late to watch, thank God. Grey went with Santana to the taping along with Noah." Mrs. Pierce replied.
"Oh God, Grey is going to take that hard." Hannah replied.
"Yes, he's so sensitive and attached to Santana." Mrs. Pierce sighed out. "Hannah, sweetheart I have to go, Mackey woke up and she's calling for me."
"Ok, good night mom, I'll come over tomorrow for lunch still." Hannah told her mother.
"Sounds good, have a good night sweetheart." Mrs. Pierce replied before hanging up the phone.
"I'm Rocsi Diaz and your watching Entertainment Tonight, Hollywood is in a frenzy after singer Santana Lopez has a breakdown on stage while performing live tonight on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Details are very sketchy at this time, but it's reported that Santana was very sweating and shaky both during the interview and the performance."
Quinn ran up to Mercedes house and pulled out her spare key and entered the house. "Cedes?"
"I'm in the den!" Mercedes yelled back.
Quinn quickly ran down the long foyer to Mercedes's den and quickly hugged the diva. "This is bad Cedes." Quinn said while sitting down on the maroon leather sectional.
"Yeah it is, have you talked to Brittany, she should head back to LA like now." Mercedes stated. "I called her but she isn't answering, I called Nikco too but he didn't answer."
"I called Hannah, she said Brittany is back in town and was headed to the studio where they tape the show." Quinn stated.
"Brittany's back?" Mercedes asked while turning to face her.
Quinn nodded. "News to me too, she must have known something was up with San today."
"Mommy can I have some water?" Zacky asked as he came into the den.
"Why are you out of bed Z?" Mercedes asked while standing up and walking over to her son and hugging him. "Did you speak?"
Zacky smiled. "Hi Aunt Quinn."
"Hi sweetheart." Quinn replied with a smile.
"Be right back Q." Mercedes said while grabbing Zacky's hand and leading him out of the room.
Quinn turned up the volume on the TV and turned to CNN as Anderson Cooper began to talk again.
"Thank you for tuning in, we are still covering the story surrounding Grammy award winning singer and actress Santana Lopez. Santana is best known for her hit first single Love and War which skyrocketed on the Billboard charts, and started the string of number one hits for the singer, she is married to famed choreography to the stars Brittany Pierce, together the two have 4 children, 3 of them together, with the oldest son coming before their marriage. We reached out to the Santana's record label, Z Records, which is a division of Sony for a comment but they haven't returned our call.
We do have a fan on the line who was at the taping of the show, Dianna are you there?
Yes I'm here Anderson
Can you describe the scene and the ambiance inside the studio?
It was kind of tense, Santana looked uncomfortable and kind of nervous through the entire interview, I was in the front row and I could see her hands were shaking a little and she kept bouncing her leg
Can you describe what you saw as she performed?
Yeah, she didn't sound like herself for one, she was off key, her voice was shaky, she kept stopping and she was crying, I really hope she is ok
Thank you Ashley, for those of you just tuning in let's show the video once again."
"Sorry about that Q." Mercedes said while sitting back down and handing the blonde a bottle of water.
"Don't be, I have 4 kids, you remember what my house was like when they were his age, hell what my house is like now." Quinn laughed softly.
"What did I miss?" Mercedes asked while turning to face the tv.
"A fan that was in the audience talked about her reaction." Quinn replied.
"We have Demi Lovato on the line, Demi can you hear me?
Yes I can, hi Anderson
Thanks for calling, you are close friends with Santana right?
Yes I am, I actually just had lunch with her a few weeks ago, I wanted to call in and ask people to give both her and Brittany privacy during what I'm sure is a rough time for them. If not for them, for their children at least.
It's a known fact that Santana suffers from anxiety, when you went to lunch with her was she different? Do you have any idea what would have caused her melt down?
No, I'm not going to speak about Santana's condition, that isn't my place, but I am asking people to remember she is human, I think people forget that we are human beings as well, yes we are celebrities, but we hurt, we cry, we laugh, we feel like everyone and I'm wishing only the best for Santana right now.
Thanks for calling in Demi"
Mercedes turned the TV down and sighed. "I sent over security to their house and a police barricade to push the paparazzi back."
Quinn nodded. "Good thinking."
"Hey Quinn." Zack said while kissing her on the cheek and sitting down next to Mercedes on the couch. "I issued a statement on behalf of the label and I just got a call from Sony…." Zack picked up the remote and turned the channel.
"Don't say what I think you are going to say babe, please don't." Mercedes pleaded.
"What?" Quinn asked slowly as she looked between the two.
"Thank you staying tuned to E! News for this special report, for those of you just turning in I'm Terrence J and we are covering the story of Santana Lopez…I just got word her label Z Records has issued a statement.
We are wishing all the best to Santana Lopez at this difficult time for her family; we ask that you give her family the privacy they need at this time."
"What did Sony say Zack?" Mercedes asked.
Brittany was holding Santana tightly and rocking her slightly while humming softly in her ear. After Emily grabbed Santana's pills Brittany cleared out the green room so she could focus on Santana in private. Santana took her pills but couldn't stop crying as she clutched tightly to her wife.
"It's ok San." Brittany said softly.
"It's over Brit." Santana cried out.
Brittany sighed and held her tightly.
"Thanks for staying with us on MTV tonight as we bring late breaking coverage of Santana Lopez, I'm Sway. We have Rihanna on the line. Rih talk to me sweetheart.
I just want send my prayers up to Santana
Thanks for calling in Rih
No problem, she needs us to rally behind her right now, and all my love to Brittany as well right now
We are going to cut to commercial break, wait...I just got word we have Mercedes Jones on the line. Mercedes are you there?
Hey Sway, I'm here
You are one of Santana's best friends, what's gong on? What happened tonight?
I don't know exactly, but I do want everyone to keep Santana, Brittany, and their kids in their thoughts right now, and on behalf of Santana I do ask that people give them privacy at this time, and give their kids privacy at this time.
You are around Santana a lot, can you tell us if she has been different behavior wise lately, or is this as big a shock to you as it was to us?
Again please keep Santana in your thoughts, thanks
Thanks Mercedes, talk to you soon babe.
Thanks Sway"
The limo ride back home was extremely quiet aside from the incessant sounds of Brittany, Santana, Emily, and Noah's cell phones ringing with phone calls, text messages, emails, tweets, and every other form of social media possible. Emily tried to respond to as many emails as possible with a simple 'no comment' reply but they were coming in too fast. The only phone call that was answered was a brief call from Mercedes to Brittany. She warned Brittany of the media frenzy outside of their house and informed her that she called a police barricade to hopefully give them some privacy and keep the paparazzi across the street. Brittany keep the conversation brief with short replies such as ok, thanks, yes, no, thanks Cedes. She handed the phone back to Emily and wrapped her arm back around her wife.
Santana sat in the far back of the limo cuddled close to Brittany's side, she had her legs over Brittany's lap and hid her face in her wife's neck as warm tears continued to spill out of her eyes as her body slightly shook. Brittany had one arm around her pulling her as close as possible, while her other arm rested across her thigh as she rubbed it soothingly.
"Grey, take a shower and get in bed when we get home, you have school in the morning baby ok?" Brittany said softly. "It's pretty late already."
Ashton wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded as he rested his head on Noah's arm. Noah looked down at his younger brother and sighed before ruffling his spiky hair and wrapping his arm around him. "Ok momma." He whispered out.
"Brittany, this is Quinn calling." Emily said while extending Santana's phone to her.
Brittany shook her head. "Tell her I'll call her when I get home."
Emily nodded and answered the phone in a hushed tone.
"Make the noise stop Brit." Santana rasped out softly.
"Ok baby." Brittany said while kissing her on the top of the head. "Cell phones off, no vibrate, turn them completely off please."
Emily nodded and picked up each of the 6 cell phones she was currently juggling and turned them off. "Emily just turn my phone to silence in case my mom calls please." Brittany added. Emily nodded and handed Brittany her personal cell phone.
"Is mommy ok?" Ashton asked.
Brittany quickly nodded. "She's ok Grey, she'll be ok." She said softly with a smile while hugging Santana tighter.
10 minutes later the limo turned down the family's residential street to a beyond chaotic scene. There were news crews from every LA news channel and the surrounding areas, reporters from every magazine, blog, and radio station lined the street across from the gates to their house, and there were tons of fans, many with signs of support, hoping to catch a glimpse of the family. The police had a barricade set up so no one was allowed even on the sidewalk outside their house.
Noah handed the limo driver his card to swipe to open the gates to the driveway as the officers moved the barricades to allow the limo to enter. As the limo entered, hundreds of flashes from various cameras went off with people taking pictures of the to catch sight of the Latina. Once the limo pulled up the long circular driveway and parked at the front door Brittany let out the breath she had been holding since they turned on the block.
"Boys, go straight in the house, stay away from the windows, and get ready for bed." Brittany told them. Noah and Ashton nodded quickly.
Tom got out the limo first and held up a large blanket blocking Noah and Ashton from the sidewalk and escorted them in the house.
"San, baby let's go inside." Brittany said softly while kissing her on the forehead. "Emily, can you give us a minute?"
Emily nodded and quickly gathered her things and got out of the limo and went in the house.
"My career is over Brit." Santana choked out as sobs overtook her body.
Brittany hugged her tightly. "We don't know that Santana, and right now I'm more concerned about you baby. Let's go inside, take a long hot bath, and I can hold you while you get some much needed rest and let the pills settle in." Brittany wiped Santana's tears away. "Come on baby, you need to lie down."
Santana nodded as Brittany knocked on the window and Tom opened the door holding up the blanket to shield them from the public once more.
Once they were in the house Brittany let out a long exhale. "Ok, ummm, Emily clear Santana's schedule indefinitely for now, cancel all interviews, photo shoots, appearances, everything. Call Morris and have him get in touch with the director of the movie and work out something."
"Brit no!" Santana said quickly.
"Not up for debate San." Brittany replied softly while glancing sadly at her wife. "You need a break, you need to get yourself together, before you get any worse, I'm getting a hold of this now, I should have sooner." She sighed. "Sit down and rest, please."
Santana nodded and sat down on the couch. Ashton quickly went over and sat next to her resting his head on her shoulder. Santana wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. "I'm ok Grey." She said shakily as she kissed his forehead.
"But you're still shaking." Ashton pointed out.
Brittany looked over. "Grey, get ready for bed sweetheart."
"I love you mommy." Ashton said while kissing Santana on the cheek. "Good night, I hope you feel better."
"I love you too." Santana replied while hugging him. "I love you so much." Santana broke the embrace. "Thank baby, and good night."
Ashton then went over to Brittany and hugged her tightly. "Take a shower first sweetheart." Brittany said softly. "Good night, and I love you Ashton."
"I love you too momma." He said as Brittany wiped his eyes.
After Ashton left the room, Brittany then turned to Emily. "Cancel my appointments this week as well, call the studio and tell them I need someone to cover, if they can't find another instructor, cancel the class and send out an email to the students in the class that I will give them a refund and schedule make up classes."
"Brit…." Santana started to protest.
"Santana." Brittany said quickly while glancing at her wife. "I need to take care of you right now, I can't lose you too." She said as tears clouded her eyes. "I can't."
Emily nervously looked between the two of them. "Anything else?"
Brittany sniffled and shook her head. "Not right now, I'll call you in the morning if I need anything else. If you get any more calls or emails just keep saying 'no comment' for now." Brittany told her. "Mercedes said Zack had the label issue a statement already so that's all I think we need at this time."
Emily nodded. "Good night ladies, take care Santana." She said softly before leaving the house.
Brittany ran her fingers through her hair and sighed before turning around and walking over to Santana. She extended her hand out to her wife. "Come on baby, let's go upstairs."
Once they were upstairs Brittany led Santana straight to the bathroom and ran a warm bath. She added lavender bath salts and poured in the special bubble bath mixture that she knew Santana loved. She then turned and slowly unzipped Santana's dress and slid it down her body.
"Do you want to take your panties off yourself San, or is it okay if I do it?" Brittany asked her quietly when she stood back up. She didn't know what caused Santana's anxiety flare up and didn't want do anything that would make it worse.
Santana closed her eyes as tears streamed out. "You can." She said shakily.
"Are you sure baby, if you don't want me to, it's ok. I won't get mad." Brittany asked her.
"It's ok Brit." Santana nodded while opening her eyes.
Brittany nodded and slowly slid them down. She then stood up and pulled Santana into a big hug. "I love you Santana, and I'm going to help you through this ok?"
Santana nodded. "I love you too Brit."
Brittany broke the hug and quickly took her clothes off and settled in the tub. "Come on in baby, the water is perfect." She said while extending her hand. Santana shakily got in the tub and quickly leaned back on Brittany's chest.
Brittany held her tightly as they sat in silence; she slowly ran her hands over Santana's sides and thighs. "Relax baby." She whispered in her ear when she felt Santana tense up slightly. "It's just me, relax."
"I'm trying to Brit." Santana said sadly.
"I know you are." Brittany assured her while kissing the back of her head and hugging her tightly. "We'll get through this together San, just like we do everything else, together."
Santana shook her head. "I don't deserve you Brit." She whispered out.
Brittany turned Santana's head to face. "Don't ever think that Santana." She said quickly. "I love you, all of you, your faults, your triumphs….I love you baby." Santana nodded and rested her head back on Brittany's shoulder.
After trying to relax Santana in the bathtub for 30 minutes the two got out and headed to bed. Once they were in bed Brittany moved as close to Santana as possible and hugged her tightly as she softly kissed her forehead and ran her hand slowly over her back.
"Are you feeling better?" Brittany asked.
"A little, I still um, I still feel kind of anxious." Santana admitted. "A little nervous too."
"Thank you so much for telling me that, this is a good start." Brittany told her. "Anything I can do to help you settle down?"
Santana shook her head. "You're here, that's all I need."
"I'm here San, I should have been here sooner, I'm here now baby." Brittany told her. "I'm going to have the kids stay with my mom for a few days."
"Please don't take the kids away from me." Santana said quickly as tears clouded her eyes. "I need you all here with me, please Brit."
Brittany sighed. "Ok, I'll pick up Carter and Mackey tomorrow after school."
"I need them here, I need you here and I'll be ok." Santana said softly while holding Brittany tightly.
"Get some rest baby." Brittany whispered before kissing Santana on the forehead. "I love you."
"I love you too Brit."
3am
Santana jerked awake in a cold sweat, she opened her eyes and saw she was face to face with Brittany and relaxed Slightly. She used her finger to trace Brittany's facial features before kissing her on the cheek and lifting the blonde's arm from her waist to slide out of bed. She sat on the side of the bed and sighed before lifting her wet t-shirt over her head and tossing it on the floor. She shakily walked to the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned on the counter and looked into the mirror sadly.
You're beyond pathetic, look at you.
"N-no, I'm not."
As usual you've screwed everything up. Poor little Santana can't handle anything without running to Brittany.
"T-that's not t-rue. That's not true at all."
It is true...you panicked because you couldn't talk to Brittany on the phone before a performance and now you've ruined your career. Congratulations!
Don't listen to that, you were trying to be strong for Brittany. Brittany understands what you were trying to do.
"That's right, I was just trying to stay strong for Brit." Santana said defensively. "Brit said my career may not be too damaged."
She's supposed to say that, she's your wife. You career is over, no one is going to book or support something that's emotionally unstable
"Brit would never lie to me." Santana yells angrily.
You've let your family down and you've embarrassed not only yourself but Brittany as well. Now she has to clean up and deal with your mess.
"I didn't do it on purpose. I'm fucking human, I had a moment of weakness." Santana said sadly as tears began to stream out of her eyes.
Brittany rolled over in bed and reached out for Santana, when she didn't feel her body she quickly woke up. She looked around the room in a slight panic when she heard her voice coming from the bathroom.
A moment of weakness….hahahaha. You gave up and didn't try, I will always win with you, remember that...I own you.
You won't always win with her, she's tough, she just in a rough patch right now, you'll be fine.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I own you! Your insecurities, your faults, your lies are breaking Brittany down, she'll leave you and I'll win. Again. HAHAHAHA I won tonight didn't I?
"You won't always win!" Santana then yelled out. "You won't always win!" She repeated while slamming her fists on the counter over and over.
Brittany jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where she saw Santana leaning over the sink sobbing. She pulled her into a hug and held her tightly from behind.
"I'm here baby." Brittany cooed softly to her. "I'm here, it's ok."
"I let you down Brit." Santana cried out.
Brittany frowned. "What? No, you didn't Santana."
"I try to be strong and keep everything together so you don't have to worry, I, I try to make as much money as possible so we live comfortably, I try to be as involved with the kids lives so if you have to go out of town, they won't notice too bad if you can't comE to something. I try and I try and I try. I try to be best mother, and wife, and your best friend, and uh, I try Brit. I promised your dad to take care of you and protect you and Hannah and Mama P, and the kids, and I keep fucking up!" She cried out. "And I fuckin lost it on stage." She said angrily.
Brittany wiped her own tears and turned Santana around in her arms. "You don't have to do this alone, we're married Santana. You don't need to overwork yourself, and run yourself crazy with the kids baby." Brittany said softly to her. "You don't have to put so much pressure on yourself, you don't need to take care of everything all by yourself."
"I just…." Santana shook her head sadly. "I ruined everything, I'm going to lose everything now." She added. "Including you."
"I'm not going anywhere San." Brittany told her while lifting the Latina's head to face her. "I'm not leaving you, what are you talking about?"
Santana shrugged and slumped her shoulders.
"Santana, I'm calling your therapist in the morning." Brittany told her. "Will you go to one session please?" She asked her wife. "Something is bothering you, something deep and I don't know how to help you anymore, I don't know what's causing your anxiety to rise."
"I, I…" Santana stuttered out.
Brittany wet a towel with cold water and ran it over Santana's chest and back. "Let's go back to bed." She told her while grabbing her hand and leading her back to the bedroom.
6am
The alarm went off to wake the boys up for school startling Santana and causing her to jump. Brittany felt her jump and tense and opened her eyes quickly and turned the alarm off.
"It's just the alarm San, stay in bed baby, I'll get the boys up." Brittany said softly while rubbing her back and untangling herself from Santana to get out of bed. As Brittany was walking to the bathroom she was a knock on the bedroom door.
"Come in." Brittany said while sitting back down on the bed and handing Santana a t-shirt to put on.
Ashton slowly walked in. "Can I stay home today please?"
"What's wrong Grey?" Santana asked him while sitting up.
"I don't want to go to school today. I want to make sure you're okay." He said softly.
"I'll be ok Ashton." Santana told him. "I just had a bad day yesterday."
"Please." Ashton pleaded once more.
Brittany sighed and looked at Santana. Santana shrugged. "Ashton you can stay home but you can't sit and watch TV all day, I want you to read all morning, and I'll download some worksheets or something for you to do this afternoon after lunch." Santana said softly.
"Ok." Ashton nodded. "Are you feeling better?" He then asked.
Santana sat up and patted the bed. "Come sit with me."
"I'm going to go call my mom, San, and check on Carter and Mackey, then get Noah up for school." Brittany said while standing up and leaving the room.
"I'm sorry you had to see me fall apart on stage last night Ashton." Santana started. "That must have been scary for you to watch."
Ashton cuddled into Santana's side. "A little, I didn't know what was wrong and Noah didn't know either when I asked him."
Santana wrapped her arm around Ashton and pulled him closer. "You know I have anxiety right?" Santana asked. "Remember we talked about that?"
Ashton nodded. "Yeah, sometimes things get too much for you." He replied. "So you had a panic attack on stage?"
Santana shook her head. "Not quite. You know how all the sad things happened this year." Santana tried to explain. "I spent so much time trying to make sure that everyone else was ok that I didn't make that I was ok." She said softly. "Momma, Aunt Quinn, Aunt Cedes, and even Grammy tried to help me but I wouldn't accept their help."
"Why?" Ashton asked while playing Santana's wedding ring.
"I don't know." She sighed out. "Sometimes I try to do everything by myself, to prove I'm strong, but it really shows how weak I really am."
"So your anxiety heightens because of your insecurities?" Ashton asked while looking up his mother.
Santana smiled softly. "Something like that."
"You don't have to be insecure you're the best singer, dancer, cook, hugger, homemade doctor, actress, friend, and mother in the world." Ashton said with a smile. "Well aside from momma too."
Santana wiped her eyes. "Thanks Grey, I really needed to hear that baby." She said while hugging him tightly.
"You're welcome." Ashton smiled. "Can I make you breakfast?"
"Carefully." Santana told him. "Don't use the stove ok?"
"Cool, stay right here. I'll be back." Ashton said before jumping out of bed and running out of the room.
"You feeling up for going to school today?" Brittany asked Noah as she walked in his room.
He was sitting in bed, still in his clothes from the night before, on his iPad. "Look at these damn tweets mom, it's bull shit the way they're talking about mom. She's not crazy." Noah yelled angrily while holding up the iPad.
"Noah, language please." Brittany said softly before sitting down on his bed. "Did you sleep last night?"
Noah shook his head. "I can't go to school, I know for sure I'll kick anyone's ass that say something out of line."
"Stop swearing in front of me Noah, I'm not going to ask you again." Brittany told him sternly. "I understand you're upset, but please stay respectful."
Noah nodded. "Sorry." He then stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I saw you run out on stage and start singing for you mom." Brittany started. "Thank you for that, I know she really appreciated it."
Noah shrugged. "It was no big deal."
"Yeah it was." Brittany said while standing up and walking over towards him. "You performed for the first time in front of millions of people on TV fearlessly."
"I didn't think about it that way, I just wanted to protect mom, even if it was from herself." Noah replied. "Is she ok now?"
You've always been super protective of your mom, or both of us actually. Remember when you were 6?"
Santana was walking with a 6 year old Noah through neighborhood while she pushed baby Ashton in the stroller.
"Grey is sleepy." Noah said while peeping in the stroller at his younger brother.
"Yeah he is." Santana said with a smile. "That's why we are going for a walk, he falls asleep a little faster this way."
"Oh." Noah nodded while taking another bite of his Popsicle and hopping back on his scooter.
"Be careful Noah, remember two hands, you had a bad fall last week out with momma." Santana reminded him.
"But I have a Popsicle." Noah said while holding it up.
"So walk alongside the scooter until you are down with your treat please." She replied.
Noah sighed and angrily got of the scooter and walked next to it as a man came jogging by. Santana offered a polite smile to the man. She then looked down at Noah and smiled. "Mijo, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Noah's eyes widened as he laughed.
"You try." Santana stated while glancing in at Ashton and smiling when she saw he was asleep.
"How much chuck would a woodchuck wood if a could chuck wood?" Noah laughed out.
Santana laughed with him. "Try again baby, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" She repeated slower.
The man jogging backtracked and ran back around towards Santana. "You're Santana Lopez right?" He asked while jogging backwards as she continued to walk.
"Yes I am." She replied politely.
"Can I take a picture to show my wife, she's a big fan." The jogger asked with a smile.
"No!" Noah said quickly.
"Noah…" Santana warned. "Sure, not of my kids though, I don't want them in the picture please."
"Understandable." The man pulled out his phone as they came to stop and leaned forward.
"He's a stranger!" Noah yelled "Stranger Danger!" He then lifted his scooter and swung it hitting the man in the leg."
"Dammit!" The man grimaced while dropping his phone and grabbing his leg.
"NOAH!" Santana yelled out while grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him away. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, are you okay? Shit, do you need stitches or a paramedics, please don't sue, I'll pay for the hospital bills."
The jogger laughed. "It's fine, you won't need bodyguards with a son like this around."
"He may need a bodyguard when we get home." Santana hissed out at Noah who was oblivious to his mothers glare, and offered his own glare at the man.
Noah nodded. "I got in so much trouble when we got home. I promised her when I was 4 to never let anyone hurt her and I meant it."
Brittany nodded. "She's better, yesterday was rough for her. The next couple of days may be a little hard for her, we just need to stay patient with her. You know she'll be up and down for a little while."
"Ok." Noah nodded before hugging Brittany.
"You didn't sleep last night did you?" Brittany asked him taking in his red eyes.
Noah shook his head. "I can't sleep, I wanted to stay awake in case she needed to go to the hospital or something."
"Get some rest Noah, I'll call Quinn and tell her that Eli and Manny don't need to pick you up for school." Brittany told him. "Thank you for taking care of your mom since I couldn't be there yesterday."
"You're welcome." Noah said as Brittany walked out of the room and bumped into Quinn.
"Hey Quinn." Brittany said quietly. "What are you doing here?"
"You didn't call me back yesterday and Mercedes didn't hear from you, we were worried sick, is Santana ok?" Quinn rushed out.
Brittany nodded. "She's better, she took some anxiety pills but it took her quite a while to settle down last night. I don't know if she's up for company right now."
"It's fine." Santana said while walking down the stairs to the second level of the house. "Good morning Q."
Quinn rushed over towards the Latina and hugged her tightly. "Morning San."
2pm
Santana was snuggled on the couch under a blanket in the family room fast asleep when Mackenzie came running in with Shelley and patted the Latina on the leg. "Mommy, can I have juice?"
Santana stirred but didn't wake up.
Mackenzie frowned and patted her leg again. "Mommy, can I have juice, please?"
Santana opened her eyes and looked at her daughter. "W-what's wrong Mackey?"
"Can I have juice?" Mackenzie repeated.
Santana nodded. "Yeah, baby. I'll get you a juice box." She sat up and tossed the cover off of her before swinging her legs off the couch and attempting to stand up. She stood up on shaky legs and only took one step before falling over from dizziness.
"Momma!" Mackenzie screamed while running out of the room.
"Dammit." Santana said softly while rubbing her head.
Brittany came running in the room. "What happened? Are you ok?" She rushed out while helping Santana to her feet.
"I'm fine Brit." Santana said while allowing Brittany to help her to her feet.
"No, you don't get to say that anymore." Brittany replied sternly. "What just happened Santana?" She asked her while helping her sit on the couch.
"Mackey wanted a juice box and I think I stood up too fast because I got dizzy and fell when I tried to walk." Santana told her quietly.
"Your anxiety causes dizziness San, you know that." Brittany said softly while opening the water that was on the table and handing it to her. "You need to take it easy."
"I need to get back to work." Santana replied while taking a sip. "My album is coming out next week Brit, I had interviews and appearances lined up all week."
"No." Brittany replied while taking the water from her. "Please just relax San, ok." Brittany pleaded.
Santana nodded. "Ok, you're right Brit, I'm sorry."
"I'll get Mackenzie her juice box and send her in to tell you about school today." Brittany told her as she leaned forward and softly pressed their lips together. She felt Santana kiss her back and smiled.
Santana laid back down and allowed Brittany to cover her back up.
Mackenzie came back in the room with her juice box in one hand and a wet paper towel in the other. She walked slowly over to Santana and began to pat her head with the cold towel.
"Thank you baby." Santana smiled. "Why don't you lay with mommy and tell me about school?"
Mackenzie smiled and climbed on the couch and snuggled close to Santana. Santana hugged her daughter tightly and kissed her on the forehead.
30 minutes later after talk of Chuckey and Andie and snacks and crayons Mackenzie fell asleep
"San, I'm going down to my office, are you ok?" Brittany asked as she peeped in the room. "I need to send a few emails."
"I'm fine Brit." Santana said softly and she rubbed Mackenzie's back as she slept on her chest.
"Let me take Mackey up to her room." Brittany replied while lifting Mackenzie out of Santana's arms.
"I'm going to go my studio for a little bit Brit, I need to play the piano." Santana said while sitting up.
"Are you still dizzy?" Brittany asked her quickly.
Santana shook he head. "No, I'm ok. I promise Brit."
"Ok, well I'm going to come sit with you down there, I can do my work while you play." Brittany told her.
Santana sat at the keyboard in her studio and looked down at her hands that were shaking slightly. She let her fingers dance over the keys as she found a melody she liked and played it over and over adding extra notes every time she started again.
Brittany came in the studio and sat quietly on the couch and watched her wife.
Santana then began to softly sing.
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
Santana began press harder on the keys and sing with more passion.
look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you
Santana wiped her eyes and stopped playing momentaritly. "Brit?"
"Yeah baby?" Brittany replied.
"Can you come sit by me please." Santana asked weakly. "I need you right now." She added. "My hands are shaking." Brittany got up quickly and sat next to Santana on the bench. "Can you hold me while I finish playing."
"Of course." Brittany said softly as she wrapped her arm around Santana's waist and rested her head on the latina's shoulder. "Is this ok?"
Santana nodded. "Yeah." She then began to play again shakily as she started singing again.
About to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to you
I look to you
And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you
Santana's body began to shake with tears. "Hold me tighter Brit?" She asked quietly. Brittany nodded and wiped her tears away before hugging Santana as tight around the waist as she could.
She began to play quickly and sing with the most passion and emotion she's ever sang with as she continued.
My levee's have broken, my walls have come
Crumbling down on me
The rain is falling, defeat is calling
I need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you, shine on me
She paused as she became too overcome with tears and emotion. Brittany grabbed her shaky hands and held them tightly before kissing them. Santana turned and hugged her briefly, she then finished out the song softly as she picked up the melody on the keyboard again.
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength has gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you
I look to you
I look to you
"Brit, I need your help with my anxiety." Santana finally admitted.
Brittany nodded. "I know you do, thank you for finally admitting it baby."
"I need you Brit." Santana added softly. "I can't do this alone anymore. I can't try to keep it together all alone."
Brittany pulled her into a hug. "You don't have to baby, you've never had to." She added while kissing her on the forehead. "Thank you."
10pm
Brittany and Santana were in the family room watching a movie on TV, when Mercedes came in. "Hey San, how are you feeling?" She asked while quickly hugging her.
Santana shrugged. "A little better, thanks."
"I, uh, I need to tell you something before it hits the news." Mercedes said softly.
Santana sat up from leaning on Brittany's chest. "What?"
"Sony is pulling your album." Mercedes rushed out.
"What?! Why?!" Brittany asked. "It's already recorded and packaged and probably shipped to stores. Why would Zack let that happen?"
"It's not Zack's call." Santana said softly. "Z Records is a division of Sony, if they decide to shelf a project they can do it."
Mercedes sighed. "I'm sorry San, Zack is making a bunch of calls right now to try to get them to change their mind."
"I'm sure he is. I don't blame him." Santana assured her while she turned the TV to MTV.
"Good evening, I'm Sway with your MTV Music Minute, we just received word that Sony has made the decision to pull Santana Lopez's new album Meant To Be. The album was scheduled to release next Tuesday, but now the Sony website is stating the album is postponed indefinitely."
Santana let out a long sigh and stood up. "Thanks for telling me Cedes."
"San…" Brittany started.
"This is my fault Brit, I caused this mess, so now I have to deal with the repercussions. I'm going to bed early. Have a good night Cedes, thanks for stopping by."
Santana turned and left the room. She went up to the bedroom and pulled out her ipad and sat on the edge of the bed and logged into her Twitter account.
SantanaLP – I would like to thank my fans and peers for all their love and support. I am doing much better today mainly because of your many prayers and well wishes.
SantanaLP – I ask that you continue to respect both the privacy not only of Brittany and me, but of our 4 children as well during this rough time.
SantanaLP – I respect Sony's decision to pull my album from shelves next week. I would like to thank them for the great run we had together and all the beautiful and great music I was able to release through them.
SantanaLP – But, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement from the music industry. Thank you for your many years of support.
Santana logged off to avoid seeing the numerous tweets she knew she would receive, she quickly changed into a pair of Brittany's old cheerio shorts and put on a tank top before lying in bed and closing her eyes.
Once again you couldn't take the heat, so you are running away…
Thoughts?