Happy Memory Therapy

Jacob POV

WOWZA. DID I GET SOME COMMENTS ON LAST CHAPTER. LET ME TELL YOU, PEOPLE DID NOT LIKE NESSIE FROM THAT LAST SCENE. GOODNESS PEOPLE, GIVE THE GIRL SOME SLACK WHY DONT YA? OH WELL, I HOPE THIS CAN REDEEM HER.

ENJOY....

It all belongs to SM.

"Because I'm a parent Nessie and right now, I'm the only one our children have." I said it a little hasher than needed and as soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew she was going to be pissed.

Her hand connected with the side of my face and I could already feel the swelling of my flesh because she hit me so hard.

I knew that she was hurting from all of this but I never really meant to upset her so badly but then again, maybe I did. She hadn't even seen Elena of Anthony yet. I understood her need to sit by Jonathan's side because I had that same feeling but she at least needed to see our children before removing herself from reality. This was getting ridiculous and she needed to be the mother I knew she could be.

"If you don't want to be here, then get out." She growled at me and I suddenly felt like prey.

I was so pissed off, I knew I had to get out before I did something that I would regret. This was a stressful time for the both of us so I had to just remove myself from the situation before things escalated more than they already had. It wouldn't do any good to shout and scream at her because I could see that nothing would force her to leave.

I walked out of the room so I didn't scare her but as soon as I was outside, I let my rage go. I didn't even know where I was or what I was doing but my fist went through the pliable plaster of the hospital wall outside of the room.

"Shit." I snarled and felt the bones in my hand distort.

Doc was there in a second and repositioned my hand so that it wouldn't heal incorrectly.

"I guess she's still mad." He said nervously.

"She doesn't even want to see the babies. She won't leave his side." I sat on the floor, leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

"She's just scared."

"But she's a mother. Can't she see that she has to be there for our other babies?" I snarled.

"That's not how she sees it. Right now, her first priority is Jonathan but she's conflicted. Let her digest all of this. You've had two extra days."

He made sense but I still couldn't get over the horrible thoughts I was having about my wife at the moment. She was neglecting her children. She hadn't even held them since they were born.

As much as I couldn't stand Nessie right now, I hated myself more for even thinking what I was. She was thinking that this was all her fault and beating herself up about things that she couldn't even control. I felt for her. I was feeling the same thing she was and I tried to stay strong for my family but my resolve was breaking. I was literally cracking down the middle and my head felt like it was splitting open. What was happening to my life? How could I go from such a high to such a low in the short time of two days? Now, not only was my child dying but my wife heated me and I had just accused her neglect. Of course my mind was going crazy.

"Jacob, let her process things. She's terrified." Doc consoled.

"I know." I held my newly fixed hand and tried to massage the pain out of it, "But she at least needs to see them."

"You can't force her. She'll come to terms with it when she's ready. Think about it, she just woke up from a two day sleep to find out that her son is dying. She feels like she's already lost so much time with him and she knows that Elena and Anthony are healthy so she's just trying to be there for him while she still can, before…. something happens."

He made everything sound so logical and I felt like shit for saying those things to her but that didn't mean I had to like her parenting skills at the moment. I still felt she should at least see the babies.

"Take a break. Go for a run. I'll sit with her." He helped me off of the floor.

"I can't leave. I'm going to go sit with the babies." I padded off towards the room that held Anthony and Elena.

I could already feel my body calming as I approached their door. It was amazing at how easy it was to forget what was going on when I held one of them. I went into the room where Bella was seated singing to them. That should be Nessie. She should to be in here. She needs to be in here.

"How's she doing?" Bella asked as I peeked over into Anthony's crib.

"Not good. She won't even come in here."

"She's just like me. I wouldn't even let Jonathan out of my arms if I was in her situation. She likes to be in control and when she's dealing with something she can't have power over, she cracks." Bella said sadly.

"But can't she see that she has other responsibilities?" I paced.

"It's not that black and white with her. Of course she knows what she should do but her love for that boy is making it impossible for her to leave. She won't make it if he doesn't survive." She patted my shoulder and left me to think.

Did Nessie think that she was the only one hurting? Maybe I was being selfish but then I just thought about what Nessie was giving up. She could make a two-minute trip down the hall to at least hold one of them. They needed her so much right now. Couldn't Nessie at least come say something to them? Read them a story? Anything. She had to see that they needed her just as much as Jonathan.

"Hey you guys." I said calmly as I picked up Elena because she was the one who was awake. She was so soft and fragile. Alice already had her in a light purple onsie that had white stripes going across it. I looked down in the other crib and noticed that Anthony was in the same thing although his outfit was navy and white.

"I see she's been torturing you. You'll get used to it." I sat in the rocking chair near the window and held Elena close to me. She made sweet baby noises and I knew she was trying to talk to me but her physical development wasn't as quick as her mental so she couldn't.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything." I whispered to her as I swayed my arms, "How has your day been? I see Grandma Bella fed you already so don't even try to get another bottle out of me."

She looked at me with pleading, green grass eyes and I reluctantly went to get another bottle for her, "I can already tell that you're going to be a trip when you get to be a teenager but by then, let's hope daddy has stronger will power."

I fed her silently while I watched her take in her milk/blood mixture. We didn't know who the babies were closest to yet but they didn't seem to mind the makeshift formula that Doc created. I guess we would try breastfeeding when Nessie was up for it.

After I fed and burped Elena, she looked like she was getting sleepy so I rocked her a little more and decided to recite Claribel to her. She was out within two seconds but I kept her in my arms because I knew that as soon as I put her down, real world would set in. My mind would go straight back to Jonathan.

Anthony started to stir awake after a couple minutes and I switched them off so that I was rocking him in the same position that I was doing with his sister a couple seconds before.

"And how are you today?" I asked him. He responded with a smile that was toothless but still got his point across.

The more time I spent with Anthony, the more I realized that he had the demeanor that Seth used to. Anthony was going to be that kid who never took anything too seriously and would never be brought down by the pains of life. I was happy that he would have a positive outlook on life and hoped that he be a fairly content person even in this messed up life we lived in.

"You're going to be a handful aren't you?" I asked as he started moving his little legs.

"You want some exercise?" He cooed in response. I moved him so that he was lying down on the bed and started to help him kick his legs. He continued to smile the whole time and made sweet noises as I moved his legs back and forth.

"I hope you realize that you are driving me crazy even now." I made a face at him and he made a gurgled laugh. That sound alone filled my heart and I almost broke down because I was so happy. It was weird to have all these emotions in me but I guess it was normal with new fathers.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said without turning around.

"Jacob, you have a visitor." Esme said and my father rolled into the room with a huge smile. Esme left us to have some alone time.

"Hey son, I just came back from seeing your sister and wanted to make a pit stop."

"Sure, come on in." I picked Anthony back up and gave him to my dad who held him with more finesse than I had ever seen from him.

"He's…amazing." Billy said, "If I start crying, I want you to look away." He laughed with a thick voice.

This wasn't the first time he had seen the babies but every time, he got a little chocked up.

"I promise." I said.

"I can't believe that I got four grandkids in one day. I must be the luckiest son of a bitch alive."

"Dad that one's already starting to pick up the curse words. Let's take it down a notch." I scolded and pointed at Anthony.

"Oh, sorry." He rocked him back and forth, "You're a big guy."

"Do you think any of them will be wolves?" I asked.

"I wouldn't bet against it. Its in our blood Jacob." Billy shrugged, "There's a good chance that one of your boys will have the wolf gene."

If both my boys make it.

No! Stop thinking that way.

I decided to not get into that conversation right now because I had too much on my mind to be dealing with that side of life.

My father continued to hold Anthony until he fell asleep and I lightly placed him back into his crib. I handed Billy Elena and I actually saw him wipe his face but I didn't bring it up.

"How's the other little guy doing?" My dad asked as I sat in a chair. He continued to sway a sleeping Elena in his arms.

"Not so well. He's trying though." I shook my head.

"The Doc tried to explain it to me but I couldn't understand any of it."

"I hope he gets better."

"Did I ever tell you the health scare that you gave us when you were born?" He rolled next to me.

"No. What happened?" I asked.

"You were allergic to some medicine that they gave you and your throat closed up. You spent about three days in the same thing that your son is in."

"I didn't know that." I scrunched my forehead.

"Yup, scared the hell out of us too. I can still remember sitting with you and reading."

"I bet I was doing better than Jonathan."

"Actually no. We didn't even realize your throat had closed up until you started turning blue. By that time, your throat was so swollen, they couldn't get the tube down there. Thank God they did because that was the only thing keeping you alive for awhile."

"What can I do? Tell me what to do." I pleaded.

"Go sit with him. Go read to him. Go be with him, the both of you. That's what he needs right now. He needs you two to show him what he's missing." He gave my knee a squeeze, "How's Nessie taking it?"

"She slapped me." I exhaled.

"She just needs time. Go to her and make sure she knows that you're here." He handed me back Elena and I put her in her crib. He opened the door and once again left me alone with my two healthy babies without saying another word.

I had a new sense of determination now that I heard my dad's story. If I got better, then so could my son. Hell, I had turned blue and I still got better. He had to survive this. There wasn't any option.

I got up from my seat and gave my kids soft kisses before going hack into the hallway. I decided to stay with Nessie next to Jonathan. He was the one who needed us most right now. I promised myself that I would stop off and see the other two every hour but I needed to be there for my son who wasn't doing so well. He needed encouragement and if Nessie was going to stay with him then so was I.

As I was walking towards Jonathan's room, my stomach growled for the first time of the day and I was surprised that I hadn't even thought about food since I woke up. I decided to bring Nessie and I something to eat. If I was starving then I knew she was too because she hadn't had anything since she had gone into labor.

"Here you go." A bubbly Alice handed me a tray that was filled with delicious smelling foods.

"How did you know?" I took the tray from her.

"I was instructed to sit in that chair." She pointed to one by the wall, "And sit there until you came out. Esme said you needed food and I could hear your stomach growling from down the hall." She smiled.

Her enthusiasm was exhausting so I decided to call her out on it.

"How can you be so happy?" I sat the tray down on the counter I was standing near.

"I can't dwell on the negative Jacob or I would never have a happy life. No one can. You have to look at the good. You have two, wonderfully healthy babies and one that just needs a little more love. Don't get bogged down with bad thoughts. Don't worry about the babies. We'll take good care of them. You just focus on Nessie and Jonathan. " She gave my cheek a kiss and then skipped off.

She was right. She was usually always right. Just like with Nessie and I, Alice couldn't see the triplets' future so we had no way of knowing if Jonathan was going to pull through this but I had to think positively. Doc knew what he was doing. He could fix this.

I picked up the tray and made my way quietly into Jonathan's room. It was silent except for the damn breathing machine and Neisse's cracked voice reading to him. She stopped when she heard the door open but didn't turn around.

I sat next to her and placed the tray on the table in front of us. She closed her book but still didn't turn to look at me.

"I'm sorry Ness." I started. I truly was sorry for the things I said to her and I knew that I was way out of line, "I got caught up in what I was thinking and I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean them."

"It's not your fault. I know I'm a bad mother." She sighed heavily but still wouldn't look at me.

I got out of my seat and crouched down in front of her, in between her legs, "You are not a bad mother." I said with conviction.

Her eyes were red, baggy and her skin was a strange gray color that it wasn't this morning.

"Don't make excuses for me. I did this." She nodded to herself.

"This had nothing to do with you Nessie. I know you like to take the blame for everything but you don't have to. This was just a human medical issue that no one could have prevented."

"But…if I was stronger…" She started to cry.

"No, it wasn't your fault." I pulled her into my lap while she cried into my shirt.

"I'm sorry Jacob…for so many things but I'm sorry that I couldn't protect our son."

I couldn't hold back my own tears any longer and let them fall into her hair. This was pure torture. No matter what I said, the fact of the matter was that our son was still sick and we just had to wait for him to get better. There really wasn't anything more we could do and she would continue to take the blame until something positive happened.

"Please don't do this to yourself." I rocked her like she was a child.

"I can't help it." She cried harder.

I continued to hold her until she quieted down, which was about an hour later and placed her back in her chair.

"I'm sorry for hitting you." She said and wiped her face. I handed her the tissue that I was using and she looked at me sadly.

"I deserved it. I shouldn't have said those things to you."

"But they were true. I haven't even left this room to see my children since I woke up. I haven't even looked into their eyes since they were born. What kind of mother am I?"

"One who's staying strong for her son who needs her. Don't blame yourself." I said again and she nodded.

"He's getting better." She whispered quietly.

"How do you know?" I asked and handed her a piece of pizza, which she ate hesitantly.

"He woke up. It was only for a couple seconds but he's responsive."

"Good. Has Doc talked to you about it?"

"Yeah. He said that we should try to take him off of it. I wanted to wait until you got here."

I ate some lasagna that was on the tray, "What do you think we should do?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"I don't know. I really don't. I've been trying to read things but I can't even concentrate. I don't know what will happen if we take him off of it."

I noticed that she had stopped eating so I lifted the pizza to her mouth and fed it to her until it was gone. She drank a whole glass of milk after that and I felt better that she had some food in her.

"I think we should wait another day and then…" I suggested.

"Try?" She asked and I nodded, "I was thinking that too. He's not in any pain but Grandpa said that he can't live like this much longer."

I watched as a tube fed my son some kind of liquid so he wouldn't starve to death and the other tube made his chest rise and fall.

"I just want him to get better." I said.

Nessie and I sat by his side for the rest of the night, reading and telling him stories. He woke up again for a couple seconds and the look in his eyes was so sad. I could tell that he was exhausted and I knew that he couldn't hold on much longer. The poor kid was fighting with everything he had.

Morning came and my heart dropped when I realized that my son might possibly die today. Nessie was in my lap, nodding off but wouldn't go to sleep for fear that she would miss something. I shook her gently until she looked at me with tired eyes.

"I think we have to tell Doc to go ahead and try." I said sadly.

She thought about it for a moment, looked between Jonathan and I before nodding.

I sat her in a chair and then went to go find Doc but I didn't need to because he was standing on the opposite wall. He came in when I opened the door without saying a word and went to Jonathan's side.

"I'm going to try and take him off the machine and I think he should be ok. The main thing is if he will continue to breath and for how long. If he makes it past an hour, we know that his lungs are strong enough but until then, it will still be touch and go." He explained.

"What are his chances?" I held Nessie's hand.

"I'm not sure anymore. He woke up so we know he's strong enough for that but as far as breathing, who knows. Are you two sure about this?"

I looked to Nessie who nodded and I did the same.

Doc let out an necessary breath and began to work.

He opened up the incubator and lightly picked Jonathan up before placing him on a table near us. Nessie cried as she looked at his small body that was connected to tubes. One by one, the tubes began to disappear until there was only one in Jonathan's mouth and I knew that that was the only thing keeping him alive.

"Once I turn the machine off, I'll remove the tube and we'll see how he goes from there. Remember what I said, even though he might start breathing on his own for a couple minutes, it's the duration of time that we need to be focused on."

"Can he hear us?" Nessie asked.

"Possibly. I think he has a better chance if you guys talk to him."

"Can I try showing him memories?" She moved closer but not too close. I could tell that she wanted to pick him up but was afraid. I was too. Jonathan was so little it looked like one movement would break him.

"I think that would be perfect. Show him things about you two and his siblings. He will relate to things that he knows."

I watched in slow motion as Doc's finger pressed a button and everything in the room went silent. There was no more breathing machine, wheezing or inhalation coming from any of the people in the room who were supposed to be. Doc slowly removed the tube from Jonathan's throat and I just waited.

It took a couple seconds but his chest rose and fell lightly as he took his first breath. I counted each time he took a breath because that was another second I could breathe myself. He was struggling but he was doing it. He was breathing and I was just praying that he could hold on. His eyes were still closed but he was moving slowly as he started to come awake.

"He's doing it." Nessie whispered.

"Let's see if he can keep it up." Doc said and sat in a chair against the wall.

Nessie began reading to him again after a couple minutes and it seemed that the sound of her voice was working. He would make small noises and even cried one time. It wasn't loud like it should have been but it was there and I was thankful for it.

At the half hour mark, I was ready to get up and do a happy dance but I didn't move. I wasn't going to risk it. Doc hooked him up to a breathing monitor, which allowed us to hear how deep his breaths were and it seemed like they were getting stronger.

Nessie continued to read and we were almost at an hour when Jonathan started sputtering. It sounded like he was gurgling and trying to get something up.

"He needs to get the stuff out of his lungs. You're going to have to help him." Doc said and gently handed him to Nessie who placed him on her shoulder while patting his back.

"You can do it sweetheart. I know you can. Burp for mommy. I need you to get better." She continued to lightly pat his back but nothing seemed to be happening.

"Show him some memories." I said and tried to keep myself from going insane.

She closed her eyes and I could actually fell waves coming off of her as she poured out her memory into our son. I didn't know what she was showing him but she was muttering things about forests, and First Beach so I knew she was creating pretty pictures in his mind. I heard Anthony and Elena's names said on several occasions and hoped that Jonathan would fight for them if not for himself.

After what seemed like forever, I heard him spit something up and he was able to take one of the strongest breathes yet. I filled my own lungs with air as I realized that he was breathing more steadily and not wheezing.

"I think he's doing it." Nessie said happily.

"Yeah, he's fighting." Doc said and took him back. It looked like Nessie didn't want to give him up but she did.

"So….so he's going to be ok?" I asked.

"I think your son's going to be fine Jacob."

I closed my eyes and felt Nessie's warm arms wrap around me as I thanked every god I could that Jonathan had made it.

HOLY SAVED BABY BATMAN

THIS ONE WAS NICE. I LIKED WRITING IT. FINALLY, ALL THE BABIES ARE HERE AND SAFE. WE CAN BREATH.

I DONT HAVE MUCH ELSE TO SAY ON THIS ONE BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW WHERE TO SEND THEM.

THERE WAS A QUESTION IF I WAS GOING TO DO A PART 4 SINCE WE'VE REACHED CHAPTER 25 OF THIS ONE AND THIS IS WHERE I USUALLY CUT THEM OFF BUT I DECIDED NOT TO. I LIKE THE TRILOGY THING I HAVE GOING ON SO IM JUST GOING TO KEEP WRITING THIS ONE TIL THE END. ITS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE LONGER THAN THE OTHER TWO PARTS BUT I DONT THINK YOU GUYS WILL MIND.

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