Chapter Thirty-Seven: Hang On

Author's note: Sorry for leaving you guys hanging like that. Make sure that you've read the chapter before this one, I know reviews have been down.

Lucas stared at her for several long moments. It was silent. The old, solidly built house affectively blocked out all sound of traffic from the street. Of the children, Bailey was the only who didn't sleep the whole night, but even she wouldn't be up for a few hours. The dog, confused and weary, had barely awoken.

It was just them, and he had no way out.

"Tell me, Lucas," said Brooke firmly. Lucas sighed and raised his eyes to the ceiling.

"I have another kid."

"What?" she asked, looking horrified for a moment. He moved toward her.

"Before we got married," he promised. She raised an eyebrow and stepped away from his invading arms.

"You were supposed to be the good one," she whispered.

"I thought Jake was."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Brooke, I..."

"Don't, Lucas. I can't believe this is happening. I was always the bad one, you know? I slept with Mouth, I flirted with Chris. And you always forgave me. Because you were a gentleman. And all along, I let you be better than me. I let myself feel lucky that you were still in love with me, that you'd always loved me, even when I didn't deserve it. I loved you in return, because I was compelled to, and I was certain you deserved to, beucause I owed it to you. And now I find out that all along, you were the bad one, Luke. Not because you cheated, or because I did, or because you kept a secret. Because you let me feel like less than I was, even though all along, you knew I was more."

Lucas watched as tears began to spill out of her eyes, reluctantly as she obviously tried to hold them back. Part of him couldn't believe this was happening, that their four year good stretch was coming to and end. That somehow, horrifyingly, every word she'd said so far was true.

"And I gave up everything for you! I mean I became this. I'm Brooke Scott, and not a single person out there knows who I am, or what I care about, or what my last name was! From before I turned ten I knew I wanted to marry when I was twenty-six, have one kid, a girl, seven years later after I was all partied out and my figure didn't matter any more. Retire young, live fabulous with lots of nannies. How the hell did I end up here?" she demanded. He watched helplessly as her life around her fell apart.

"I love you," he said desperately. She shook her head in impatience.

"God, you think I don't know that? I wish you'd just stop. I want to leave you, Lucas Scott. I did when I thought you were having an affair and I still do. I want to leave you and take your children and your money and your life until you have nothing, but I can't, can I?"

She turned and began to walk steadily toward the door, throwing her long dark hair over her shoulder, already taller and stronger.

Lucas was only two steps behind her. She gasped in surprise as his hand closed around her wrist and he pulled her sharply toward him.

"You're just going to leave?" he asked.

"You're not leaving me much of a choice," she said. She attempted to pull her wrist away, but his grip didn't waver.

He grabbed her other wrist in his other hand, and pulled her into him. She let out a noise of disbelief as his grip stayed firm while she struggled to break his grip. He held tigehter as her struggle grew, stronger, more desperate, until she collapsed, sobbing into his arms, hating her traitorous body for letting her feel so comforted there.

He held her gratefully, treasuring it as he never had before.

She pulled away before she had fully sobbed away her fear, knowing if she let it out it would never stop.

"Tell me everything, Lucas," she said eventually.

They sat on opposite ends of the same couch. Brooke started off facing outward but realized quickly that it would help to watch him as he tried to save their marriage. She turned around to face him and crossed her legs onto the sofa.

"When?" she said eventually.

"When I left you to go back to LA. After you and Mouth had..." Ironic, she thought bitterly. For so long, she'd thought that the opposite thing had happened, that she'd been knocked up on an accidental one night stand. She resented him briefly, because his was so much easier to hide.

"I met a woman at a party. It was a one time thing, I realized afterward that it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you. I always will, Brooke."

Brooks shivered, glad she was sitting sufficiently far away that he couldn't reach out to touch her.

"The mother told me only after she was born. It was around the same time as Devon's. She didn't want me to be a part of the child's life. It's only recently that she asked. I've beeb emailing the kid, and I visited a while ago," he confessed.

"San Diego," mumbled Brooke under her breath.

"What?"

"The kid? What's it's name?" asked Brooke, ignoring him.

"Marina Alexis," said Lucas. Brooke sighed, asking the question she dreaded.

"Marina Alexis what?"

"Scott," he admitted, knowing inherently that this would hurt her more than the rest.