Chapter 36: On a Hot Tin Roof

As Serena slipped the last diary entry into the scanner, Blair's phone rang. Of course it was Dan. She sighed and looked at Serena with a sad smile.

"By all means go. I am more than capable of sending this off to Gossip Girl on my own. Perhaps it would be best if you weren't here when I did it anyway. We don't want Gossip Girl to suspect we're in this together. She might not assist us if she thinks she's doing us a favor."

"Okay. Look, this might be the last time we can be civil to each other." Blair sniffed. She really didn't like the idea of having Serena go off on her own. It was so nice when they were able to act as a team.

Serena stood and gave Blair a hard hug. "It's going to be fine. We've fought before. We should be experts by now."

Blair extracted herself from Serena's embrace, and kissed her friend on both cheeks. "I know. I know. It's just that I'm tired of fighting."

XOXOXOXOXO

When Blair woke the next morning she felt a glimmer of excitement. When she had checked Gossip Girl's site late the night before, her diary entries were front-page fodder. Dan had somehow maintained obliviousness. He would figure it out though. He was stupid, but he wasn't blind. She looked over at the snoring lump that was Dan Humphrey. She sniffed, and held back a wave of nausea. He reeked. She wondered how long it had been since he had showered. Probably a while, given the state of his hair. She quickly showered and dressed, before fleeing Brooklyn. Hopefully this would be her last walk of shame.

XOXOXOXOXO

She spotted Serena as she passed through the entrance of her home. Serena gave her a heavy look. Clearly, she was anxious to begin. Blair sighed. They may as well start the dance now.

"It's bad enough that you read my diaries, but to expose my naked thoughts is unconscionable," she spat, taking the role of the villain, as she so often did. "Are you happy now? Now that I'm as alone as you are?" The words flowed too easily, as if they had always been there beneath the surface.

"I'm only alone because of you. You had your prince and you had Chuck. You didn't need to take Dan too."

"I didn't take Dan. That's not how relationships work. You would know that if you had grown up at all since high school."

"Oh come on, Blair. You're the one who can't move on. You still love Chuck, and you still won't admit it."

"Get out, I mean it. I want you gone for good. Pack your things."

"You can't hold me responsible for everything bad that has ever happened to you."

"I can, because you are. The best time I ever had was when you were gone six years ago. Leave your key with Dorota."

Blair stalked off towards her room, and then slammed the door shut. She fell onto her bed and started to sob. That had been awful. It was a fake fight and a real fight at the same time. God, had all of that anger really been building between them. Those words weren't all imagined. After a few minutes, she caught her breath and moved to the vanity. She took a few minutes to fix her face. She didn't have time to wallow.

Her phone chimed in with a Gossip Girl blast. This was one she had been waiting for - the admission of her love for Chuck, and her lack of feelings for Dan. She'd go to Chuck now. He would find a way to understand and take her back.

XOXOXOXOXO

Her heart in disarray, she saw him - immaculately groomed and dressed in his trademark purple discussing business in the lobby of the Empire. She watched as his head turned and he noticed her. A hint of a smile betrayed him. He saw her, but did he really see her? Did he have any idea how hard this had been for her to come to him?

A flurry of shooting pain started in on her head, but she ignored it, and she continued to step towards him. If he could just save her. How could he not know how badly she needed him now?

"What are you doing here?" His question was purposely flippant.

She closed her eyes. The pain was coming in streaks against the back of her eyes. She would fight it. She had to.

"I...I came to check on you. Gossip Girl has been posting a bunch of stuff. And, I wanted to make sure you weren't hurt."

God that was weak. Couldn't he see the truth in her eyes? Couldn't he read her real feelings? Couldn't he see that she needed him now?

"Why would I be hurt about something that was in your diary a year ago. We've been through so much since then. Talked about everything. Made amends. Or is there some other reason you're here? Maybe to tell me that you and Dan broke up?"

He wasn't going to save her. He was going to force her to make the move. She opened her mouth to declare her love for him, but pain broke through her mind like a tidal wave. She couldn't do it. She looked away, and fought the tears that threatened. This was not a good day. The diary wasn't enough.

"No. We haven't." Those weak words were all she could manage. The only words she had, and she could see in his eyes that they weren't enough. Finding him wasn't enough. She wanted to die.

"I can't play this game anymore, Blair. I spent this whole year waiting for you. I need to move forward with my life now."

Blair looked away. She was torturing him. Maybe she would never be able to fix it. And she would just leave him in this state of misery and uncertainty over and over again. She couldn't do this to him anymore. "Of course. You're right."

"Unless there's something else that you have to tell me..."

Her phone stung the air, shattering the pent up feelings that hung so heavily between them. Of course, it was Dan, with some ridiculous ultimatum. Would she ever be strong enough to fix this mess?

"I have to go." The words broke from her like toxic waste. She knew Chuck needed her to mend what was broken between them, and she couldn't do it. She could feel the hurt emanating off him as she fled the Empire, as she fled from the only man she had ever really loved.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Blair smiled as her eyes lit on her mother entering her room. It was so nice to have her here, to spend real time with her. When the world had fallen apart in her other reality, her mother had been in Europe, and she had never found out if Eleanor had survived.

"I can't believe how much more grown up you are at your age than I was. I suppose it was the divorce and all of the other mistakes you've already made."

"Well, it isn't going to get easier any time soon. I'm headed for a reckoning. Dan vs. Chuck."

"You always did love Jane Austin."

"As literature not my life. Chuck's made me happier than I've ever been."

"It sounds like you already made your choice."

Blair sighed. "If I was truly powerful, I would be content without any man at all."

"Even moguls have hearts my dear. Trust me Blair, there isn't a woman out there more powerful then you."

"You really think so?"

"Yes. That's why I want you to take over my company. That's what I've been trying to talk to you about. I have decided to retire. I know you've always said that you didn't want any part of what I do."

"Well have you seen my closet? Fashion is art and culture and history and everything that I love combined. But I am not a designer."

"So your first order of business will be to find the right one to take over. So what do you say? Will you do it? Will a real Waldorf woman carry on Waldorf Designs?"

"Yes, yes of course." Blair embraced her mother.

"Hugs, what did I miss?" Penelope asked as she barged into Blair's room interrupting her moment with her mother.

"Knock. Were you raised in a barn?" Eleanor commented.

"What are you doing here? I dismissed you hours ago." Blair turned. What was Penelope's angle?

"Your diary said that I was pathetic for showing up everywhere alone. So I thought we could go the Shepherd party together. But is that what you're wearing? Serena just left here in exactly the same color scheme."

"Give me a minute," Blair said.

Eleanor raised a brow, and Blair nodded. She wished she could spend more time with her mother, but she clearly she wasn't going to be able to avoid this party. She'd have to find a way to drop Penelope though.

As Blair stepped into the closet to hide from the girl, something in her broke. She fell to the floor in shock. Whatever had been controlling her was gone. It had just vanished, as if it had never been there at all. It must have been Serena. But what had her best friend done? How could she have changed everything so quickly? She took a deep breath, steadying herself. She'd go to Chuck.

She went through Serena's room. She didn't want to see Penelope. It was clear that Penelope had an agenda of her own, and she didn't want to get caught up in whatever web she was weaving.

Fifteen minutes later she was entering the lobby of the Empire. Reporters were staggered around the room and Bart and Chuck stood side by side on a podium. Chuck looked so happy to be standing next to his father.

"Thank you Chuck, for keeping my seat warm," Bart intoned. "Starting today, I will be the only Bass in Bass Industries."

Chuck's charming courtesy, fell away as the words broke. This was not what he had wanted.

"Thank you, any questions?"

As soon as the reporters finished with their questions, Blair watched as Chuck whispered in his father's ear. And then she watched them disappear. She sank into one the chairs deserted by the reporters. Chuck must be devastated. She knew how happy he had been that his father had returned and how badly he had needed his father's approval. It seemed unfair that just as her mother had been gracing her with kindness, Chuck's father was annihilating him. Perhaps there could be a way. Chuck wanted a business. They could run Waldorf Designs together. She closed her eyes. She knew in her heart that it wouldn't replace Bass Industries, but maybe it would be enough.

She pulled on her trench coat and tightened the belt. He would be on the roof of course. She went to the bar and ordered a glass of water. She wanted to give Chuck a few minutes to calm down. It would be a mistake to approach him too soon after this devastation. She almost considered holding off a few days. But she was scared that this freedom of hers would disappear.

She saw him staring at the New York skyline. He didn't look happy. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because it's time I was honest with you. I love you. I'm in love with you." It felt so good to say it - to finally be free to confess her feelings.

"So what?"

"So now we can be together."

Why wasn't he running to her? Why wasn't he happy?

"My father was right. I always put you first. And you bet against me every time, and now I have nothing."

"You have me."

"It's not enough. I need a future."

"Then let me be part of it." This wasn't how this conversation was supposed to go. Chuck was supposed to love her back.

"It's not enough." As those words parted from Chuck's lips he was hit with a flood of pain. They had been in the Limo, leaving the hospital. Why were they on the roof of the Empire, in the middle of the night? It wasn't safe. Blair was staring at him. Her eyes were so bright. She almost looked on the verge of tears. She looked amazing. Maybe she was trying a new moisturizer, he'd have to tell her he approved. But for now, he had to make sure she was safe.

"Get out of here, Blair," Chuck roared. "Now."

He stood firmly in place and watched her. Why wasn't she running? Why was she acting like she wasn't in danger. He closed his eyes in relief as she disappeared into the building, and he took slow careful steps towards the door. Surprisingly, there was no attack. As he shut the door behind him, he froze in place, his heartbeat slowly adjusting to a normal pace. Why wasn't she waiting for him? He could hear the click clack of her heels as she made her way down the stairwell. He considered following her, but decided against it. Something was very wrong. He would have to figure out what had happened, before he found his wife.