Ch. 38 Unwilling Hero
(CLARE)
Dallas and I were on the way to my house to have lunch with my family for my birthday, which was technically yesterday but I was so busy yesterday the only one I saw was Jake at school. Dallas parks out front and we get out walking to the front door.
"That's odd the mail box is very full," I comment as we reach the front door.
"Yeah so full there's another box," Dallas remarks pointing to the box on the ground below it full of letters.
"We're here," I call opening the door.
"Hey, Helen and Dad are setting up outside come in." Jake says.
"You know your mailbox is very full." Dallas tells him as we go inside.
"The mailman must have come early; just leave it I'll get them later." Jake says.
"Since when do we get so much mail Jake?" I question as he closes the front door behind us and then something occurs to me. "Is that all for me? Is all of that about this whole thing with Asher?" I inquire.
Jake doesn't answer and looks away, I try and move past him to go to the door and get the mail but Jake grabs my arm and stops me.
"Clare wait don't look, yes most of the mail out there is addressed to you and concerns Asher, the trial and the charges. Mostly in support of you, telling you how brave you are and how rotten Asher is." Jake tells us.
"Then why can't she see them?" Dallas asks.
"Because not all of them are good Mike. Some are bad right, calling me terrible names, accusing me of lying and taking down a good man like Asher. Some probably have threats, threats to hurt me, possibly even death threats." I tell him doing my best to keep my voice steady.
I can feel Dallas tense and his arms come around me pulling me to him and holding me tightly but his voice remains surprisingly calm.
"Is that true Jake? Is she being threatened?" Dallas asks in a steely tone and I can hear how he's suppressing his anger and worry.
"Yes there are a few that are…worrisome. Call Clare all sorts of things, say she's lying and trying to get attention. Yes there are a few that threaten her and yes there a couple that threaten to kill her." Jake tells us.
Dallas lets go of me with one arm and grabs Jake by the shirt. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US THIS BEFORE?!" Dallas screams at him.
"Mike let him go," I insist.
Dallas growls, gives Jake a hard look but lets him go.
"Our parents, Nick, Audra and Omar all thought it would be better if we kept it from you. We were going to show you all the good ones and most of them are good. Your mom was putting them all together with good articles she was saving them for closer to trial when she knew you'd be worried about it." Jake informs us.
I open my mouth to talk and Dallas looks like he's going to yell again but before we can my mom comes in and we all look at her.
"Oh good you're here come on outside," Mom smiles.
The topic is dropped as we follow Mom outside, the picnic table is set up and Glen is barbequing garlic chicken on the grill. We sit down and Dallas puts his arm around me.
"Happy Birthday Sweetie this is from Darcy, she sent it from Africa." Mom tells me handing me a parcel.
"Does Darcy know?" I ask as I begin opening it. "About the rape and the trial and all of that, does Darcy know?"
"No we haven't told her we didn't know if you wanted us too." Mom tells me.
"No I'd rather she didn't know," I tell them but I don't explain why.
After Darcy's gift, a very beautiful bracelet I open the one from my parents and Jake and one from my Dad. We eat lunch and make small talk but all I can think about is all those letters.
"How could you not tell me?" I question when I'm done eating.
Everything stops and they all look at me.
"The mailman came early and they saw all the mail." Jake explains.
"Sweetheart we were going to tell you but we didn't want to worry you. Most of the letters are very good Clare, most of them talk about how brave you are and I have all those." Mom replies.
"You're not the only one who's gotten them either Clare, all the other girls that came forward got them too. You came forward first and you're the face, the one person they always show on the news so you get more." Glen says.
"Are the other girls getting death threats too?" Dallas asks through clenched teeth.
"Yes all the girls have received threats and they all have police protection including Clare." Glen tells us.
"I've never seen an officer around me." I reply.
"The one posted to you stays in civilian clothes and keeps a distance. With Dallas me and the rest of our friends guarding you you're more protected than any of the other girls." Jake tells me.
"I want to see them," I state.
"Of course baby I put all the best ones in some binders and we have boxes of more. I'll just…" Mom is saying when I cut her off.
"No I want to see the other ones." I tell her.
"Clare I don't think you…"
I interrupt again. "I need to see them I need to know, you can't hide it from me anymore." I assert in a determined tone.
There's a minute of silence and then Mom gets up from the table. "Okay come upstairs I have them all in the office." Mom says.
Dallas and I get up from the table and follow Mom upstairs to the office. There's a dozen boxes of letters against one wall and one pretty big one against the other BAD is written in bold lettering across the box. I also see a large binder open on Mom's desk with open letters in it.
"Look Baby, most of them are like this one, just read it and see that other people do support you." Mom insists handing me a folded piece of paper from her desk.
I open the letter and Dallas tightens his hold on me as I start reading. The letter is from a fifteen year old girl that was sexually molested by her step father and never told anyone. She tells me I'm brave for coming forward against someone as well known as Asher Shostak and she wishes she had been brave enough to come forward and tell someone about her step father. Instead she ran away to live with her father and lied about why. She ends the letter by calling me a hero, my mom is smiling like this is a good thing and it only makes me feel worse.
"This is what 95% of the letter say, stuff like this. That you're brave, that you're a hero to these girls." Mom says.
"Could you leave us for a while Mom?" I ask her.
"Sure Sweetheart, we'll be downstairs cleaning up." Mom says and leaves the room closing the door behind her.
"Maybe your mom is right, maybe you should look at more of the good ones." Dallas says going to one of the boxes and pulling out a letter.
He hands it to me and I read it, this one is similar to the last one. It's from an older woman though and she says nothing about ever being assaulted but she calls me brave and a hero. I hand it back to Dallas and he pulls out another one and hands it to me, I have to smirk a little when I read this one.
"Dear Clare, I think Asher is a terrible person and he should die." I read aloud to Dallas.
"See people agree with you," Dallas smiles.
"Wait I'm not done yet," I tell him and continue reading. "You are not only very brave for coming forward I also think you are very pretty. I would like to take you out my number is…"
Dallas rips the paper from my hands and looks at it; his face gets hard, protective and jealous. "Some creep is asking you out after being assaulted! And you are taken. If I ever see this guy I'm going to kill him!" Dallas states.
"Mike," I admonish.
"Are there more of these?" Dallas inquires.
"Mike can we not worry about the delusional boys that think I'll go out with them if they write to me and focus on the people that might want to kill me?" I request.
"You're right I'm sorry Princess." Dallas smiles and puts his arm around me again.
"Are you sure you want to see them?" He asks.
"I have to know Mike." I assert.
Sitting by the box marked bad I pull out a letter and open it. The letter starts off by calling me a lying bitch and gets worse from there. Dallas takes one look at it and punches the wall. After scanning the letter quickly I put it down and pick up another one. This one isn't any better, the first line calls me a whore and says I deserve to die along with all the other sluts that are spreading lies about Asher and accuses us of just trying to extort money from him. When a tear slips down my cheek Dallas wipes it away and takes the letter from my hands.
"Lets get you home; people will be over soon to start setting up for the party." Dallas says helping me up and embracing me tightly.
He kisses me gently, his lips lovingly embracing mine. When he pulls his lips from me I nod. He maneuvers so he still has one arm around me and we leave the office, going back downstairs.
"Thanks for lunch and my presents I love them all but we're going home now. We have to start setting up for the party soon." I say.
"Sure of course Sweetheart, your presents are in here. We'll see you tomorrow after church." Mom replies handing me a tote.
"Thanks for lunch Mrs. Martin we'll see you guys tomorrow and we'll see you at the party tonight Jake." Dallas says.
"Yeah see you guys tonight," Jake responds.
Dallas and I start walking to the door and I stop and look back at my family.
"We're taking the letters, the ones that came today." I announce.
They all just blink at me, finally Jake goes to the kitchen and hands Dallas two totes of mail.
"These are all the ones from this morning," Jake tells us.
"Thanks, no more hiding them. We'll see you guys later." I say and then Dallas and I leave the house.
We put my presents and the mail in the backseat and get in the car. We buckle and Dallas starts driving, I reach into the back and pull out a letter. This one has no return address; I open the envelope and pull out the letter. This one is from another girl; she's seventeen just like me. The whole first paragraph is her telling me how much she admires me and how brave she thinks I am and how strong. How she never would have had the strength to bring charges against anyone let alone someone as well known and connected as Asher Shostak. She ends the letter by calling me a hero, I feel a twinge, an emotion I can't explain and I put the letter back in the bag.
I take a deep breath, pull out another letter and open it. This one is from a girl too, I know because the name at the bottom is a girl's name. She doesn't say how old she is or anything else about her though. The letter is two whole pages about how much she admires me and the other girls for telling our stories. How we're heroes for fighting back and taking him to court and she hopes Asher fries. How she's thinking about us and rooting for us. We arrive home but I don't move from the car. Dallas gets out and comes around opening my door and still I don't move.
"Come Princess let's go inside, we can rest for a while before the others get here." Dallas insists unbuckling my seat belt and pulling me from the car.
He gets all the bags from the back and we go in through the basement. I go straight to the bed and sit down on the floor at the foot. Dallas sits down next to me, setting down the bags and putting his arm around me. I lean on him and he kisses my head. I hear footsteps on the basement steps and I know it's Adam.
"Hey I thought I heard you guys come in. How was…what's wrong?" Adam questions when he sees us.
"She's been getting letters; I guess all the girls have good and bad. Most of them are good and supportive, talking about how they're brave and stuff. But some of them are threatening, calling her a liar and a few other things. A few of them are even death threats." Dallas informs Adam; his tone going from soft to hard and protective to worried.
"People are threatening her, threatening to kill her for what? Taking a pedophile to court?" Adam questions taking my hand.
"Apparently she's been getting them for weeks, since this whole thing first went public. Her parents, Nick and your parents have been hiding them from us. There were a dozen boxes at her house." Dallas tells him as I reach over and pull out another letter.
"Why?" Adam queries as I open the letter and begin reading.
"I guess they were trying to protect her, protect all of us. They didn't want any of us to see the bad ones, to know she was being threatened. They were going to show her the good ones when we got closer to trial to give her a boost or whatever." Dallas says.
"So they were just going to hide them forever? Never le…"
Adam is interrupted by me bursting into tears, I bring my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around my legs and lay my head on my knees as salt water falls from my eyes in waterfalls. Dallas tightens his hold on me and brushes some hair from my face while Adam puts a hand on my arm.
"Princess they aren't going to get anywhere near you." Dallas assures me, taking the letter from my hand. "Wait this letter is one of the good ones, why are you crying?" Dallas inquires.
"Are you kidding it's terrible! That girl is eleven years old, she was assaulted by a camp counselor and she never told anyone and she's calling me her hero. She goes on and on about how brave I am! How much she admires me for coming forward and having the courage to stop him." I bemoan.
"She's right Clare wh…" Dallas tries but I cut him off.
"No she's not! I'm not brave; I'm not a hero I didn't want to come forward at all! Don't you remember? I was ready to run away without even telling you guys. You locked me in a room and forced me to tell you. I didn't want to go to the police at all, I fought it, I was resistant the whole way. I was going to run away and go on with my life, spending the rest of it trying to forget any of this ever happened! I'm not courageous at all but now I have little girls calling me a hero!? I didn't do anything but survive and I barely did that!" I rant through my tears.
Both boys are silent, comforting me with touch but neither has any words. Then we hear a car out front and four doors closing.
"That's probably Eli, Bianca, Alli and Jenna," Adam says quietly.
"I don't want them to see me like this, hide the letters and don't say anything I don't want to ruin my party. Can I lie down in your room Adam?" I request trying to wipe away my tears but it's not working.
"Yeah of course," Adam nods as we all stand up.
"I'll be up in a minute Princess," Dallas tells me giving me a quick kiss.
I nod and then run for the stairs seeing Eli and the girls coming for the doors.
(DALLAS)
Clare goes upstairs to Adam's room and I take all the tote bags, hiding them in my closet just as the other girls and Eli come through the door.
"Okay party decorating committee is here. Where's Clare?" Alli asks.
"She's laying down upstairs; she's just tired after lunch with her family." I lie.
Clare doesn't want us to say anything so we don't, she is right it would ruin her party.
"Well let her rest then, we'll have the place all decorated by the time she comes down. Dave will be over soon with music and to help." Alli says.
"I'm going to check on Clare, call if you need me." I tell them.
"Yeah no problem, Owen said he and Tristan would be over around 4:30 to help set up so we should be fine." Adam tells me.
I go upstairs and open Adam's bedroom door. Clare is lying on her side on his bed, she's crying still but not as hard as she was. She doesn't look at me when I come in but she moves over on the bed so I can lay down with her. I lie down in front of her on my side and wrap her in my arms, kissing her forehead.
"They're setting up downstairs, they'll do it all, you don't have to worry about a thing." I assure her.
"I don't think I can do this Mike, what happens if we lose, what will all those people calling me a hero think then? What about the men that are all threatening me? The ones that want to kill me?" She questions.
"They won't get anywhere near you, ever! Me and the others won't allow it. Don't worry about it now, enjoy your birthday party." I assert holding her a little tighter but careful not to touch her abrasions.
"How can I not worry about it? I know they're out there now, people that want to kill me and people that think I'm some kind of hero!" She bemoans.
I don't know what to say, how to make her feel better. I've had little kids look up to me for playing hockey but it's not the same thing.
"Owen still has Emily's number, maybe you should talk to her tomorrow. She'll understand, she's getting letters too and she would know how to get in touch with the other girls." I suggest.
"Yeah that's a good idea, can you get the number from him tonight?" She asks.
"Of course Princess," I say kissing her gently. "Now we've got about two hours to cheer you up so you don't look so sad at your party, what would like to do? How can I make it better?" I ask her.
"Just hold me and tell me you love me." She replies.
"I love you Princess, more than anything." I tell her kissing her nose.
She just lays there in my embrace, her head against my chest for almost two hours. Just before people are due to arrive we get up, she goes into Adam's washroom to splash water on her face and hide the fact that she was ever crying. Even from here I can hear Owen's voice over the music Dave has going. We go downstairs hand in hand and just before we become visible she forces a smile on her face.
"Hey guys, it looks amazing down here thanks everyone." Clare smiles and begins hugging everyone.
The basement has been thoroughly decorated in purple and gold, royal colors for my princess. There's streamers, balloons and a banner that says Happy Birthday Princess! They even blew up pictures of Clare and her friends, a few of her and me and her family putting them on the walls. They put up colored lights and a disco ball. Audra even ordered a cake shaped like a castle with a little Princess Clare in the tower. I look at Clare and she has a genuinely blissful smile on her face so I relax but only a little. I know I told her not to worry but ever since I knew there were people out there threatening her, wanting to kill her, people besides Asher, I've been very worried.
"I'm just going to change before more people get here; I'll be out in a minute." Clare tells us after she's hugged everyone.
She goes to the closet and gets out some clothes then goes into the washroom.
"Hey you okay? You look awfully tired; I thought you two were lying down." Owen remarks putting his hand on my shoulder.
"We were I need to speak to you guys later but not now." I tell him.
"Yeah sure," Owen responds with a furrowed brow.
We finish getting out the food and Clare comes out of the washroom in a black halter dress that goes to her knee, she looks gorgeous. The girls start complimenting her dress; she goes to the closet and pulls out some heels putting them on. Just as she has her shoes on guests start to arrive. Before long the basement is full, the entire team plus everyone who was already there to decorate and set up, Drew, Connor, Wes, Jake, Katie, Maya, Tori, Zig, Fiona, Imogen, even Marisol and Mo. Clare is happily chatting with some of her friends so I get Adam's attention.
"Grab Eli, Drew and Bianca and go outside." I command and Adam nods.
I grab Owen, Luke and Cam and take them outside; the party is spilling out to the porch so no one pays much attention when we go out. I direct them all to a far corner of the yard so no one can hear us.
"Clare's been getting letters, lots of them since this whole thing went public. Most of them are good; well I think they're good. They talk about her being a hero and being brave for coming forward and stuff like that. There was even one from a guy that asked her out," I tell them through clenched teeth. "Then there's some that threaten her and call her things and some that threaten to kill her." I inform everyone but Adam who already knows.
"Threatening to kill her?" Eli asks looking scared and protective.
"People want to hurt her?" Owen questions in disbelief and a hard tone.
"Her parents knew, so did Jake, Nick, Audra and Omar and they weren't going to tell her, tell any of us. They were just going to show her the good ones when we got closer to trial. She's upset about it obviously, they say she has police protection and I know we've all been vigilant in protecting her but given this new knowledge that other people besides Asher want to kill her now we need to be even more protective. Nothing can happen to her, no one can get near her." I assert in a determined voice.
"Yeah of course," Drew nods.
"We'll keep her safe Dallas; we won't let anyone get near her." Owen assures me.
"She didn't want me to tell you guys tonight but I had to. She's even upset about the good letters; she doesn't feel brave or like a hero. I told her she should talk to Emily, you still have her number right?" I ask Owen.
"Yeah, I'll text it to you." Owen nods.
We all stand there quietly for a minute until we hear Alli yell that Clare is cutting the cake and we go in. Clare is standing at the table with her cake, I go up to her and put my arm around her.
"There you are where were you?" She asks in a low voice.
"Just went outside for some air Princess," I tell her.
She cuts into her cake and takes a slice, I take one and everyone else starts serving themselves. We sit on the sofa soon to be joined by the other two misfits, Alli, Jenna, Bianca and Drew. Clare is happy for the whole party, smiling the whole time, either she's managed to put on a wonderful mask to fool everyone else or she's pushed the letters to the back of her mind. I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much so long as she's happy, I'm happy. She does seem to have a good time, talking, dancing even laughing and she either doesn't mind or doesn't notice that everyone I talked to outside is now sort of hovering around her. Around midnight people begin going home, by one everyone but the Torres brothers, Bianca and Eli have gone.
"Did you enjoy your party Princess?" I ask.
"Yes very much it was wonderful," she says and then yawns a little.
"We can clean up in the morning you all should get to bed." I tell them.
"We're all spending the night," Bianca says.
"That way we'll be here to help clean up in the morning. Alli and Jenna will come back in the morning to help too." Eli tells us.
"We should at least get the food upstairs," Adam says and Clare yawns again.
"You get ready for bed Princess we'll get all the food away." I instruct.
"Thanks for everything guys I'll see you in the morning." Clare tells them.
She takes one of my dress shirts and goes into the washroom, I hear her lock the door and I check the exterior door to make sure it's locked. We start getting the food upstairs and put away but we make sure one of us is always downstairs with Clare. When we're done I say goodnight to the others and go back to the basement locking the interior door behind me. When I get down Clare is already asleep in bed, I get ready for bed as fast as I can and get in with her wrapping her in my arms. She sighs contentedly and puts her head on my chest, I kiss her head.
"I love you Clare Edwards and I swear to you no one will ever hurt you again, I won't allow it." I whisper in her ear, kiss her temple and fall asleep with her in my arms.
Update Soon
If you read Friends With Benefits, Reese Return or I Was At This Party you know this so you can skip this announcement. From the 26th to the 30th I have family visiting and may not be able to update everyday. I will do my best to get up at least a short chapter each day but I may not have the time, I will however still update in order.