Prepare for more fluff! But also angsty Quill backstory.
The restaurant is simple, classic Italian, and they are quickly shown to their table. Kalei orders a glass of wine and suggests that Quill get a non-alcoholic cocktail. Quill arches an eyebrow and orders a ginger beer after finding out that it doesn't contain alcohol.
"So we just… order this fancy food, and they bring it to us?" Quill asks as she looks through the menu. "I get the whole thing with takeaway food, but this stuff sounds like it takes far more time and effort than it's worth."
"Well, that's why it costs more money," Kalei says, amused.
"Still. The effort. Why haven't we done this before?"
"Because until recently, you've lacked the basic table manners."
"Ah."
Kalei nudges her foot under the table, as a way of conveying her lightheartedness, even though she's fairly sure Quill's not one to take offense at such remarks. Quill blinks at her, the corner of her lips dragging upward into a disbelieving smile, before nudging her foot back.
It becomes a quiet war, and Kalei is silently worried about losing to Quill's high heels in a move gone wrong, but before that can happen, they are interrupted by a waiter stopping at their table to set down their drinks.
"Can I take your meal order? Or do you need a bit more time?"
Kalei, realising that she'd just been engaged in a game of footsie, with Quill of all people, covers her mouth with her hand while her cheeks flush bright red.
"Um, a little more time would be great, thank you," she says.
He smiles and nods, and as he walks away, Kalei is grateful that service staff have always seen so much weird shit that they just usually do not give a damn what the customers are doing, so long as they're not making trouble.
"Why have you turned into a tomato?" Quill asks curiously, as she sips at her ginger beer.
"That was so juvenile of us."
"So? It was fun." To make her point, Quill's foot nudges Kalei's again, making Kalei break out into an absurdly large grin.
"The terror of Coal Hill School," Kalei says, "and she likes playing footsie?"
Quill immediately makes a face of disgust. "Footsie? Good god, why do you people come up with the most ridiculous names for everything? Can't we call it foot wars? Or something less pathetic?"
"Of course you'd want to call it a foot war, everything sounds better to you if it's a war."
"Yes, it does."
"Look, just decide what you want to eat, alright?"
Quill, thankfully, is more than happy to direct her attention towards the menu, giving Kalei the freedom to do the same. Kalei spots a carbonara that sounds delicious, and Quill has closed her menu, so the waiter makes his way over to them yet again.
"What will it be?" he asks with a big smile.
"Could we get some garlic bread to start?" Kalei asks.
"Absolutely. And for your mains?"
Quill regards him seriously, leaning back in her chair. "Which meal is the largest?"
"Oh, were you wanting to share something?" He looks between them, but Kalei shakes her head and politely asks for the carbonara for herself.
"No, I'm just hungry, and I have another lifeform leeching off me, so I need twice the amount of nutrients," Quill replies. "So which meal is the most substantial?" The waiter blinks at her, but then smiles and hurries to point out one of the pastas on the menu. She nods. "Alright then, that sounds ideal."
"Great," he says, tucking his pen back into his shirt pocket, once he's scribbled the order down, and giving them one last smile. "Let me know if you need refills on your drinks at any point."
"I bring you to a fancy restaurant, and you're still interested in quantity over quality," Kalei says, once the waiter's walked off, shaking her head.
"Hey, I'm trusting that it's all quality, isn't that the point of this place?"
"Well. Yes, but-"
"Then your argument is ridiculous. It's not my fault you don't have a proper appetite."
Kalei gapes at her. "I'm a good two sizes bigger than you, easily!"
"Two sizes? What are you talking about? You're shorter than me," Quill says, frowning at her. "And what on Earth does that have to do with food?"
"Clothing sizes," Kalei says. "Nevermind."
"Alright, sounded stupid anyway."
Quill eats the garlic bread a little too enthusiastically when it arrives, but it's not the disaster it could be, so Kalei decides to take what she can get. Which is about a quarter of the garlic bread.
The mains go a little smoother. Quill has her large pasta dish which, she grumbles about still being a mediocre size, but devours happily enough and with vaguely acceptable manners once Kalei gives her a few pointers on the utensils. Kalei watches Quill over her bowl of carbonara - which is delicious, making all this absurdity worth it.
"Somehow, this wasn't a disaster," Kalei says after they get the cheque, just as Quill is distracted by the small decorative aquarium by the front-of-house stand.
"Good to know your faith in me is so substantial."
Kalei grabs Quill's hand and links their fingers. "I have faith in you in other things. But, I'll admit, I'm impressed right now."
A woman and her child come to stand next to them, the child as interested in the fish as Quill is. Kalei gives the woman a polite smile, a little self-conscious when the stranger glances at where her hand is linked with Quill's, but then the smile is returned, and Kalei exhales.
"Do you like the fish too?" the little boy, with a mop of curly ginger hair, asks.
"Undecided," Quill replies. "They don't seem overly intelligent. Though, credit where it's due, they have more impressive colour schemes than humans."
The boy giggles. "I know. I wish I was purple."
"Well, we can't have it all. But you could go for purple hair," Quill suggests, and the boy's mother coughs rather pointedly, lifting her eyebrows at Quill.
"Maybe if you ask your mum really nicely," Kalei adds, giving the woman a slightly apologetic look.
She ruffles her son's hair. "Maybe when you're older. And if you ask very nicely."
The boy's eyes are wide. "I will! I promise I will!"
His mother chuckles fondly. "Alright, we'll talk about it. Another day. Maybe." She sighs good-naturedly and smiles at Quill and Kalei, her gaze falling to Quill's stomach. "Your first?"
"First and only," Quill says, snorting. "Any tips?"
"Just treasure every moment," the woman says with a sappy smile as she holds her son to her side with one arm. "They grow up so fast." Her hand reaches out to touch Quill's stomach. "Have you picked a name yet? When are you-"
The woman is screaming before Kalei even sees what has happened. One second, it's a pleasant conversation, and the next, the woman is on her knees on the floor, clutching her hand, tears in her eyes.
"What the hell is your problem?" she asks Quill with disbelief. "I think you just broke my hand!"
"My problem?" Quill asks, equally bewildered, scowling. "What the hell makes you think you have the right to go around touching people's stomachs like that?"
"Oh my god," Kalei says, hand over her mouth. The entire restaurant has gone silent and is staring at them. "Quill, let's go. Right now."
A protective husband appears, almost out of nowhere, kneeling by his wife and looking at them with horror, before addressing Kalei. "Do the world a favour and get your psycho wife some therapy, will you?"
"I-" Kalei tightens her grip on Quill's hand and pulls her towards the door of the restaurant. Once outside, Kalei doesn't stop half-running until they're on the next block.
"You know, humans use the term 'psycho' interchangeably with 'crazy' in ways that they shouldn't," Quill says, thoughtfully. "Psychopathy is a complex thing. I did a lot of reading, and I fit the definition of a secondary psychopath in quite a few respects."
"Which ones?"
"All of them except the anxiety, really." Quill shrugs. "Emotionally reactive, questionable self-esteem, impulsive as hell, general grey areas, definitely hit some of the depressive tendencies while I was a slave, hard, but only as an exterior-"
"I never thought you were this self-aware," Kalei says with interest.
"I'm a mess," Quill says flatly. "It would take an idiot not to notice."
Kalei is immediately thrown back to the scene at the restaurant, and the sound of the woman's scream. "Speaking of, can you not break any more hands of random people we bump into?!"
"She completely violated my personal boundaries without even asking," Quill replies. "She deserved exactly what she got, and she'll think twice before doing that to anyone else cursed with carrying around a parasite in their body."
"Quill," Kalei says, giving her firmest look.
Quill arches an eyebrow. "You can't ask this of me."
"You can't break people's hands!"
"Can I at least whack them away?"
"...that's fine, just no lasting damage!"
"Alright, alright."
Kalei sighs, but finds a stupid smile on her face anyway. "You're the most absurd person I've ever met. I must be absolutely mad, or absolutely making the right decision."
"I think, both," Quill says, smirking, using their joined hands to pull Kalei back into a walk, in the direction of the hotel.
"God, she thought we were married," Kalei says, chuckling and shaking her head. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment? But also, wow. No."
"Right, thanks, good to know that it's such an abhorrent idea, being married to me," Quill retorts, looking vaguely offended, only to make a face. "Actually, fair enough."
Kalei laughs at her. "Did your people even get married? Do you even like marriage?"
"Well, no. But still."
"Before you get any more ideas, I have a strict 'no proposals before at least two years of dating' rule."
"Right, so only about a year and eleven months to go, then," Quill says, with a straight face, before snorting at the look on Kalei's. "It was a joke, Jacobs. Honestly, what makes you think I'd want to marry you?"
"Gee, good point. That thing about you wanting me to move in with you was obviously a red herring," Kalei says, completely deadpan.
"Obviously."
They stop off at a corner store for some chocolate, reply to a text from Matteusz inquiring as to their whereabouts, and then, once back in their hotel room, kick off their high heels and fall back onto the bed.
"Well, at least no one died," Kalei says, putting a square of chocolate in her mouth.
"I like how reasonably low your standards are," Quill replies, taking the whole block and biting into it, much to Kalei's dismay.
"Sometimes, even though I know it's absolutely not the case, I feel like you're doing this on purpose," Kalei says, narrowing her eyes.
Quill smirks.
"Oh my god, you are!" Kalei says, gaping.
"Only this time around."
"I can't believe you!" Kalei squeals, shoving her lightly, only to be shoved back with a half-hearted one-handed move that is twice as effective as Kalei's own, more serious, attempt at a shove.
Quill chuckles when she tries to push back, and next thing Kalei knows, she's on her back, with a pregnant woman straddling her and contentedly gnawing on a chocolate bar.
"You're cute when you're all indignant like that," Quill says, with another smirk.
"Get off, you're heavy," Kalei tells her, frowning. "And don't eat all the chocolate. Straddle me on a hotel bed when your baby has joined the land of the living and is no longer residing in your stomach."
"I'd say it's already in the land of the living. It kicks too well for someone that isn't alive." Quill rolls off Kalei, and sits next to her.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah." Quill rubs her stomach thoughtfully, and when Kalei looks up and over at her girlfriend, she's surprised to see a powerful unhappiness in her blue eyes.
"Andy, what's wrong?"
Quill sighs, and bites her lip. "I just. This… baby. It's not something I got to choose."
Kalei sits up so that they're on the same level. "I - I know."
"I just, I just wanted-" To Kalei's alarm, Quill's eyes well with tears, and a tiny sob escapes her. "I just wanted to be free, you know? For once, in my whole life, I wanted to free. I never have been, not ever. From the moment I was born, I was fighting for the right to exist, I was trapped on a world where who and what I was would never be good enough, not unless I fought to change the core order of things. And so, I did. And where did that get me? Enslaved. The most fundamental part of who I was and what I believed in taken away from me, forced to be at the beck and call of Charles and his mother. God, you know, those months on Rhodia were hell. Even worse than being here."
"Why?" Kalei asks.
"Here, as you know, the prince would be happy to let me run around elsewhere sometimes, if it meant not having to see me. I actually did have some free reign." Quill swallows. "Not on Rhodia. I wasn't even allowed to speak to him, you know, unless his life was in danger. Or speak to anyone, for that matter. I was to speak only to the queen or officials, and only when spoken to first. All the arn were engineered with a base programming that meant the current ruling Rhodia could give us orders. All my people, my officers, they were given the arn too, made to protect members of the government. I'd see them around the palace, and I couldn't even greet them, ask if they were alright, tell them to be strong-" Another sob.
Kalei pulls Quill into a hug. "I'm so sorry, that's horrible," Kalei says.
"When they all died, they couldn't even scream for help," Quill whispers into her neck. "I watched them get cut down, silent all the while. It wasn't until the queen was killed that I got my free speech back."
Kalei feels genuinely sick to her stomach. She pulls out of their hug and holds Quill's face in her hands so that she can kiss her, urgently. She's not quite sure why, but it feels right, and the way Quill kisses her back assures her that it's not just her.
It's I'm here and it's okay and all of that's over now, and Quill rests her forehead on Kalei's when they finally break apart.
"Getting the arn out, I thought I was free," Quill says. "For the first time in my life, I thought that it was my chance. And now - and now it's gone, because this child is going to take everything. If not my life - which is still a possibility! - then my autonomy, my time-"
"I mean," Kalei interrupts, biting her lip, "Quill, if you really don't think you can do this, the Doctor travels through space, right? He could probably find another home for the baby, one where it would be loved and safe-"
"No!" Quill says, with a kind of panic in her voice, her hands clutching her stomach. Kalei is surprised to see something fierce and protective in her eyes. "No, I - I want it. Her. It. I don't know." She shakes her head. "I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if it's something I would have chosen, but it's happened and it's mine. It's Quill. I… I think I could sooner cut off my own arm, than part with it."
There's an odd look on Quill's face. Like she hadn't realised any of this until just now, until the words had physically left her body.
"Oh," Kalei says, genuinely surprised. "Okay. Well, that's…" She wants to say good, or ok, but she's still having trouble reading how Quill is feeling about all this (or deciding how she, herself, feels about all this), and she doesn't want to say the wrong thing.
"Scary," Quill finishes, as a long pause. "It's scary." There's an odd hint of a smile on her lips, though. "But, I don't know, maybe a tiny bit of me wonders if that's alright."
"Every mother-to-be is terrified, that's just a thing," Kalei assures her.
"Oh. Good."
"But I mean… I guess I'm glad you want the baby?"
"Are you? I don't know if I am, and it would certainly make your life a whole lot easier if I didn't want it and just gave it to someone else."
"This has nothing to do with me," Kalei says seriously. "This is about you."
"What the hell am I going to do with her?" Quill asks, looking down at her stomach, hands still wrapped around it. "There was a moment, with a Shadowkin, in the final battle, where I thought - I thought we were lost, the both of us. And I was so scared, Kalei. But for her, not me. I cared even then, even if I couldn't quite accept it at the time."
Kalei gives her what she hopes is a reassuring smile, even though her stomach is turning just at the thought of something happening to Quill and her baby. "It's natural, to feel that."
"But what about when she's not inside me anymore?" Quill asks urgently. "We'll be the last Quill, and she won't even be attached to me. How can I keep her safe, before she's old enough to fight for herself? How can I keep her safe, when I don't even know what the hell to do with a baby?"
An odd laugh escapes Kalei, but before she can say anything, a look of horror crosses Quill's face.
"Oh my god, I think I just understood parenthood," Quill says, aghast.
"You've got a long way to go yet."
"Fair point. I doubt I'll ever understand why some of them literally stalk their children and treat them like morons when they're beings capable of higher thought."
"Yeah, that's called abusive parenting, and you're not going to do that," Kalei says with a frown.
"Oh. Thank god."
The next day is cold, so they bundle up in their warm coats and go for a walk along the beach, which is fairly dismal in the winter weather, but still a nice change from suburban London.
They make it back to Shoreditch in the early evening, making sure to text Matteusz to let him know they'll be back in time for dinner, in case he has any plans on cooking.
"How was - uh, what was it? - Brighton?" Charlie asks when they come into the kitchen. He's sketching again, which Quill apparently suspects is a coping mechanism for the whole Cabinet thing. But Charlie seems in slightly brighter spirits if he's openly addressing them like this.
"There was an ocean, and the weather was cold," Quill replies.
"Oh, and she broke a woman's hand for trying to touch her stomach," Kalei adds, rolling her eyes. "That was a fun time."
Quill scowls. "Yeah, and I might have done it to that handsy bitch at the petrol station on the way back here, too, if you hadn't yanked me out of the way in the nick of time."
Matteusz tries to disguise his laugh with a cough. It doesn't work.
"I suppose it's still better than what I was expecting of her," Charlie says, with a sigh, before becoming very preoccupied with picking a new pencil.
"I just want this thing out of me," Quill complains, looking through the cupboards for something and sighing with disappointment. "I can't drink coffee, or alcohol, she keeps kicking me while I'm trying to sleep, and Kalei won't have sex with me." Matteusz chokes on his coffee, and laugh-splutters while trying to clean his shirt. "The only upside is that it can't scream in this form."
"I do not think that little Quilliam will let you get more sleep once they are born," Matteusz says, shaking his head. "Babies are infamous for depriving parents of rest. Is big thing."
Quill goes incredibly still, and turns on her heel to fix Matteusz with her most dangerous look - the one that's calm, calculating, while she verifies what fate a person deserves.
"I'm sorry," she says, same dangerous mildness in her voice, "what did you just call my baby?"
Matteusz, for once, actually looks ever so slightly worried for his own safety. "...Quilliam."
"...why?"
"Is cute nickname, because we do not know gender yet. Is funny."
"No, it's not."
"Your girlfriend is laughing."
Quill turns around to glare at Kalei, who is trying to smother her giggles. "Kalei, you cannot tell me that such an absurd name-"
"I'm sorry, it's just so cute," Kalei says, biting her lip and grinning.
Quill scowls at them all. "If any of you use that nickname again, I will eviscerate you."
"Well, then in the meantime, you should probably come up with a couple of baby name ideas," Kalei says, making a face. "Because I'm getting the feeling that Quilliam is going to stick, otherwise."
Quill glares. "Don't you dare. I never want to hear that ridiculous name come out of your mouth again." Her hand goes to her stomach, and she makes the face that Kalei now recognises as the 'baby is kicking' face. "See, the baby hates it too."
Kalei's grin widens. "Or, maybe little Quilliam's excited because she likes her name."
"Alright, that's it, we're breaking up."
"Uh huh. Whatever you say, Andy."
And now, the Quilliam argument has begun, lmao. This is gonna be an ongoing thing. Bless Matteusz, honestly.
Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought!