Chapter 38

I paced back and forth in the living room like a caged animal. I heard Peter trying to calm me down but I was far from being calm at that moment. He stepped in front of me and put a hand on my chest to stop me. I glared at him and growled without even thinking about it.

"Stop," he said firmly.

I shook my head. "I almost killed her, Peter!" I yelled at him, like he didn't know that.

"But you didn't," he stated calmly, looking me straight in the eye. "I would never let that happen, brother."

I continued to glare at him but I could feel myself relaxing under his hand. The look and sincerity he gave me was enough to make me understand he truly meant that. I couldn't speak at the moment, so I nodded in acceptance of his words. That was a moment I was thankful that Peter had the odd ability to just know things. He saved Bella and in return he saved me, I would never have forgiven myself. He moved his hand from my chest and pointed towards the stairs.

"Go get her, tiger," he said with a chuckle.

I shook my head at him and gave him a small smile but did as he said. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could but I couldn't open the bedroom door when I got to it. I heard Bella's heartbeat, it had returned to normal and she was sniffling from her recent bout of crying. Char was shushing her and someone, probably Bella, was rocking on the bed.

"Go on," Peter said from downstairs.

With that I took a deep breath and opened the door. Bella was curled up on Char's little lap and she was rocking them both. Her shushing noises didn't cease when I opened the door but she turned to look at me with sad eyes. I hated seeing her pity and feeling it was even worse. Bella was again closed off from me and hadn't noticed yet that I came in. She just sat in Char's lap clutching her newly adorned dark green sweater. It's a good thing she wasn't still wearing that little leather vest, that'd be awkward, I thought causing myself to give a little chuckle at what it would look like for Bella to be clutching Charlotte's chest in that vest. Bella heard me and whipped her head around, her eyes wide. The small smile I had immediately disappeared as I saw the hurt in her eyes.

"Bella, I'm so so sorry, darlin'," I said, walking to the edge of the bed.

Her eyes followed my movement but she didn't say anything. I kneeled down beside the bed, unsure of how welcome I was.

"Can we talk?" I asked with pleading in eyes.

I sent her my guilt and sorrow, unfortunately it hit Char too and she gasped. I broke eye contact with Bella to quickly apologize to Char. Char's red eyes met mine and her sympathy for me skyrocketed. I didn't want to feel that. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to get her to understand I didn't want or need her sympathy.

Her eyes lightened and she began to feel a sense of pride, to which I became very confused about. I didn't think I had said anything but apparently "huh" had escaped my lips. She shifted Bella onto the bed so she could stand up and I stood to meet her, though I towered over her.

"That's right," she said as she placed her hands on my cheeks, her blazing red eyes boring into mine. "I'm proud of you, Jasper. You found your mate-" as soon as she said mate I flinched and she noticed.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't like the word mate. I'm not animal. I don't want to be animal," I said quietly with a sigh.

I looked down breaking our gaze. I didn't want to be the monster Fuckward always said we were. And I was more of a monster, more of an animal, than any of them.

"Look at me, Jasper," Char asked, still holding my cheeks.

I met a new icy stare, the one where she meant business. "You are an animal, Jasper," she began and my eyebrows rose at her words. The conviction and determination she was emanating told me there was more though so I listened. "You are one of the most feared creatures on this planet, you are a super predator, you are a vampire, get used to it," she said with smirk but her emotions did not change, the humor wasn't real. "You are also one of the most feared amongst your own kind. You are Major Jasper Whitlock, that name alone sends fear into those who knew you, those who have heard of you, and those who don't know any better, had better hope they never have cause to find out.

"But Jasper, it doesn't matter what you consider yourself, you know as well as I do we mate for life. Alice was never your mate, you were never as happy as you could be. Bella," she turned her body and focused my gaze on Bella who was sitting in the middle of the bed watching us intently. Her breathing slightly labored, her cheeks flushed with a delicious pink, her eyes wide. "Bella is your mate, Peter knows it, I know it, you know it, Bella do you know it?" she asked and turned to look at Bella who's eyes grew incredibly wider staring at me.

"Char," I admonished as I pulled out of her grasp. "Don't do that to her."

Peter chuckled from downstairs and I briefly glanced at the door when I looked back Bella was towering over me standing on the edge of the bed. Char was across the room snickering.

"Jasper Whitlock-Hale-Cullen, whatever in the hell your name is!" Bella began to yell. "DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD!" she screamed.

I just stood there. She was right, I was trying to protect her in that moment like Fuckward would have and I deserved to get yelled at, but at the same time I wasn't going to apologize. She was upset and just realized she loved me. It almost killed her. I couldn't just forget about that.

She turned her glare from me over to Char who stopped snickering immediately. "Charlotte will you come here for a minute please?" she asked in a fake sweet voice.

I didn't like this but Char was right, I was feared by all and I wasn't going to let this girl who was a 100 pounds soaking wet, scare me. Or at least I wasn't going to let her know I was scared, so I stood my ground. Char was nervous but she came right over to us.

"Can I see your hand please?" Bella asked in the same voice and I could feel Char's reticence but she held her palm out at waist height to Bella which was almost eye height to me. Bella took her hand and kind of bounced it up and down and in hers almost like she was gauging the weight of it. Char and I spared a quick glance wondering what Bella was doing.

Peter appeared in the doorway at that moment and when I glanced over at him I felt a hard smack across my face. Peter burst into laughter, I turned back to look and Char was stunned but it quickly turned into giggles and she took her hand from Bella's and Bella was still standing on the edge of the bed looking rather smug. It was a good thing Peter was already dead because his laughter was non-stop, he was slapping his knee, bending over like he couldn't breathe, and he was putting on one hell of a show. I just kept looking between everyone in the room.

Bella finally dissolved into giggles and fell onto the bed in a heap, Char joined her husband who was still hamming it up and I continued to stand there completely stunned. Bella and Peter were both pointing at me and laughing and Char's laughter was growing. Of course my life only gets better, so at that moment Rose and Emmett appeared in the doorway asking what was so funny. They began to chuckle just looking at me, since I'm sure I looked silly, with wide eyes, looking between the bed at Bella and the doorway where four vampires now stood. I knew what happened. But I couldn't wrap my head around it. Look at Char, look at Bella, look at Char, look at Bella.

"What happened?" Rose asked again a bit exasperated since everyone was cracking up and no one was saying anything, well everyone was hysterical but me. Emmett left her to go scoop up Bella and sit on the bed. He chuckled at her laughter and I realized with the exception of Emmett's and Rose's confusion everyone, including them, was happy. I began to chuckle myself but before I could explain, Peter's big fucking mouth had to open.

"He almost killed her," he said through his laughter and the room suddenly went silent.

"What?" Emmett growled out and hugged Bella to him.

"Em, it's okay," Bella said and patted one of his large arms that was around her small waist.

I saw him let up a bit so I think he was squeezing her too hard but she didn't say anything about that.

"It's not okay, Bella, if he can't keep himself under control-" Bella placed her hand over Emmett's mouth and there were a few giggles throughout the room as he looked at her in surprise.

"Shut up," she added and room dissolved into giggles again, only this time it was Emmett who sat there staring at her with shock and pride.

"I…I…"she looked up at me and gave a small smile.

We made eye contact and I could tell you everything in the world froze at that moment, nothing existed but the woman whose gaze I was lost in.

"I love him," she said softly and the smile on her face got bigger.

Mine grew too and I reached over plucking her from Emmett's arm and kissed her, hard. I let my tongue explore her mouth as I clutched her warm body to mine and I didn't care about the four other vampires in the room. I didn't care that my throat burned like it had been set on fire because of stress, because I hadn't fed in a while, and because of the four other vampires in the room. She loved me!

When I pulled back to let her breathe the room was empty. My throat still burned as though they were there and I realized, "Okay, you guys can come on out," I said with a chuckle and Bella looked at me in question.

I set her down on the floor realizing that that was probably not the most comfortable position for her and then four vampires walked out of the bathroom.

"Well damn! We were hoping things would get good," Peter said as he led the way back into the bedroom.

I chuckled, "Me too." And I gave Bella another quick kiss on the lips. She blushed but said nothing.

"I'm too thirsty though," I said sadly and looked at Bella who quickly tried to take a step back, tripped over her own shoe and fell on the bed. We all got another chuckle out of the look on her face.

Rose brought us out of the loving stare that had started again. "What happened?" she asked and Bella sighed.

"Rose, it was no big deal, really," Bella said and I pulled her up from the bed.

"Let's go downstairs and talk," I suggested, leading Bella by the hand towards the door.

After we had all settled in I began to explain what happened after I arrived at the house. Emmett crowed with laughter hearing that I got a punch in on Peter. Emmett then decked him, himself for letting Bella look at him like that. As I chuckled and Peter rubbed his face a little, I continued to explain that Bella and I had a little make out session and I convinced her to let me feel all of her feelings including the love and fear.

"I was trying to get her to relax because she was sweating and her heart was racing and so I was kissing her. I was honestly scared she was going to have a heart attack or something and then Peter knocked on the door," I paused in my story to give him a nod of thanks and he returned it with a smile. "I was so frantic over the feelings that she was pushing into me I didn't notice she wasn't breathing, I didn't notice I was holding her a little too tight, and I didn't notice I was smothering her," I said and looked over at Bella with an apology on my lips but her fingers stopped me.

I was honestly too hungry for her to be doing that and I know my eyes got darker with my thirst and she immediately pulled away.

"Just don't, it was an accident, we were both overwhelmed," she said and brought my hand her lips. I smiled and gave her a quick nod.

"Okay, I get it you almost smothered her, are you okay, Ballsy Bella?" Emmett asked with concern but a smile.

He knew she was okay. She just nodded her head; and I saw Peter's face light up with the new nickname.

"But what I don't get," Emmett continued, "is what you were all laughing at when we got home? I mean the joke was obviously on Jasper," he said waving an arm in my direction. "Sorry dude, but Bella being smothered isn't funny, so did something else happen or am I going to have to kick a lot of asses right now?" He was totally serious and everyone looked around.

A pillow went flying and he caught it with ease. I turned to look at Bella who smiled innocently and shrugged.

"Ballsy Bella," Peter cackled like an old hen, first at the pillow incident but then he began to explain, "She smacked Jasper…" Peter trailed off in laughter again as Char joined him and Bella giggled when she saw the disgruntled look on my face at the memory.

Rose gasped, "Oh my god! Bella are you okay?"

Rose was at Bella's side in an instant looking at Bella's hands for injury. This made Peter and Char laugh even more and this time I joined in. Bella was attempting to fight off Rose while Emmett sat there plain confused, which only added to the humor.

"She…she…" Peter took a deep breath to explain, "She didn't use her own hand, she used Char's." And then the laughter broke through again.

Rose and Emmett chuckled but still looked confused so, God bless her, she grabbed Rose's hand that was closest to me and smacked me in the face, again!

I growled at her and she blushed with a smile, Rose and Emmett of course finally got it and started cracking up. Spirit who had been sleeping in the living room when we arrived left shortly after the laughter began. After things settled down we began to talk and catch up, keeping things light, and I frequently glanced at Bella who was glowing. It was the longest and the best smile I had ever seen from her and I loved it. I held her hand but we both knew I was hungry and feeling her pulse in her hand wasn't helping me much. I knew I wouldn't hurt her, but tempting myself wasn't relaxing either. Spirit came back and sat in her lap after we had calmed down and Char came over to play with him which I was grateful for. I switched seats with her so she could play with the puppy and she gave me a knowing look.

Bella called her Dad to make sure it was okay that we had dinner at my house, to which he agreed and said he was going to go to Billy's anyway. Rose had stocked a little bit of food at the house and Bella made herself a sandwich and had some fruit. My thirst was very uncomfortable and I needed to hunt. I excused myself from the group as they decided to begin a game of scrabble.

I replayed the afternoon in my head as I hunted and try as I might I could never let the animal in me take over. I mulled over Peter's words, about Bella being my mate. I never really liked the term, it made me feel less civilized but he was right in one respect. I am hers for life. I've known that for quite a while now, but I guess knowing it and understanding it are two different things. She loved me and that fact changed everything. I took down a few deer and I was searching for something more substantial when I smelled another vampire.

I knew that scent. I followed it, not sure if I wanted to find her or not. It couldn't be good if she was in this area again. I came to a small clearing and there she was sitting on a fallen tree, with her face in her hands, she looked up at me with fear and sadness in her eyes and her emotions corroborated that.

"Victoria?" I asked, knowing it was her but unsure of what else to say. She just nodded and stood, she backed up a few steps. I looked around, feeling to see if someone else was nearby. I sensed no one else. She was alone and scared, that much was obvious. Her eyes were an orange color indicating that she had begun drinking from animals sometime in the recent past.

I took a tentative step towards her. I knew her emotions indicated she was of no danger to me but I didn't know if she had any talents and I didn't know if she knew of mine. I couldn't be too careful.

She took a step back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer; if this was about James things were going to get sticky.

I didn't move any closer, she was so nervous she was going to take off at any second. While I waited for her answer I took her in, she was wearing torn jeans and a torn flannel shirt. Her fiery hair was disheveled and full of leaves. It could be that she had just eaten, though it appeared that she managed to not get any blood on her. I knew I was a little rumpled but I didn't look like her. I always took my shirt off when I hunted, it kept Alice from yelling at me about getting my clothes torn, bloodied, or ruined.

"Oh," I said looking down at my bare chest, realizing I still wasn't wearing a shirt.

Her fear was in part from my scars, she could see them, all of them.

"It's okay," I tried to reassure her. "I left my shirt back there," I said pointing behind me. "Sorry, if I spooked you, but again what are you doing here? You know we dispatched of James, I'm sure," I said with a growl.

I didn't mean for to come off threatening but it did. And in some ways I wanted her to know I wasn't going to put up with revenge if that was what she was about. She stepped back again, shaking her head and she put her hands up in front of her.

"No, no, no," she squeaked out.

I stared at her, waiting for more. I was in intimidation mode now and I wasn't going to give that up, until I knew what she wanted.

"I'm sorry. I just, I know you guys killed James…" she paused and then met my eyes with as much sincerity as she could muster and uttered, "thank you."

I was more baffled now than a minute ago, were they not together? They appeared to be a couple, that day in the field, as she laughed wickedly and wrapped her arms around him, she helped hunt Bella. As my thoughts took that turn, I began to growl.

"What do you want?" I growled at her and stepped forward, closing the distance between us quickly. She froze with fear as I advanced on her and I heard her whimper but I didn't care. I reached her and grabbed her by the throat. She gasped and squeaked as my hand took purchase.

"What. Do. You. Want?" I asked, shaking her with every word.

I was feeding on her fear; her eyes were wide as her hands held lightly on to the wrist of the hand that clutched her.

"Please," she squeaked out. "Help."

I was confused and gently relaxed my grasp but did not let her go.

"What?" I asked again.

I was definitely getting frustrated and I let her feel it. Her eyes widened at the sensation.

"Please, I mean no harm," she said releasing my wrist which she was barely holding and held her hands up in surrender.

"Explain," I growled at her. I wasn't giving in just because she was female, she was scared and until I understood she was going to stay that way.

"I don't want to be alone anymore," she said with sadness.

"You hunted my mate," I stated before I knew what I was saying.

I called her my mate. Victoria's eyes scrunched up and I could feel her confusion but it did not outweigh her fear.

"I thought she was Edward's mate?" she asked quickly and then a look of fear crossed her face as my glare turned to rage.

I shook her again.

"You hunted her!" I said, emphasizing my point.

Her eyes dropped and I felt her guilt and shame. "I didn't have a choice, he would have killed me," she whispered.

I let her go but kept a hand on her shoulder.

"Explain?" I asked for the second time.

She nodded and pointed to the log.

"It's a long story," she said, taking a step towards the log and I yanked her back with the hand I still had on her.

"Give me the cliff note's version," I commanded.

I was losing my patience and it was not going to end well for her. She nodded again and began.

As Victoria and I walked through the front door of the house, Rose jumped to her feet and began yelling at Peter, "This is the guest he was bringing back! Do you even know who she is!? What she's done!?" She was fired up. "And you," she turned on me, "What are you doing brining her into this house!?"

Emmett stood and put a restraining hand on her as Bella stepped behind them both. Peter stayed where he was at the table a smile on his face, the scrabble game forgotten, and Char just looked around the room in confusion, but chose to mimic Peter's expression, as she always did.

Victoria cowered behind me and I did not move to touch her but I sent calm to the room. Emmett's hand reached behind him taking hold of Bella's, whose heart was racing and I could see that she was pressing herself against his back.

"I'm sorry guys, but it does seem you were expecting me to bring someone home. I would not have brought her here if I thought she was a danger to us or Bella," I said firmly, trying to explain and calm the room.

"SHE HUNTED HER!" Rose screeched.

"I was there, Rose. Just hear her story and you of all people will understand." I gave her a pointed look.

She looked between me and Victoria. She huffed and looked at Emmett.

"Are you going to let her in here, with Bella here?" She plead to Emmett's protective side. He narrowed his eyes at me and he was nervous and angry. He looked over at Peter who sat with an amused expression at the interactions.

"Bella?" he asked pulling her around from behind him.

Bella looked us over and I could see the longing in her eyes, the longing to be with me, but I wasn't going to leave Victoria unprotected. I opened my arms inviting her in and she looked up at Emmett who still held her hand.

"We can hear her story," Bella said pulling out of Emmett's grasp.

To say I was upset would be an understatement, instead of coming to me, she went to Peter. He opened his arms and she climbed into his lap. WTF? My brain began to spin and I was instantly pissed. Since I had been projecting calm, I began projecting my anger.

"Easy there, Major," Peter said as he pulled Bella closer. "She wants you, but she's afraid of her. I'm just closer to you, so she chose me to protect her. I knew who you were bringing but if I told them, they would've had a fire lit before you set foot on the property."

I looked between him and Bella for a moment, before I pointed to the living room.

"Can we go talk, calmly?" I asked through gritted teeth because I did not like how quickly she had taken to Peter.

She was in his lap. The lap she just saw naked hours ago. She wouldn't let anyone near her for months and the day she meets Peter it's like they are best fucking friends. Spirit chose that moment to come in from wherever he was and jumped up on Bella's lap. Victoria seemed curious about the dog but stayed behind me taking everything in and saying nothing. She was still nervous and very scared. Everyone nodded and made their way to the living room.