"Stupid fucking door!" I scream out all my frustration while jiggling the handle and slamming all my weight against the heavy wood. My arm throbs with pain as I release all my anger against the door but I keep going, until one of us gives, whether it's me or this damn door.
Finally the door flies open, taking my balance along with it. I stumble through the threshold and kick the door shut behind me. I toss my keys onto the table and sigh. This house is way too quiet.
"Regina?" I call out through our tiny apartment as I kick off my shoes. There's no answer so I try again. "Regina?" I make my way to our bedroom to find the door shut, it's never closed. I slowly turn the knob to find a pitch black room, which is odd considering it's the middle of a beautiful summer day. All the shades are drawn with our blackout curtains closed, something we never really use. "Regina?"
My eyes finally drift to the silhouette of my girlfriend's body curled up on the bed. Her back is facing me and I watch the steady rise and fall of her shoulder, so I assume she's sleeping. I gently crawl onto the bed behind her and sneak a peek over her shoulder. If my heart weren't already shattered, I swear I would feel it breaking even further.
Regina's face is buried in one of Henry's plush, Mickey Mouse toys. Her usual flawless tanned skin, is blotchy and stained with tears. Her breathing is still erratic and I'm not sure if she's up or has cried herself to sleep.
I lightly kiss her shoulder and scoot in closer, playing as the big spoon's role. I squirm as close as possible embracing the warmth that is emitting from her bare skin. There's a soft exhale and now I know I'm soothing her pain.
"I love you," I whisper as I squeeze her tight.
She doesn't respond except for a soft hum that vibrates in her chest. I know she's asleep and all I want to do is hold her to make sure she feels safe.
Henry has been gone for two days now and it's honestly been the worst two days of our lives. We filled out all the necessary paperwork against Milah as an unfit parent. We filled out every form to adopt Henry. Went sent in all our information for the background check. Now all we are waiting on, is a home inspection. As soon as we can pass that, the closer we will be to getting our baby back.
Henry right now is with a foster home in the city. Miss Matthews informed us that we could visit Henry tomorrow at his new home and she will be there for the visit as well. She did say that he is having a hard time adjusting. Luckily, he's still eating, but he's not sleeping very well. There are two other children in the home, one boy who is eight and a little girl who is six. Miss Matthews told us that Henry usually sticks by the little girl.
Regina begins to stir in my embrace so I pull her closer to my chest. The brunette slowly spins in my arms and buries her face under my chin. I gently run my fingers through her hair and kiss the top of her head.
"Regina?" I whisper testing to see if she is awake.
"Hmm?"
"Did you stay in bed all morning?" I cautiously question not wanting to provoke her even further. She doesn't answer and I know that's because she's afraid to admit the truth. I pull my girlfriend in closer and continue running my fingers through her tangled locks. "Regina, we have to keep pushing forward. Tomorrow we get to go see him." Warm, yet dry chapped lips press into my chest but no words are spoken. "I bet he's going to jump in our arms and squeeze those chubby little hands around our necks." There's nothing but more silence. "He's going to force us to kiss and then we will both attack him with so many kisses he'll forget how sad he has been the last three days."
"I just want to bring him home," Regina's muffled confession comes out broken and strangled prompting me to pull her in even closer.
"He will...soon. We are what's best for him and everyone knows it." I squirm a little further down so I can nudge her nose with mine. I lightly press my lips to hers, tasting the salty residue from her former tears. My girlfriend shudders as a ragged breath escapes her throat and lands against my lips. "I promise, we will have him soon. He's our baby, he always has been."
"I hope so," she mutters just before she kisses me softly. It's barely a kiss, just a small confirmation that she loves me as her lips still against mine, lingering. Neither one of us pushing further, just staying connected.
There's a rapid frantic knock against our door forcing us to break apart. The knocks comes again, harder then the first time. I roll my eyes and untangle myself from the security of my girlfriend's embrace.
I pad across the apartment with frustration building with every harsh knock against my door. I yank open the door with force and anger.
"What?!" I exasperate but I freeze the moment my mind registers the woman standing in front of me.
"Hey, Henry ready?" She's asks so effortlessly as if she hasn't been missing for the past nine days. My mouth hangs open as mind screams that my eyes are mistaken.
"Is this a joke?" I can hardly push the words from my dry mouth. It's strangled and uncertain but the woman standing in front of me doesn't seem to understand my shock.
Milah pushes her way passed me all twitchy and anxious as her eyes dart around my living room for her child. A child in which she abandoned over a week ago. A child she simply tossed away without a second thought so she could clearly indulge in some sort of binge.
"Emma? Who's at the-" Regina stumbles from our bedroom in utter disarray, squinting from the sudden light. She freezes once her eyes lay upon the unfit mother. Too many emotions flash across my girlfriend's face but she settles with pure rage. A rage that sends a chill down my spine and makes me think she might screw up our opportunity to adopt Henry. I quickly rush to her side to stop any physical contact she might unleash on the sorry excuse of a woman.
"Seriously, where's my kid?"
"Are you out of your mind?" Regina screeches. Her low, dark grumble from a few minutes ago is gone and replaced with the highest pitch squeal I've ever heard.
"You do realize you've been gone for nine days?" I deadpan as I subtly step in front of Regina.
"Nine days? Fuck, I thought maybe three, tops."
There's a deep chuckle but nobody here is laughing. I feel bile rise in the back of my throat and it takes everything in me to keep it at bay. I glance over my shoulder to see a scowl on my girlfriend's face. Her upper lip is twitching and I know she wants to lunge forward and take out all her frustrations on Milah's face.
"Does Henry not mean anything to you?" I gasp out as the unsettling feeling slowly creeps up the back of my neck. Maybe she doesn't love him?
"Oh stop. Don't be so over dramatic." Milah brings her thumb up to her mouth and slowly starts nibbling at her nail. "Where's my kid?"
"Why do you care? Why now? You left that poor baby alone for nine days!" Regina shouts taking one step forward into my back. I try to blindly reach for her hand to calm her down but she doesn't allow me to comfort her right now.
"I didn't leave him alone. He was with you guys. You act like I left him in danger or something." Milah rolls her eyes and continues to obnoxiously chew on her thumb nail. She peeks around Regina toward our bedroom and takes a step forward but my girlfriend and I quickly jump in front of the door.
"We take care of Henry every day. You don't care about his well being at all!" Milah waves me off and tries to push passed me.
"Let me get my son!" She demands but Regina and I stand our ground.
"Tell us why you deserve him?" Regina spits in disgust from over my shoulder.
"He's my son!" She demands with authority but that doesn't stop our anger.
"He's not! He's our son!" Regina declares as her body trembles violently behind me.
"Yeah. Okay." Milah tries again to push her way toward our bedroom but we won't allow her in there. We want her to panic and suffer like we have been for the past week and a half. "Give me my son or I'll call the cops!"
"Oh that's rich," Regina groans behind me and even though I can't see her, I know she's rolling her eyes.
"We already did. Henry's not here," I finally admit. Milah squints her eyes at me like she's trying to read my mind, if I'm telling the truth or not.
"Bullshit." She pushes against my arm and this time I let her go. She rushes into our room but Regina and I stand in the small hallway not moving. "Henry?" Milah calls out, like maybe he's hiding from her. "Henry!" She raises her voice and that's when I hear our closet door opening. In a matter of seconds, Milah is storming out of our room like a bat out of hell. "What the fuck did you two do?"
I grit my teeth as my nostrils flare with so much hate. "What did we do? What did you do?" I snap right back at her and take a stern step forward. "You abandoned your son! You have never been here for him. So we did what we needed to, to ensure that you never put that little boy in harms way again!" Milah snarls at me while her eyes frantically shift all around my face, hoping that maybe I'll cave and Henry will come popping out of some hiding spot.
"Where's my son?" Her nose brushes against mine but I don't even flinch.
"He's safe. Waiting for our approval to adopt him," Regina confidently informs the woman while I smirk in response.
"You can't adopt him! I would never sign over my rights!"
"You don't have to," I enlighten the woman with a sly grin. "We already filed a report against you as an unfit mother. Considering you've been missing for nine days without even once checking in on your son, I think it's safe to assume he will be taken away from you for child endangerment."
Milah blinks once, then twice then a rapid flutter erupts as she tries to comprehend my words. Her face scrunches up as her mind slowly comes to the realization that we aren't messing around.
"He was safe! With you two!"
"He was safe with us. He's always safe with us. That's why he needs to be with us, permanently," Regina replies calmly helping settle my anxious nerves.
"He's not safe with you Milah. Especially when you go off on some drug binge for days at a time."
"I didn't know I was gone that long." Our neighbor's voice is so much calmer now like she's trying to convince us to sympathize with her. "I haven't done something like that since Henry was born. Come on, you guys know that. I just had some extra money and wanted to have some fun. He's always around or I'm always working," she attempts to reason with us but I'm not buying a single word she has to offer.
"Oh come on Milah," Regina breathes out her anger, "...you are always high! After work, you're always late picking him up because you're so far gone!"
Milah now sees that her sad excuses aren't going to work on us. Regina and I have been around too long to know the harsh reality of it all. Something flickers across Milah's face and now she's switched to defensive angry mode.
"I want my son back! So call or do whatever you need to, to bring him back!" The woman screams into my face but again I don't budge.
"No. You're not getting him back. We love him very much and we will fight for him," I declare in the calmest voice I've used since she walked through my door.
"Then I'll see you two in court because there is no way I will ever give you my son!" Milah demands while she trembles with anger.
"That's fine. We are prepared to fight. Anything for our son," Regina taunts pushing her face closer into Milah's.
"He's not your son!" She shrieks so loud that I think my ear drums might erupt.
"Then tell me Milah...why does Henry call us mommy?" Regina's voice sounds all sticky sweet only causing more fury to pulsate off the ill tempered woman.
"He knows I'm his mommy!"
"He does, this is true but he also knows that Emma and I are his mothers as well. He calls everyone else we are close with by their names, but not us. He calls us mommy because he knows we take care of him everyday. He feels the overwhelming amount of love we share for him. He knows that Emma and I will always be there for him and he can count on us to soothe his nightmares when his other mother disappears on him," Regina smugly replies with a fiery passion that sends my heart soaring. I love this woman so much.
"The court will never grant you custody of my child. Not when his real mother is home now. If you two want a child so bad then find someone else's because you can't have Henry!"
"I think it's time for you to leave," I state with authority and push my way passed the livid woman.
I open my door and wait for the woman to follow. She stomps her way over to the entryway and pushes her face into mine. I smile not once wavering under her glare.
"You will never win! I promise you!"
"Have a nice night, alone...again," I sass and take a step back from her face. She huffs and puffs like a disgruntle teenager before she bangs her feet against our floorboards and out the door. I slam the door shut behind her and inhale sharply.
After that, determination ran through mine and Regina's blood. We spent the rest of the day preparing for our visit with Henry. We assembled a small photo album full of our fondest memories with Henry. We thought it would be a prefect gift for him, so he could look at us anytime he wanted while away and for him to know in his heart that we would always come back for him.
We called officer Davis to inform him that Milah had returned. Davis and Vasquez showed up at our apartment so we could explain our confrontation and what was discussed through the heated argument. After they left our place they went next door to place Milah under arrest for child endangerment. Since Milah was arrested and was facing jail time, Belle's father knew someone who could push up our court date.
Milah could spend up to a year in prison for child endangerment. If she is found guilt, then someone would need to foster Henry during that time, but we are trying to adopt him instead.
Belle's father is a very well known attorney and agreed to represent us for free. He explained that it will be hard to adopt Henry during this time. Usually, children enter a foster home until their parent is found stable enough for their child again. Unless the parent is willing to sign over their parental rights, which Milah is clearly not. We were also informed that even though a judge is not suppose to hold anything against us, people who aren't married usually have a harder time adopting than a couple who is married. We knew this wasn't going to be easy but we weren't ready to give up a fight.
The next day Regina and I woke up with the biggest smiles on our faces. Our smiles were shining brighter than the sun glowing through our bedroom window. We finally get to see Henry and we couldn't be more ecstatic.
"I just want to prepare you," Miss Matthews began as Regina and I held hands in a death grip while anxiously swaying back and forth on the porch. "...this can go a few different ways, depending on the child. Henry could be very excited to see you and tackle you with hugs. He could also be very confused and hurt from your separation which can cause him to shy away. He could be angry that you allowed him to be pulled away, even though you had no control and he could end up lashing out on you."
Regina and I sigh heavily in unison as our hands tighten around one another's. We already prepared ourselves for all those scenarios last night as we laid in bed. We were both anxious and unable to fall asleep. We spent half the night thinking of how Henry might react when he saw us and what our response would be in return.
"We understand," Regina replies in her most professional tone while I nod in agreement.
Our hands were slick and clammy from our nerves getting the best of us while we watched Miss Matthews ring the doorbell. We missed Henry more than we ever thought possible which just a reassurance that adopting this little boy is the right move for us.
"Hello Miss Matthews," an older woman greeted us when she answered the door. If I had to venture a guess, I would say this woman was in her mid fifties. If she does have children of her own than they must be in college by now and out of the house. A good reason to become a foster parent. "You two must be Em and Gina, I'm Ingrid," the older woman kindly smiles and holds out her hand.
My girlfriend and I each accept the gesture with warm smiles from our familiar nicknames. This woman feels safe and a perfect fit for Henry...for now. At least that is one less thing we have to worry about at this moment.
"How is Henry?" Regina questions almost immediately. The words burst threw her lips like they have been sitting at the front of her mouth, burning her tongue.
"He's a very sweet boy," Ingrid smiles and sighs signaling there's more to come that we may not be happy with. "He hasn't been sleeping well but during the day, he has adjusted fairly well for a three year old." I offer Ingrid something that's mixed between a smile and a frown. I'm not very sure how I feel at all right now, except for the empty sensation in my heart from missing the toddler. "How about you three take a seat here and I'll run upstairs and bring Henry down?"
Ingrid escorts us to her living room, where Regina, Miss Matthews and I all have a seat on her couch. The older woman scurries up the stairs and suddenly I feel very nervous. My stomach begins doing backflips at just the thought of seeing Henry's little freckled nose. I reach across my lap and gently place a hand on top of Regina's. I squeeze some reassurance into her hand as we stare intently at the bottom of the stairs.
We hear the light steps on the stairs before we see anything. My heart takes off racing while my legs bounce up and down with excitement. Ingrid is holding Henry's little hand as they reach the bottom of the stairs. She tries to lead him over to us but he pauses and she waits patiently by his side.
Regina sinks to the floor leaving me a little confused. My girlfriend slowly crawls over to Henry and soon I find myself doing the same. We reach the middle of the living room and sit back on our heels waiting for the little boy to meet us halfway.
"I told you we would find you," Regina softly purrs trying to help relax our little boy.
"Why don't you say hi to Gina and Em?" Ingrid suggests while patting his little hand.
Henry frowns in return and takes one step back. My heart is slowly breaking all over again and I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. Regina slowly reaches her hands out, openly inviting Henry in for a hug.
"Can I have a hug? I missed you so much my little prince," Regina softly admits with a small frown.
Henry's running across the living room before I have a chance to blink. I smile with every muscle in my face as he crashes into Regina's arms. She cradles his head and slowly rocks him back and forth. Silent tears begin trickling down my face as I watch the most heartfelt moment play out next to me. I scoot closer to the two loves of my life and nuzzle my head against Henry's upon Regina's shoulder. I wrap my arms around both of them and soak up every second of this moment.
"We love you Henry," I whisper in his ear and soothingly rub his back. "Can I have a hug now?" I pout inspiring the little boy to climb into my lap. He holds onto me with everything he has and I know he's terrified we might disappear.
"Henry, we brought you a present," Regina reveals while wiping away some tears under her eyes that are threatening to ruin her makeup. She sniffles while slowly opening the photo album.
"Henry? Don't you want to see?" I question the little boy who still has his face buried in my neck. He just tightens his hold around my neck but remains silent.
"That's okay, I'll just explain everything to you," Regina suggests as she runs her fingers through his hair. "This is a photo album, full of our favorite times with you." Regina opens the album to the first photo. "Look how little you were. This is from the first night you came to our house. You wanted both Emma and I to sit next to you while you watched cartoons!" My girlfriend tries her best to sound over enthusiastic in hopes to push Henry to open up to us again. The toddler keeps his head buried and refuses to loosen his hold on me. "This is a picture Em took. The first time I taught you how to play guitar. You're so smart! You picked it up faster than Em!" She teases eliciting a small giggle from the hiding little boy.
Henry peeks his little head out from my neck and stares directly into Regina's eyes. "You go away again?" He's on the verge of tears from the sound of his voice causing me to hold him even closer to my chest.
"Yeah kid, we have to leave again today but we will see you in two days! We brought you this book so when you are sad and miss us, all you have to do is look at these photos of us," I gently explain and press a kiss to the top of his head.
"In two days, Miss Matthews is going to bring you to us. We have to talk to the judge and explain why we want you to live with us," Regina attempts to explain so Henry can understand.
"Den I go home?"
I catch Regina's sorrowful eyes and frown. We hope he will be allowed to come home with us. We think the judge will grant us custody, but truthfully we are so uncertain how things may work out.
"We are going to try," I reply and hug him close again. "You just tell the nice people what you want in your heart, okay?"
"In my heart Gina and Em are my mommies!" Henry wraps an arm around both of our necks and pushes our faces together. I press my lips to Regina's then we quickly turn our affection on our little boy, peppering his cheeks with all our love.