AN: Well I didn't get as many reviews for the last chapter as the ones before, but I still want to say thank you to the ones that did review and let me know what you thought. Getting and reading reviews means a lot to me. I know that taking a few moments out of your busy day to let me know your thoughts can be difficult, but they are truly apprieciated.

Now this chapter is some bonding time with Jasper and Bella and I through in a mild lemon in there as well. Next chapter will be the battle with the Newborns and that should be exciting.

I don't own the anything, except the plot and Selene. Please enjoy this chapter and only TWO days until New Moon comes out. I am so excited!

Chapter 38: Connections

BPOV

Over the next two weeks we trained during the day as much as possible, but at night we all went back home to rest and relax. Some nights we spent together as a group and played games or watched movies, but other times couples broke off so that they could have alone time that seemed to in rare supply of lately. Tensions were high, but everyone tried to make the best of the situation, however, it was always in the back of our minds that we had a ticking clock counting down the hours until we would go to war.

The pregnancy was moving along as scheduled, but my powers were growing more and more powerful; and I knew that it was because the babies were getting bigger in my stomach with each passing day. I knew that once they were born my powers would shrink a little, but I would still retain all three of the powers together, while each of the babies would only have one. They would be three strong and powerful little girls; and it was a good thing that their family was made up of primarily werewolves and vampires.

Alice took all the girls out shopping one day claiming that we all needed to clear our heads for a few hours, really I think that she was just in need of some retail therapy from all of the violent visions she had started having of Victoria and Maria. Their newborn army had started to move northward and the amount of people that were being brutally killed as their uncontrollable thirst took over was something that no one should be forced to see on a regular basis.

I knew that Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte were having conflicting emotions with facing their sire head on in such a short time. They absolutely hated Maria with all the fires in hell, but there was also a deep hurt and self-loathing that all of them carried from all the violence that they were forced to do under her commands. Their scarred bodies were permanent proof of their past; and it was something that none of them could ever escape. I think that Jasper felt it the most; and we had a heart to heart a couple of days ago that I could not help but think off as I watched him train the family out in the clearing, today, the day before the battle was set to begin.

**Flashback**

I was coming to the Cullen's before everyone else because I had noticed that Jasper's aura was getting darker the longer that he trained us. His sadness, hatred, self-loathing, and bitterness were starting affecting me and nothing I did to try and calm him worked for long. I knew that getting back into the warrior mindset after trying his hardest to move past that violent lifestyle was bringing up a lot of difficult memories for him that he would much rather forget.

I let myself into the house and found Emmett playing some videogames and sitting on the couch. He was so involved in the game that all he could do was give a quick wave over his shoulder and a "Hey little sis" before killing some alien that almost took out his character. I just shook my head at my lovable oaf of a big brother, who acted more like a kid with each passing day.

I walked up the stairs and knocked on Alice and Jasper's bedroom door hoping to find him in there. I heard Alice yell at me to enter and when I did I found her hidden amongst an entire mountain of clothing in her walk-in closet, which was the size of my entire master bedroom.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked as I leaned on the doorframe looking at my pixie sister throw more and more clothes onto the now covered floor.

"Hi Bella, I am just cleaning out my closet, a couple of my favorite designers are coming out with their new lines in a couple weeks and I don't have anymore room; so all of this I am donating to the women's shelter in Seattle. After I finish in here I am going to continue my mission in all of the other rooms, and eventually I was thinking of paying you a visit as well. I found the cutest maternity clothes in an online catalogue and I had to get them for you. What are you doing here, isn't a little early?" Alice was talking a mile a minuet and I barely understood her with her head jammed in behind a wall of hangers. While I agree that her shopping can be a little overwhelming at times, her heart is in it and she truly enjoys shopping for everyone; so who am I do deny her pleasure.

"That's good Ali, I was wondering if you knew where Jazz was, and I need to speak to him for a moment." I asked.

"Sure, he's in his study. I am really worried about him Bella; he has been even more quiet than usual. I know that he comes off as being the aloof and reserved type, and he is to a point, but lately he hasn't said much outside of training, even to me. Maybe you can help him because your powers are so much alike." Alice looked at me and I could see the hurt and concern in her topaz eyes. I knew that I wasn't the only one noticing things; so I knew that this talk was essential.

"I was planning on it. I noticed it as well, but just haven't had any time to get him alone. I'll try and find out what is bothering him. I am sure that he will go back to himself after everything is resolved with Maria and the Volturi. Don't worry Ali everything will be fine." I kissed her forehead and gave her a hug before leaving her to her project.

I walked down the hall to the small study area, which overlooked the backyard and bordering river. I have to say that Jasper's study was one of my favorite areas of the house with its warm colors, big leather chairs, and hundreds upon hundreds of books that lined the walls. It reminded me of an old library; where I could get lost in the pages of an old novel for hours on end. I knocked on the door and waited a few moments, but there was no answer. I cautiously opened the door and looked inside to see Jasper sitting in the dark just staring out of his window into the early morning light.

"Jasper, honey, are you alright?" I asked quietly as I walked over to where he was located.

Monitoring his aura I noticed that his emotions were at an all time low and I knew that he needed my help. I pushed as many calming waves of green from my aura to his dark purple and grey one. He gave a little sigh as he accepted the comfort that wrapped around him like a blanket of protection.

"Jazz, its okay; you can talk to me. I want to help you. Alice and I are really worried about you." I whispered to him as I put one arm around his shoulders. He was silent for a few seconds before he began to talk in a quiet tone. I just listened in silence as he let out everything that was on his troubled mind.

"I never thought I would see her again. Her face and voice haunts me to this very day. Every time I look in a mirror all I see is her and I am disgusted with what I see. Maria made me into a monster of the sickest kind. Did you know that while I lived with her, until Peter came along, I enjoyed killing humans and vampires with a passion? I got off on the greatest high when I was in battle or luring an unsuspecting girl to her death. I was vicious and cruel when I hunted, and I did so without a single ounce of remorse in my body. My favorite hunt was a young female that I would use to satisfy my sexual needs, before I fed off of her blood. When Maria gave an order, I followed it without a second thought, she was my mistress and I literally worshiped the ground that she walked on. Over one hundred years I lived like that and I had no desire to even look for another way to live, I was perfectly content to continue with the way that I existed. I was the Major and every one feared even just the mention of my name."

"Then Peter came along and he somehow was able open some little part of humanity that still existed in my body. I started to question why we needed to kill the newborns after their year was up or why we continued to fight for the same area of land over and over. These thoughts had never crossed my mind before; and then when Peter fell in love with Charlotte I was jealous. I had never been jealous of anything in my existence before because if I saw something I wanted I took it or killed it if it refused to bend to my bidding."

"However, when I felt their bond, the bond of pure love and trust, and then their desire to leave this life of constant war I let my only companions leave me all alone. I could have kept them there with me or went after them and killed them for disobeying my direct orders, but I knew at that moment I could not fault them for dreaming of a better life. I had no such dreams; Maria stripped them all away from me one by one until I was nothing but a viscous killing machine. With my only friends gone I was alone and every time I killed a newborn or fed off a human I became more and more disgusted with myself and the hundreds of bite marks that marred every inch of my body. I felt like I was destined to live in this evil world I had created with my own hand for eternity; and I suddenly hated it with every fiber of my being. Every second that I spent with Maria my loyalty to her as my sire disappeared and I began to loath her for taking my life away and changing me into a monster that bore more resemblance of a demon than a man."

"I was close to killing her or myself when Peter came back for me. It was the first time someone had done something for me without thinking about the dangers to themselves, but only about the love and friendship that we shared. I knew that I was ready to leave that life behind, I was scared, but I knew that something better existed for me I just had to go looking for it. Maria however did not let me go without a fight, but I was able to get her head torn off of her body before I took off running for the hills. I should have burned her before I left; and then none of this would have happened, but at the time all I could think about was getting free of the binds that had kept me captive for so long. Now she is coming back and is after every one of my loved ones, and my Alice. I would not be able to live if something were to happen to her. She is my world, but I know that the only way that I am going to be able to kill Maria is if I revert back to that evil monster that I once was; and I am afraid that once I do that everyone is going to see my true colors and leave me. I don't want you all to hate me for my past, but I know that you will." When Jasper had finished he was dry sobbing into my chest and I had countless tears running down my face.

"Shh… It's okay Jazz. I know exactly what happened in your past because I witnessed it first hand and I could not hate you even if my life depended on it. Did you forget that it was Selene that helped get you to Alice and the Cullen's? She knew that you were good and had a beautiful soul. Everyone has things in their past that they wish they could change, but the thing is to face them head on with the ones you love by your side. Facing Maria will be the closure that you need to finally lay to rest all of these lingering emotions that you have kept hidden inside you for so long, but you don't have to do it alone. I will be there every step of the way, along with Alice, Peter, Charlotte, and every other member of your family. You are loved Jasper and yes you had a violent past, but you changed and learned to love and be loved in return and that is all we care about. You are not the same Jasper that fought alongside Maria. It is time that you embraced the warrior that resides inside you, but it is also time for you to forgive yourself for all the bad you committed because all it will do is make you more miserable. Now, I think that you need to buck up and go spend some quality time with your wife; she has been really worried about you." I gave him a tight hug as I spoke to him in a firm, yet comforting voice. He needed a little pep talk and I was willing to be the one to provide it.

"Thanks Bella, I love you so much. You are the best little sister and best friend that I have. I am glad that I have someone to talk to about this." Jazz kissed my cheek and then made his way to the door.

"No problem, what's family for? I think that I am going to go lie down for a little while, I am suddenly very tired. All this training combined with the pregnancy is just wearing me out. I'll see you later." I said leaving him in the hallway as I entered my room and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

**End Flashback**

Since that talk Jasper has been in better spirits, and he started to take on his warrior persona. If he is going to stand next to me in this battle with Maria and Victoria then I need him to be at the top of his game. I could feel that every one began to relax when he did this because they all knew his past and were just waiting for him to embrace it, instead of hiding from the bad memories.

Everyone felt like we were as prepared for what was to come as we could be, but everyone was still upset that I would be facing the Volturi without anyone there to watch my back. I kept assuring them that everything would be fine; and once this was all over we would be able to get back to our peaceful existence. However, even with Alice and Selene's vision of the battle I still have a sinking feeling that something wrong is going to happen tomorrow. I haven't told anyone my suspicions because it would just cause them all to worry more than necessary, but I am sure everything will be fine.

Watching my family battle with each other in preparation only made me want to get my boys and love home and hold them in my arms safe and sound until we were needed back here tomorrow. Jasper called an end to training and we all headed over to the Cullen's for one last family dinner before we had some private time. Even though the battle would not take place until late tomorrow we all wanted to be stationed in the field early, just in case.

Dinner was a quiet affair, but still nice and full of love and a few laughs. When we got home Paul, Collin, Brady, and I went downstairs to the game room and played a few board games. Around midnight Paul and I both kissed each of the boys on the top of their heads and said our goodnights before heading upstairs to our room. I knew that I would not let this night pass without spending it in the arms of the man I loved worshipping his body. If something terrible happened in the next twenty-four hours then I wanted one more night of pure ecstasy full of passion and desire, but most of all love.

There were no words spoken as he began to pull my shirt over my head exposing my top half to him. I did the same to him before placing soft kisses on his bare muscled chest and caressing his shoulders with gentle touches. I could feel his hot breath along the curve of my neck as he breathed in my scent and kissed me just above my collarbone. We moved slowly across the room and climbed onto the bed. When our lips finally connected I was lost in a sea that was all Paul and nothing else. All I could touch, see, smell was him; there was no tomorrow, but only here and now.

There were no rushed movements or need for domination, but a just a constant build up of showing our love for one another in the most natural way possible. We both removed our remaining clothing; and I could feel his hard erection pressing against my upper thigh. I was wet and ready for him; and knew that neither of us was in the mood for any teasing. With one fluid motion he seated his entire length inside of me. We both let out a sigh of contentment that could only be achieved when we were one like this. In movements as old as time we slowly built up to our climaxes, embraced in each other's arms the way it should always be.

Once our breathing had slowed down and we were snuggled up against each other I could feel sleep starting to claim me. As my consciousness slipped away I could feel Paul's hand caressing my stomach and him whispering how much he loved me and would do anything to make sure that I remained safe. I wished that tomorrow would never come, but I knew that it would and we would fight.

**So what did you think of depressed Jasper? The next chapter is when all the action starts and I wanted a slow chapter and a connection between Paul and Bella before that happens.

**I would love to get to 475 Reviews before the next chapter, so lets have that be the goal and I will update again when we reached it. I know I usually hate authors who do this, but I am working really hard on these next few chapters and I want to know what everyone is thinking because I cannot read your minds people. Thanks in advance and check out my profile if you want as well.

**Please Review and much Love! BR