Not You Again
Chapter 37- Little Kitten
A/N: Wow, your response for the last chapter really blew me away LOL. Y'all wanna hug Damon? ;) I do too honestly! So Damon got tons of hugs! Aw hahaha, thanks for every single hug/review… Bamon do LOVE y'all : ) So anyways, READ on for some Bamon, Bamonators!
I awoke in the middle of that night- the night of the funeral, I mean. I climbed out of bed, sweating, and in need of a good glass of water. My stomach was throbbing too and I'd forgotten to take my doze of pain meds for the night. I pulled the pills out of the box and started downstairs. Thankfully, the kitchen was empty and I easily poured myself a cool glass of water before I gulped down my pills. I sat down at the kitchen table for a few minutes as my stomach calmed down before I walked out of the kitchen, swiping my forehead.
I'd dreamt of that night when I'd fought with Damon because of the marriage thing- not really thought but I'd said 'no' and I felt terrible about it. If what Damon and I had was true love, then I shouldn't let anything get between it. Not Klaus, not Trevor not anything. But I couldn't be unfaithful to Klaus either. I was so confused as to what to do and I was sick of being so confused. I couldn't wait to get to New York to clear everything up.
I sighed and heard movement out on the terrace so I peered out stealthily, feeling like a ninja slinking through the house at night- as ninja like as a petite pregnant brunette could feel anyway. I spotted Damon sitting by the pool, his bare feet dipped into it and his trouser bottoms rolled up to his knees. I slowly walked over to him, throwing my slippers off and climbing beside him. I was wearing shorts so I let my feet dangle in the water, feeling instantly soothed by the lucid chilly water.
"Hi," I spoke, taking a sip of water and placing the cup beside me. I wiggled my toes in the water but Damon didn't reply. I noticed he had a glass of something alcoholic in his hand and wondered if it was the best idea for him to hang out around the pool with a drink that could possibly make him drunk and then he might trip over and drown… I pushed those overactive thoughts away and touched Damon's shoulder, noticing that he had a faraway look on his face.
"May I join you?" I asked, a moment later, tentatively placing my hand to his cheek.
Damon took a swig of his drink then looked over to me and nodded, "Sure, yeah… sorry, I'm just thinking," He commented, taking another sip before offering me the drink. "Bourbon?"
I shook my head, "I'm pregnant remember?" I countered, taking a dainty sip of water.
Damon nodded, slapping himself in the forehead. "Right, stupid me," He sounded so self-wallowing, I took pity on him.
"No, you're not. We all forget. Sometimes forgetfulness is bliss," I commented prophetically and Damon smiled.
He sighed, "Even this doesn't make me forget, no matter how much I want to…" He held up the glass of swirly bronze colored liquid. "It doesn't take away the pain,"
"You don't need it to take away the pain. Time does that easily," I grabbed the cup, placing it to my side next to my own water. Damon didn't react. He just sat there and nodded.
"You're right. But if I get drunk, I'll forget too," He countered, a slight smirk on his lips.
"Maybe but it can only numb the pain temporarily," I advised, "And you'll wake up with a big ass hangover,"
Damon made a face, "I hate those hangovers… Do you know one summer while I was here I went out with Stefan to a party and I came back so drunk I couldn't walk? Guiseppe wouldn't let me into the house and he locked me out here by the pool. I got so drunk I passed out on this exact deck chair," He smiled nostalgically, "And the next morning I threw up next to the pool. The gardener wasn't pleased to say the least and Guiseppe was pissed as hell," He chuckled bitterly and I realized he needed to vent so I just let him speak. And to be honest, I liked learning stuff about Damon that hardly anyone knew.
"I'd be mad too," I commented to keep conversation going. "Tell me more about you and your childhood," I added, with a smile.
Damon nodded, "If you really want to hear… Um, you know back in High School when I failed 3 subjects in Freshman year and I had to go to Summer school which was awful by the way?" I nodded in acknowledgment because it was the only summer I'd seen Damon around Mystic Falls, "well, Guiseppe found out and he was going to have a cow. He called me a failure as a son and I know now that he was right…. I needed to work harder in school. I should've in fact, but I was stubborn and I just wanted to have a good time," He explained nonchalantly.
"That's reasonable," I put in and Damon rolled his eyes.
"Maybe but this isn't… I remember once being so mad at Guiseppe because he'd put me down that I'd thrown his favorite crystal vases that were in his study across the ground, smashing them. They'd belonged to his Grandma," He admitted, "And I was so reckless and mad at him… I think it was after graduation when I didn't get into Harvard or any Ivy League schools like Stefan had,"
"What about you as a child? How was life before your parents divorced?" I pressed, looking at him thoughtfully.
Damon sighed, "Before Stefan was born, I remember Guiseppe being harsh but bearable. After Stefan, his little prince, was born, he started to compare us and that hurt me so much. I covered that hurt with hatred because it's so much easier to hate than to care and hurt inside," He informed me, "Like once, I had a soccer competition at school and Guiseppe wouldn't come because he thought that soccer was a wimpy pastime and that Stefan's endeavors in the school science club's scholastic decathlon were more important and more deserving of his time… the day of that competition, I remember waiting for Guiseppe to show up and he never came… Mom had work so I didn't expect her to come but Guiseppe had said he'd try to stop by and he just didn't… and I found out later he'd been at Stefan's thing and then he took him out to celebrate for icecreams," I could feel the pain in his voice and in that second, I imagined Damon as a little boy with scruffy black hair and hopeful blue eyes waiting for his father to come and he never did. I could see the hope dim in his eyes as the time got later and then disappear completely when he realized Guiseppe would be a no show. "I screwed up that game needless to say,"
"Aww, Damon. But that was the old Guiseppe, the one you said you didn't want to remember, right?" I touched his arm gently and Damon looked into my eyes with his clear crystal blue ones. I moved my legs under the water, feeling the slosh of the clear, soothing liquid flow over them.
"I know I said that… but it's hard just to throw those old painful memories out especially the ones that have been hurting me for so long," He admitted.
I nodded, "I understand. But do you want me to tell you the story of the white rose now? It's about a happier Guiseppe," I cajoled with a smile and Damon nodded.
"Tell me, oh great story teller," He teased and I was glad he was in a better mood now. His eyes studied me intently as I began to speak.
"Fine. Guiseppe told me that when he was in Italy, before his parents, your grandparents took him to America, I mean, he was in love with a girl from Florence called Lolita… He told me they had a fairytale love, a one for the movies… He said he was her true love and she was his. She'd always bring him these pure white roses. Guiseppe's Dad never approved of their romance because Guiseppe was of high class and she was from the wrong side of the tracks. They dragged him away and he told me that every day he regrets that he didn't stand up for their love and fight for it because he lost his one true love. And now these roses symbolize true love… like Lolita and Guiseppe's- may he rest in peace," I paused silently measuring his reaction, "And ours,"
Damon sighed, "Wow, I never knew about Lolita. And I don't think Maman knows either or maybe she found out and that's why they divorced…" He trailed off thoughtfully then got an intense look in his eyes, "But I don't regret proposing to you even though you rejected me,"
"I didn't reject you, Damon. I said not now while I'm dating someone else. I promise after I'm done with the Klaus crap, I'll reconsider. You have to believe me," I said defensively, reaching to take a sip of water before placing it beside me again.
Damon nodded eventually, "I do. And I kind of admire your decision. If we were dating, I wouldn't want you to accept some other guy's proposal so I respect that," He added eventually. "But there was another reason I was thinking… I'm really mad about the Elena thing,"
"Give her some time. Did you really want her to break her cheating to Stefan at the funeral or after Guiseppe's death?" I asked, defending my friend passionately.
Damon shook his head, "No, but she's going to keep postponing it and I don't know if she will tell him ever. I see the way he looks at her… it's like the first day they met for God's sake. And she cheated on him," He burst out angrily, "I'm just mad for my brother, you know,"
"She'll tell him. Look, when we get to New York... give her a week," I suggested, "Just please don't tell Stefan yourself. It'll make things a hundred times worse than if she does… believe me,"
Damon kicked his feet under the water and said nothing, "You know that Guiseppe had this intuitive sense… he never liked Elena because he didn't trust her along with the Italian thing. He told me that about a day before he died… it wasn't just because she wasn't Italian… it was because he sensed that she was persistent in a bad way, that she was willing to hurt the people she loves just to get anything she wants. He was very perceptive, my Father," He commented.
"Yes, I think he was," I responded, sending a silent prayer up to God that Guiseppe was truly in a better place because the more I learned about him, the more I admired the man. I wondered about Lolita and where she was and if she even knew he was dead.
Damon yawned and I grinned, "I think it's bedtime for you… we have a flight tomorrow at noon, D," I reminded him and Damon nodded.
"For once, you're right," He commented, getting up and pulling me to my feet.
"What do you mean by that?" I demanded, grabbing onto his arm and then….slipping into the pool, yanking Damon with me.
I felt the cool water enveloping me and I heard a splash beside me and then Damon was beside me in the pool, laughing his ass off like a maniac. I watched him laughing and I couldn't help giggling as well before my giggles turned into hearty laughs too. I clung onto his shoulders and he splashed me in the face. "I meant exactly what I said," Damon commented, once he'd calmed down.
I had to say being in the pool was even more comforting than just dipping my feet in. "Shut up, asshole. You know I'm always right," I jutted my lip out before I floated in the water and kicked water into his face.
Damon swam towards me, spluttering as he tried to fend off the water. He eventually grabbed me from around the waist, "You're going to pay for this," He said, his face so close to mine. I noticed that I was stuck to the edge of the pool and Damon's body was firmly against mine. My breath caught in my chest.
"What are you going to do? Kiss me?" I demanded, sarcastically, just to break the tension.
Damon looked like he was considering it before he grabbed me from both of my shoulders and dunked me under the water. I spluttered and tried to get back up but Damon held me down and I could hear his laugh resonating. I kicked him where it'd hurt the most- in the crotch- and he yelped and let go of me.
I swam away manically to the other side of the pool before I climbed out, shaking because of the cold. "Race you to the shower?" I asked.
Damon shot me a cheeky smile as he climbed out of the pool, using the steps. "Mine or yours?" He teased.
I threw a slipper at him and slid the other one on. "You know what I mean, person," I retorted, as I leaned forward to get my slipper. Damon- back to his annoying self- held it out of my reach.
"I didn't like that little Charlie's Angels move you did back there," He said, a serious look on his face.
"I was going to drown, you idiot," I complained, as I jumped up to get the slipper and he held it up higher above his head.
"I wasn't going to let you drown. I'd have saved you…. Or I'd have given you the kiss of life," He grinned as he finally surrendered the slipper. I put it on shooting him a mock-glare.
"You wish,"
"Don't play so hard to get because I've already stolen your heart and you know it," Damon commented cockily.
"Then I'll call the police. Larceny is illegal man," I muttered, shivering slightly.
Damon noticed and ignored my previous comment, a somber look coming across his face. "You'll get sick… come on," He started leading me in and we were soon in the warmth and safety of the Salvatore mansion. We started upstairs together and parted at our rooms.
"Can you come to my room when you're done, Bonnie?" Damon asked with a slight smile.
"Why?" I shot him a suspicious look, fighting the urge to add, are you going to propose to me again or something?
"Just come, Bonnie, for me," Damon muttered before he hurried into his own room.
I started into my own and locked the door, immediately heading for the shower. I grabbed my robe so it'd be ready when I got out and decided to take a quick shower instead of a bath because I was exhausted and I still needed to get to Damon's room afterwards.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I finished my shower in a record 15 minutes and I knew that Damon would already have finished because boys were quicker in the shower somehow. I dressed in a little white nightgown that wasn't too revealing but wasn't pertaining to a nun and brushed my hair into a ponytail before I hurried towards the door, spotting on my way out the envelope with the letter from Trevor that Aurelia had given me at the funeral. I picked it up, deciding to tell Damon about it and maybe we could read it together.
I hurried out of the room, and saw that the door to Damon's room was ajar. I leaned in, knocking for good measure. "Are you decent?" I called, teasingly.
"No… just kidding," Damon's voice came through, "Close the door behind you,"
I obliged, and entered the room noticing that the balcony was shut and he was sitting in bed in gray pajamas. Damon's eyes swept over me and I smiled at him, "Hi," I took a seat on an armchair by the bed and Damon grinned.
"Hey… you look pretty," He commented and I smirked.
"Thanks, you don't look half bad…" I added.
"What's that in your hand?" He gestured to the envelope and I sighed.
"Aurelia gave me this at the funeral. Apparently Trevor wanted me to have it… and here it is…" I muttered, sliding my fingers over the letter and then flipping it over.
"What does that asshole want now?" Damon asked, his voice rising in anger.
"I haven't read it yet… I was wondering if you wanted to read it with me. I'm honestly kind of nervous," I noted, pushing a strand of hair out of my eyes and looking up at him.
Damon nodded, "Sure, unless you want to read it in privacy," He commented, giving me a way out if I needed it.
I grinned, "If I'd wanted to do that, I wouldn't have brought it with me, would I?" I asked challengingly.
Damon looked like he was thinking. "Fair enough…Come here then," He gestured to the bed and I only hesitated a second before nodding and walking over to him. He shuffled to the side to make room and I slid under the covers beside him. I wondered if this was a bad idea and knew that it was but I was too tired to care and I just wanted to read the letter and then go back to my own bed and sleep before our trip tomorrow.
"Let's hear this big boy then," I commented casually though I was nervous as heck. I tore open the letter and pulled it out, "Here goes:
Dear Bonnie,
Let me start off by saying I'm sorry. You and I both know that's always been hard for me- even back in our HS days, I was always stubborn and headstrong and let my pride get in the way. But now I really mean it because my pride led me to say some awful things to you that I didn't mean. Not at all.
I know I was wrong about a lot of things. Bonnie, your smarter than you were before, more so in the worldly sense than the academic one and I saw that as soon as I laid eyes on you. And you're so beautiful. Back in High School, you were pretty but now you're like a blossomed flower. When you were in High School, you were like a bud but now you've grown into a breathtaking rose.
And even though you might not be stellar professionally, you've accomplished everything and I can see that in your eyes. When I saw you, I was caught off guard because part of the reason I didn't contact you when I left was that I missed you too much and as time went on, I saw everywhere how much you were changing. I saw it on your Facebook profile and the daring smiles you wore in those pictures with your new Harvard friends and I knew you weren't the same even though I loved you as much as I did back when we were together in MF high. And the problem was, even though I'd gone to Cambridge and graduated and all, I was still the same. I hadn't made any new awesome friends or changed my hairstyle.
I was still the same Trevor. So I decided to move on and forget you and any semblance you'd left in my life. Believe me, it was hard and I realize now it was the stupidest thing I could've done. I keep wondering what if. What if I'd called you back or texted or emailed? Would we have been together now? What if I'd made an extra effort to come back in Summer to see you? Would we have been married or would it have not made a difference?
The biggest shock that came to me the day of Hacienda came not from the changed person you'd become- although that was like a splash of cold water in my face- but was because you were with Damon freaking Salvatore,
I stopped and looked over at Damon who was now staring at the ground, at the walls, anywhere except but at my face. I sighed and went on:
You can understand why it was such a giant surprise to me. Not only were you friends with Damon Salvatore, who was our arch enemy back in HS but you were pursuing a relationship with him and that blew me off the edge and made me do unreasonable things and say untrue shit that broke your heart and mine as well. After I thought about it, I knew that it was my fault that you were with him… If I hadn't drifted away… God knows though. Some things are destiny.
I still love you, Bon, I realized that when I saw you in the pool. No matter what happened between Aurelia and me, I want you to know that nothing's changed. I still care about you and like that Whitney Houston song, I will always love you. But I saw then at the pool that you've moved on. I see in your eyes the love you used to offer me but instead, it's proffered to Damon Salvatore and that made me go mad with rage. I'm sorry that I overreacted… I just want you to know that I still have feelings for you even though I tried denying them at first.
This is not just to apologize to you, Bon. I want you to give our friendship another chance. Let's pretend Hacienda didn't happen and I'll support you and love you like I did back in High School. Now, it won't be romantic, I know, but we can be friends again. We owe us being best friends in High School another chance.
But this is all up to you. The ball is now in your court and I know there's nothing to do to change your mind anymore. I already said I'm sorry for all the bad things I said and I know they'll stay between us like a lumpy pillow for some time but I hope that as time goes on, things can go back to how they used to be. Our friendship was as easy as breathing. We were so right for each-other, being the perfect combination of moral and emotional strength and propelling each other to be our best selves.
Please give me another chance. I'll be waiting for your reply.
Love,
Trevor Ford.
PS. I've enclosed my email, phone numbers and address so that you know how to contact me.
PPS. I've also attached a picture of us that I have another copy of. It shows how easy it used to be. Oh how I wish I could go back to those days.
PPPS. I still care for you so much so if you need anything, don't be afraid to tell me. I'm just a phonecall/email/text away.
I put down the letter, slipping it back into the envelope with a tired look. I knew I was going to have to reply to him sooner or later but I chose later, when I was done with everything I had to clear up in New York. I pulled the covers up to my chin and looked over to Damon, realizing he hadn't said a word.
I shot him a worried look, scared about his reaction. "Talk to me, Damon," I pleaded, putting my hands on his shoulders.
Damon's lip curled and he sighed, "What do you want me to say in reply to your best friend since you were in Kindergarten claiming he still loves you?" He asked, exasperated.
"So what? I don't love him back and honestly, I don't think I actually did," I admitted to him, "Come on, Damon. You can't be jealous,"
Damon looked away, uncomfortable. "It's just… you can't imagine how hard it is to be me right now. It kills me that Klaus still wants you and you freaking love him and now Ford is proclaiming his undying love? What do I have on that? What do I have on a million years of friendship? Sure, we have chemistry and you claim to love me but feelings change with time, I know that more than anyone," He concluded, heatedly.
I sighed deeply, "How many times do I have to tell you that I love you, Damon? It's only you and after everything we've gone through together and all we've felt, I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone else the way I love you," I proclaimed, honestly.
Damon watched me then brought his hands to my cheeks and kissed me with passion. I kissed him back, feeling the sweet taste of his lips lingering on mine. I pulled back, "This is wrong," My voice was breathless. I started getting out of the bed and Damon pulled on my arm.
He nodded, "I know. I just had to do that. I've been missing the taste of you," He admitted.
"I have to go, Damon," I yawned, "I'm honestly tired," I got out of the bed and walked over to put my slippers on.
Damon waited for a second then a vulnerable look crossed his face. "Stay with me here, tonight… please. I don't want to be alone or the memories come crashing back and I don't know how to handle them," He said, a faraway look flitting across his face.
I licked my lips and nodded, "But no funny business, Mr. Salvatore," I noted the childlike faith for me he held in his eyes and my heart broke for him.
Damon smirked, "I'll try not to incite anything… but I'm tired too," He commented, "So we'll just sleep,"
"Just sleep," I climbed back into Damon's bed and he pulled the cover over us and I felt truly comfortable. He flicked the light off from beside the bed and the room was plunged into darkness. I felt Damon's hand reach out for me and I squeezed it before I thought what the hell and searched for his firm chest. When I found it, I crawled closer and placed my head on it, finding comfort in the fact that my head fit perfectly in the contours of his chest.
Damon's arms enclosed me and he held me in place. I closed my eyes, sighing. "This is comfy," I muttered, almost to myself.
I could hear the smile in Damon's voice, "It is," He agreed, "You're like a little kitten, my little tabby BonBon," He added.
I rolled my eyes, sleepily, "I'm not like a kitten, Damon," I protested, sleepily, "If I am, then you're my giant teddy bear,"
"Kittens are cute, Bonnie," He ignored my last comment, "It's not an insult." I felt his hand stroke my hair and I relaxed into his touch.
"Mmmm," I murmured, "so I'm cute then?"
"Kinda," Damon's voice was amused.
I smacked him lightly on the chest, "Kinda?" I asked, in mock anger.
"Fine. A lot. You're the cutest kitten I've ever seen," Damon conceded and I could hear how sleepy he was. I felt my own exhaustion take over and I felt Damon caress my baby bump and the last words I heard were: "I love you, pretty girl," Then I fell into the obscurity.
A/N: So I guess I deserve some thanks for a NON STOP BAMON CHAPTER, right? Heck, there weren't even any other characters in this and you got some angst and TONS of fluff before they head on back to NY which I promise is next chapter!
I'm so nervous about the conversation with KLAUS lol. I don't know what to do. So I'm asking you guys, do you want him to have done something bad while Bonnie was away or should she just break up with him because of the Damon thing? TELL ME.
Reviews =Love= More BAMON.
Peace, love, Damon Salvatore ;)
Lily
Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries. Cause if I did, Elena would just choose Stefan and leave Damon for her homegirl Bonnie! Yeah.