Chapter 37

"I can't believe we're almost back," Alex said to no one in particular. She glanced out the window past Michael as the familiar landscapes of Washington came into view.

"It'll be weird to be back at the old house," Caleb said, following his sister's gaze into the trees that draped from the heavy rainfall that had recently passed. The skies were dark and cloudy, though the rain had held off since they'd entered the state. It was apparent from the wet pavement and the look of the trees, however, that nothing had changed in the town that bordered Forks.

Delilah took in the surroundings, having never been to Washington. Caleb and the others had described the rain, and while it was already somewhat depressing, she could understand why they chose the place as a permanent home. It would give them all the more freedom to be outside and do as they pleased.

"Are we the first to get all the way out here?" Alex asked.

Esme looked down at her phone briefly, then returned her eyes to the road. "I know we're in front of Edward's car," she explained, "And the last I checked in with Masen they were behind us too." She thought for a moment, "I haven't heard much from Emmett, Rosalie or Jasper."

No one thought much of it, having had some contact with each car. Though the conversations had been short, there wasn't any reason to worry, or think anything out of the ordinary.

Street signs whizzed by and the long highway that finally led into the town of Forks seemed to take the longest.

"Why does the last fifteen minutes always seem to take forever?" Alex asked.

Michael turned and smirked at her, then pouted his lips so she would give him a kiss. "It's just our mind's way of playing tricks on us," he told her.

Caleb's eyes followed a sign that indicated the high school was in that direction, and he had passing thought of whether or not they would eventually find themselves back into the classroom. A major part of him thoroughly enjoyed the interaction with other people.

"This isn't going to feel the same," Alex said quietly to Michael, though knew her mother heard her.

"We're going to make it work," Esme told them, knowing she would have a difficult time doing that. In the depths of her, she knew she had to for the sake of the children.

Alex's posture suddenly turned as sorrowful as it had been in the beginning of the ride. She slumped down slightly and leaned up against Michael. He kissed her forehead and whispered quietly, "It'll be okay."

Esme felt the tears weld up in her eyes when they crossed by the hospital and couldn't keep herself completely under control as she had for most of the drive. Caleb glanced at his mother, and then to Delilah for a moment before leaning on his hand and glancing out the window permanently. He hated to see Esme cry, and it was easiest for him if he looked away and focused on something else.

The roads all became familiar, ringing with the feeling of home before finally the car turned right down the long driveway that led up to their previous home.

Esme took in a deep breath, ridding herself of the same blurry vision that had been occurring regularly due to the excessive tears that remained stuck in her eyes. She knew her daughter's words were right. Things would never be the same, but she would do everything in her power to make sure that her children could become happy and healthy again.

For whatever reason, Esme felt more anxious driving down the driveway than she had at any other point along the way. She knew seeing the house and having to re-start her life without Carlisle was only seconds away. How would she do it? How could she do it?

There were no answers that made sense and Esme decided that she didn't have to figure things out at that moment. Time would be her only ally, or so she hoped. She could see easily that it could be the enemy, though she prayed this wouldn't be the case. She tried to tell herself that she was strong and brave and could live a fulfilling life, but she wasn't so sure that was entirely possible.

Alex suddenly sprung up from her slumped position in the back seat, causing Michael to jump from her angsty behavior.

"What?" he asked, seeing the alarm in her face.

"Uh..." Alex's eyes scanned the area and she suddenly burst out of the car, opening and closing the door then completely vacating the vehicle without so much as a complete word.

Esme slammed on the breaks as a reaction, though knew it didn't do much good. "Alex!" she called, then looked back at Michael, who jumped out of the car and followed to where she ran off to.

"What's going?" Caleb asked. He looked at his mother, and the two of them shared the same expression. He wanted to ask her, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Where did Alex go?" Delilah asked from the back seat. She looked back and forth from Caleb to Esme, who continued to stare at one another.

There was suddenly a scream from up the driveway and Esme floored the gas pedal, rounding the bends of the driveway through the trees.

"Should I-" Caleb started, but Esme slammed the brakes and he jolted forward slightly, then looked at her with a surprised expression, knowing his mother wasn't at all reckless behind the wheel. He turned his gaze to where hers fell and his jaw dropped.

Esme couldn't fully comprehend all that happened next. At some point she must have put the car in park and left the vehicle completely, but she couldn't remember doing it. Her stare never broke from up ahead, and she couldn't even make out where Caleb stood, or walked. She didn't know if he was beside her or behind her, but she was confident he was there.

Michael stood about a hundred feet in front of where Esme had parked the car with his hands on his hips. He was smiling, but looked awe-struck then looked at Esme with a sincere, happy expression. Next to him, Alex cried and had her arms around her father, and Alice stood next to them with the guiltiest of expressions.

Esme stood frozen in place for a moment. She didn't believe what she was seeing. She couldn't believe it, because if it wasn't real she would have to deal with the heartache of the situation again.

Carlisle had his back to her, but she knew it was him. She could sense it. She knew every part of his body, every fabric of every shirt, every hair on his head. She didn't have to see his face, and from the way Alex clung to him and balled, she knew it was true.

"Daddy," Alex continued to cry, saying his name as if she was just a little kid again.

"I'm sorry Alex," he said to her emotionally, "I'm sorry we put you through all this. It was the only thing we could do."

Caleb ran past where Esme stood, and nearly tackled Alice, immediately falling into a heap of emotional laughter and she swung her around and held onto her so tight that it appeared as if her tiny body would break. He then began to cry amidst the emotional laughter and continued to keep her close until he and Alex traded places.

"Alice!" Alex said, still crying. She managed to laugh as her brother did, "How is this possible?"

"I'll explain everything," Alice said quietly, "I promise. I'm so sorry we had to put you all through this, but I promise you it was for good reason."

"Dad," Caleb continued his back and forth emotions, "How are you guys... here?" He pulled back and Carlisle dried his son's face, knowing his own looked similarly.

"We had to," he said, "Or a number of us would have died."

"I'll give everyone the full explanation they deserve," Alice said, still holding Alex tightly. It felt so good for all of them to be able to hug and hold each other again.

Carlisle turned around, seeing Esme's face in her hands as she sobbed uncontrollably where she stood. She still couldn't move, too paralyzed by fear that the moment could end on a whim by the chance that it was a sort of torturous daydream. He ran up to her and put his arms around her and Esme buried her face into his shoulder and hugged him harder than she ever had.

She made no attempt to even remotely silence her cries, as she let out everything she had been feeling into the warmth of her husband as he continually apologized to her throughout her breakdown.

Carlisle held her against him, feeling rejuvenated from her touch, though knew he was selfish for feeling the relief he felt from being in her arms because of all that Esme had to go through in believing he was dead. It was something he knew would literally take an eternity to make up for, but he intended to start doing it that day.

Esme welcoming the stinging sensation in her eyes, as she began to accept that her happy tears were a reality; that Carlisle was really standing with her in his arms. She finally managed to control herself enough to pull her head away from his chest to look up at his face. She traced his jawline and ran a hand through his hair, then traced her thumb gently across his lips.

"Esme," he said, shaking his head, "I'm so sorry. I would never have done this if-"

"I don't care," she told him, feeling the heavy shake in her voice as her tears failed to subside, "I don't care, Carlisle. I love you. I love you. I can't let myself believe this is real yet."

"It's real," he assured her, using his thumbs to try drying under her eyes.

Esme ran her hands down his shoulders and arms, then wrapped them back around him and looked up at him again, continued to cry. She shook her head. "I love you. I never thought I would ever..." She shook her head again.

Carlisle leaned down and kissed her firmly and Esme closed her eyes. The waiting tears fell down her face, and she couldn't even properly kiss him back. She was too emotional.

"I love you too," he told her, "I'm sorry."

Esme sighed and laid her face up against his chest again and held him tightly against her. Carlisle continued to apologize, stroking Esme's back and running his hands through her hair as they stood in the driveway of their home in Forks.

She let herself enjoy the moment, wanting to go speak with Alice, but unable to pull herself away from Carlisle. She knew it was true; that he was alive, that they both were. She didn't care what their explanations were. All she cared about was that Alice was okay, and that she was back in Carlisle's arms.