Disclaimer: Owning Furuba would be cool. Owning a cat would be cool. OWNING YOUR FACE WOULD BE COOL Hyperventilates

Yep, I have done it. I HAVE WRITTEN SOMETHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE CLASSIFIED AS M!! ... or not. I'm really not sure. But to be a rebel, I'm leaving the rating as T. I'll just warn everybody now, neh?

This story is a humourous one shot about what happens when Shigure thinks you're jacking off while driving

Mmkay? Good. Now, feel free to read :D

Enjoy! (And please review.)

Oh, and happy new year everybody!

Jacking off behind the Wheel causes Injuries

Yuki, the rat of the zodiac, felt incredibly superior to Kyo. Yuki, the rat of the zodiac, had shoved it in Kyo's face in his normal stuck up attitude. Yuki, the rat of the zodiac, had just gotten his learners.

And now he was driving, with Shigure fast asleep in the passenger seat – and he was doing a rather good job at it, or, well, he thought anyway. So, with both hands on the wheel, Yuki steered around a corner... and rammed straight into something small and fast moving.

Wait. What?

Alarmed, Yuki slammed on the breaks, threw open the door, and dashed to the aid of what-ever-it-was he'd hit. Luckily he wasn't going very fast, Hatori's orders. But, in any case, Yuki knelt down beside it. It was clearly knocked out.

It being an orange cat.

Oh shit.

Frantic, Yuki dashed to the car to try and find something decent to wrap the cat – AKA Kyo – in, and he managed to find an old towel. Carefully, the rat bundled the cat up, slipping him in the back of the seat of the car.

"Shigure, we're going to the vet." Yuki informed the sleeping man, who awoke with a jolt, but was still sleepy so muttered a reply of;

"Who's wet? Yuki, didn't Hatori give you the lecture about jacking off and driving at the same time?"

So, off to the vet they went!

When they reached the vet – after several wrong turns, considering Shigure had, had to drive: Yuki had curled up in the passengers seat with the injured cat, wrapped in his own shirt, who clawed at him every time Yuki moved him, or Shigure went over a bump: which, the way Shigure drove, was quite a few times.

By the looks of things, Yuki thought, as Shigure pushed open the door for him, Kyo in a terrible condition... one that was too terrible that he hadn't changed back, apparently. ... Hm-like... that was strange.

Then again, Kyo was strange in general ... not to mention just stupid enough to run under the wheels of a speeding car. Well... not that Yuki had been speeding... much.

In any case, this stupid cat needed attention!

It wasn't long before the vet had the poor, 'Kyo' on the table, and was prodding this, and poking that. Yuki was standing in the corner, trying to pretend he didn't exist. Why? Because Shigure and the vet were discussing masturbation.

... and the damage it could do behind the wheel of a car.

"... and my friend 'Tori gave him the lecture, you know," Shigure was saying, with affirming nods as the vet stuck a thermometer up the cats ass, "he said; 'Kyo, Yuki, there is one thing that you must never do when you're driving.'" He paused for dramatic effect; "'and that thing is masturbation.' 'Tori even explained everything to him!"

They both shook their head in disbelief.

"Well, this guy certainly paid the price of that lesson, didn't he?" The vet asked, looking very disapprovingly at Yuki, who wished he could just disappear all together.

After the excruciating wait for the verdict on the cat, –they had informed the vet that they had to take with them – who was deemed well enough to leave the vets, but had to be keep in a closed environment, Yuki and Shigure began the dreaded drive home. Shigure had told him under no uncertain terms to keep his hands on the wheel!

Yuki had desperately wanted to run them into a tree.

Roughly twenty minutes later, Yuki, quite literally, walked through the closed rice paper door, while Shigure followed behind him with the cat cage. Quite angry, and with a defiled mind, Yuki slammed open the door to the lounge room, and was met with a; "What the hell do you want, you damn rat?"

Blinking, Yuki looked at Kyo, who was sitting comfortably with a Rice ball in his left hand, and the TV remote in the right. His eyes then flew back to the cat in the cage, who was feeling rather sorry for itself.

Then back to the cat.

And back at Kyo.

... back to the cat.

... and once again back at Kyo, before breaking the table over the poor, unsuspecting cursed-cat's head.

END :D

Ha! Kyo got a table broken over his head xD. That pretty much showed him, didn't it?

In any case, I have a haunch: this will be the last Furuba I ever write. I'm hoping not, but writing Furuba is just getting dull. And old. And I don't like it anymore. So, if I don't see you again in this section, please feel free to contact me or read my other stories :D! -Marks story as complete, just in case-