101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will do something very stupid and very naughty…he'll contaminate the local galactic water supply! Suffice to say this will make many people very angry at Jar Jar, which you will find out in this chapter.
Chapter 38: Angry Mob
Our heroes were busy looking at the large reservoir of the water that the tour guide was showing them. It was quite a sight.
"Can I have a glass of water since we're so near our water supply and all? I'm really thirsty." Qui-Gon Jinn asked.
The tour guide answered his question by giving him a glass of water.
"Thank you." thanked Qui-Gon Jinn.
"I suppose that we shouldn't use that big body of water as a swimming pool, Padme. We might get our germs in it, and that's no good." warned Anakin.
"What made you think that I wanted to go swimming?" questioned Padme.
"I don't know, it's just that a lot of your fanboys would probably love seeing you in a bikini." Joked Anakin.
"Very funny, Anakin." replied the princess.
"By the way you two, have you seen Jar Jar Binks? I don't think he was with us when we started the tour." asked Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"I get the feeling that he may have gotten himself into trouble." worried C-3PO.
R2-D2 let out a worried beeping sound as well.
As it turns out, Jar Jar Binks was once again desperately looking for a restroom. Suffice to say, he wasn't very good at finding one, and time was running out.
"Mesa need to take a leak real badly!" screamed the Gungan. He was running out of options as he ran through a nearby door.
As it turns out, this door led to where the water supply was currently being stored.
"Perfect! Mesa finally found bathroom!" squealed the Gungan.
Suffice to say what he did next was utterly despicable. The idiotic alien proceeded to urinate inside the galaxy's water supply, causing it to change color. Jar Jar Binks' friends stormed into the room upon spotting him and watched this atrocity with disgust.
"Gross!" blurted out Padme.
"Jar Jar Binks, what in the Empire were you thinking?" screamed Anakin Skywalker.
"That does it! You're going home, buddy!" bellowed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who proceeded to go over to where Jar Jar Binks was standing and grabbed him by the arm.
At our heroes' house…
"Jar Jar Binks you idiot! Thanks to you we won't be able to have water again for a really long time!" screeched Qui-Gon Jinn.
"What's da big deal about dat?" questioned Jar Jar Binks.
"People are going to be furious at you, Jar Jar! Do you think they're going to just stand by after that grisly act you committed?" Anakin Skywalker shouted.
"Relax, it's not like people ganna know about it." Jar Jar Binks stated. "Hey, what's dat light in da distance?"
"What? Let me see that." Obi-Wan Kenobi pulled out some binoculars, and stared out the window. Almost immediately, he screamed.
"What's the matter?" asked Padme Amidala.
"There's an angry mob coming right this way! They have torches and everything!" exclaimed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"What are we going to do?" inquired Anakin.
"I suggest that we evacuate the area at once." C-3PO recommended.
R2-D2 once again agreed with C-3PO's idea.
"I got a better idea. Why don't we make Jar Jar Binks apologize for what he did in the first place! Not like it's forgivable…" Padme Amidala suggested.
As it turns out, the angry mob had already approached the house and were waiting right outside the door.
"What? Dat's crazy! If wesa go out dere, then they ganna kill us all!" screeched Jar Jar Binks.
"No we won't! We just want Jar Jar!" retorted Darth Maul.
"Well, OK, maybe thesa won't kill yousa, but thesa will kill Tarpals!" warned Jar Jar Binks.
"Mesa part of da mob yousa dolt!" answered Tarpals.
At that particular moment, the mob suddenly broke into the house. Our heroes were all forced to flee, but right before doing so they decided to toss Jar Jar Binks straight in the angry mob's path to make sure that he would get his just desserts.
"Can yousa forgive mesa?" Jar Jar Binks attempted to apologize. Their answer was a firm no as they proceeded to stab, slash, burn, and use whatever weapon they had available to bring him to justice. Jar Jar Binks died rapidly from the wrath of the enraged bunch of hooligans.
Unfortunately, the mob proceeded to go after our heroes as well, due to the role they had played in ruining the water supply in the first place. It wasn't until Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, and Anakin Skywalker had met their fate at the hands of the deadly gang that they managed to find a decent hiding place.
After making sure that they were finally gone, our protagonists resurrected the ones they had lost (including Jar Jar Binks) in case the obnoxious Gungan did something as stupid as what he had done recently, which evidently would happen in the near future.
I have to admit, even I find this chapter to be hilarious…by the way, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization will be appearing pretty soon…so I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapter featuring them…but before that, I'll be using a rather odious killing methods that would make those who committed it filthy dogs…get the hint?