Chapter 35

Kelly walked down the road by the canal. She felt safe here. She felt like she belonged here.

Is this where I'm supposed to be?

She climbed up on the bank and sat down. She stared at the water as it flowed by. She could hear the circle sprinklers and the occasional moo. She was a little close to a blackbird's territory and it chirped at her off and on.

They were the sounds of home. They always had been. Chicago had been big and exciting when she'd gone there, but had never been home. Not really. It had been a place she had lived, away from home.

The farm was in her blood. She didn't know how Jeff had avoided it, but he had. He wanted to get away...but then, so had she in the beginning. Now, she was back, and the longer she stayed, the less she wanted to leave.

"You wanting to brood alone or do you want company?"

Kelly smiled and looked back. Paul was standing there.

"Come on up, if you want."

Paul climbed up and sat down beside her.

"What's up?"

"Trying to figure out what my future will be."

"You try to plan too much. It doesn't work. Sometimes, you really just have to let go."

"I'm not that kind of person, Paul. I can't let go of things."

"Or people."

Kelly looked at him. "Are you talking about Robert or Tim?"

"Or Lizzie?"

Kelly grimaced.

"That's ancient history, Paul. None of us talk about that anymore."

"Talking or not, you don't let go of it. Lizzie was your twin, Kelly. It's not history. She's part of who you are, and you've never let go of the fact that you were the healthy one and she died. You hold on to people because you're afraid of losing them. You walk away only at the last second because you keep hoping that they'll stay. Lizzie was never going to live very long, but she beat the odds just enough for you to lose her and feel guilty for not being able to keep her here. Even when Robert treated you like dirt, you would have gone back to him if he had allowed it because you don't want to lose people."

"I'm not a doormat, Paul," Kelly said.

"No, you're not, but while you're trying to figure out your life, don't forget that it's not all about loss."

Paul put an arm around her shoulders.

"I love you, Kelly. I love this place. I love you being here, but I hate to see you so conflicted about what you want."

Kelly leaned on Paul. He was so solid. Always there, always supporting.

"I don't know what I want. If it hadn't been for Tim appearing out of nowhere, I might have just settled down here and never left. But then...Tim showed up and it changed things."

"Do you love him?"

Kelly laughed a little. "I don't know. As things are right now, no. It's too complicated for love. I care about him. I want him to be happy, but I know well enough that, the problems he has at this point are just too much for me. I don't know if that means never, but it's so complicated."

"It is. I agree. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do."

"I almost wish you would."

"Nah. You'd disagree and then go off on your own just to prove that your way was the right way, even if it wasn't. What if he does remember everything and he calls you up?"

"I couldn't just say no. I'd have to see if there was anything to what we both felt."

"As long as it's what you want."

"Yeah. What I want."

"And as long as you don't give Robert another chance, no matter what he does. I might have to hogtie you, stow you in the barn and throw him in the canal to keep that from happening."

"Don't worry about that. Robert is definitely not what I want."

"Good."

"Kelly! Paul!"

They both turned and saw Jeff running up the road toward them.

"What is it?" Paul asked.

"Did you see the news?"

"What news?"

"There was some big shootout at NCIS in DC! A bunch of people got killed."

Paul looked at Kelly who felt stricken.

"Tim?" she asked.

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know. It just happened. They're not giving many details right now. No names at all, but it's big."

Kelly jumped to her feet and ran down to follow Jeff back to the house.

What if she had left just in time for Tim to be killed by the people who had captured him before?

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Gibbs was glad to note that NCIS got off the first shots, not their attackers. There were at least twenty of them, settled into spaces where they could fire without being seen, but once you knew they were there...

The FBI and other NCIS teams came storming in from the Middendorf building just east of NCIS headquarters.

In five minutes, it was all over. Thirteen of the attackers were dead, another seven were in custody. Three FBI agents and two NCIS agents were injured. But it was over.

Gibbs looked around at the organized chaos and then smiled at Fornell as he walked over.

"You people just can't seem to stay out of things, can you," Fornell said.

"Not our fault people like us so much," Gibbs said.

"Hated is more like it," Fornell grunted. "You all okay?"

"Mostly. Some injuries from the initial attack."

"McGee?"

Gibbs shrugged. There was really no way of knowing how Tim was at this moment. He hadn't been all right before. No reason to think he would be now.

"Did we get them all?"

"Doubt it, but we got a lot of them, and someone will start talking."

Fornell nodded.

"What now?" he asked.

No question about what he meant.

"Don't know. Depends."

"Yeah, I figured. He remembered enough to do this?"

"Yeah."

"Good for him. It's hard to remember the things you've wanted to forget."

"Yeah."

Fornell gave him a look but didn't say anything more. He went back to coordinate the clean-up effort. Gibbs looked at Ellie. She nodded and followed.

"This fit with what you were thinking?"

"Yeah," she said. "I wish I hadn't been right, but I knew it would be big if they could manage it. This wasn't the trial. This was the real thing. It's really important that this was the real thing and not practice."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"Because they failed at what they were planning and now we know about it. The chances that we actually got all of them are slim to none, but they'll have to start all over if they want to try again. That gives us more time to find them."

They went back into the building. Tony was still in the bullpen where Ducky was trying to convince him to give in and go to the hospital to get his bullet graze taken care of.

"Anthony, you really do need stitches. A bandage won't do. You're lucky it wasn't any deeper."

"But since it wasn't, I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

Gibbs strode over to Tony's desk.

"You're going to the hospital, DiNozzo. Got it? No arguments."

Tony sighed.

"Got it, Boss. Tim?"

"Don't know yet."

"And you're making me go."

"You're in the way, Tony. Go and get patched up."

"Okay."

Gibbs gestured for Ducky and Jimmy to help him. Employees were starting to leave the building, although there were FBI agents on alert, and the Yard had, effectively, been locked down. No one would be leaving the Yard for hours yet.

Without being told, Ellie followed him into the hall outside Interrogation. Gibbs sighed when he saw the dead man. The gun was still there.

"Tim said he'd killed him," Ellie said.

"Yeah." There was no reason to question it, but they could verify it with the cameras.

"What do you want to do, Gibbs?"

"Get another agent to help you document the scene. You know the drill."

"Right."

Gibbs left her to it and headed up to the conference room. He had no idea what state Tim would be in at this point. He'd seen it in Tim's eyes. He had been close to a breakdown. At least, Naomi had been there to help him through it while they were getting everything else done. Now, it was time to see what had happened.

He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

That was Naomi, not Tim. Good sign or bad sign?

He opened the door. Tim was sitting on a chair. Naomi had her arms around him. His eyes were closed and he was shaking and pale.

Bad sign.

He walked over and sat down.

"He's been like this since he came in here," she said softly.

"Tim?" Gibbs asked.

No response.

"Tim, we got them. You don't have to worry about them anymore."

Still, no response.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"I-I k-k-killed him."

"What happened?" Gibbs asked. Tim had actually said something. It was worth pursuing.

"Remembered him...from...from before. Saw him. He was...going to kill me. Tony...he...he stopped him. Bullet graze. Tony was...couldn't leave him like that. Went for the gun. Shot him. I...remembered...enough."

Tim's eyes were still closed.

"Yeah, you did, and you told us right away. That's what we needed. You saved a lot of people, Tim."

"I want to get out of here," he said softly. "Can I leave?"

"Not yet. It's going to take some time."

"Please."

"Tim, we just had a major attack on a federal building. People have been killed. You can't just leave yet. If you want to go outside, you can. If you want to go to another room in the building, you can, but you can't go off the Yard yet. Understand?"

Tim nodded, eyes still closed.

"Tim. Look at me."

Still shaking, Tim finally turned enough to face Gibbs and opened his eyes. Gibbs could see it. This wasn't the full breakdown. Tim was trying to hold it off, but he was hanging on by a thread. It would be cruel and mostly unnecessary to keep him here where he'd been having his worst experiences since coming back to DC. However, he didn't want to have Tim just out and about before they were able to verify how big a dent they'd made in this group's numbers.

"Stay here. I'll let you know when you can leave."

No words.

"I promise. Trust me."

Still, nothing.

Gibbs met Naomi's gaze and nodded. He wasn't going to leave Tim in this situation. Hopefully, after a few days, he'd be able to process it all. This was also their chance to start him getting the therapy he obviously needed. If they could get him to the hospital and have him admitted for a few days, that would keep him safe and get him some care. He got to his feet and strode out of the conference room. He looked around and found Agent Lovitz directing traffic in the building. Firefighters were getting sent to places where there might still be some smoldering remnants of the charges.

Quickly, Gibbs headed down to the bullpen.

"Lovitz."

Agent Lovitz sent another group off.

"What's up, Gibbs?"

"Can you spare anyone?"

"For how long?"

"Until I can get McGee secured in a hospital."

"Did he get hurt?"

"No. He needs to get out of here, and he needs help."

"Oh. Well, I think Lara could go. I wouldn't want to send Adam Saunders by himself. Not enough experience for that, but with Lara..." He thought about it for a few seconds. Then, he looked around. "Miller! Saunders!"

The two agents appeared in under a minute.

"What is it, Robert?" Lara asked.

"I need you two to help Gibbs get Agent McGee to a hospital. He needs watching until he's secure in the hospital." He glanced at Gibbs. "Bethesda?"

"Probably."

"When you're done, come back here. Understood?"

"Got it," Lara said. "Where is he?"

"Up in a conference room. You get a car ready?"

"You cleared this with Vance?" Lovitz asked. "Or is that too much to hope for?"

Lara smiled when Gibbs didn't answer.

"I'll have the car ready and I'll talk to the mucky-mucks outside and let them know that we've got to get off the Yard."

She walked off with Adam in tow. Before Gibbs left, Lovitz grabbed him by the arm.

"You could do this the right way, Gibbs. You know that you could. Vance understands the situation."

"Vance has to answer to people who don't understand and don't care about understanding. If I go around him, he can't get in trouble for it."

Lovitz sighed. "And because it's you, everyone will expect it. You're way too devious."

Gibbs smiled once more and headed back up to the conference room. He knocked briefly and walked in.

"Let's go."

"What?" Naomi asked. "Where?"

"Bethesda."

Tim looked at him.

"Bethesda?"

"The hospital. You need out of here, but we need to keep you secure until we're sure that you're completely safe. You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Then, let's go."

Naomi helped Tim stand. He was still pale, but he'd passed through the throes of panic and was in the lull in between. He could get pulled back to panic or continue on to something calmer. Gibbs was happy to help him.

As they headed out the door and down to the exit, Tim suddenly looked around.

"Is...Tony?"

"He'll be fine. We got him off to a hospital. He was awake enough to protest."

"The man I...?"

"Ellie is taking care of that."

"Okay."

Gibbs got Tim outside as quickly as possible. Lara had been typically efficient and the car was waiting. Tim and Naomi got into the back. Lara and Adam were in the front.

"We'll get you to Bethesda, no problem, Agent McGee," Lara said.

Then, Gibbs heard something that surprised him. It wasn't shocking on the surface, but it was underneath.

"Thanks, Lara," Tim said, softly.

Gibbs didn't get a chance to ask anything because the car pulled away.

Tim hadn't interacted with Lara at all since he'd come back. He knew who she was.

How much did he remember? Could it really have all come back in that brief time?

There was time. Now, there was time. He'd find out.