Disclaimer: I own zilch, nada, none of it. Harry Potter is not mine I simply am a rabid fan, who happens to have horrid spelling.

November 1st – Harry's Point of View – Snape's Quarters

I am tired but I'm still in "Detention" with Snape. It started off differently than normal. I wasn't scrubbing caldrons or even cleaning anything but I would have done just about anything to be doing the manual labor type detention. Even if it is exhausting it would be less painful then what I have been doing. At first it was silent as neither knew what to say because Snape obviously wanted to discuss something with me but I didn't care and as I don't like to talk I sure as hell was not going to aid the conversation and I certainly won't start it! But after a while Snape finally decides that he wasn't going to continue to wait for me to say something and from the look on his face he has figured out how to say whatever it is he wanted to tell me.

"Har-Potter, I realize that while you may have a dismal amount of knowledge in subjects that are considered important, however, I have come to the realization that my poor opinion of you was in fact far too generous towards you and that I should not have held you to such a standard when you continually prove that it is far beyond your capacity. Given this I was still astounded to find that you would sink as low as you have" Snape said. "Your little display up on that tower was pathetic and selfish and it was an act that even your pathetic excuse of a father would never dare sink that low. You truly have out done yourself this time potter."

"…."

I didn't respond to his rant I simply stared at him and for once I did not take the bait and let my temper flare but instead sat and stayed silent. It seemed as though I gave him the reaction he was hoping to not have, if his deep frown and heavy sigh is anything to go by.

Snape's Point of View-

I knew I had to try and get some sort of reaction from him so I know just how far gone he was. And I knew that if anything gets to him it is me insulting his beloved father but he didn't react, hardly blinked. That's when I realized just how bad it was and I knew I would have to be his therapist tonight not the snarky potions professor that he hates so much. Sigh. I was really rather hoping I would only have to have a brief discussion with him and then set him a task like scrubbing caldrons. Oh well, I guess that will have to wait.

"Harrt?"

"Yes, Professor Snape?"

"Instead of scrubbing caldrons for your detention I do believe that we will have our second therapy session, instead."

"O-Okay, Sir"

Still no emotion, this boy truly does need help. I set the charm to record the conversation and began.

" Harry, would you like to tell me exactly what it was you were doing up on the Astronomy Tower? And don't try and lie as I already have been told by Miss. Granger. I simply wish to hear you say it."

"If you already know then I shouldn't need to tell you anything." I glared at him and he seemed to realize he wasn't getting out of talking so he started speaking.

"I.. I was um casting a spell."

"which spell and why"

"Um well it …. It was the uh Crutiatus Curse. And I cast it to help me."

"and how exactly did that spell help you?" I asked gently.

"I gave me release and set me free" he whispered so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

"Have you done this before? And if so can you tell me about it."

"I I…I have but um the last time I did it was um awhile ago."

"Harry I need to know when was the last time you cast the spell on yourself."
"It was October 18th I think, I hadn't done it since the 19th."

"And why is that Harry?" curiosity lacing my words as most of the hard cases never go long without their 'helping hand'.

"Hermione"

"What about her?"

"She caught me and she didn't like it. I promised not to do it anymore, but I couldn't I –I need it, sir, please, please don't make me stop."

I looked at him closely and I could see the tears streaking down his face. Despite that I knew I had to keep going I needed to see how much he'd tell me.

"Harry, what made you break your promise, hmm? What specifically led you up there tonight?"

"You"

"Me? What do you mean me?"

"The therapy session. I. I. I kept reliving what I said I couldn't block it out anymore it was all there and it hurt."

"What do you mean by 'blocking it out'?"

"Ever since I was seven I wouldn't remember any bad things strongly, they would be in the back of my head and some would seem to disappear….but you made them all come back, I remember and feel them all know because I talk to you I re-lived them then and now I can't get rid of them."

"Harry do you know what this is? What you are doing is a form of occlumency."

"But I can't do that remember you tried and I failed."

"Well, I think that is a conversation for another day. I think that you can head back to your dormitory now. You don't need to run but as it is late you will need to go straight back to your tower."

"Yes sir" And then he was gone. I knew I would have to talk to him again soon but he need time to deal with what we discussed today.

Other than the stutters and tears he had no emotion and his eyes were almost dead looking. It seems the only thing that made him talk was that I asked and he only talked as much as he did because he was attempting to distance himself from it all.

Oh, well, I guess I shall simply have to make an appointment with him soon so he doesn't regress too deep.