an/ OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO HAVE AN 'ENOBY SPAZZ' MOMENT! AJDUIEHGDJJSAGHFGADI! Whew. Now I got that out the way. I'M GOING TO SEE PALOMA FAITH TOMORROW! –squee- Eeek! So excited it's scary ;) AND my mother booked tickets to see Wicked in London on the 12th August… which I have wanted to see for 2 years now :D Yesh, so I am in a very very very happy mood.

… And now Enoby is about to kill it. Enjoy ze chapter!

Chapter 38 Old Macdonald Had A Farm, Ee Ay Ee Ay Oh

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? (I think that is a bad idea and that you should just stop. Of course, she doesn't. We've still got 6 chapters of this left.) oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111 (does she think the world is divided into two types of people, 'goffs' and everyone else who must be a poser/prep/Dumbledore and be going to heaven, because it must be so crap up there? I wouldn't be surprised if Tara went around town slapping stickers onto unsuspecting randomer's foreheads, which either say 'GOFFIK!' or 'FJUCKING PREP!' and trying to stab the latter with meat.)

Satan and I walked 2 his car. (OOH, DRAMA!) It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. (I saw a silver car the other day with paint splattered all over it and dead flies clogging up the windscreen wipers. Beat that.) On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car. (are you sure it isn't Draco's car? Is there a special car dealership company just for people like Enoby?) I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. (This is so exciting, I am pissing.) We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), (Lol. That's so funny, I'm also pissing.) kuttting, musik and being goffik. (I'm metaphorically pissing a lot. They need better topics to talk about. My friend and I were talking about the innuendos associated with ice lollies today, maybe they could start there. 'Yes, I like to suck these… and bite the end off.' 'You could have at least got one of the orange ones, that one's sunburnt.')

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Volxemort (What the hell is his name? Seriously!) agreed as we smoked sum weed. (Say NO to drugs, say YES to tacos! And ice lollies.) (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy) (I have no idea what that last bit was…)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." (… Really? Even I know that's mispelt, and I don't even listen to MCR!) I said in a flirty voice. "….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?" (Wait, do we even know what this actually is yet? Satan should be able to shed some light. After all, he is named after the product.)

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod." (Gawd, imagine that awkward situation with your teacher. "Miss, you need to drink vampire blood to cure you of your addiction!" "I do? Oh… wait, you're a vampire, aren't you?" "…Yes…")

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. (Oh, is this one of those outdoor movie theatres that only exist in films? Or do you actually have them, America? If you do, I WANT TO GO NOW!) We went in2 da movie tether (you were on a tether? What are you, a neglected donkey?) were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it (making egg fried rice? What? They were doing what?) sudenly a cereal killer came lol. (Ooh, he was attracted by the egg fried rice. He thought it was Count Chocula.) Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists. (Because blood is absolutely hilarious. I mean, when someone gets a cut and starts bleeding, I laugh my head off. Oh, that blood and its wicked sense of humour!)

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar (… seriously? I want me a Harry Potter cigar! I don't care if I'm underage and wouldn't smoke if you paid me one million squid! I WANT ONE!) sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. (I really can't see where she's going with this.) I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere. (Oh… kay? No idea what that just achieved?)

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. (and down like a bunny rabbit!) I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. (He probably had.) "Enoby gess what?" (THE SKY IS FALLING!)

I new that the amnesia had worked. (Probably had if he thought the sky was falling.)

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. (What? No, I think the point was she brought amnesia potion with her from the future, when it had been invented. Just because you're in the past doesn't mean it stops working… idiot.) "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u." (Woah, what's going on here? I've totally lost the plot.)

"Kul." (How is that cool? Both have you, for reasons unknown to the rest of us, have wanted to make the other forget everything about themselves. Hello? AMNESIA!) I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily (I didn't know you were wearing garlic. Bit of an odd craze for vampires.) and we started 2 make out. (what the hell? You're in the middle of the cinema! At least try the whole yawning-and-stretching-your-arm-around-the-back-of-her-chair thing and hope her dad isn't hiding a few rows back!) I tok of his shit. (well, you're not afraid to get down and dirty.) He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 (How can someone's six-pack be just like Gerard Way's? Who notices that?) We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep. (Oh, yes, doing the right thing automatically makes somebody a prep. I wouldn't have wanted to sit there and try to watch a film while two people were getting it on in front of me. Awkward.)

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood. (HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL? WHERE ARE THE BLOODY STAFF?)

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. (Erm, that made them crap? Alright then.) Satan and I started to walk outside. (It amazes me how much they get away with..)

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car. (Yep, just throw that out there. It's like Twilight. Bella: 'Yeah, so I've guessed that you're a vampire and I'm, like, totally cool with that.' Edward: 'I'm a monster!' Bella: 'Have you MET my dad, the person who is supposed to take care of me and can't even look after himself and is possible the worst parent in the world? I'm safer around you than I am around him, you silly goose!' Edward: 'I sparkle too.' Bella: 'Oh, well, that's nice. WHO'S A PRETTY FAIRY?')

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." (NOOOO! NEITHER OF YOU RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT!) I said drinking sum beer. (Oh, God, finally a normal drink! Wait, isn't she still underage?) Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily. (OUT OF THE CAR TO POOP, DOGGY!)

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?" (No.)

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. (Eyes on the road, mate. I have to say this frequently to my dad when he feels the need to explain something to me. Bit worrying, really.) Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. (Oh, God, another concert. No good can come of this.) We went inside where Marylin Mason (There's at teacher at my school called Mr Mason. He's scary as shit.) wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. (I'm guessing that's something only Marilyn Manson fans understand? Or is it just Enoby?) We did the devil fingers. (DEVIL FINGER! Does anyone remember that? The kid on that TV show who went up to people screaming, 'DEVIL FINGER!') I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 (shmexay!) He looked at me all emo (OOH, NO, YOU'RE GOFFS REMEMBER!) with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing. (Oh nooo. I can see what's coming..)

"I wood like to peasant… (poor peasant.) ..XBlakXTearX!11" (NO!) he said. I ran onstage. (I just thought of Lavender Brown running up to Ron in her excessively girly way..) Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. (Was this planned before? Or was this a spontaneous thing?) They started 2 play their instilments. (Whatever they are.) I got onstag. (Already said that, but repeating things is cool…)

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) (We guessed.) My voice sounded lik a (flamingo being strangled by a sadistic turtle and twisted repeatedly around the bars of a very sharp fence, before being dunked in a platypus' mouth again and again.) pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. (because they were too scared to do otherwise…) Satan got an eructation. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. (THE NUTS ARE OKAY! IT'S ALRIGHT, THE NUTS ARE SAFE!) Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?" (Very professional.)

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily. (I would've thought he'd be booed off stage for that. Apparently not.)

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. (THANK YOU, YOU REASONABLE PIECE OF TOASTED RICE!) "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious. (siriusly.)

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro. (Huh. Drama queens much, eh?)

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife. (Ooh, badass.)

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm. (… how… how is that possible?)

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11 (since when did bullets come from knives? AND YEAH, GO ENOBY! SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR THE CAUSE!)

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak. (What? I expected rainbows and sunshine and ponies when you died!)