Hellloooo again!

Another chapter!

Syaoran's POV: Present Day

The house was silent when we re-entered it.

Sakura followed after me with her eyes still alert for danger still. The kitchen light was left on but no presence filled the empty space.

Sakura glided along the edges on the counter looking onto the photo frames that were collecting dust. On the window sill sat a rose that was crisp and dead from time yet a small amount of its pink pigment managed to hold on.

I treaded lightly into the living room where I stopped suddenly with amusement on my face.

"Sakura." I whispered which half snapped her out of her daze.

I motioned her towards me and she peered in and the corners of her lips twitched upward.

On one couch Rhaya was passed out with her mouth slightly ajar. She made no sound and her chest rose and fell. Her toe boldly stuck out from a tear in one sock and her body was swamped in the oversized hoodie she never let go of.

I heard a sound beside me that was strangely familiar. Looking over Sakura held a hand over her mouth trying to contain laugher as she stepped further into the room. She moved like a ghost towards Rae and stopped a few feet from her. Sakura looked at her bewildered biting her lip with a look I could only see as sheer happiness.

"There's only a handful of times I've ever seen her sleeping like this, and it never ceases to amaze me." She said smiling.

To my surprise Sakura sank onto the couch space beside Rae and stroked her hair away from her face caringly. It was like they were simply meant to be together. The distance between them was a sin that never should have happened.

Only then did I notice Kayami awkwardly resting on the other could with her neck at a crooked position. I supressed the anger inside me and tried to ignore her. She was a different matter.

The smile on Sakura's face was erasable.

I sat beside Sakura who continued to stroke Rhaya's hair.

"What was she like…?" I couldn't help but ask. So many questions were forming in my head about the daughter I only recently came to know. "When she was born?"

I didn't want to disrupt the natural calm flow of the night but Sakura seemed indifferent. She glanced at me and smiled. She held out her hands.

"She was so small." She said looking down at her hands as if she could still feel newly born Rhaya in her hands. "Her head was so light." Again her left hand looked like it was cupping something imaginary. "And her skin was so soft and delicate I was almost afraid to hold her yet, couldn't let go. Her eyes, like now were so…bright. She would look at me for the longest time and never cry, just gurgle. I've never seen anything so…happy. She was beautiful. For the shortest time, I was her whole world and then…I let her go."

Then she sighed and dropped her hands by her side. "Now look at her. All grown up, and I don't know a thing about her."

I touched Sakura's hand and looked into her eyes. "She's still a kid. She has a lot to learn. She's something else though. Considering all the messed up things she's been through because of us…she's…amazing. Tough skinned too. My temper at times though." I laughed.

Sakura's fingers slipped into my hand shyly. She leaned back onto the couch beside me and brushed her shoulder against mine. I never ever though we would be like this again.

"Tomoyo was right." She whispered. "She said that we'd always find each other. It's a shame Tomoyo couldn't be around to see it." She sighed.

I locked my jaw. Takashi. I almost forgot we had a score to settle. But…that was before all of this. Would we be finally even? Or would he always be looking for me?

I boldly brought my hand to her face and traced the scar that was still visible under her eyes. The mark of Rika, and the mark of the life she had, still has. She leaned her cheek into my hand and slowly her arms wrapped around my waist as her head sunk into my shoulder.

"Sorry…If I'm too close you can tell me." She said meekly.

I responded by placing my arm around my shoulder. To think we'd ever be like this again was nearly impossible to me in the past. Yet here we were, together again, with our daughter oblivious in her unconsciousness.

Neither of us said anything, we just sat there in the tranquil circumstance we were in when, on cue, the reality of our lives came back to shatter these precious moments.

Sakura's eyes flickered to the t.v. which was silently blaring images. We both sat up rapidly when we registered what was being shown.

"Turn it up." She whispered.

'The chaos of Tomoeda had taken a sharp rise in theft, looting and violence. Riots have spread to West Tomoeda with gunshots and explosives reported to have been heard. The death toll has also risen to the hundreds with local citizens taking to crime to survive this takeover. The Clow Organization has officially taken occupation in Tomoeda's capital and all of the North and the East. Police forces have found it difficult to enter the city without being shot at and are currently working on a strategy to free captive citizens.'

The t.v showed images of buildings burning down to the ground. Streets, shops building that I have walked through my whole life were almost unrecognisable from the rioting. Tomoeda was destroying itself before our very eyes.

"How can Clow do this?" I asked more to myself. "It's extreme, even for him."

Sakura threw her face into her hands and clutched onto locks of hair looking as though she could pull every last one out. When she looked up again it was like reality crashed down on her again, and the preciousness of out re-union was temporarily extinguished.

"Because he knows he's invincible." She said. "Clow's been planning this for years, before I even joined them. He has trained killers from almost every organization in Tomoeda now as we speak. He's doing this because he knows he cannot loose. It's all over for the people of Tomoeda…and I'm part of the reason." She chocked a little as her eyes glued themselves on the images on the t.v.

"No Sakura," I said. "It's not your fault, Clow made you do things. He was just using you, but all this is him."

She shook her head." You don't understand Syaoran, I'm the one who trained them."

She looked up at me expecting my reaction, which was shock. I sat up straighter and walked into the kitchen. She followed me with desperation for understanding on her face.

"Syaoran you don't understand, I was so angry. I hated that city and everything to do with it! I hated you, hated Meiling, hated Li, so…I didn't think I was doing anything wrong and I definitely didn't know Clow would take it this far! That's why I tried to get Rhaya out of there! Before it was too late."

"You trained all those killers? What did you think they were going to do!"

"I know I know Syaoran," She said grabbing my arm in a panic. "I wasn't thinking at the time. I-I-I honestly didn't know they would do this!"

I threw my hand to my face and turned my back to her. How could she take part in this knowing innocent people had a chance of dying? Could she hate Tomoeda so much?

"Syaoran…" She begged and pressed a hand against my back. "I know it was wrong, that's why I'm going to fix it. I'm going to stop this, all of this."

I whirled around with an incredulous look on my face. "You what!? You're actually thinking of going back there? Sakura you just escaped it, after everything that's happened between us in the past five hours you're actually considering going back!?"

She stayed silent and let the guilt radiate from her face.

"Sakura-"

"I don't want to Syaoran! Believe me! But I-…they're going to find me Syaoran…Yue always finds me. It's just a matter of time. Can't you see? It's only a matter of time before they come looking for me. I have to end this."

"And how!? How are you going to end this Sakura!? How do you plan on stopping that?" I said stabbing a finger at the destruction on the t.v. "You walk in there and you die."

"I have a plan."

"Oh, do elaborate." I said with sarcasm.

"Everything that is happening in Tomoeda is all stemmed from Clow. Clow is the boss, he gives every single order and is the main control. He gave himself absolute power with no heir to take over should he fail. That's his weakness Syaoran, his self-belief that he can't be brought down. You take Clow out, and then the organization falls apart. With no leader, Clow disintegrates. The Clow Organization falls apart. I've seen the people he has on his side. They are totally dependent on him. Most of them are working against their will in fear of Clow. With no Clow…there is no war."

I looked down at her with my mind shuffling her words and trying to make sense of them.

"And how can you kill him Sakura? What makes you invincible?"

She gulped.

"I know everything about his plan. I know where assassins are stationed, I know exactly where Clow is hiding and how to get into the building where he is. There's a good chance no one will kill me either if they think I'm still on their side too."

"That's all great for you Sakura but let me ask you this, what about Rhaya?"

Sakura took a deep breath in a looked at the ground. A cluster of emotions flew through her head but she knew what was right.

"I love her Syaoran." She said blazing her green eyes into mine. "I am doing this for her. Because if she dies because people are after me, then I will never forgive myself. As long as Clow is still alive, she will never be safe."

I shook my head at complete disbelief at what she was saying.

"You're choosing them over her?"

"I'm not choosing Syaoran when there's no choice! I have to do something. Our friends are out there too you know!"

"It's not our fight Sakura! I'm not a part of Li and you're not part of Clow. They won't care about us!"

"You don't understand Syaoran! Yue WILL find me, he won't let me leave especially under Clow's orders and because-" She broke off suddenly.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Yue would have to be involved on levels that were less professional and more lustful in nature. "Oh and I wonder why." I said with bitterness that caused her face to scowl.

"Really? You want to play that card? Syaoran? Seriously? After Kayami!?"

"We all know why that happened don't we!?"

"Oh please Syaoran as bad as Yue can be at least he didn't follow me halfway across the country to the Valley and is now passed out on the couch. Yue's bad, but he's not a psychopath like Kayami."

"Well he didn't do it this time but nothing stopped him coming to Japan after an earthquake to drag you back to China!"

"That's different! Are you always going to be this jealous every time I mention his name?"

"I think I have a right to be!"

"Are we seriously having this argument?"

In a matter of minutes we went from what I knew to be a 'happy family' to arguing venomously.

In the midst of our fighting we never heard Rhaya wake up, wipe her groggy eyes and make her way to the kitchen. Standing at the doorframe watching her parents once again, argue.

Sakura was the first to notice as her mouth snapped shut and her eyes widened.

Rae stood at the doorframe with a face I couldn't read. Her eyes were blank with disappointment; her mouth formed a hard line. The bags under her eyes gave away troubles that a fourteen year old girl should never have to go through.

"Rae-"

"I'm going to bed." She said cutting me off and turning around before I could form words to apologize.

She swiftly left the room and went upstairs, leaving a stale and guilty atmosphere behind.

Sakura and I looked at each other, both of us knowing that our parenting skills were nothing short of terrible.

I thought Sakura would strike back, shout at me, hate me for the things that were said but instead, she took my hands into hers.

"Syaoran, in three days Clow will realize that I've run away. But before that, for the few precious days we have left, let's call a truce. Whatever we decide to do with Tomoeda, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now, lets' just…be together. I owe Rhaya answers, and won't leave here until I at least try and get forgiveness from her. Can we…try and do that?" She asked with the sincerest look on her face.

I cupped her face on my hand and kissed her gently.

"Of course we can."

X x x

Rae's POV:

Sleep was determined not to come to me that night.

I lay in the bed all too familiar to me, my bed. To be back in the Valley was a strange feeling, so different compared to the claustrophobia and chaos that flooded Tomoeda. I stared at the clock which only read two o'clock in the morning.

I groaned and sat up. The unsettling feeling in my stomach would not rest. I longed to be back in the Valley, the place I use to call my home. My room had remained untouched from the day I departed. Some clothes were still tousled from the drawers from when Aunt Tomoyo rushed me to pack. The book I was reading was still faced down on the page I was reading. Even my wardrobe door was still ajar from when I left, unknowing to me that by 'left' it was actually fled from.

And now I was back, back in the place I though was my home. For years I thought I'd never get out of the valley. I assumed I'd live here forever with Tomoyo. I thought I'd die here myself. But after being away for over eight months, I had changed so much; seen things I thought were only fit for crime shows and for places far, far away.

So much had changed, I had changed. I went from Rae Daidouji, parentless and uncultured to anything outside the Valley to Rhaya Li, daughter of the two greatest assassins in Japan, and witnessed more than my young self should ever had to witness.

I sighed and slumped back onto the bed. The world was so…bleak…

I never understood Syaoran's despair, his stubbornness to hide himself from the world and throw himself into depression. I couldn't understand how he could hate the world so much, but now I know. He's seen so much cruelty, been through so many hardships, so much betrayal, heartbreak and pain, how could he be optimistic.

Now, with the reunification of my parents after so long…It's still not enough. They hate each other. I've seen the hate in each other's eyes. After wanting to be together for so long, the world still won't let them. Even if it did, how long can it last?

Maybe I was being too optimistic. Maybe I should accept that in this grim world, there is no room for love. There are no happy endings here, just a constant chain of sadness with the occasional glimpse of happiness, until someone is killed.

I felt my heart become so heavy. My eyes watered with the knowledge I always knew. It was too good to be true; all of it was just too good to be true. Syaoran and Sakura…a family, it won't happen because of who they are. Aunt Tomoyo, there are some days I wish you took me with you. Maybe I could have done something to save you; then again if it weren't for me, you would still be alive.

In fact, if it weren't for me, maybe the pain between my parents wouldn't be as deep. Maybe they would have found each other, they could have been happy, or at least have had a fighting chance.

I sighed loudly, everything was so messed up.

I swung my feet over the side of the bed and landed them onto the cool floor. Then there was the whole thing with Sakura….What was even going on there? The confrontation earlier was so bizarre…I feel like I witnessed every shade Sakura had.

But…there was a connection. For the briefest moment, she wasn't just an assassin hell bent on revenge over Syaoran. She was so human-like, so innocent the way she tilted her head to the side and bit her lip, naïve and...like me.

I knew the feeling rising inside of me was utter guilt. I told her I didn't want her, I only wanted Syaoran. No matter how tough she was, I'm sure she didn't deserve that…

Wait! No! She tried to kidnap me, twice! She pointed a gun at me! She dumped me here fourteen years ago without ever trying to find me! What if I were dead? Would she even care? Would she bother trying to find me? She doesn't know a thing about me; she never even wanted to know!

And she deprived me of a father through for her own selfish revenge!

How could I have felt a connection? She doesn't care, how could she? Why should I care if she leaves tonight? She could never come back for all I care! Me and Syaoran are just fine together!

I suddenly tensed. My arms glued themselves to my side as my head whirled around towards the door. My heart beat hard definite beats. Call it my sixth sense again, but I could sense someone on the other side of the door. I knew it wasn't Syaoran, Syaoran would have knocked, this person was just standing there like a lost presence.

I got up onto my feet and trekked very slowly and cautiously towards the door. For a minute I just stood there staring at the door with my heart racing. Finally I plucked up the little courage I had in me to open the door.

The door swung back very slowly and there she was. Cloaked in the darkness standing there with her posture crippled. The only light I could see was the emerald reflection of her eyes as they slowly crawled up to meet my face. She bore no gun.

The expression on her face told me that she too, stared at the door at a loss for actions. Her smooth face had an unreadable expression before she smiled a little, showing her white teeth. Her smile was awkward, unsure of itself. The atmosphere was tense, but not in a bad way, just floating there until someone broke the silence.

"You're good." She said half-laughing referring to my sixth sense.

I did not laugh to ease her weariness. I just stared back at her. I was mad at her a while ago, I didn't want to know her but now…I didn't know what to think. She blurs my senses. Maybe that's because in spite of our detached history…I wanted answers. I thrived on the knowledge that maybe there could be a breakthrough with us but knowing…it was not likely.

She was different now, less assassin mode, more like a human.

"I thought you would have left by now." I said as I cleared my throat.

She bit her lip and nodded a little, understanding where my speculation was coming from.

Then her lips parted. "Rhaya, you have every right to hate me right now, and I don't blame you but…I know you have questions. And…I know I've avoided this confrontation for so long but…I want to tell you everything. I want to just…explain why I…why I…"

"Why you left me?" I finished for her and pressed my lips into a hard line.

Sakura stiffened but took it understandingly.

"Basically…" She said and rubber her arm like she felt a chill. "And…maybe when I do….explain… we can, I don't know…" She trailed off.

We both didn't know where that sentence would lead to.

I nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to come in. I gulped and closed the door behind us. In doing so, I shut off the world. My mother and I were alone after so many years. There was no Syaoran, no Clow or Li or Kayami to interrupt us. I had Sakura to myself, and I suddenly felt frightened.

Did I want to know? Did I want to try and make this work? Was there anything salvable from our estranged relationship?

Sakura's eyes did not settle on me, but instead they travelled around my room, landing on photos, art sets and other things that were tell-tale signs of my traits. She couldn't seem to take the small smile off her lips.

"Wow, this room has changed so much." She said as she examined it. Her finger pointed to the far corner of the room. "That's where your cot was. There was this, mobile thing that hung over and it played the most annoying song!" She laughed. "Tomoyo never stopped playing it even when you weren't born."

I sat in silence and watched her relive the very few days we had together before she left. Seeing her so human was strange. I just did not know what to make of Sakura.

I sunk onto the bed and clenched my fingers into the mattress with nerves. I couldn't stop staring at her face. She was so…beautiful. A unique type of beautiful. Her skin was white as milk and seemed to radiate its own glow. Her hair was a light brown that seemed to have a gold veil over it. Of course, her eyes were her strongest feature. When she looked at you with innocence it could exude a calmness inside of you but when they were sharp and wicked, which I knew too well they could be, they looked into your very soul. To be told my resemblance to her was astonishing, I took it as such a compliment. Of course, her beauty also showed her hardships in the form of a faded, yet noticeable scar under her eye. Forever marked by the demons of her world.

She slowly and cautiously sat on the bed beside me. She kept about a two foot distance from me. Only then did I notice the scar on her upper arm, the burn mark from Li.

She breathed in and out before breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Tomoyo." She whispered giving away deep despair.

I nodded.

"She was good to you." Sakura added.

"Yeah," I commented and gritted my teeth, "She was like a mother to me."

Sakura winced at my comment and hung her head a little lower.

"Rhaya…I know that, our first meeting was…tense." She said referring to her kidnapping me back in Tomoeda. "Believe me; I didn't want it to be like that. I just panicked when I knew you were in Tomoeda and with Syaoran and-" She broke off.

I could hear the nerved in her voice. My coldness was getting us nowhere. Yet I still didn't know what to say.

"We, never got a chance to…talk. And…I know you have a lot of questions and I'll answer everything."

I bit my lip. There it was, an opportunity to find out all I wanted to know about her but…

"My whole life I've wanted answers. Where I came from, who you and Syaoran were, why Aunt Tomoyo raised me but…now, I don't think I want to know anymore." I took a deep breath in. "I guess I wanted to know why you left me here but, now I know nothing is a straight forward answer."

"Well you have that right." She agreed. "Rhaya…" She said and looked to be bracing herself. "I didn't leave you with Tomoyo because I didn't love you-"

"No." I said. "No, you left here because you wanted to get back at Syaoran. Because he hurt you or maybe I would just remind you of him, maybe you just hated that about me."

"Rhaya no!" She said expanding her eyes and snapped her head up.

"Then why now!" I said raising my voice. "Why did you come for me now? It was because you knew I was with Syaoran. You couldn't stand the thought of him knowing me, of anyone knowing me!? Is that why you put me in the middle of nowhere for Tomoyo to raise me?"

"Rhaya," She said shaking her head from side to side slowly and reached a hand for me.

"Then why now!?" I snapped and retreated from her touch. "Would you have looked for me if I never found Syaoran? If Tomoyo was still alive and doing your job for you!?"

Sakura's hand fluttered to her mouth. She dropped her hand and with eyes full of sadness she answered, "No."

I threw my head towards the opposite wall. My hands were shaking; I couldn't understand all this anger that had flashed inside me. No, she wouldn't have come for me. Just as I thought, she just didn't want Syaoran to have me. My heart was slamming against my ribcage, I could feel a lump in my throat but I would not let her see me cry over her.

"Not yet anyway." She said. "Rhaya," She said touching my shoulder even though I shrugged her off. "Please understand, it wasn't the right time. As long as there was Clow and Li you would never have been safe. Clow is an evil man. If he knew about you, he would have used it against me. He would have hurt to secure my loyalty. As long as I was with Clow you were never safe. I thought if I could bring down Clow from the inside then I could find you."

"It's just about YOU isn't it?" I said looking at her with my blurred vision. "What about me? Did you ever think about me? Once?"

"Of course I did Rhaya, every day for fourteen years all I did was think about you. Rhaya, I couldn't take you with me. It wasn't fair on you."

"And what you did was? You kept me from Syaoran. You made sure I'd never know him."

She gulped and looked down. "What was I supposed to do Rhaya? Take you with me to live in Shanghai while I killed people. Was I supposed to raise you around killers? Put your life at risk?"

She took the brave move and closing the gap between us just an inch. "That wasn't a life you deserved or wanted Rhaya. It wasn't fair to do that to you. Believe me I thought, before you were born, that I could. I thought I could have you in secret. I thought that I could keep you away from all the evil but-" Sakura chocked on her words.

It took me a second to register that her eyes were welling up. She was struggling to hold it together. I didn't think she would have had the emotion to cry.

"But it's not possible to live in two worlds."

I clenched my fists. "Couldn't you have tried? At least I would have known you." I said still holding on to a tinge of anger.

Sakura shook her head very definite. "No Rhaya, you'd only grow to hate me."

"You don't know that! You think you know me but you don't you don't know anything about me! I could have survived it!" I argued and stubbornly refused to take into account anything she said. "You don't know how it could have been!"

"But I do." She said in a concrete tone. "My mother did it to me. She thought she could raise me and my brother in two different worlds but, it's impossible. You cannot escape Li or Clow. My mother tried and died because of it. And look at me." She said looking at me dead on. "Despite my mother's efforts she couldn't stop my downfall into Li. And now I'm stuck in it. The worst part is that in the end, I didn't even really know what kind of woman my mother was. And I hated her for that. It took me some years to figure that out."

Sakura sighed and looked out at the black night through the window. "I didn't want you to hate me like I ended up hating my mother. Believe me Rhaya, you didn't want my childhood. I wanted all of this to end with me to give you a chance at a normal life. Get married, have kids, not have to look behind your back for danger every day of your life."

She averted her eyes towards me with a faint hint of a smile, tears still on the verge of falling. "You were happy Rhaya, weren't you? You were happy with Tomoyo. She didn't give you an awful life did she?"

A tear fell from my left eye before it was rubbed away quickly by the back of my hand. My eyes drifted towards the window as my brain collapsed into an intense nostalgia. I remember the summers I spent with Aunt Tomoyo by the river fishing for salmon, barbeques in cool evenings while listening to folk music Tomoyo cultured me with. The freezing winters in our house from poor central heating, yet Tomoyo always had a warm fire going and Christmas movies always running on the TV. Coming home from school to a house that smelled like a home with Tomoyo's home cooking.

Even though I didn't have a lot of friends, I always had Tomoyo. She always believed in me, loved me cherished me. She wasn't just a mother-like figure to me, she was my everything. She taught me how to read, walk, cook, knit, paint, fish, and so many other countless things. Yes, my childhood was not as eventual as other children my age. I didn't know how to use a computer, I didn't have a phone until Syaoran gave me one. I wore clothes Tomoyo made for me or clothes from a local store, never brand names, and my overall appearance never bothered me until Fanran introduced me to the world of cosmetics. Nevertheless…my childhood was a happy one. I was never unhappy until the day I had to leave her…

"I had everything I ever wanted." I said feeling my heart tug at itself.

Sakura nodded with a smile of some sort of relief.

"I loved Tomoyo. She was my world for so long, but…now I don't have her anymore."

I looked down at my palms and fought with my inner thoughts.

"Rhaya…" She said touching my hair, satisfied I didn't retreat from her touch.

"But," I said cutting her off. "She wasn't…you. No matter how much I wanted her to be my mother, no matter how much I wanted to call her mom she wouldn't let me. She always told me that, my mother loved me more than anyone in the world. No matter how good Tomoyo was to me there was always an emptiness. As much as I loved Tomoyo I always wanted to know you. I spent my whole life thinking you would one day show up on my doorstep. I even imagined it so many times and then…you turned out to be…"

"A disappointment." Sakura said with her hands shaking. Sakura didn't stop herself from letting her tears fall. It was like I delivered the ultimate blow. Her worst nightmare.

I shook my head. I was dizzy, my body was weak from all this emotion I had built up for so long. "I loved you even though I didn't know you. I always told myself no matter what your reasons were I'd forgive you."

"You can't forgive me now?" She said with a sob in her throat and her face distraught.

"In a matter of weeks Syaoran loved me. He fought for me, he…cared about me so much. I thought after Tomoyo nobody would care for me again but he did. You took that from me. He doesn't care about Clow or Li. He wanted me. I could have had that from the beginning!"

Sakura swallowed and nodded heavily, accepting my words. "Your father is a lot stronger than I am. He's also unrealistic."

"Rhaya," She said after pregnant pause and grabbed my wrist in desperation, afraid she was losing me altogether. "Please don't shut me out. I know I don't deserve it but please… I love you Rhaya, I never stopped. I did everything I did to protect you."

"How can I believe you? It took fourteen years for you to come for me! You didn't care enough to see if I were still alive! I could have been dead and you wouldn't have known, you never would have known! How can you say you loved me? You abandoned me! You didn't care!" I shouted and stood up and went to leave.

So much anger and pain coursed through my veins. I felt sick. Hearing my words aloud made me want to vomit. Then I realised these feelings, they were feelings of neglect. I was aware for fourteen years I had a mother who left me. That constant consciousness of knowing somewhere out there was a woman who decided she didn't or couldn't keep her daughter. It suddenly wasn't enough for her to come back into my life. I was never an anybody because of her. I was never truly a Daidouji, I had no identity, I didn't know who I was.

"Rhaya!" She said and grabbed me by the shoulders, placing a firm grip there. "Of course I loved you. And I was there!"

"How can you say that!? Don't lie to my face." I said nearly keeling over anger and frustration.

"You didn't know it but I was there Rhaya! You just weren't allowed to know about it." She said with her voice shaking. She was trying to make me understand something but I was too uncontrollable to listen.

"No!" I said trying to pry out of her iron grip.

"Rhaya," She placed a hand on my cheek. That once touch was so soft and gentle that it forced me to stop my wailing. "I was there. On your first birthday. I saw you take your first steps while you gripped the radiator downstairs for support I was there, in front of you. You walked towards me, you grabbed my finger and smiled, like you knew who I was. When you started school when you were four I watched you from the far school gate. You spent your breaks drawing Sakura Trees with Masuyoki Kimi. And when all the kids kept bullying you and pushing you off the swings, I bought you the biggest swing set I could find. And that time you fell out of the tree house and got a concussion when you were eight, I visited you in hospital every night when you were asleep. I always left pink roses by your windowsill."

The redness of my face diminished. My head became dizzy as my anger subdued, lulled by what she was saying. I stopped struggling and couldn't pry my eyes from her soft smile through her tears. I remember that swing set. It was bright pink and yellow. I'll never forget it. It just magically appeared one day. When I thanked Tomoyo, Tomoyo said it was from 'someone who cares a lot for me.' At that age I just considered myself lucky. I never questioned who it was. And I remembered the pink roses in the hospital. They were beautiful. And Masuyoki Kimi was my best friend at school.

"You…you were there?" I asked in a small voice.

Sakura nodded and smiled, showing off her perfect teeth. I never even noticed she was stroking my hair. She no longer had an iron hand on my shoulder. Her other hand cupped my cheek so lovingly.

"I remember when you got your hair cut for the first time and you cried for days because you hated it. And when you won the junior triathlon in Gotsumayu, I was so proud of you that day. I wanted to hug you so bad." She sobbed at the last word. "I just wanted to tell you how proud I was, I wanted to come back into your life so many times but I couldn't."

"Why not? You could have, I always wanted you too." I said with my tone now sympathetic.

"I promised I wouldn't."

"To who?"

"First to Tomoyo. I was still in deep with Clow. I couldn't just talk with you and leave. It wasn't fair to you and I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't want to leave you. I'd want to take you away. But you were so happy with Tomoyo Rae, I was even jealous of the life you had. And then Eriol made me promise not to come back if I couldn't take care of you properly. You were Tomoyo's only chance to have a child. She was infertile, you were the closest she could have. I didn't want to take that from her."

"How did I not notice you?"

Sakura swallowed as her eyes fell into sadness. "Those very rare times I could escape Clow, I always watched you from afar, or through a window. I promised Tomoyo and Eriol that they could raise you, but I couldn't stay away. It was like a craving, I just needed to see you when I could, which I'll admit, was so little. When you were younger, at Christmas Tomoyo would let me sit in the pantry and listen to you talk, just about normal things. Then you'd laugh and I'd know, you were happy and taken care of."

I didn't think I could cry anymore, but I was wrong.

"Yes Rhaya, I was there. For every Christmas, every Birthday, and sometimes in between. Although it was only ever for a day or two. But as you got older, it became harder to sneak around. Plus, you could always sense me the older you got."

I furrowed my brows before I realised what she meant. I knew my sixth sense was never wrong. The feeling of being followed when I was younger wasn't me just going crazy.

"The last time I saw you was on your tenth birthday. I was in too deep with Clow; they were catching on to where I was going. The past four years were the most painful in my whole life. I use to write to Tomoyo. She would send me pictures of you, she let me know that you were happy. But," She sighed. "I always had to burn them after I read them, I couldn't risk being caught. It was a vicious circle."

Her eyes looked into mine with such calmness a gentleness I've only ever seen with Tomoyo.

"I'm sorry it had to be from afar, but I never for a second stopped thinking about you. I love you Rhaya. If anything, please believe that. Please, I'm begging you, don't shut me out. I don't know how much time we have left together before the chaos in Tomoeda affects us here. Please, let me try, try to make up for not being there now."

She did care about me, she truly did love me. Everything she said was too detailed for her to possibly be lying. Every mis-conception I had about her was abolished; every harsh thought and theory was proven wrong. I was loved by my mother, she…she cared about me.

I was not a nobody. The reality was, I had two parents who loved me so dearly. They both loved me, they both wanted so bad to be a part of my life. They would…die for me. I was not the woeful orphan, I was Rhaya Li, and I was loved.

"…Mom…" I said with my voice breaking, shattering at being able to say the word without fear or feelings of neglect and abandonment.

I threw myself into my mothers' arms and cried for all the years I had without her, for all the time I thought I was hated, not worthy. My mother had, finally after all these years, returned to me.

X x x

Syaoran's POV:

In the silence of night I sat on the porch staring at the palms of my hands.

Sakura disappeared for a while to God knows where and I was left with despairing thoughts. What if she did leave? Or worse, what if she was right? What if Clow did hunt her and Rae down? Was there any escaping this?

I sighed and rose to my feet. There was no point mulling over it over and over again. Sakura was right; time was precious at the moment. It was only a matter of days before Tomoeda troubles reach us.

I stretched and pondered on where I should probably sleep. I was sure there was a spare room in this house somewhere…

I was just at the staircase when I heard tittering followed by the faintness of a laugh. There was a faded orange glow from Rhaya's room.

I raised an eyebrow to myself baffled. It was close to four in the morning and I thought the scene of myself and Sakura fighting would have knocked her out. The stairs moaned as I climbed them slowly and hesitantly. Poking my head over the landing I squinted to try and see through the sliver thin gap in her room. There dim light did not aid my sight, prodding me to have a closer look.

Once at the door I froze to hear another laugh, Sakura's laugh. What was Sakura doing in there? With Rhaya. I listened in a little more and heard no screaming, no shouting, no threats, cries or fighting, just simple light murmuring.

I risked a peek in and what I saw made my heart swell to a size I never knew it could reach.

"Your hair was so short!" Rhaya exclaimed wide eyed as she stared with a twinkling delight at the picture in Sakura's hand.

Sakura laughed as Rhaya scrutinized the picture. "Believe it or not that picture was taking after it grew out. I remember the first time I cut when I was twelve, I cried for months! My mother even bought me a hat." Sakura said laughing loudly and pinching the bridge of her nose in embarrassment.

It's been years since I've seen Sakura laugh that much. So long since she's been this happy…

In Sakura's hand there was a black box bursting with photos. A collage of photos were scattered around the two of them from all the years Tomoyo bore that annoying camera. I guess she saved every last picture.

I could have stood there for years watching them. They both lay on the bed as if they were there for days sinking into the security of the mattress. Rhaya's head rested on Sakura's shoulder and in return Sakura's cheeks pressed against Rhaya's scalp. It was the idyllic picture of mother and daughter. Sakura's free hand played at the ends of Rhaya's hair unknowingly.

"Oh my God," Rhaya said picking up another picture. "Syaoran does not look happy in this one."

"Oh I remember that." Sakura giggled and rubbed her eye. "That was the day Rika forgot to pick him up from a mission in Kyoto. I had to drive four hours in the middle of the night to pick him up. We didn't actually go home that night. There was this pretzel stand still open so we sat by a lake eating. That was a good night. For me anyway."

I smiled. I remembered that night too. We had so many good times through all the bad we just lost sight of them.

I turned to leave; I wanted to give them their space.

"Hey!" I heard one of them call.

I turned back and two sets of eyes were on me. Realizing I was caught stood halfway through the door.

"Hey," I replied back. "Looks like you two are getting on fine." I said smirking. "I'll give you some space."

Sakura and Rhaya looked at each other and smirked, mirroring each other.

"Get in here." Sakura said and lolled her head towards me.

Rhaya moved over to make a perfect space for me. The weight of fatigue could not keep me away. As I sat on the bed there was something so beautifully right about it. The three of us, here, in one room. Mother, father and daughter. No awkwardness, no more needing to explain this or that, what was here was just…a family. Despite the enormous obstacles and the extreme unlikelihood of this moment every happening...here it was.

"Do you remember this one?" Sakura said holding a picture up towards me, her small pearly white teeth showing.

"Could I ever forget it?" I said taking it from her and smiling with nostalgia at the picture of me and her looking miserable as we looked away from each other. "That was the time I got drunk on your birthday." I said and we both fell into fits of laughter.

"I was so mad at you." She said with a glint in her eye.

"You wouldn't talk to me for days,"

"You wonder why?"

"What did you do?" Rhaya asked swerving her head from me to Sakura.

"Syaoran forgot we were staying in that night and went out with Eriol and a few other work people," Sakura said to Rhaya. "He came home legless, he could not see two feet in front of him. The apartment was FULL of people he just met. They made such a mess," She exclaimed and put her hand to her face as she remembered the embarrassment I put her through. "Then this Russian lady who lived upstairs came and…"

I don't remember how long we reminisced about our past, but I'd say Rhaya re-lived the good times Sakura and I had. It should have always been this way. It shouldn't have turned out the way it did but…we have some time left.

Let us not think of what is yet to come…

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College is finished for this year and I'm soooooo BORED!

I've actually started to communicate with my cat i'm so bored :O They actually make quite good company.

So unless I find a summer job soon, I should be updating this fanfic quicker (fingers crossed!)

Anyway, next chapter should have an appearance from the delightful Yue, will Sakura stay or goooooo...?

R&R!