Chapter 37

The funeral

"What?"

Silence filled the room. She just looked at him, eyes wide in shock.

"You heard what I said."

As much as he was convinced that this was right, the words hadn't been meant to come out so quickly. He couldn't bring himself to say them again, not when she had that look of incredulity on her face.

"I... I just can't believe that you mean it. I mean, maybe your tongue just slipped, or you pity me because I'm so damn pathetic.."

"No, no, it's not that! I don't pity you! It's just that I realized how much you love me and that this is meant to last forever..."

"Sweet of you, but really, you realized that only now? Where have you been the last two years? I thought I'd been quite obvious."

"And you were. But I never learned how much you really felt for me. I couldn't believe that I could possibly be as important to you as you are to me. It's still hard to believe..."

"Remus Lupin, you have a severe problem of self-esteem. Of course I'll marry you!"

With that, she rolled on top of him and kissed him fiercely. Remus pulled her closer and enjoyed the feeling of holding her in his arms. He didn't have a ring or even an idea how he should pay a wedding. These were dark times and it would be difficult to organize everything without being discovered by Death Eaters. The ceremony wouldn't be as wonderful as Remus wanted it to be. He wouldn't be able to give his Dora everything she deserved, everything he wanted for her. But then, he would never be and he had finally noticed that it didn't matter to her. All that mattered were them and Dora would be happy to be at his side, no matter where. There was enough time to search for a ring. He would ask Arthur for help. Tomorrow, in a few days. No need to hurry. With Dora in his arms, he felt invincible, invulnerable. Death Eaters? They should come and try to destroy his happiness, they would see where it got them.

XxxxxxxxxX

"Remus, do you really think pink is an appropriate hair colour for a funeral?"

"Love, it's Dumbledore's funeral. He would have been happy that you're wearing your favourite colour again."

Remus walked over to his lover and placed a soft kiss on her head.

"Really? I guess you're right, but it still seems a bit out of place..."

"Since when are you wondering about other people's opinions?"

"It's not that. I don't care if Umbridge or Scrimgeour give me odd looks. I just... It's Dumbledore's funeral. I don't want to besmirch his memory, if you know what I mean..."

"You won't. He liked your hair and I can see why. I know what this ceremony is going to be like. There will be a lot of ministry officials who will hold speeches long enough to make everyone fall asleep in bright daylight and none of their words will have much to do with the real Albus Dumbledore. Everything will be absolutely conventional and he would have hated it. A little spot of colour would be appreciated, believe me."

While he had been speaking, Tonks had turned around to face him, no longer staring into the mirror. Her eyes had gone wet and first tears were streaming down her face.

"I know. Thank you."

She barely whispered the words, but he heard her nonethless. He would always hear her. Sighing, Remus took her in his arms and hugged her close to him. Her fingers dug into his back, but he didn't complain. He knew what she was feeling and he was grateful for the consolation of their embrace. Carefully, Tonks loosened her grip and took a step back, whiping the tears from her eyes.

"We should go now, right? I don't want to be late."

Smiling, Remus entwined their fingers and led her down the stairs. Aberforth was already gone. Screening the deserted place with his eyes, Remus knew that they couldn't stay here much longer. After the night of Dumbledore's death, he and Tonks had changed from the Three Broomsticks to the Hogshead. First, it was cheaper, for the ministry had ended Tonks' mission and therefore didn't pay the rent any longer. Second, everyone knew that Hogsmeade and its surroundings would be flooded with wizards and witches from all over the world who would want to attend the funeral of the greatetst wizard of all times. They knew that Aberforth wouldn't have liked to see his pub filled to the top with strangers while he was grieving for his brother. Of course he didn't show, but Remus knew that despite all their differences, Aberforth had still loved Albus and that it wasn't as easy for him as he wanted them all to believe. So Remus, Tonks and a few other members of the order had moved in to keep other guests out.

But as comfortable as the chamber they had been given was, it was time to look for something of their own. Remus didn't really want to force Tonks to live in his shabby appartment, but at least for a while there was no alternative. Not until they had found something else, what would soon enough proof rather difficult seeing that few people were willing to rent to a werewolf. A sudden pressure on his hand woke him out of his reverie. He turned his head to look at the woman at his side. Tonks' smiled at him, a weak smile, but a smile nevertheless. She had known that he was deep in thoughts and that his musings had turned to a direction she didn't approve. She always knew and Remus was greateful that she kept him from thinking too much. It was more than possible that otherwise, he would do something foolish. Like leaving her for her own good. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but sometimes the thought sneaked upon him. They still hadn't told anyone of their engagement. There wasn't a ring. Remus had feared Tonks would be mad at him for all this hesitation, but she didn't say anything. He guessed that she hadn't expected him to propose anyway and that waiting wasn't so hard on her right now.

Smiling back, he walked on and they left the dim room for the bright sunlight of a summer's day. It seemed like even the weather was paying its respect by being the most beautiful possible for those who came to honour the memory of Albus Dumbledore.

XxxxxxxxxX

As Remus had predicted, the rows in front of Dumbledore's body were filled with ministry officials. Members of the order, old friends, pupils, teachers and normal civilians who wanted to pay there respects were scattered in the rows behind them. There was no line of order members sitting next to each other. The ceremony began and a tiny wizard spoke with hardly any emphasis of Dumbledore's achievements, leaving out the great man he had been. Remus felt the tears coming up. That was so typical for the ministry. Engaging someone to hold a speech but insisting on objectivity. No personal comment, despite all the old friends and colleagues in these rows. Only his goals in sciences of all sorts, something no one here was interested in. They didn't want to hear that Albus Dumbledore had been highly intelligent. That was widely known, thank you. No, they wanted to hear about the wonderful, kind man who helped everyone without regard of other's opinions. The man who had never cared what the ministry thought of his actions, but what his protégés could get out of them. The man who had offered trust when no one else trusted you. The man who had accepted all children as his pupils, not caring if their families consisted of Muggles or Purebloods, if they were werewolves or poor or not accepted in wizarding society. Albus Dumbledore had given so much, only for his funeral speech to consist of nothing but facts.

Looking about, Remus saw his emotions reflected in other's eyes. Minerva seemed furious and glared at the man in front of them stammering through his speech without taking his eyes from the paper in his hands. Most of the people in the back rows seemed offended and sad about this turn of events. But no one wanted to confront the ministry about their decision. They all knew that it would lead to nowhere. Still, they felt betrayed in their right to honour the Dumbledore they had known, not the one the ministry wanted everyone to see. Hogwarts' headmaster had been more than just a few facts in a history book. Next to him, he could hear Tonks' silent sobs. Her hair stayed pink, but her eyes searched the rows in front of them for Harry and his friends. A look of incredulity and detestation didn't leave her face as she followed the speech. Her gaze wandered to Umbridge and Scrimgeour in the very first row. No doubt that the two of them were responsible for this disaster. Remus could follow her train of thought. He also looked out for his best friend's son. This had to be hard for Harry. After all, he had known Dumbledore best for the last few years and the headmaster had been something like a father for him. The boy had to bear so much loss. The world's fate weighed on his shoulders despite his youth and everyone he looked up to, everyone who could help him with his task died right in front of him. Remus felt his heart constrict at the idea of how lonely Harry had to feel at the moment. He had Hermione and Ron at his side, but still they weren't forced to follow him whereas he was the only one who could fulfill the task, who could bring Voldemort down.

A shower of arrows distracted him from his musing. The centaurs had paid there respect to Dumbledore, way more effectively than the ministry. For a short moment, Remus felt amused at the expression of panic on Umbridge's face. But then he turned back to Harry. Until now, he hadn't noticed Ginny sitting next to the boy. She had turned around and he could see the tears on her face, the look of silent resignation. Tonks saw it, too. The pain in her beautiful face hit him.

"What is it?"

"Haven't you seen them?"

"Ginny and Harry?"

"Yes."

"I have. But still, why is it bothering you so much?"

"Don't you see what he is doing?"

Remus' gaze wandered back. He had an idea, but he still didn't know why Tonks was reacting like this.

"I have a guess. But that doesn't answer my question."

"He's breaking up with her. He's breaking up with her because he's trying to be noble, to protect her. But he can't. We're all in danger right now. This is no way of protecting her. I know what she's feeling, even though she's taking it with much more countenance than I. I think we both know where he got the idea."

"Dora, I'm sure he would have acted like that anyway. Ginny's still underage, he can't take her with him. And he shouldn't."

"I know. But that's no reason to break her heart. Or his own. Her parents, her brothers are members of the order. She's a blood traitor. Voldemort used her once to get to Harry, when she was nothing more but his best friend's little sister. Doing that to her is not protecting her. He will be aiming at her anyway."

"But she's in more danger when he gets to know what she means to him. Like this marriage will endanger you further."

"Why should I be any more endangered than I already am? I'm in the front line, Remus. I'm a soldier. There's hardly more danger to attract than I'm already in."

"Greyback will try to get at you. Now that he knows that I have been the traitor."

"Well, then it's good to know that I have a strong man to protect me, isn't it?"

She grinend at him, the tears already drying on her cheeks in the bright sunlight. Remus knew that Nymphadora Tonks didn't need anyone to protect her, but it still felt good to be there, just in case.

"I think so. But for now we should end the discussion and leave, for we're about the last two down here."

They looked up. The rows were almost empty, the guests either on their way to the gates to apparate home or on a visit to the castle.

"But just for now."

Tonks rose fom her chair and offered Remus her hand. Finger entwined, they left the scene in front of the white tomb.