The car was silent. Tony sat in the back with McGee and Jimmy-the former passed out against the latter's shoulder-his head pounding against his skull. Up front Gibbs sat behind the steering wheel, periodically checking the rearview mirror, his eyes full of amusement.
Tony thought back to how he ended up in the back seat of his boss's car, two plastered friends sitting next to him, on his way home from jail. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed McGee into those last two shots. Maybe he should have cut Palmer off after one beer. Or maybe he shouldn't have gone with Tim's suggestion for strip putt-putt. Whatever the outcome, there was one thing Tony did learn tonight, Timothy McGee got pretty weird when he was drunk. He bordered on Abby behavior.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said softly and Tony looked up to meet his boss' eyes in the rearview mirror. "What happened tonight?"
"You were there," Tony responded shrugging.
"After I left."
"Well, we went to jail." Gibbs threw him a withering stare. "Okay, jeez, you don't need to beat it out of me. But I'm going to have to start from the beginning."
"We've got another twenty-five minute drive. I'm listening."
"Okay, well McGee came and got me…"
NCIS
8 hours earlier…
"I still can't believe you spent so much on movies," Tim commented standing in front of a wall of DVDs.
"Hey, when your book collection gets smaller then come talk to me about my movie collection," Tony replied from the open bathroom door, applying aftershave to his face.
"I didn't say that was a bad thing," McGee replied shrugging. "I just…" he trailed off. "Hey, can I borrow The James Bond series."
"Which Bond? Connery, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig, or the one movie that Lazenby played in?" Tony questioned walking out of the bathroom.
"All of them, I guess," Tim answered shrugging.
"Why, you and the ninja gonna try some role playing. Now, if you're looking for a nickname, I'd go for P…" McGee punched him in the arm. "Hey, that was uncalled for."
"Let's just go," McGee grumbled heading towards the front door.
"See ya later, Abbs," Tony called up the steps.
"Take pictures," she called back. "Love you."
"Love you, too."
NCIS
Present Time…
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said and Tony looked up at him.
"Yeah boss."
"Skip ahead to the bar."
"Gotcha."
NCIS
7 hours 30 minutes earlier…
"At least it isn't laser tag," Tony commented as he followed McGee into the packed bar. "Though, I wouldn't mind a stripper or two."
"This is only phase one," Tim replied heading towards a table where Palmer, Gibbs, and Ducky already sat.
"What, didn't Vance want to come?"
"I didn't exactly invite him," McGee responded quickly, sitting down next to Ducky.
"Bold move, McGoo."
"Yeah, well, he was out of town…" Tim's voice trailed off and he shrugged. "Anyway, this is your night. Order whatever you want. It's on me."
"Are you sure, McGee?" Palmer asked curiously.
"Not you, Palmer," Tony pointed out signaling the waitress.
NCIS
Present Time…
Gibbs stopped at a stop light, and Tony clambered over the seat to sit up front. He noticed the annoyed look his boss threw him, and he gave the older man a small, 'what did I do' smile.
"It was cramped back there," he stated simply. Gibbs didn't reply, instead he began driving again.
"Where's Abby anyway?"
"Cab took her home after she called me," Gibbs replied.
"Ah," Tony muttered nodding. The two guys were quiet for a moment, but finally Gibbs threw DiNozzo a look, and the younger guy said, "Right, the rest of the story."
NCIS
5 hours 35 minutes earlier…
After a few more drinks, Gibbs and Ducky left the younger guys to their own devices. Tony noticed that Jimmy and Timmy weren't drunk enough, neither guy really drinking much, and knew he had to change that.
"Okay, this beer stuff is getting ridiculous," Tony commented signaling the waitress for their check. "I heard about this bar that has these special shots. They are made from three different types of whiskey, blended together. We need to do a few of these."
"I don't know," Jimmy said looking uncertain.
"Yeah, Tony, I thought we were…"
"Come on, McGee, Palmer. It's my night, remember. Let's go and do a couple of those shots. What's the worst that could happen…?"
NCIS
"Hey, Palmer!" McGee called giggling. "Hey, did anyone ever tell you," he giggled again, "that you look like Harry Potter with those glasses on?" He snorted, laughing so hard he nearly fell out of the booth.
"Whoa there, Timmy," Tony said catching his partner and hauling him back onto his seat. "Maybe you shouldn't have any more shots, McPlastered."
"Tony!" McGee shouted turning his attention to DiNozzo. "My partner Tony!" he then threw his arms around DiNozzo, giving him a squeeze. "I love that you always have my back."
"Okay McCuddle, you definitely have had enough."
"Maybe you shouldn't have pushed that last shot on him," Palmer commented giving Tony a pointed look.
"And maybe you should have drank it instead, Palmer," DiNozzo retorted trying to detangle himself from McGee.
"Oh my God," Tim exclaimed suddenly, pushing away from Tony. "We should go play putt-putt. No," he threw his hand out, his eyes wide; cutting off words that no one spoke, "strip putt-putt." He scrambled out of the booth, nearly lost his balance, caught himself, and ran towards the door.
"Come on," Tim called over his shoulder.
"We should…"
"Yeah," Tony agreed and he and Palmer chased after their drunken friend.
NCIS
Present Time…
"Strip putt-putt?" Gibbs questioned furrowing his eyebrows.
"I swear he turns into the male equivalent of Abby with enough alcohol in him."
"So, is that how you got arrested?"
"I'm getting to it."
NCIS
4 hours earlier…
"Tim, put your coat back on," Tony snapped moving forward to stop his friend from, once again, taking his jacket off.
"But I got a bogey," the younger man complained, taking a drink from the bottle of Jack they had bought on the cab ride over. Tim didn't want to leave his Porsche, but Tony knew none of them were fit to drive.
"Just keep your jacket on," DiNozzo replied taking the bottle from Tim. "And stop drinking. You're getting weird."
"Your turn, Harry," McGee said glaring at Tony for taking the bottle.
"That's not…" Jimmy trailed off, shaking his head. He had been called Harry so many times, Tony was surprised Palmer continued to try and correct McGee.
"Palmer, just take your shot," Tony said taking a swig from the bottle. He looked around, knowing they were going to get into trouble eventually. The putt-putt place closed hours ago, they literally had to break things to enter. They were totally getting caught.
NCIS
Present Time…
"It's not why we got caught," Tony said softly, looking out the window.
"Then why?"
Tony sighed, shaking his head. "It's stupid, boss," he finally said, turning to look Gibbs' way.
"Try me."
NCIS
3 hours 15 minutes earlier…
"Where'd he go?" Palmer whispered as he and Tony walked down the sidewalk.
"I have no clue," Tony replied looking around, trying to keep the pile of clothes in his hand while keeping an eye on the stumbling autopsy gremlin. "McGee!" he called in a stage whisper. "McGee, where are you!"
"I am the egg man!" a voice shouted and Tony looked up to see a side of McGee he never wanted to see. "I am the walrus! Goo goo g'joob!"
"Tim, get down," he said to his partner. The guy in question was standing on top of a parked car, naked, his arms spread wide.
"But I'm the walrus, Tony," McGee commented, and DiNozzo heard Palmer begin laughing next to him.
"Shut up, Palmer," DiNozzo snapped shoving McGee's clothes at Jimmy. He then stepped forward, making a grab for McGee, trying to avoid touching certain body parts.
"Nope," Tim said jumping back. He slid down the back windshield and ran away from Tony. "Catch me if you can, DiNoFun."
"McGee!" Tony called after his partner, racing to catch him, Palmer on his heels.
NCIS
Present Time…
"Apparently, one of the tenants had called the cops on us for making too much ruckus," Tony finished his story with a sigh. "So, we got arrested for disrupting the peace, public intoxication, and public urination."
"What?"
"McGee took a piss on the cop's car," Tony replied nodding. "And when we got hauled off, Very Special Agent McGee sang 'I fought the law.'"
"Tony, are we still in jail?" a groggy voice asked from the back seat.
"No, McGee, Gibbs came and got us," DiNozzo replied softly.
"Good," Tim responded and passed out again.
"Sleep well, McWalrus," Tony whispered and he noticed Gibbs smirk. As bachelor parties go, it didn't have the greatest outcome, but Tony already knew it was going to be the most memorable. Or, well, for him and Palmer at least.
NCIS
So, yeah, that's what happened to the guys.
I know, very quick update, but I thought of this and I wanted it written down before I changed my mind.
Thanks for the reviews and alerts and every ounce of support last chapter... yesterday and the day before :D
I still own nothing, drop a comment, and see ya in the next chapter.
SEE YA!