Chapter 36: Back to Work

Ana sat her desk looking at the contracts that needed her attention. She was glad to be back at work. She missed the hustle and bustle of the office. She fired up her computer to check her emails.

TO: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Your Work Day

From: Christian Grey

Message:

Mrs. Grey,

I just wanted to wish you a very good day on your first day back at work. I tried to call you for the last few nights, but I kept missing you. I do hope that you and Kate had fun Saturday night dancing at Mildred's. I wish I could have been with you.

I arrived home late last night. I am hoping that I will be able to come to the Ranch to see you and the children. Please let me know.

I have missed you so much, Ana. It has been the hardest two weeks of my life. I have so much to tell you.

All my love,

Christian

Christian Grey, CEO, Grey Holdings Enterprises, Inc.

Ana read and reread his email. It sounded rather cold. She wondered if he decided that he no longer wanted to be with her. Was their date just a way for him to get into panties one last time before he went on with his life? Maybe he was returning to the BDSM lifestyle.

TO: Christian Grey

Subject: Thank You

From: Anastasia Grey

Message:

Hello Christian,

Thank you for your kind wishes on my first day back at work. It has been a busy morning. I am sorry that I missed your calls and yes, Kate and I had a very enjoyable evening out.

Of course, you are always welcomed at the Ranch to see our children. I know that they are missing you. We are so happy that you are home safe and sound.

Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?

Yours,

Ana

Anastasia Grey, CEO, Grey Publishing, Inc.

Ana's phone began to ring. She picked up the desk phone. "Grey."

"Grey, here also" She smiled when she heard that familiar voice.

"Hey, handsome." She said sitting back into her chair.

"What are you doing?" Playful Christian was in the house.

"Working on contracts. Reading a few manuscripts. Thinking about where to have lunch." She answered. "And you? How is the world of big business?"

"Meetings and more meetings. You know the usual." He replied lowly. He loved hearing her voice. "China was a nightmare. I am so damn glad to be home. Would you like to have lunch with me? I could bring it to your office."

"My office isn't sound proof, Mr. Grey." She said in a teasing way. "Whereas yours is."

"Mrs. Grey, are you insinuating something?"

"Never, Mr. Grey." She laughed. "Maybe since we haven't seen each other in two weeks, we should have lunch in public…I would hate to embarrass any of our staffs."

"The Deli?" He offered. She agreed. "At noon."

"I'll meet you there. Bye."

Ana looked at her clock and she had an hour to go before she would meet with Christian for lunch. It would be the longest hour of her life. She was conflicted over her feelings for him. Part of her missed him and another part wanted to run far away from him. She was glad that they had some time and space away from each other so they didn't move to fast to soon into a situation that would not be good for them. She was still holding back from him. She still didn't completely trust him even though she no longer had Ms. Winters trying to bait him with pretty little submissive brunettes. It was professional opinion that Christian Grey was walking the line. Ana knew it would only take time to prove if Christian was telling the truth.

Christian saw her walking down the sidewalk before she saw him sitting in the car. He loved how the breeze blew her long hair about her. She was beautiful. He opened the car door as she got closer and stepped out and buttoned his suit jacket. She smiled up at him then went into his arms for a hug. She smelled of honey and vanilla. He took her in and held her tight. Without worrying about reporters, he bent down and captured her lips with his. In the middle of the day, on a public street, Christian Grey was kissing his ex-wife hungrily. "I've fuckin missed you."

"I missed you, also." She whispered as they walked arm in arm to The Deli. He opened the door for her and gave her bottom a little swat. She only laughed at him especially when he tried to look so innocent.

Christian ordered a turkey club sandwich and ordered Ana a hot ham and cheese sandwich while Ana found them a table. She smiled as he carried their orders. She was smiling when she saw that he also got her a cup of hot tea. "You look well." She said happily.

"I am getting used to jet lag." He joked. Christian took her hand and kissed it softly. "You look so beautiful."

"Thank you, Christian."

"I saw a picture of you and Kate online from your night out. Oh, baby…I nearly exploded in my pants." Ana laughed turning a delightful shade of pink. "You will have to wear that dress for me sometime … and dance for me."

"Christian!" She exclaimed hotly.

His grey eyes twinkle in sexual wickedness. He smiled as her face turned redder. Even after having two children and all the things that they have done sexually, she still blushed. He found that very refreshing and damn sexy. "We could always go to Escala for the afternoon and you can dance for me."

Ana lost her smile and her eyes became hard. The mention of Escala threw cold water on her good mood. She sat straight and squared her shoulders. "I have to go." She took a drink of her tea then stood up. "Thank you for lunch."

Christian didn't understand what happened. They were laughing and teasing each other then she turned cold. He saw the veil of frost cover her face. He stood as she started to leave and blocked her way. "Ana, what did I do?"

"I have to go back to work. I have meetings this afternoon." She said lowly. She couldn't look at him. Her eyes stared thru him into the past. The images of him and Janna in the playroom looped through her mind. He fucked another woman in their playroom. The playroom he once said would be hers if she married him. "Please Christian let me pass."

He took hold of her wrist. "Tell me what is wrong." He pulled her close. "Please baby talk to me."

"I can't go back to Escala. Not now. I know we had a very erotic afternoon there once, but I don't want to ever go back there. All I can see is Janna. She invaded our home, our marriage bed, and our playroom." She fought the tears that welled in her eyes, but they fell on their own accord. "Please, Christian, let me go. I have to get out of here before I embarrass myself in public." Christian released her wrist.

"I'm sorry, Ana." He watched as she walked away once again. That woman was always leaving him or saying good-bye. He sat back down and looked at their uneaten food. She didn't eat.

Ana returned to her office and told Hannah that she did want to be disturbed unless the damn building was on fire. She closed and locked her door. She sat at her desk and tried to understand her feelings. "I have to be going insane. Why does this keep bothering me?" She asked out loud. "This happened almost two years ago and Christian is changing." She laid her head on her forearms and fell asleep at her desk. The dream was back and playing like a bad porno movie…..

She knew what he was doing. She knew all about Janna Kline, his little brown haired girl. Her private investigator called her and told her that Christian was at Escala as they spoke with his sub. She was still on maternity leave from giving birth to Phoebe but she was at Grey Publishing that evening to sign a few contracts so it took no time to arrive at their apartment. Ana took the service elevator after she scuttled the security camera. She didn't need Taylor giving Christian a warning to her surprise visit. She was quiet as she entered the apartment and took off her high heel shoes. She kept close to the walls and prayed that she could sneak through without being seen on the cameras. When she got to the playroom doors she had her cellphone ready to take video and pictures. The damn door wasn't even closed. Christian was so confident that he wouldn't be caught that he didn't even shut and lock the door. She could hear them in their sexual play. The sound of a whip or a crop on skin could be heard as well as the stifled cries of the sub. Ana pushed the door open just enough to film her husband's extra-marital activities. After getting a minute long video, Ana began to take pictures. After ten or so pictures, she opened the door the rest of the way so Christian could see her with the phone. He was pile-driving into Janna's ass telling her how good she felt on his cock. Ana felt like she was going to puke, but she never made a sound. She just kept clicking photographs as her beloved husband butt-fucked another woman in their playroom. One of the last photographs that she took was his pale shocked face when he realized that she was standing in the doorway. There was no feeling in her eyes as they stared at each other. She felt nothing at that moment. She was cold. Her body was freezing. Her eyes were cold blue stones in her face. He disengaged from the sexual act calling out her name. She ran! Somehow she got down the stairs without falling. Her mind was blank yet it was hurting. He was fucking another woman in their home. The home that their son was conceived in. She ran to the service elevator. He caught her as she was finding her shoes. His big hands gripped her upper arms hard as he yelled at her that the sub meant nothing to him. He was in love with her and only her. He made excuses as her heart was breaking and falling to pieces in her chest. She shoved him away and made her way into the elevator. She flipped him off as the doors closed. She fell to the floor of the elevator knowing that the doors of her marriage had been closed also. There would be no more Christian and Ana. Their marriage was over. She had more than enough proof. When the elevator came to the garage level, she picked herself up off the floor and walked to her car. She drove through the streets of Seattle finding herself at Elliot and Kate's. She barely remembers what happened next. Elliot. Pictures. Tears. Elliot yelling for Kate. Kate taking care of her. Elliot leaving then returning an hour later without a mark on him. She had overhead him telling Kate that he beat the shit out of Christian. Elliot picked Ana up cradling her close to his chest and carried her up the stairs to the guest room and put her to bed. He watched over her as she slept, but her sleep is fitful as her brain played and replayedher fateful discovery. She cried in her sleep and Elliot would wipe away her tears. He stayed beside her the rest of the night, watching over her and keeping her safe.

Ana woke up with tears streaming down her face. She wiped them away. She sat back in her office chair not knowing how to deal with these feelings of despair. She was questioning if she could ever fully forgive Christian and she doubted if she ever forget. She wanted him sexually, but could she ever live with him again as his wife? Would she ever be able to trust him? The way she was feeling today, the answer would have to be no. She would always wonder what he was truly doing when he had a late meeting or when he went on business trips.

Ana heard her Blackberry ping to warn her that she had received a text message

Christian: Why did you run? We didn't have to go to Escala. I will sell it if you wish.

Ana:. It is your choice if you wish to sell it. I don't think I could ever be there with you. Too

many horrible memories.

Christian: Done! It will be sold!

Ana threw her phone into her purse, shut off her computer, and then left her office.

"Hannah, I am stepping out for awhile. If anyone needs me, I have my phone." She declared as she walked by her assistant's desk. She went to the elevator and pushed the call button then waited for the doors to open. She was impatient. She needed to get out of the office and get some fresh air. The elevator doors open and there stands Christian Grey in his trademark gray slacks, white linen shirt and a gray suit coat. He wasn't wearing a tie. He looked up and saw Ana and he smiled.

"Anastasia." He drawled.

Ana stepped into the elevator. "I am surmising that you are here to see me."

"Who else? Hannah?" He replied. "I meant what I said. I will put it up for sale."

"Christian, it's your apartment not mine. If you want to keep it then keep it." She said closing her eyes trying to fight off a headache. "It makes no difference to me."

"I think it does. You hate it now." He accused.

"Yes, Christian I do hate Escala. Is that what you want to hear from me? I hate that fucking place where you killed our marriage and broke my heart." She yelled shocking the shit out of Christian with the anger that was still inside her. "Now, will you leave me alone?"

"Where are you going?"

"To see Laura, my shrink." She said to him. "I need to talk with her about all these feelings. I think we moved too fast once again."

"No, Ana. You can't let go of the pain that I caused you." He takes her into his arms. Their foreheads touch as he gently rubs her back to soothe her. "You haven't forgiven me."

"I know. I want to, but it hurts still. I see you and her in our playroom. I thought I was over it, but every time someone says Escala it comes racing back. I really do hate you."

"I know." Christian kissed her softly on her lips. "And, I deserve your hatred. You gave me everything and I took it for granted. I didn't know what I truly had until I lost you and the children." He looked down at her with her tear stained face. "I don't know what else to do to prove that I love you and that I will never hurt you again."

Ana nodded giving her understanding. "I think we should back off for awhile. Maybe it's just too soon."

"No, Ana. I can't live without you. I can do this. I know what I want and it's you. I want us. Don't you see that I am nothing without you? You are my reason for breathing."

The elevator door opens and Ana makes her escape. She was almost out the door when Christian caught her and turned her around to face him. "Stop running away, Ana. Running does not solve any problems."

Ana began to laugh in a hysterical way. "This from a man who ran off to China after fucking his ex-wife! You don't think I know why you ran off. I'm not stupid, Christian. You ran first. You just left without a word. Do you know how I felt to learn that you took off to China?" She pulled away from him and ran into the hard body of her Head of Security. She felt strong hands steady her. "Daniel, I need to get to Laura's ASAP."

"Of course, Mrs. Grey." Daniel said as he escorted from the building.

After an hour with Laura, Ana went home to the Ranch. She was silent as Daniel drove. This had been a shitty day. All she wanted to do was kiss her children, have a glass of wine, and take a long bubble bath. Daniel watched her as she sat in back of the SUV. This woman was an emotional wreck. Whatever Christian did to her was uncalled for. Daniel had half a mind to search out Christian Grey and give him the ass whooping he so deserved.

"You wanna talk?" Daniel asked looking at her thru the rear view mirror.

"Not particularly. I just had an hour of talking."

"Well, at least I am free." Daniel joked trying to get her to smile or smirk.

She snorted. "You are not free."

He shrugged. "Ok, say it's part of the services that you employ me for."

"Have you heard from Amelia?" The subject needed to be changed. Ana did not want to talk about Christian, Escala, their relationship, or the reason that she had to see Laura for an emergency session.

"She is settled in Dallas."

"You should go visit her. She could use your support." Ana says as the scenery goes by.

"I want to, but she refused. She says she doesn't want to see me." Daniel was frowning.

Ana could see the pain on Daniel's face. "Just go." She finally said. "The worst she can do is close the door in your face."

"That is what I am afraid of, Ana. I don't think I could handle that. I thought she was the one. I even had the ring bought."

"Damn."

"Yeah." He breathed. They were at the Ranch. The gate was opened and Daniel drove in silence up the drive to the front of the house. "Will you be going out this evening?"

"No, I am home for the night. Christian might be here for dinner with the children." She informed him as she climbed out of the car. She smiled up at him in thanks for opening the door for her. She touched his forearm. "I understand what you are going thru now. If you need someone to talk to…well, maybe I can return the favor of support. You helped me get through the divorce and to get my life back together."

"Thank you, Ana." He was so sober. "But, I will be alright. Amelia and I were not married."

"It still fucking hurts the same, Daniel." She sighed heavily. "And, sometimes that hurt stays for the longest time." With that said, Ana walked into her home and felt the hurt that was still inside her. She had tried everything to be rid of it. Therapies, exercise, work, drinking, and even having sex with the ex did not lessen the pain. She was still carrying around unresolved pain and anger. But, now the pain and anger had to take a back burner. She was at home and she needed to see her children. She dropped her purse and briefcase on the floor and went to the nursery to see Phoebe and to hold her close to her heart. This was the one place that not even that pain could get to Ana. This was her safe place!