Shadows Under the Oak Tree

(C) Intelligent Systems and Nintendo

-0-

36. Home
(Family matters. Circular lessons.)

There were no more letters.

Lily had expected this, of course, but it was still a shock to her when she realized that a week had passed without another bundle of pages marked front and back with her husband's angular, neat handwriting. If he were all right, she knew, he would write to her. It would be a priority to him, simply because he wouldn't be able to stand leaving her in perpetual worry. He was much too kind to do something like that, even with some of the things he had done because kindness wasn't his only trait.

She knew that, out of necessity, she had to put it aside and focus on her life. She had a village to take care of and a son to raise. She had wonderful friends to impose on to watch her son for her while she ran around doing chores, and she paid them back with extra bags of tea and a willingness to listen. She had too many things to do and not enough daylight and lantern oil in which to finish them, and it was in this manner that one week melted into two.

Hm. It's the same today. I can't feel his soul here.

She opened her eyes, taking in the view of the mountain before her. It had been too long since she had last climbed the mountain, but it was enough for her to stand at her parents' grave and commune with the spirits of Ilia. This place, moreso than in any other part of the village, was a place of love and respect. The spirits collected here, and while Lily's specialty was in the skillful use of her talent in anima, this was the best place to find out if her husband's soul had returned to his home. If it hadn't, she could still hold hope that he was still alive.

She tried not to remember that Iris' soul had never returned to Ilia; Iris had always been looking towards the borders that separated Ilia from the other countries, so why would she return?

But Canas has a home here. No matter what, he will definitely come back.

A sigh escaped from her parted lips as she closed her eyes.

And yet, we should've had longer. Even if I'm selfish, five years altogether isn't enough. I know that others have had less time to spend with their loved ones, but it's not enough. Not for everything we wanted to do for our country, not for our son, not for us...

I don't think a lifetime would be enough.

Opening her eyes, she bowed to the grave before her. "I'll visit again," she said, knowing all too well that the words were for her own benefit alone. She turned to leave, but then stopped as she saw Tinae carrying Hugh to where she stood. Worried, Lily hurried over to them. "Is something wrong?" she asked once she was within speaking distance.

"Eh, it's nothing big," Tinae started to say as Hugh wriggled in her arms. She offered him to Lily, and as soon as Lily took him, he clutched her and buried his face in the crook of her neck, all while whining, "Mama, Mama."

Lily raised an eyebrow at this behavior; Hugh was affectionate, but usually more independent than this, even at his young age. "When you say nothing big, what does that mean?" she asked Tinae.

The smaller woman shrugged. "He was just a little bullied. Elysia pushed him down a couple times, but he kept getting up and ignoring her, so she sat on him."

"She sat on him."

"She's a little temperamental."

"More like bad-tempered." Lily adjusted her hold on Hugh as they began walking back to the village. "But at least she's not biting people anymore."

Tinae laughed. "It's hard to imagine she came from Jorah and Mina, isn't it? Then again, she's healthy enough to be what her sister can't..." It surprised Lily when Tinae seemed to let the sentence trail off, instead of adding at least one completely uncalled-for comment or insult. And yet, it made perfect sense once Lily thought about it--

Pegasus knight

--and so she kept quiet.

"Do you think it's fair for a parent to choose which daughter to send up to Edessa?" Tinae wondered aloud moments later. "It's like condemning your child to death. But you wouldn't know, since all you have is a son."

Lily had to remember not to feel too insulted. "If Canas comes back, I wouldn't mind having another child," she said, thinking out loud. Tinae grinned at this, and Lily was quick to continue with, "As for your question, what else can we do? Rachel was always sickly when she was younger, while Elysia is healthier than most of the adults around here. If not, Rachel would have to leave this year." She glanced at Tinae, who was staring ahead with an odd look on her face. "Sami would be sad to see her go."

"Sami doesn't really remember Nikeah anymore." Tinae tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Isn't it sadder to see your sister leave than your friend?"

"Well, some of us are closer to our friends than our siblings," Lily reasoned.

"I guess you'd know."

Lily said nothing.

After a few steps, the sound of snow crunching beneath their feet only accentuating the uncomfortable quiet between the two friends, Tinae coughed. "Sorry. I've been having bad dreams lately and I just feel so...I don't know."

"Do you want to tell me?" Lily asked, her voice as soft as freshly falling snow. Hugh seemed to like this, because he snuggled against her even more.

"It's stupid, but I sometimes dream of fog surrounding some land in the middle of an ocean. Then, there's the sound of flying arrows." After a moment, Tinae continued with, "I don't know, but I keep waking up and crying."

A foggy island? Lily thought. That sounds familiar. Out loud, she said, "I understand that you're worried about Nikeah, especially now that she's in a wing. I'll write to General Cassandra, all right?"

Tinae smiled, but to Lily it seemed dull, a formality for a woman who didn't know the meaning of the word. "It's fine. Either way, I'll get a letter that you can read to me." She shook her head. "I've got to go. I'm helping Rian and Mynthia clean up their new house. It still has the fire burns from that invasion, but we'll get it cleaned up before the wedding."

Nodding, Lily waved. Hugh, who was naturally curious, noticed and began to mimic his mother, a trait that Lily still found endearing. "Sure. Let me know if you need any help!"

Strange, she thought after Tinae had run ahead. Even now we're reusing the houses where our neighbors and friends were killed. I understand that we need to use all we have, but it's amazing how things cycle. Humans are so good at moving on.

Would I be able to, if Canas is...gone? Out of necessity, I'm sure, but is there something even more final than that?

"Mama?" Hugh asked, pulling away from her to tug on a stray lock from her pinned-back hair. Lily smiled, a reflex.

"Before we have lunch, let's check on the roof. I'm afraid the rafters may be rotting in some areas," she suggested.

" 'Kay," Hugh said, then proceeded to ignore her in favor of her hair. Rolling her eyes, she continued to examine what she could see of her roof.

Ugh, I'm going to need to ask Gouterry to help me replace some of the roof. Wouldn't want the roof to cave in if we ever have blizzards like the ones last winter--

Hugh whined. It sounded like his 'put me down' whine, so she did just that while keeping her eyes fixed on any trouble spots she could see. It's worse than I imagined, she thought, this is going to be quite the trade. Five, six spots I can see from here. If Canas were here, this would be easier since he's taller.

She heard footsteps that weren't quite like her young son's own, but distracted as she was, she only said, "Hugh, please don't run away. I need to memorize the spots so that I can draw a picture for Gouterry."

"Mama," Hugh said, startling her because she hadn't realized how close he was to her. I thought he walked away? she wondered. The footsteps were louder now, and it sounded like two or three people--Tinae, Kelial, and someone else? "Look."

"I don't know, Hugh, I've seen your Auntie Tinae enough to know that she's not that interesting," she teased, more for the reaction from Tinae than anything else. It would at least allow her friend to forget her worries for a time. But when Tinae didn't instantly respond with an insult, or anything else, Lily grew concerned and turned around.

And stared.

She supposed it was her fault, she would later think, that she had never daydreamed about what she would do when she first saw Canas again. Reunions needed a certain amount of planning to be smoothly spontaneous. In the week after his last letter, she probably would've burst into tears if he had suddenly appeared, the emotions coiling within her having been almost impossible to hide at even the calmest of times. That would've been embarrassing for the both of them; Canas didn't handle tears well, and it was messy and awkward and she knew she would look back and think but I smiled as I watched him leave, but when he comes back I cry? What a way to send the wrong message.

It might not have been uncalled for her to run up to him and hug him, but one-two-three heartbeats later she realized she had been staring in surprise too long to make that look natural. And it had to be natural, because for some reason Canas had brought companions with him, a young girl and a man in indecent clothing, and now her surprise was beginning to give way to a happy, warm confusion.

That girl...

It was times like these that she appreciated Hugh's curiosity, because he toddled over to his father. "Papa?" he asked, and Lily was never happier that Kelial had drawn that picture for Hugh.

Canas, who had been staring at her with a look that she felt more or less mirrored her own joyful befuddlement--it was good to know that she wasn't the only one who had no idea how to react in a reunion scene--glanced down and smiled at their son. "Hello, Hugh," he said, crouching down to Hugh's level. Lily could only see her son's back from where she stood, so she didn't know why Canas lifted a hand to pat Hugh on the head but stopped. She took a few steps towards them, unsure of what Hugh was going to do. It would be really embarrassing for all of them if Hugh started crying.

Their son reached up with small hands and grabbed his father's much larger hand between his own. Lily still couldn't tell what Hugh's expression was, but after a moment of studying Canas' hand, whatever was on Hugh's face made Canas smile fondly in return. "Hi, Papa," Hugh said, the smile clear in his voice.

Lily didn't want to approach, didn't want to disrupt the scene in front of her. She only wanted to admire father and son, together again. Glancing at her husband's companions, she found her gaze drawn to the young girl again, which was strange when the man that hovered next to the girl was more...she wasn't sure there was a polite term. He had so much exposed skin, from the entirety of his arms to his bare stomach, that she predicted pneumonia in a week, if he was lucky. The tanned skin, spiky red hair, and interesting black drawings on the muscle just under the curve of his shoulders were just interesting little tidbits.

But the girl looked like Iris.

I should invite them in. That man might as well have a sign that says 'please give me frostbite.' "Welcome back, Canas," she said, then promptly felt like hitting herself for saying such a bland, impersonal greeting. He looked up at her, a hesitant smile on his face. Deciding to make it up to him later, she turned to the girl and the man and bowed. "Welcome. Please, why don't you come inside? You must be, um, cold," she said, trying not to stare at the strange man while she said that. It was just as well, considering that he was staring past her, or something. Meanwhile, the girl was staring right at her with what had to be one of the cutest smiles she had ever seen.

"Ah, forgive me, I've been remiss in my introductions," Canas said, standing up with Hugh in his arms. "Lily, this is Nino and Jaffar. Nino, Jaffar, this is my wife."

"Please call me Lily," she said with a smile, a large part of her wondering why the girl--Nino--all but sparkled in response. The strange man Jaffar was still not quite looking at her, something with which she could sympathize. After all, she wouldn't want to talk if she was cold. "Anyway, shall we go inside?"

"Er, actually...first, there is something you must see, just to satisfy our curiosity." For some reason, Canas seemed either excitable or nervous, or a combination of both. This made Lily wary. "Nino, if you could show my wife the contents of your locket?"

"Oh! Um..." Nino began searching the pouch that was strapped around her waist, a flutter of concentration on her face.

Lily watched as Jaffar pulled out something with a long gold chain from his pocket. "Nino," he said with almost no inflection in his tone; it sounded to Lily's ears as if there was no life there. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she wanted him in her house. But when Nino took the locket from him with a cheerful, "Thanks, Jaffar!" Lily couldn't help but notice the softening in his eyes as he nodded in acknowledgment.

When Nino turned to her, there was an odd brightness to the girl's already lively blue eyes. "Um, there's something...something I have to show you. It's a picture, a picture of my real family." Short nails scrabbled at the hinge of the locket instead of the indentation that was the locket's opening, and Lily, who now felt a looming sense of nervousness over her, placed her hands around Nino's.

"Your real family?" she asked, not daring to hope, not even letting herself think about the implications of that one utterance. She stroked the backs of Nino's small hands with her thumbs. "Here, let me do this." Lily could feel Nino's eyes on her as she examined the trinket. There were odd stains, brownish and patterned as if flecks of some liquid fell onto the tarnished gold. She couldn't delude herself; it was blood. Shrugging the thought aside, Lily edged her thumbnail within the indentation and pried the locket open.

It was an old, faded picture, all black lines. It reminded her of the picture Kelial drew of Canas, its detail exquisite in such a small size. There was a family, but Lily couldn't place any of the people in the picture.

"Oh..."

Save the woman who held a baby in her arms.

There were words carved into the opposite side of the interior of the locket, but she didn't need to read them to know her name.

"Iris..."

It couldn't be. Lily had believed that she was the last of her family for such a long time, that she was all that was left of what was a proud line of anima users dating back from The Scouring itself. Unless Hugh took up anima, or perhaps a future child of hers, she was it.

The letter sent by the maid said that everyone had been murdered. And yet, all Lily had to do was to look down, past her hands, to see a girl with hair as bright as summer grass and bright blue eyes.

Just like her own sister.

"You...you said my mother's name," Nino said, her eyes blurry with tears. Or was that Lily's own? "Then it's like what Ca--Uncle Canas said. You're my aunt."

By all the spirits, the tears were her own. Lily wiped them away with the back of her bandaged hand even as she grinned. "Yes," she managed out, giving up on her eyes to embrace the girl in front of her. Nino hugged her back so tightly that it hurt, but Lily wouldn't give up that feeling for anything.

Who would've thought that I would not only get my husband back, but a niece as well?

-0-

What a pleasant feeling it is to be home.

While everyone else went to bed, Canas sat in his favorite place and, with the aid of a lantern, read a tome on the properties and ethics of magical experimentation. The lingering aroma of the delicious, filling dinner, the first he had had since departing from Ostia in the midst of the celebrations, only heightened his contentment. And the atmosphere of the dinner itself, with Lily and Nino conversing quite animatedly with each other and on occasion including himself and Jaffar into the discussion, was really very wonderful. But even before dinner, friends and neighbors had been visiting in a steady stream all day, most of them congratulating him on returning home (though it seemed no one knew of the specifics besides the fact that he had joined an army) and talking to Nino. Most of the children who had arrived with their parents tended to spend their time staring at Jaffar until he happened to glance in their direction; then they would hide behind their parents. Some children made it into a game of sorts, and Canas was unable to deduce exactly, or even approximately, how Jaffar felt about this.

It had been quite a busy day, and therefore he had been unable to spare more than a few pleasantries' time with Lily, though he was unsure if she was being standoffish on top of being inordinately busy preparing the more domestic arrangements. He was not necessarily bothered, only surprised.

But it is really quite all right, he thought as he turned the page. After all, little Nino's appearance would be much more overwhelming than my own. It would be no more different if it were Lord Pent.

There was something off on his reasoning, he knew that much, but, unable to form the proper argument, he simply mentally shrugged and went back to the fascinating world of magical ethics.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

He glanced up from the tome; at the entrance of the hallway that led to the inner rooms stood Lily, who appeared to be holding a bundle of something in her arms. "No, not at all," he said with a smile. As she approached, he realized that the bundle in question appeared to be a pelt of fur.

The light of the lantern illuminated the smile on her face. "I thought you might like some company. We haven't had the chance to talk very much today, and since Hugh is sleeping well, well..." She giggled, the sound light and airy. "May I?"

"Certainly," he said, moving aside so that she could sit down beside him. She did so, her leg pressed against his, before spreading the pelt across their laps. Out of politeness--and the fact that the tome was not that interesting, not compared to his wife--he set the tome aside before focusing his attention on her.

He had thought of her throughout his journey; in fact, one could say she had been like a constant presence, a voice of reason in unreasonable times. Whenever he had considered something that was at least somewhat questionable, he could imagine her chiding him for even thinking about it. It occurred most during certain situations, such as foraging for food ("If it looks poisonous, you shouldn't even nibble at it. No, really.") and general health ("You have to wait until your clothes dry before putting them on. Do you really want to catch a cold, especially after finishing off the medicinal tea just because you wanted to enjoy your new tome on a cold night?"). It was also more appreciated than his mother's lessons ringing in his ear during the heat of battle, for many obvious reasons.

However, it was after he decided to follow Lord Eliwood when he began to realize just how well Lily's practical nature lent itself to the moral quandaries that lay before him. He had never enjoyed battle, never found solace in his own ability to wield elder magic. But to think of it in a logical manner, he needed to survive. He could not protect the friends he had made if he thought about the situation at hand too much, and he would not be able to see his family if he simply let himself become swept away by the dark energies locked inside the elder magic tomes or himself. On the battlefield, there was no time allotted for discourse, only for action. And off the battlefield, he observed the others as they made friends, strengthened bonds, and found love, and he realized a very simple, very fundamental need.

Everyone needed somewhere, or someone, to belong.

And so, having already known where his home was, he fought so that he could return. Because of this, he had never considered himself a hero. His actions in Valor helped save the continent, but all he could think about was protecting his family; his quest for knowledge had led him home.

"You didn't write," she said, her tone fairly chastising. He stared at her profile, disbelieving what he had just heard.

"You didn't receive any of my letters?"

She glanced at him. "I must have missed the one that said that you were still alive after your strange battle, and that you were bringing guests."

"Ah...yes, well..." He blushed. After the final battle, the last week and a half had been little more than a blur. There were many celebrations, first in Pherae, then in Caelin, and he personally still had a bit of a headache from Ostia, which he supposed he could consider as a sort of going-away gift. "That is to say...it was quite hectic." It was a poor defense, he could see that in her arched eyebrows and pursed lips, but she only shook her head and looked away from him. "But we were able to arrive far ahead of schedule, due to the fact that the pegasus knights of our group were also heading to Ilia."

"...I was beginning to think you were dead. I was already settling into the mindset of a lifelong widow, all because you were too busy enjoying your parties to send a letter." She sounded more exasperated than anything else, and he nervously chuckled when she glared at him. "Canas, if you can't be more responsible, what makes you think I'll let you go next time?"

My, she certainly sounds more motherly than before, he thought but was not suicidal enough to say. Instead, he nodded in an agreeable manner. "I don't intend to leave," he stated.

An odd look crossed her face. "Oh?"

"Er..." he started, unsure of how to interpret a single utterance, "I...unless you would like me to?"

"You'll have to fight me first before I let you leave."

"Mm, I see. I suppose I should stay, then."

There was a moment of silence before they both began to laugh quietly. The lantern flame flickered, and Canas realized it was low on fluid. Before he could make a suggestion or rise to retrieve some more, Lily leaned against his arm. "You've changed, I can tell. I guess it was good for you to go, wasn't it?"

"I suppose," he commented, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "It had its merits, as well as its downsides. Yet, I would admit that it was a necessary experience."

"I could tell just by your letters," she said, and as she smiled the light played upon her face as the flame of the lantern flickered again. "I don't really understand what had happened, but I'm really proud of you, Canas."

Suddenly, like a kick to the abdomen, he felt regretful. "I should have written more of them. Or, at least, I should have been less secretive, instead of burdening you with everything in my last letter." Even as he said this, he wondered if he would have done so, given another chance. There had been many terrible events he had viewed, and something inside of him had wanted to spare his wife from learning of such depressing, as well as increasingly common, incidents

He watched Lily as she reached up, towards the hand he had on her shoulder, and placed her own hand over his. "Don't look like that. I'd rather have you here than all those words. After all," she said as she looked away from him, her profile even more evident by the dimming glow of the lantern, "sometimes the words just get in the way."

The reference was obvious. "Lily, about that--"

"After Nino leaves, we'll talk about it. Hugh, and..." She shook her head. "We'll talk about all that later. But right now, I just want to enjoy the moment."

He smiled, relieved; he could certainly agree with her logic. "As you like. In the meanwhile, although you seem to feel otherwise, I could recount some of the more interesting events that had occurred during our more relaxed periods. Perhaps something about Lord Pent?"

The sound of Lily's soft laughter was lovely in the darkening room. "Oh, Canas, that's so sweet of you. But I'd rather not talk about Lord Pent tonight...some other time, for sure. But right now, I'd just like to sit here with you."

"Oh," he said, pleasantly surprised. "Well. All right, Lily."

They sat together even as the lantern light finally flickered out and surrendered to the darkness of the night, but Canas was unable to find it in himself to find some more lantern oil, or to even move. Even surrounded by the darkness, what he knew was that Lily was beside him once again after almost half a year apart, and that made everything all right. He knew that there were still issues they had to work through, and doubtless they would continue to have their disagreements.

But here, now, all Canas cared to think about was that he was finally home.

-to be continued-

Haa...well, all that's left is the epilogue. As I have a tradition of not writing notes of any kind in epilogues, I'll put my final comments here.

First of all, the chapter-specific things. This final chapter presumes that the following support levels were reached: Canas/Nino A, Nino/Jaffar B, and Jaffar/Legault A. And considering last chapter, Canas/Pent B. If you don't feel like looking up the Support FAQ or the game, this roughly means:

-Canas and Nino were able to discover the possibility that Nino's mother is Lily's sister. Although they don't have an ending (I'll go into why a little later), it'd make sense that they'd find out if it's a matter of coincidence or not.

-Nino and Jaffar had their 'best friend' talk, where Nino gives him her locket...um, just suppose that it happens after Canas/Nino A.

-Jaffar and Legault had their talk where Jaffar declares that he intends to live with Nino, which means that he's going to follow her even up to Ilia.

Unfortunately, the artbook makes it clear that Canas and Nino have no actual connection, meaning that it is a matter of coincidence. However, since I'd started that plot thread in chapter one, I had a vested interest in maintaining it. Of course, I got the artbook shortly afterward, but whatever. If you care about other canon connections, you can check out the homepage link in my profile; I translated the character map for FE7 and put it up there.

So. A year and a half ago, when I first started this somewhat-biweekly serial, I stated that this wasn't a love story. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe it's a love story where love isn't an explicit confession, but rather something that has to be grown into. Perhaps it's just a story about two people who could be fine by themselves but give each other the inspiration to change themselves and, in some ways, the world around them. Or it's about the changing conditionals of relationships. But probably it's a fanfic about a character that most people seem to really like using in-game but regulate to bit parts (and give him a book to keep him occupied) in fic because, well, that's what the game more or less gives us. I don't know, and it probably doesn't matter.

What--or should I say who--does matter are all the people who have read and reviewed, or simply read (hopefully if you've reviewed you actually bothered to read what you were reviewing). I was floored from the very beginning, and I'm incredibly honored that even one person would click on this story. It's even more of an honor that many of you have given me your encouragement, your honest opinions, and a lot of great advice. I'd especially like to thank Gunlord500 in this regard, as it's thanks to him that I can go back and edit past chapters even further, making the second read-through even better than the first!

Finally, I'd like to thank myself, since, wow, a year and a half of somewhat regular updates. No, I'm kidding!

Thank you for reading, thank you for all of your help, and the epilogue will definitely be up on Thursday, April 12th!