Author's Note: Hey all. Long time, no see. Anyway, I have returned with a brand spanking new chapter. I'm not very happy with this, but I really wanted to get this out there because it's been so long. Like I said before, this will be the only chapter that takes place in the hospital. There isn't any Naley in, and I'm sorry about that, but I needed to get some time to the other upcoming storylines, you know. Hope you understand. Please tell me what you think, you guys don't understand how much I love the reviews. Enjoy.
As usual, I was much too tired to proof read this, so if there are any mistakes, please just ignore them. Thanks.
--OTH--
-- Between sisters, often, the child's cry never dies down. "Never leave me," it says; "do not abandon me." --
Haley's eyes wander the ceiling, silently counting the tiles for what felt like, and could quite actually be, the hundredth time. It wasn't like there was anything else for her to do. She frowned when she felt her side starting to seize up and tried to position herself into a better position. Not a good idea.
"Shit," she hissed under her breath when she felt every cut on her back scream at her for moving. She snapped her eyes shut and waited for all of the pain to subside. She still couldn't believe that her back was still littered with cuts; she thought that would be healed by now. Stupid ass doctor doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
After a moment, the burning sensation started slowing, and she let out a sigh and opened her eyes again. She tried to remember where she had left off on the ceiling and grumbled when she couldn't recall. Rolling her eyes, she started again.
"Haley Bear," she heard the annoying voice call from the doorway. Letting out inaudible groan, Haley clenched her teeth and balled up her fists as best she could. "I thought you'd be in here."
"It's my first day of physical therapy, Brooke" Haley reminded her sister in a frustrated tone. She loved Brooke, she did, and she also knew that Brooke was just trying to be there for her, but for some reason, Brooke was getting on her last nerve lately, and she didn't know why. "Where else would I be?"
"When you weren't in your room I thought you might have escaped," Brooke teased her fakely, hoping to get more out of her than her usual monotone answer. She knew that Haley was upset and trying to block out the world, and more specifically her, at the moment, but that didn't mean that Brooke was just going to let her.
"I'm confined to a wheelchair, Tigger," Haley answered her, curing herself silently for using the endearment. She almost snarled when she saw the smile come to her sister's face at the name. "How exactly do you expect me to escape?"
"I don't know," she shrugged, not too worried about it. She plopped herself down onto the blue mat beside her sister and stared down at Haley as she lay their on her back, completely ignoring her now and counting the tiles again. Rolling her eyes at the snub, Brooke spun around on her butt so she was facing the same direction as Haley and lay down so she was parallel to her sister. "You'd find a way, you always do."
"Like I did last week?" Haley asked bitterly, but regretted it the moment it was out of her mouth. She hadn't wanted to talk about what happened with her father with anyone, not even Brooke, and up until now, she hadn't really mentioned it.
"Baby," Brooke tried, blindly reaching over and grabbing a gentle hold on Haley's uncased hand. She was surprised when Haley didn't flinch and pull it away like she had done every other time Brooke attempted to make contact with her. That was the most she was going to get though, because it didn't look like Haley was going to talk.
"This is stupid," Haley exclaimed in a bored tone, but she didn't break their linked hands or her gaze at the tiles. After giving Brooke a moment to get over the rapid subject change, Haley rolled her head to the side to look at Brooke. "When's this Greg guy getting here?"
"I don't know," Brooke sighed, frustrated with Haley's refusal to talk about what happened. The morning that Haley woke up, she had been trying to prepare herself for Haley's initial reaction. She had expected Haley to cry, to wail, to scream, and break, but instead she just sat there silently for most of the day, letting the doctors do what they needed and telling the police officers everything that she remembered from the night before. Brooke couldn't believe how calm Haley was trying to be about everything.
"I don't even know why I have to be here," she continued to complain. She really wished that she could walk because she was so sick of lying there. The nurse had brought her in about half an hour ago while Brooke went home to shower and change, something she did every other day. As much as the doctors, Lucas and even Haley had begged her to just go home and sleep, she refused to leave the hospital until Haley was ready to go home.
"Because if you ever want to get out of that wheelchair," Brooke began. "You're gonna have to start getting that knee fixed." To make her point, she nudged Haley's knee lightly with her own, but made sure it didn't hurt her. If Haley was going to pretend that everything was okay, she could do.
"I like my wheelchair," Haley pouted, glad that Brooke seemed to be dropping the subject. It was moment like this, just lying there with her sister, when she wasn't grilling her on how she's feeling, that Haley enjoyed. It was moments like that that made Haley feel a little bit more confident that things might just turn out okay. "You can push me around in it for the rest of my life. I don't see the downside there."
"You're ass is already fat enough," Brooke teased in a light tone, which got a slight laugh from Haley for which she was grateful for. "The last thing you need is to be pushed around from now on."
"It could be cool," Haley mused, trying to think of what live would be like being pushed around all the time. It didn't seem so bad. Then again, she was almost positive that she would get sick of it soon enough. She was never one to let others do things for her, she liked to be in control of situations. "I'd be stuck with you for the rest of my life."
"Is that a pro or a con?" Haley thought about it for a moment. Was Brooke really that bad? Well, no of course she wasn't. Brooke had been there for Haley for her entire life. Yes, she was grating on her last nerve at the moment, but Haley knew that was more her deal, than Brooke's. She turned her head to look at Brooke for a moment and squeezed her hand lightly.
"It's a pro," she told her with the smallest of smiles. It may have been a small gesture, but Brooke was more than willing to take it. Haley had been pushing her further and further away since they'd been there, and she didn't know how much more she could take before she snapped. If Haley was willing to give her that little bit of hope that maybe they could go back to normal one day, she would take it.
The moment was short lived however, when the two heard a loud bang from the door. Brooke felt Haley tense beside her, probably fearing that it was their father, who was still at the hospital until he recovers fully enough to be arrested. She squeezed Haley's hand in reassurance, and pushed herself up and into a sitting position. Even though she knew it couldn't possibly be her father, she still felt the relief wash over her when she saw it wasn't.
"Uh, hey," she greeted nervously, looking the extremely cute guy up and down. She wasn't sure if he was the physical therapist or someone else here for work. He flashed her a bright smile and dropped his gym bag on the floor by the door.
"Hey, girls," he greeted in an overly happy tone and a blinding smile. Brooke closed her eyes for a brief second, imagining how annoying this guy was going to be for the next couple of weeks. Haley wasn't going to enjoy him in the least, at least not with her current sour mood. "I'm Greg."
"Finally," Haley moaned, not looking his way. She was still on her back, staring at the ceiling, but she could swear that she could see his smile and it was already pissing her off. She was in a bad mood, had been for the past week, the last thing she needed was for Brooke to have a partner in her fake happy teasing. "It's about damn time."
"You must be Haley," he observed with another smile. Haley rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see her, and nudged Brooke with her elbow. Without a word between them, Brooke reached over and helped Haley into a sitting position so she could see the new annoyance. Haley was surprised that he was so good looking. Maybe he wasn't that annoying.
"I'm the black and blue one," she answered, flashing him a tight smile. "So, yep, that's me."
"Okay, That's So Raven," Brooke teased her, grinning bigger when Haley sent a death glare her way. She winked at Haley, trying to defuse the situation, and turned her attention back to Greg. "Yeah, she's the patient."
"And you are?" He took off his jacket, dropped it on top of his bag and moved towards the girls. He kneeled down so he was at eye level with them and not looming over them.
"Oh, I'm Brooke," she answered, not believing that she had forgotten to introduce herself to him. She stuck out her hand and he gladly shook it. "I'm Haley's sister…"
"Yes, I heard all about you from the nurses," he informed her, tilting his head to the side as if to examine her. They weren't what he had expected, they were a lot smaller and prettier than he had pictured. "You've been giving them a hard time."
"I try," she replied with a firm nod of her head. All week she had been on top of everything, always making sure that Haley was getting the best care possible and that they were doing everything they could to make her comfortable. "Only the best for my Hales."
"Can we just start this thing now?" Haley snipped in an impatient voice. Yes, he was cute, yes he was nice, but Brooke was taken and she wasn't interested, so there was really no point in sitting there and flirting with each other. "I'd like to be able to know how to walk again by the time it's time to graduate from college."
"I thought you wanted me to push you around in a wheelchair for the rest of your life," Brooke teased. Greg might be taken aback by her attitude, but Brooke was more than used to it, and she knew better than anyone that it was just an act. When Haley was really bad about something, she liked to close herself off from people, she wouldn't talk to them, she would look at them, sometimes not even Brooke could get through, but she had her moments, and Brooke made sure to act on them. If she was ever going to get through to Haley, to break through that huge wall that she had put up, she wouldn't be able to break her.
"I forgot how annoying you are," Haley answered back immediately, not looking Brooke in the face. She heard Brooke chuckle lightly beside her and she glanced up to see if she had offended Greg by her interruption. He still had that silly ass smile on his face and Haley wanted more than anything to smack it off his face.
What the hell was he always smiling for? She hated people that smiled all the time. She never used to hate them; hell she used to be one of those people, her and Brooke both. Now, it almost physically hurt for her to smile. She didn't know about Brooke, but after everything that she lived through the last couple of years, she couldn't imagine what so many people had to smile about. With all the crap that went on in the world, all the kids that went through what she went through, how dare people smile?
Haley was about to call him on it, when she stopped to think. She took a moment to look into his eyes, and she could see that his smile didn't exactly reach them. Yes, he was happy, it was hard to fake a smile that big, but there was also something about him, maybe a bad home life, or a terrible accident, a lost dream, she didn't know, but there was this sadness in them that she couldn't quite place.
She got the feeling that he wasn't hiding behind his smile, he wasn't just putting it on for show, it was natural. It wasn't like when she smiled, she smiled to mask her pain, to convince Brooke and Nathan and Carol and Taylor and anyone who asked that she was okay. No, he really was okay. Even though there was obviously something wrong in his life, he still somehow managed to smile.
And that both gave her hope and pissed her off.
"Well," he clapped, breaking his eye contact with Haley. He could see that she was trying to figure him out, and he didn't think it would hurt to let her. Haley immediately looked away when he spoke and Brooke watched them in confusion, trying to figure out what had just happened. Greg sent Brooke a reassuring smile and winked at her, before pushing himself up and into a standing position. "Everyone ready?"
"Yeah," Haley mumbled, shrugging her shoulders and looking at Brooke to tell her what she should be doing.
"Oh, this is exciting," Brooke cheered, wrapping her arms around Haley and giving her shoulders a squeeze. "It's your first session, baby! Isn't this exciting?"
"Yeah," Haley mumbled, rolling her eyes, and trying to push Brooke off of her side. "Real exciting." Brooke chuckled again, shaking her head and looked up at Greg.
"She's excited," she told him with a knowing smile. She didn't know what to do. Haley was trying to push her away, to act like everything was no big deal, like it didn't bother her, but Brooke didn't buy it for a second, no one could. She honestly didn't know what was worse; Haley shutting down like this, pretending that nothing was wrong or Haley breaking down and sobbing about what had happened. Either way, Brooke was at a lose. "So, do I stay? Go? Will she need any help or anything?"
"You can stay and watch if you want," he answered, moving towards the front of the room to get everything set up. "There isn't anything you can do really, besides be there for moral support and what not." He grabbed a couple of mats off the wall and dropped them to the floor so they could sit on them. He knelt down to set them up, glancing over at the girls where they sat. "It's up to Haley, I guess."
"What do you say, baby?" Brooke asked, leaning away from her sister for her answer. She wasn't sure what the answer was going to be. She had a feeling that Haley really did want her there, deep down, but she doubted that her sister was going to admit it. "Do you want me to stick around?"
"Not really," she answered in a small voice. She was torn. Of course she wanted Brooke there. There wasn't a part of her that wasn't terrified at the thought of being left alone in a room with some guy that she didn't know for an hour, but on the other hand, she didn't want to look weak in front of Brooke. She knew that Brooke probably wanted to stay, but Haley was afraid of what she would think. Brooke was already so damn overprotective of her, when she saw just how immobile she was, how useless and handicapped she had become, she was afraid of what Brooke would think of her.
"You sure?" She should have known. A part of her wanted to stick around anyway, but she decided it would be best to just listen to her sister. It killed her to leave her alone, she really did want to be by her side every minute of every day, but if Haley wanted her to leave, then she would.
"Yeah," Haley nodded, smiling slightly at Brooke. She was surprised that Brooke was giving in so easily to this. She had expected an argument; she had expected Brooke to demand that she stay, no matter what the hell she had to say about it. But Brooke following her wishes? That was new. "Just wait outside or something. I'll be fine."
"Okay," Brooke relented, giving Haley's shoulders another squeeze and dropping a quick kiss on her temple. It took everything in Haley not to breakdown and cling to Brooke at moments like this, moments when Brooke was just too good to her. She felt so bad that she was pushing Brooke away, but she couldn't help. She couldn't face what had happened, she just couldn't. If she thought about it, that was it, she was gone. She couldn't think about her father, she wouldn't. "I'll be around. I'll be back here in an hour to get you, kay?"
"Okay," Haley whispered, not trusting her voice. Brooke let out a sigh, losing all hope that she was going to be able to get through to Haley right now.
"I love you, baby." Dropping one more kiss on the top of Haley's head, she stood up and with a small wave in Greg's direction, she moved towards the door. Haley watched her leave, instantly regretting her choice the moment the door closed.
What had she been thinking? Letting Brooke leave her alone with the smile clown? She must have had a moment of temporary insanity to let Brooke go like that. She could feel the walls closing in on her and she could feel her father's hands all over her; crushing her throat, twisting her arm, grabbing her breast.
She tried desperately to shake the feelings, to remind herself that her father wasn't there, that it was over. Her father was lying in a hospital bed with armed policemen guarding his door. She was safe, from him at least. But what about everyone else? What about the doctors that can come into her room at anytime a day and do anything to her because they say it's procedure? What about Greg, who she was currently alone in a room with? What's to stop him from grabbing her and having his way with her? Brooke certainly wasn't there to protect her.
"Haley?" Greg's questioning voice broke through her thoughts, causing her to jump in surprise. She gulped, swallowing past the lump in her throat and turned to look in his direction, afraid of what she might see. He was kneeling on a mat, with different things all around him, and he had that smile on his face. "Are you okay?"
She most certainly was not.
-- The theme of satsangh: that there is Salvation in numbers.--
The moment Brooke was out of the room, Brooke let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding and rested against the wall, trying to calm herself. She couldn't believe that she had actually left Haley alone like that, no matter what Haley had told her. Haley wasn't ready to be left alone with a stranger, especially a make stranger.
Could she be any more stupid? Haley didn't know it, but Brooke say how she tensed up the minute someone walked into her room, she tried to play it off, but it was so obvious that she was uncomfortable around those people. Even when Carol would stop by, Haley changed into a different mind frame.
She acted different around other people, no matter who they were, than the way she acted when she was alone with Brooke. When there were other people in the room, Haley had a smile on her face, nothing too big, but it was there. Brooke wasn't sure why, maybe it was a defensive kind of thing, something to protect her from their questions, but it was there.
With Brooke, she was blank. She didn't fake anything, she didn't smile or laugh, she hardly even talked, only when she was talked to. She didn't cry or anything, but she didn't smile, she was just blank, void almost. There were moments, little ones when Brooke could see the earth shattering pain in her eyes, when she would mention what happened, but those moments left as fast as they came.
Brooke wasn't sure if it was a good sign that Haley was like that with her, or if it would be better for her if Haley tried to feed her fake smiles. She guessed it was good that Haley felt she could be herself around Brooke, that she didn't have to fake like she was okay, but Brooke could clearly see that she was still hiding the way she really felt.
Her whole robotic thing was just an act. There was no way that Haley was really that unresponsive, that she didn't want to break down and cry all the time, so it seemed that Haley obviously wasn't that comfortable around her, she was just more comfortable around her than anyone else. But Brooke took some comfort in the knowledge that when Haley finally did break down, she would be right there with her.
Letting out another breath and running a shaky hand through her hair, Brooke had to fight every bone in her body to go sit in a chair instead of going back into that room. Haley wanted to do this alone; she was going to let her. Pushing herself off the wall, she shuffled her feet over to the hard chair a few feet away and plopped herself down in it.
The hallway was almost completely empty at 8 in the morning, so she wouldn't feel weird if she ended up in tears. Closing her eyes to try to stop them, she leaned forward, putting all her weight on her knees and she buried her face in her hands, trying to remember how all of this happened, and hoping to find a why to fix it.
"You okay?" came a voice from her right. She didn't need to look up to know that it was Taylor and she didn't need to say anything to know that Taylor was going to sit down next to her whether she got an invitation or not.
"I'm fine," she sighed, staying in her position a moment longer before pushing off her knees and leaning back against the chair. She didn't look at her sister though, she just continued to stare straight ahead. After a moment, she glanced sideways at Taylor, trying to figure out what she was thinking.
"You don't look fine," Taylor pointed out, hoping that she wouldn't get Brooke mad at her already. That was the last thing that she needed.
"Well, I am," Brooke snapped, tired of the blonde already. She knew that she was never going to be able to tolerate her sister. She was willing to try, but she doubted she was going to be successful.
"Geez, sorry," Taylor mumbled, holding her hands up in defense. "Take a pill."
"What are you doing here, anyway?" Brooke asked, trying to chance the subject. The last thing she wanted to talk about was how she was doing because she was doing horrible. She honestly didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to hold herself together. She could feel herself breaking and being shut out by Haley was slowing starting to kill her.
"I was looking for you actually," Taylor relieved, dropping her purse to the floor in front of her. She had been trying to come all week, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She had stayed for the whole day after Haley woke up, but she had never gone in to see her. She just couldn't do it. Finally, after being pushed by Carol for a week, she decided to just bite the bullet and go. "I went up to Haley's room, but the nurse said that you guys were down here."
"Hales has to do some therapy for her knee," Brooke explained, not knowing what else to say. She had been wondering where their oldest sister had been for the past week, but she wasn't going to hold it against her. The only person that had actually stopped by was Carol, but Haley didn't want to see her. The only people other than Brooke that she was up to seeing were the hospital staff, and that was only because she had to. She just wasn't ready to look weak in front of other people, the people that mattered. People like Nathan. "Try to get it stronger, you know? So when it's healed, she might be strong enough for crutches instead of that damn wheelchair."
"Aw, she's in a wheelchair?" Taylor asked, wincing internally at the picture of her little sister being wheel around in one of those damn things. She must look so small and tiny, and helpless. "Did you let her pop a wheelie?"
"Believe me, she tried," Brooke retold, smile at the goofy memory. The first day the doctor took her off her IV, he let Brooke take her out of the room, give her some new scenery. Of course, knowing Haley, Brooke knew that that was going to be the first thing that Haley asked. "But of course I sad no."
"You were always a party pooper," Taylor teased, knowing that statement couldn't be further from the truth. Out of the two of them, it was pretty safe to say that Brooke was usually the one trying to get Haley to do crazier things. Brooke tried her best to smile at her, thankful for the effort at least.
"So, what are you here for again?" Brooke inquired, remembering her question that Taylor had tried to dodge. She shifted in her seat, so she was in a better position to listen to whatever the blonde had to say. Taylor looked at her in confusion for a moment, trying to catch up with the quick subject change. "You said you were looking for us…"
"Oh, right," Taylor nodded, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. She took a deep breath and tried to remember what she had practiced for this moment. She really wasn't sure what Brooke's reaction was going to be. "Okay, Brookie, there's something I really need to talk to you about."
"Oh, man," Brooke sighed, running an exhausted hand through her hair. She could already feel her muscles tighten in her stomach. "I'm really starting to hate sentences like that. It's never anything good." Bringing her shaky hands down to her lap, she clenched them and tried to slow her mind down. "What happened now?"
"No, no, it's not that," Taylor assured her. She should have thought that through a bit more. Of course Brooke was going to jump to the wrong conclusions. After everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks, Taylor certainly couldn't blame her. "It's nothing bad, really. Well, depending on how you look at it, I guess. I'm kinda hoping you don't see it as bad…"
"Tay, would you just spit it out," Brooke snapped, hoping to hurry this conversation up a little bit. The last thing she needed was for Taylor to drag it out with her meaningless babble. "I swear, you're worse than Haley sometimes."
"I am not!" she immediately defended. She was about to start going off on a rant about how she doesn't rant, when she saw the look Brooke was giving her. Right, she was supposed to be telling her the great news. "Okay, last week, you know, that night we all fell asleep in Hay's bed?" Brooke nodded, of course she remembered. "Anyway, when I woke up, I went out and was talking to Carol in the waiting room. She told me, well asked me, something pretty big and after thinking about it all week at Dad's house, I figured I should probably ask what you think about the whole thing."
"Then just ask me please, before I die from the suspense," Brooke begged her dryly. She really hated when people did things like this. If there was something bad that she needed to know, she would much rather just know it and start trying to deal with it right away. She didn't need someone to hold her hand through it. She made it through everything else on her own, why stop now?
"So it turns out," Taylor immediately started, not wanting to receive the wrath of Brooke at the moment, that was the last thing she needed. "Carol doesn't thing that either dad or your mom are suitable enough parents to have custody or you."
"Well," Brooke mused, acting as if this new information was a surprise. "Haley and me could have told you that years ago. Where are you going with this?"
"She suggested that I fight for custody of you guys. She said she'd help me find a nice apartment or something in Tree Hill and I could have you and Hay move in with me," Taylor answered in a rush, just wanting to get it over with and have Brooke laugh in her face.
"Whoa," Brooke breathed, taking in all the information. After it registered, she blinked a few times in surprised and let out a puff of air. "That's a lot to think about."
"I know," Taylor assured her, not wanting to overwhelm the already smothered girl. "At first I didn't think it was a good idea at all, but after thinking about it all week, I realized how awesome it could be. I know you're not my biggest fan, and you'll probably think I'm crazy for saying it, but I really do love you and Hay, more than anything, and I would love to be able to see you two brats everyday."
"That is, wow," Brooke breathed. Living with Taylor? She wasn't sure that was the best idea, but really, it seemed like the only one. Besides, Taylor wasn't that bad, really. "Not only living with Haley again, but all three of us living together, on our own. In Tree Hill."
"I want to do this, Brookie," Taylor told her softly, getting Brooke's attention and bringing her gaze back to her. "I know that I haven't always been there for you guys in the past, which is really the understatement of the century, but I really want to do this for you two. I think it's safe to say that this family is completely screwed up, but the one thing that's never been screwed up is you, Haley and I. The three of us were a family before and I want us to be a family again."
"I want that too," Brooke whispered, not knowing what to say to Taylor's words. Yes, she knew that her big sister could have her moments, but that was something really sweet coming from Taylor. All that she's wanted for the past two years was to be with Haley and be a family again. Despite herself, she let out a small laugh. "God, you have no idea how much I want that too."
"Then, that's a yes?" Taylor asked, barely able to contain her excitement. The more she thought about living with her two baby sisters for the past week, the more she fell in love with the idea. Nothing would make her happier. Brooke gave her a watery smile, not being able to find words, and nodded. Taylor let out a squeal of excitement and pulling Brooke into a bone crushing hug. "Dude, this is going to be awesome!" Brooke laughed and pulled back from the hug.
"The yes is from me," Brooke reminded her. "You still have to ask Haley."
"Please, like she'll say no," Taylor scoffed, pushing it aside with a wave of her hand. "If you'll be there, she will be, too. She might come reluctantly, but she'll come, none the less."
"She will, will she?" Brooke chuckled, finding it kind of cute that Taylor is so sure of herself. Taylor nodded and smiled widely at her, giving her a wink.
"Wow, I can't believe this," Taylor sighed; letting the good feelings wash over her for a second before it disappeared. Did you ever think all those years ago when we would get into screaming matches that we'd end up here?"
Brooke felt all the excitement leave her body at the question. She looked around the hospital hallway, noticing her sister's wheelchair sitting against the wall across from her. She thought about the conversation she had just had with Haley, she thought about the way Haley lying bruised and beaten in her hospital, the way she felt everything in her entire body seize up when she saw Haley lying lifelessly on the grass. She remembered all the hysterical phone calls that she got in the middle of the night for the past two years.
"No," she whispered, her eyes glued to her lap, as she nervously played with the hospital bracelet she wore that indicated that she was just a visitor. Choking back a sob, she glanced back over at her big sister, who was looking at her with sad eyes. "I never thought we'd up here."
--OTH--
I had planned on having a Nathan scene at the end, but it was already long enough, and I just couldn't write anymore, so I hope you will all forgive me. I promise to have lots of Nathan in the next chapter, and maybe even some Naley interaction, if you guys are good.
Review, review, review!