I have failed! Ever since I started this story I've been trying to finish it by August 2013 and now it looks like I'm going to be heading into September. Which isn't bad for a two year guess in advance, but I'm taking it very personally.

This chapter contains a serious smut warning. No really. If you object to sodomy, please don't read it. As a lesbian it wasn't entirely enjoyable to write it...
...oh and please don't hate me too much by the end.

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GPOV

And the collision of your kiss, that made it so hard...

I didn't know this was going to happen.

I had been theorising about telling Frank the truth about my feelings for weeks, but suddenly I felt as though the rug had been pulled out from under my feet. I hadn't needed to tell Frank anything - he already knew more from one look than anything I could tell him in any amount of words.

He had just...just kissed me.

Frank's lips were soft and dry. I could even feel the chapped places from where he chewed on them when he was nervous. As his lips pressed against mine, they were initially delicate and cautious, tentative pressure. He pulled back, uncertain. But when I instinctively slid my arm to wrap around his warm waist and pull him closer, he gasped and suddenly forcefully moulded his mouth to mine. Heat seared through me as I kissed him back, my head spinning at a thousand miles an hour. I wanted to pull away, to stop and ask what we were doing but I couldn't bring myself to. Were we ready for this kind of relationsuiP? I couldn't form enough coherent thought to answer my own question.

I moaned involuntarily as I felt his lips part slightly, questioningly. I welcomed the intrusion even as my saner self protested, and the pressure increased as his tongue met mine, hot and limpid. Frank clutched me ever tighter as our mouths remained tightly sealed, his slim hands sliding across my back and shoulders with increasing urgency. I could feel the blood begin to pool in my groin, causing slight discomfort against the sharp ridge of my jeans. As one of Frank's roaming hands slid over my chest and stomach, I shuddered lightly as it finally came to rest gently atop the hard bulge in my trousers. Then as he gently slid his fingers over my length, I gasped sharply and bit down on his lip, causing him to crush himself against me.

Frank pulled back slightly, his dark eyes meeting mine searchingly. I knew he was looking for words I wasn't sure how to say, and so I ducked my head, instead kissing a path down his jawline, placing a kiss on the delicate skin beneath his throat, before using my teeth to gently mark him. Frank moaned harder, and pressed his hand more firmly against my fabric covered cock, causing me to buck my hips up towards his hand.

I think it was then that I realised this might actually happen tonight. We were both eighteen, and even though we might have been virgins, we were also adults. We knew what we wanted.

To fuck.

Stilling Franks hand momentarily, I pulled away to catch his eye. His breathing was ragged even as he looked up at me through his lashes, and smirked. "Frank..." I moaned as he made to touch me again. With great difficulty, I stopped him.

"Do you want to...?" I couldn't quite say the words, and I blushed.

"Fuck?" Frank asked, quirking an eyebrow as he filled in the gaps for me. Blushing even harder, I nodded, praying he would say yes. Wondering where all his confidence was coming from.

"Hell yes" he exclaimed, and then pressed his mouth firmly to mine again. "Wait" I groaned. Much as I hated to interrupt kissing Frank, one sure way to spoil the evening would be my mother, father or brother walking in on us. Briefly detangling myself from Frank I crossed the room and quickly slid the latch across the door, effectively locking it. Then I turned on the stereo, to mask the noise.

I was nothing if not thorough.

Turning back to the bed, I saw Frank lying there, his arm lazily outstretched over his head, the large bulge in his jeans obviously he seemed entirely at ease - confident, and cocksure. I had never seen him like this and I wasn't sure if it was the fact that we were about to have sex, or the months in the institution that had brought about this change. Frank had been sexually abused - yet he was confident about what he wanted. If he wasn't going to let himself hold onto his past, I wasn't going to make him.

Crossing the room towards him, I paused momentarily as he eyed me with what could only be described as speculation. Then I leaned forwards, and pressed my lips against his again.

It was immediate, the flames that had flickered through me when he was near fucking roared as soon as his lips met mine. Instantly, my hands were in his hair, satisfying their curiosity of its texture as the soft strands slid through my fingers. Vaguely, as his tongued entered my mouth, I felt his hands pushing my shirt off my shoulders. Moaning into the kiss, I pulled him closer, trying to get more of him.
Trying to get anything.

Our tongues furiously swirled around each other, and I felt his body begin to tremble with anticipation. As I released his hair, I realized he wasn't the only one shaking.

There was no slow seduction with Frank. After all, we were teenage virgins and we were desperate. Instead, we gripped shirts, unbuttoned pants, pulled and tugged and practically tore the clothes off each other, letting them pile up in a mess of skinny jeans and black shirts on the floor. Our lips only left each other when we were forced to part to remove another piece of clothing.

I had never had the need to completely devour someone as I did him at that moment. We had barely spoken, were already completely naked, and I was guiding him back to the bed with my hands on his hips. Pushing him down, I watched as he fell back onto the bed, his cock slapping against his stomach with the movement. He looked up at me, licking his lips as he reached out to pull me on top of him. Not resisting, in fact there was nothing I wanted fucking more than to feel his naked body completely against mine as he moved beneath me. I fell on top of him, my lips finding his instantly.

The inferno only grew hotter as our cocks touched for the first time, rolling my hips, I rubbed my slickening cock against his and couldn't help the long moan that escaped me. I had never been so hard in my life, no kind of masturbating to porn could compare to the ache I felt with Frank. Not wanting to embarrass myself by coming too soon, I left his lips and worked my way down his jaw and neck, exploring every inch, relishing in the feeling of his abrasive scruff against my lips. Shifting my weight off him, I nibbled my way to his collarbone, keeping a hand in his hair while the other constantly investigated his body, categorizing each and every reaction I got from him.

The way he moaned when my fingers brushed over his hipbone and up the inside of his thigh.

The way his hand clenched when I bit the soft skin of his neck.

The way he said 'fuck' when my rubbed my cock against him.

He writhed below me, raking his nails down my back, and he arched up as my teeth grazed his nipple, his hands weaving almost painfully tightly into my hair. I knew he was having just as difficult time a not coming as I was.

"That's it, baby…let me make you feel good," I muttered, releasing my grip on his hair and kissing my way down his stomach, stopping to circle his navel with my tongue, his skin pebbling with goose bumps. Proud of myself when I felt his stomach muscles ripple under my touch, I smiled.

He was as fit as I had always known he could be, given a few months of good food and exercise.

Nuzzling his cock with my nose, I inhaled his musky scent with curiosity as he cried out. He tried to move, seeking more of my touch, but my hands on his hips held him firm. Frustrated, he murmured a few obscenities. I felt my own cock pulse but denied the urge to reach down and touch myself. Instead, I knelt between his legs, running my hands up and down his thighs.

"Just one second, baby," I said, the name falling easily from my lips. I thanked god for the sexual health classes which had sent me to to buy condoms and lube long before I had ever met Frank. If there was ever an opportunity I was going to get fucked, I had wanted to be ready. I reached over his body and grabbed the required equipment from a hidden corner of the draw in my desk. my position, I reached down and began stroking his cock, watching his face as it contorted with pleasure. "How do you want me?" I figured it was best to ask. After the abuse he had suffered, I had no idea if he would have difficulty with the idea of being penetrated.

Breathlessly, he replied, "I would prefer you inside me if you don't mind."

My night had gotten impossibly better. Not only was I in the same room, fucking naked with the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen, but he wanted me to fuck him.

Perhaps there was a God.

Grinning widely, I let go of him and placed my hands on either side of his shoulders, leaned over and nipped the corner of his jaw. "Mmm that can definitely be arranged. Now since that's out of the way," I paused, sliding my body down his until his cock was just inches from my mouth. " I have more time to focus on his beautiful instrument here." Learning forward, I placed a firm kiss on the tip of his cock.

Fuck, he even tasted good. None of my fantasies could have prepared me for this.

"Fuck," he moaned, and I could tell he was already on the edge, his senses on overload much like mine were.

"Let's see where you're most sensitive," I murmured before seizing his cock in my hand and looking at him through my lashes. Giving him one long lick from the base to the tip with the flat of my tongue, I felt his cock twitch in my grasp. "Oh, we can do better than that," I smirked, swirling my tongue around the head before using the tip to nudge the ridge on the underside of his shaft. A low moan formed in the back of his throat and I felt his toes curl against my legs as he resisted the urge to grab my head and force himself into my mouth. "Hmm, I'm getting warmer…."

As soon as the words had left me, I pointed my tongue and dipped it into his slit, flicking it back and forth quickly.

"Oh, God," he gasped, his hips undulating involuntarily.

Apparently, he had found God as well.

"There we go," I smiled, satisfied. I pulled back and swear he whined. "Just relax," I promised as I hovered over him, bracing one elbow against the bed while the other pinched his nipple and I kissed his neck gently. Moving my hand from his chest, I reached next to me and popped the lube open. As I placed soft kisses down his throat, I drizzled a few drops of lube over his balls, imitating what I had seen in porn videos, hoping it was what I was supposed to do. His hips bucked up, and I chuckled. Putting the bottle back down, I let my fingers gather the lube before moving to the smooth skin below his sac, circling his entrance before I pushed forward, slowing inching inside. When I felt his muscles constrict, I knew he was close.

On the outside, I was calm and collected, taking the lead so that Frank didn't have to. Trying to act like I knew what I was doing. The inside, however, was an entirely different story. Along with my throbbing cock, my heart raced in my chest so fast I thought I was having an anxiety attack. It wasn't just gentle flutters, but a pounding that literally made it feel like it was going to burst from my chest. Attempts to calm myself were of no use, my muscles were tense and I felt like I had had about forty cups of coffee. In the dark of the room, he couldn't see the struggle in my eyes as I tried to keep myself under control.

I wondered if he could feel the affect he was having on me. I wondered if he felt the constant quivers traveling through me.

While I continued to ready him, I made my way down his chest. I desperately wanted to kiss him again, but knew as soon as I felt his tongue with mine, he would wearing my cum. Instead, I teased his nipples with my teeth as I added a second finger to the first.

"Gerard...Gerard...Gerard…" he repeated over and over as I worshipped his body. Licking the defined lines of chest and stomach, I stopped at his hipbone. I felt the tension in his body, the coil wound so tightly it was ready to spring. Fucking him with my fingers, I finally took his cock into my mouth, taking in his entire length a few times before quickly releasing him, grabbing him with my hand and sticking my tongue in his slit again.

When I felt his cock jerk forcefully, I took him into my mouth again and felt his hands in my hair. Holding my head still, I let him fuck my mouth, his hips lurching up off the bed over and over again until the head tapped the back of my throat and the first spurt of his cum erupted and dribbled down my throat. Fisting my hair, he arched up and cried out as ecstasy washed over him and wave after wave of hot fluid shot into my mouth. Continuing to swallow around him, prolonging his pleasure, his body became tight, his muscles trembling with repeated aftershocks. Finally sated, he fell back and I released his softening cock from my mouth and kissed my way back up his stomach, licking the salty sheen of sweat that had gathered on his pale skin.

"Oh my God," he mumbled, his breath coming in short, rough pants. Lifting his shoulders and head off the bed, he pulled my lips to his, searching for his taste.

"It's about to get a lot better," I promised with a wink. "Can you handle it?"

"Bring it on," he chuckled. Rising to my knees again, I grabbed a condom and tore it open. Sliding it down my shaft, I felt uncomfortable under the intensity of his stare.

No matter how controlled I acted, I had never done this before and I was terrified I would fail, or hurt him in some way. The pit in my stomach grew as he stared at me with expectation I feared I wouldn't live up to. Never had I seen myself so desired in someone's eyes, and the feeling consumed me.

Nervously, I stroked myself, and then I held my finger out to him. Watching me under his lashes, he sucked it into his mouth, lavishing it with his tongue before I pulled it out and immediately entered his ass with it. While his body was still relaxed from his orgasm, I pulled my finger out and positioned my cock at his entrance, moaning as his body tightly welcomed me inch by inch. Going much slower than my body screamed for, I gripped his knees, keeping his legs wide for me as I watched myself enter him.

I had never seen anything so fucking erotic in my life.

His muscles stretched to accommodate me, contracting around me so tightly I felt the pulse in my cock. One of his hands rested on my forearm, his nails digging into my flesh while his other hand ran up and down his chest and stomach.

"Fuck," he hissed through clenched teeth. With half of my cock in the embrace of his ass,

I stopped, unsure if I was hurting him. I ached to push forward and shove myself deep inside him. "Please, don't stop," he begged, gripping my arm so tight his knuckles began to turn white. Sighing in relief, I allowed my hips to slowly move forward until I was fully seated in him.

Looking down, I saw myself completely sheathed by him and I swear to god, I had never felt as fucking amazing as I did right then. When I heard him moan, I forced my eyes up to his and saw him watching us too. Instinctively, I began to slowly pull almost all the way out, only to push back in. He looked up at me, and our eyes met.

Watching him as I began rhythmically thrusting and in out of his velvet warmth, I felt my heart skip a beat at the vulnerability I suddenly felt. I had been scared before, I had been threatened before, but nothing frightened me as much as being so exposed as I felt when he looked at me. It was as if he was reading my internal thoughts, as if he knew every worry and fear I had had ever had, things that had remained buried and protected for so long were suddenly being uncovered by his hazel eyes.

"Frankie," I heard myself whisper. It was the first time I had spoken his pet name since he had returned, and I was shocked at the ease with which it fell from my lips while I was in his arms, as if I had called it out every night for a thousand nights. When he heard his name, something flickered in his eyes, something knowing, something that told me he felt it too.

Each time I rocked my hips, a look of bliss crossed his face as I hit a spot deep inside him. Reaching down, I wrapped my fingers around his cock and stroked him a few times. Feeling him grow harder with each pump of my hand, I stilled my pelvis and concentrated on stroking him. He lifted his ass off the bed to fuck my hand, precum seeped from his slit, and I slickened his cock with it. Resuming my thrusts, I timed them with my strokes, concentrating on how good he felt in my hand instead of how good my cock felt inside him.

"Fuck me, Gerard," he groaned, and it was my undoing. I felt the burn begin in my balls, and they tightened as the fire spread through my abdomen. "Harder, fuck me harder."

I held his hip with one hand and slammed forcefully into him just as he had asked, hoping to hold off for a few more thrusts.

"Is that what you want?" I asked, my breath coming out in large gasps.

"I want you," he replied simply.

He wanted me.

My head lolled back as I came, cum jettisoning from me in quick bursts as my orgasm exploded through my body with a force I had never experienced before. Every muscle shuddered and visibly shook as the euphoric waves ebbed over me. Wrapping his legs around my waist, he restricted my movements, keeping me deep in him as I rode out the last ripples of rapture. When I opened my clenched eyes, I felt his hips bucking up; I had forgotten I was still holding his cock in my hand.

"You want to come again, Frankie?"

Biting down on his lip so hard I thought it might bleed, he nodded. His hands on my thighs, I continued to stroke him, pumping his cock at a furious pace as I watched him wantonly chase his second orgasm. When he started to moan, and I saw the muscles of his stomach tighten, I reached for his hand that was on my leg. Taking it, I entwined my fingers with his, holding tightly as he called out my name and came again. His creamy fluid flowed warm and thick from his cock and down over my hand. The spasms of his ass contracted around my softening cock, milking every last drop from me.

Watching myself enter his ass had been erotic. Watching him cum while I was still inside him was surreal, the feelings it evoked, not only physically, but emotionally.

I had reached for his hand and held it as he came.

I had never held someone's hand like this before, not during such an intimate moment. However, nothing had ever felt more natural.

He lay back on the bed, his eyes closed, his chest heaving, his cock dripping the last of his sweet cum onto his curls as he sighed with contentment.

His hand still in mine.

Motionless, I waited, not wanting to lose the connection I felt. As much as it scared me, it thrilled me. I felt drained, weak, and oddly energetic at the same time. Afraid to move, I remained in him, his thumb rubbing my hand as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled up at me.

"Wow" Frank whispered softly. I concurred.

Not wanting to let him go, I pulled him closer against me, snuggling into his side. His hands traced patterns over my face, delicately outlining my features and I shivered at his easy familiarity. "What does this mean Gerard?" he asked me quietly.

"I don't know" I answered honestly, gazing up at him, still bathing in the afterglow.

Right then I didn't care. I was going to say more, but suddenly Frank tilted his head back and gave the hugest yawn I had ever seen, and rubbed at his eyes like a kitten. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen, and I giggled at him. "Are you tired baby?" I teased.

"You have no idea" he groaned. "I've been awake since fucking five am"

"Sleep?"

"Yeah...maybe" he conceded reluctantly.

Leaning across him, I reached for the light switch and flicked it off. I knew my mom would find it weird that the door was still locked, but there was no way I was sending Frank to sleep in a separate bunk. I wanted to feel his smooth body against mine as we slept, in a way I had never experienced before.

The bunk was too small and it was slightly awkward as we struggled to fit onto it, but eventually we arranged our limbs suitably into a semblance of comfort. I found myself relieved that Frank had put on some weight, as it made his elbows that much less sharp and bony and his hipbone that much less likely to jab me. Wrapping my arms loosely around his body, I smiled into his shoulder.

His warm back pressed against my chest, and I stroked his hair, before letting my hand come to rest on his shoulder.

"Gee?"

"Yeah?"

"Sweet dreams" he said softly. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, mixed with something else I couldn't decipher.

"Sweet dreams Frankie" I murmured.

/

The sunlight was bright in the little room, piercing the slats of the wooden blinds over the window.

It wasn't my room. I knew that much. The tall well-stacked bookshelves, signed band posters and dismantled drum kit in the corner didn't belong to me. The double bed I was sitting on with the navy blue bedspread wasn't mine either. I recognised it all though - this was a place I had visited many time before. I had even slept in this bed on more than one occasion.

I didn't know where this certainty came from. But as I looked around, I already knew that most of the clothes lying around would fit me reasonably well, but be a little baggy. I recognised the scent on the pillows, and I knew that the adjoining white door on the left led to a little bathroom, whilst the wooden door directly opposite me led to a set of stairs. I didn't know how I knew it, I just knew.

I looked around, taking in the chaos. Tables and drawers were filled to overflowing with clothes, books and artefacts. This room was well lived in. There were bright pastel coloured awards on the walls, the kind that children recieve for succeeding in some venture, or placing top of a class. The certificates on the walls spanned over a decade, suggesting it was a teenage boys bedroom. But it wasn't me that lived here. I leaned closer to the framed certificates, to read the name. The occupant of this room was a certain H Palmer.

H. I was in H's room.

What was I doing here? I should have been in bed with Frank, why was I here? As I mused this, I noticed that nothing I had been staring at seemed certain. A pile of clothes I could have sworn were previously in the corner on the left were now hanging from the ceiling. The light had turned an eerie shade of red. Everything was transitory, nothing was still.

I muttered to myself, the words springing from my lips without conscious thought. "If I had a world of my own...everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't."

I heard the creaking on the stairs, and I flinched. A sense of dread was rising in me, that this peaceful room was about to be shattered.

"And contrary wise. What it would, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

The wooden door opened. Slowly. With great emphasis. It was him.

H stood in the doorway, silently. In the three years since I had last seen him, he hadn't changed. He was still fifteen, and as I looked down at myself taking in my smaller muscles and height, I realised I must be fifteen again too. His sandy hair tossed casually across his eyes the way it always had as he winked at me, and he slouched lightly against the doorframe.

"What's up Gee?" He asked, moving into the room. We could have been old friends meeting anywhere from the casual tone he used. Something in my head was telling me there was something I was supposed to remember about H - some reason why he and I shouldn't be in this room under any circumstances. But I couldn't remember what that reason might be.

"Hey H" I said half heartedly. At my greeting, his face lit up with the dazzling smile I remembered, and his sudden happiness was so complete I couldn't help but return it. Moving further into the room, he reached out and grasped my hand, using it as leverage to pull me from the bed. Once I was standing, he wrapped his arms around me. I could feel him still smiling into my neck.

"I missed you" he told me.

"I haven't been anywhere." I was confused. Had I been anywhere? Had I ever been anywhere except this room?

"You left me" H informed me. "But it's okay! You're here now. You're here to stay now."

Before I could do anything, he bent his head and kissed me, pressing his lips firmly against mine. He tasted of beer and regret, just the way I had remembered his kisses. Remembered? Had I kissed him before?

My head was spinning as he pushed his mouth onto mine more forcefully, pressing his body against mine. This was wrong - so wrong. Why was he doing this? We had been apart for so long, and he tasted nothing like Frank.

So long. Frank.

Oh my god.

I didn't realise I had said the words out loud until H pulled away, frowning now. He looked sulky. "What's wrong baby?" He asked, keeping his face close to mine.

"No...no...we can't do this" I said, struggling to escape his grip. "You're not real. You're dead..."

H's face twisted suddenly, becoming a rictus of fury as his eyes darkened with rage. "DEAD?!" He howled, gripping my shoulders so tightly I thought the bones were going to crack. I started to cry. I couldn't help myself, even though I knew it was pathetic. This was my best friend. Why was he doing this to me?

"Dead?" H asked more calmly. "Do I look dead to you?"

He didn't look dead. His pale freckled skin was flushed with life, and he was solid and warm under my hands. But I had watched as they lowered his coffin into the fucking grave. He was dead. Fear overcame me, and I tore myself violently away from his grip, feeling the fabric of my shirt rip under his hands.

"Leave" I begged him, sobbing in earnest now. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

I covered my eyes so I couldn't see him, and childishly wished it would just all go away.

"You killed me Gery"

His voice was calm, but the words were deadly sincere. He was right, I had killed him.

"I'm sorry."

"I was fifteen. You just couldn't love me, could you? Couldn't let us have a life together? We would have been good together Gery"

"I'm sorry"

"Did you watch my mother cry?" He hissed, prising my hands away from my face, making me look at him again. Watch his eyes as he enunciated every word clearly. "Did you know she blames you too? You didn't have to be such a fucking bastard when you told me you would never love me."

He was right.

"Everything you love dies..." He whispered to me.

Suddenly he was gone from in front of me. Wondering where he was, I turned and looked in vain. And then I screamed.

His pale body was hanging from the ceiling above my head. Lifeless, limp and white. The stench from where his bodily fluids had released filled the room, and as I caught a glimpse of his face I choked in horror at the thick potruding tongue; the blue lips. The bruises spreading across his throat, and the thick rough rope knotted around his neck.

"No..." I moaned.

He twitched. I flinched, and backed away from him onto the bed, trying to get away from the jerking corpse hanging on the end of the rope. All the remained of my best friend.

As I scrambled further backwards, I realised there didn't seem to be any end to the bed, and I twisted around to see where the wall was. Just in time to see the abyss open up as I tumbled into the darkness.

/

I woke up with a jerk.

Somehow Frank and I had swapped positions in the night, and I was lying at the very edge of the bed, my arm trailing over the floor. I was cold, so cold I was almost shaking. There was no heating in my bedroom, and I was naked without blankets in the middle of winter.

Frank was lying flush against the wall, wrapped tightly in my blankets. His sleeping face was peaceful, his chest falling and rising with each deep slow breath. He looked utterly relaxed, lost in whatever dreams he was having. I started to cry quietly as I watch him. The hot tears were coming from nowhere, but they flooded painfully down my cheeks as I looked at the beautiful boy lying in my bed.

Everything I love dies...

I don't know how long I watched Frank. It was the middle of the night, but I knew I wouldn't sleep again. My mind was racing, coming up with thousands of thoughts, theories and scenarios. Frank would want to be in a relationship with me if I stayed. He had given me his virginity. He loved me. There was no way we could pretend last night had never happened.

I remembered how selfish I had been when Frank arrived. How I had denied him help because I wanted to be the one that fixed him. Frank had tried to kill himself too, and he had very nearly succeeded. Because I hadn't told anyone how bad things were. Another person I loved had nearly died because of me.

Everything I touch turns to stone...

I would ruin Frank. I would be the death of him. What could I possibly offer him if I stayed? I would destroy him, because that was what I did. My thoughts were barely coherent, but I knew what I needed to do.

Silently I slipped from the bed, taking care not to wake Frank. He murmured lightly in his sleep as I shifted the sheets, and I froze. I knew that if he woke up right then, I would never be able to let myself leave. I loved him too fucking much, more than I could ever describe. Just one word from him, and I would be here forever.

Frank mumbled a few more times, and I waited with bated breath. But after a snuffle, he caught my pillow under his arm, and turned further towards the wall. A light snore escaped his throat. I felt my own throat constrict with tears. He hadn't woken.

I packed a bag quickly. Only the essentials - a change of underwear, wallet, my sketchbook and pencils. Dressing in the dark, I pulled on the first clothes that came to hand, and then shrugged on a leather jacket. A glance at the clock confirmed it was 4am. It was going to be absolutely fucking freezing outside. Stuffing my feet into shoes, I turned to the door, and then I paused. I considered leaving a note on the pillow. How cliche was I going to get? But in the end I couldn't bring myself to. What could I say to him? An apology could never suffice, and a sheet of paper wasn't enough for the thousands of words I needed to tell him.

I should have told him about H months ago. But I never had.

I looked back at Frank one last time, the tears blurring my vision. He lay straight, in the bed. I could make out the delicate lines of his limbs under the blankets, and the outline of his arm where it wrapped around the pillow. From his position turned away from my view, I could only see the pale curve of his cheek, and the dark strands of hair that rested softly, fanning over the pillow.

He had never looked more beautiful to me than in that moment.

After one long last look, I turned back towards the door. And then I walked away from my dark eyed lover, ripping my own heart out in the process.

/

/

/

Please trust that this was a necessary plot twist and don't send me threatening reviews claiming you know where I live and intend to arrive with a shotgun.

Two chapters left! And one of them is already written. I'm so excited wow, I've never finished a story before.

On another note, thank you so much to anyone who reviewed the last chapter. It really lifted me out of my writing funk and kicked my ass into gear enough to write a ton. Thank you!

"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance..."

~Hana Belladonna