The two men sat in silence until they saw Nate and Sara come out of Natalie's room and head towards them. John's heart beat a little faster at the unreadable expression on both of their faces. Was Natalie okay? Was she still convinced she wasn't worth keeping? Could he even do anything to change it?
"Hey" Nate said, "Everything okay here?" he asked, wondering how Jake and John were acting civil towards each other.
"Yeah" Jake said, "Just wanted to check in, but um, I guess I'll be going. Our plane's leaving in a bit. Thanks for everything Nate"
"Thanks for the opportunity" Nate said as Jake left. Once he was gone he turned to John, "He giving you more grief?"
"No, he apologized, actually" John said, but then asked the only question he really cared about, "How is she?"
Nate and Sara looked at each other.
"You can guess" Nate said.
"I was afraid of that" he said. She was still upset, still convinced she wasn't worth someone's time, that she was a burden. He wanted nothing more than to prove her wrong, show her she was so much more than that.
"She asked for you" Nate said.
John looked at the two of them for a minute, unbelieving of what he was hearing, "You sure about that?"
They both nodded.
"She asked us not to say anything else" Sara added.
He was sure she was only going to ask about the jet and chew him out again, but he went in without another word. If she was willing to talk to him, even if it was an argument, he wasn't about to turn it down. If she wanted a fight, he'd give her one, because if they were fighting, at least she was willing to see him.
Natalie wiped a tear away when she saw the door open. She hadn't really stopped crying since she woke up, and now that she'd admitted it to herself, all she wanted was for John to wipe her tears away and tell her it was all going to be okay. She didn't know what she'd say when he came, and it looked like her time to think about it was up.
Their eyes met. Natalie could see how defeated he looked, how tired. She knew him well, and she could guess he had spent more hours watching her sleep than actually sleeping, in addition to the days she'd spent in the hospital, during which she knew he hadn't slept a wink. He cared so much that she was going to be okay, and thanks to him, she was. Once again, her decision became clear.
She was trying to hide her tears. For a second, neither said anything, but he could see the pain in her eyes, the pain he had put there. She used to know she didn't have to hide her tears from him, that he could never think less of her because of it. It was his fault she no longer knew that, that she couldn't trust him anymore. He'd done this to her, and he would give all he could to give it back to her. He figured maybe if he started, maybe they could build their friendship back, and he could work on it from there.
"Nate said you wanted to talk to me. I called Bo, the jets on the way, you'll have to go back with Lord and Manning, so I don't envy you, but we'll get you home"
She smiled, and in response, he took a few steps closer. He was trying so hard to make sure he didn't upset her. As he came closer, she finally spoke, "So where is it?"
"Where's what?" he asked, now next to her.
She could see he was thoroughly confused, and she smiled through her tears. She held out her left hand so he would get what she was saying. "You said if I wanted it, it was mine"
Instinctively, he took her hand and looked into her eyes, searching them to understand what she was saying. It took him a minute to get it, and another to find his voice. He could hear the shake in his voice when he finally asked her, "You mean it?"
She nodded her head yes and in the next second, John had sat down next to her and hugged her flush against him. He didn't understand how his life had taken such a dramatic one-eighty turn, but right now he just wanted to hug Natalie, hold her and remember this moment forever.
As soon as John was sure this was really happening, he let Natalie go, still holding onto her hand. He pushed her hair back, smiling just a little as he became positive from the look in her eyes that this was what she really wanted.
"So where is it?" she asked again.
"It's at the house. I didn't want to bring it, I figured-"
"Okay" she said, "We'll have to go back and pack anyway"
"Can I ask why?"
She laid a hand on the side of his face. "Because after I thought about it, I realized how much you had to give up these last few days, and all that you must have gone through because of it, and why you'd do all that for me, and the only reason is that you love me"
"I love you so much" he said.
They kissed for a short moment, and then John held her again, resting his face on her shoulder and a few tears escaping.
"John" she said, when she felt his tears, "Are you okay?" she asked when he looked at her again.
"I just, I was convinced you'd never let me see you again, and now we're getting married"
"I do have conditions" she said.
"Name em. I'm not screwing this up again"
"We stay engaged for a year. You have to leave the station by 7, and you don't work on the weekend. And you're not going out of town for more than a day without me"
"I'd say that's more than fair" he said.
"I want this to work" she said.
"We'll make it work" he said, "You didn't want me to ask?"
"No. I already got one perfect proposal from you, why should you try and top it, you won't be able to"
"I'm glad you liked it so much, it was hell on me"
"Maybe that was half the fun" Natalie said, "Can I ask you one question?"
"Of course"
"Why'd you do it?"
He knew she was asking about their time on the beach, and how he'd let it get that far. He could see she wasn't angry, but at the same time, he knew she must feel a little upset or betrayed. He pushed her hair back, saw her lean into his touch, and knew she wasn't going to be angry at his answer.
"You know, you've never been vain or really cared what you looked like in front of me, and I have to admit I've always found that pretty sexy, but you know when you didn't remember, you would say these things about how you looked and if I could even still think of you that way anymore. For the last three days, you were twenty-five, and you looked at me just like you did then, and I felt like I was young again" he said, "Last night, I don't know you looked at me the way you do and all of a sudden I forgot, too. For a while, it felt like it used to back then, when it was just you and me and you could always make me forget" he said, "I knew it was wrong, but, the moment just felt so right"
Natalie smiled, "I guess I do have that power over you"
He smiled back, "Bo offered me my job back. He really wants me to take it"
"You should" she said, "We should also open Rodi's backup"
"You promise this isn't a dream?"
"It's real"
"Thank you"
"I should be thanking you. You really went out of your way to make sure I'd be okay" she said, "You never mentioned you gave me two pints of blood"
He half chuckled, "Sounds dumb, but with everything else, I forgot about that"
"Did you get yourself checked out? That wasn't safe"
"Yeah, well, I wasn't about to risk it" he said, "besides, what's a few pints of blood when I get you and my whole life back"
"I can't wait to go home with you"
"Where is home?" he said, "If you want to wait, I'll get a room at Angel's Square, but-"
"I got an apartment. Right by where the house was. It's big, Liam has his own room, my bedroom has a bathroom attached. I have plenty of room. And I've spent enough nights by myself to last a lifetime"
He looked down, "It's been a long a year. I've missed you"
"The restraining order- John, it wasn't me"
"I know that now. I should've known right away"
"I know you didn't cheat, not really"
John looked at her, and at this moment, he wanted to know the answer to the question that was plaguing him, "Earlier, you said there was another guy-"
"It was a mistake and I should have known that from the beginning" she said, wanting him to understand where her head had been when she had so stupidly made that mistake.
"I get it, of all people, I get that" he said, "but- he cheated on you?"
"I should have made myself more explicit"
"Don't do that. You deserve better than that"
"Yeah, he did"
"Who was he?" he asked.
Natalie could tell from the tone of his voice that John was ready to do some serious damage to this guy for hurting her. She didn't know if he really deserved that, after all she had been dumb enough to walk into it blinded, "John-" she started.
"I won't hurt him" he said, "but I'll damn sure he understands how much he screwed up"
"When you hear his name, you'll understand, I really should have seen it coming"
"I don't care" he said.
She sighed, seeing no way around it, he was a good detective and he knew her well, if she didn't give it up, he'd just keep trying, "It was Cutter" she said, quietly.
"Wentworth?" he asked.
"I told you, I was dumb" she said.
"I guess we've both made mistakes" he said.
"You didn't sleep with a con"
"I just want you to know, in case you didn't" he said, "You are worth keeping, Natalie. You're worth all of it. The cushy suburbs, the overbearing in laws, 2 am wake ups. Doing it all with you, it doesn't seem so scary. I'd do anything if it meant keeping you for myself"
"I'm yours. I always have been" she said, "and I want you to know, the other day you said something about Jared-" she paused for a second, trying to find the words.
"Natalie, I shouldn't have-"
"You were right. I did love him. But not the same way I love you" she said, "I've never loved anyone like I love you" she said, "And the fact that even when I told you I didn't need to remember, that you wanted me to remember him-"
"I want all of you, Natalie, past included"
Their moment was interrupted when the doctor came back in with release forms. He stopped short at the scene in front of him since it was so vastly different from the state he'd last seen things in.
"So I take it things have changed for the better?" he asked the two.
"Definitely" Natalie said.
"I'm glad to hear it"
"Well, then maybe you'd like to know she's agreed to marry me" John said through a smile, though his eyes didn't stray from Natalie's.
"I'm sure the two out in the hall would be happy hear to hear that" he said, "congratulations" he said.
Shortly, the matter of Natalie's release was out of the way, and once dressed, the two happy couples celebrated briefly in the hallway.