HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVELIES!

How are you all! Miss me? I've missed you!

Thank you ALL for being patient. This week has been the WEEK FROM HELL. I had a huge immunology exam on Tuesday which i was studying for ALL DAMN WEEKEND. I either passed or failed! I'll know NEXT Tuesday. So well shall see!

So I've actually been collaborating with an amazingly awesome and talented writer and friend and I think we've got some AWESOME stuff about to hit your way. So all I have to say - hang on. It's gunna be a fun ride.

TWO THINGS: Please give my wife a lovely HELLO and a GOOD LUCK - she has a pathology quiz tomorrow and she's a bit nervous about it. She's not able to beta for me as much anymore because of school. She's in veterinarian medicine and so she's all kinds of crazy. Give her some love because she is STRESSING!

Second - please give a warm welcome and some love to my good friend, who I refer to as twatwaffle, rightersblock! She has been helping me work things out with the story, bringing me back to look at everything and she has graciously agreed to beta for this chapter (and I'm probably going to annoy her and try to get her to beta for future ones too!)

AS ALWAYS - QUESTIONS COMMENTS CONCERNS all welcome. I LOVE YOU ALL. I'm going to try to reply to some people below. THOSE OF YOU THAT READ THOUGH THEM KNOW that I give away answers and snippets of things in the questions. So if you're looking for additional easter eggs or answers, READ BELOW

GUESTS!

Oh Isabeau…what are we going to do with her. I think Bo will be honest. The LAST thing they need is communication problems - at least, more than they already have. Of course Lauren will do well on her interview - but does she get accepted? You can do well on an interview and not be accepted to med school. Especially because Lauren didn't apply to ANY OTHER SCHOOLS and this interview was an exception. Lets see! I think i passed or failed my exam. One of those two. I took it. That was a step. glad you thought it was the hottest love scene yet. I try to up my game. If anyone is interested in a particular scene, PM me. writing is like my stress relief. when i write, work and school stuff becomes more clear. and YOU ROCK TOO! ISABEAU THE RETURN! MUAHAHAHAH I'm glad so many of you think the sex scenes are awesome - i think they could be better. I need to work on that. just that 'it sticks' we'll find out! poor trick indeed! you'll find out where she's staying. In the AREA magina are all dead. So maybe THIS will make your thursday! GOD HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG NO! it's getting hot in here. so take off all your clothes… sorry, a little Nelly! Wow i'm old. TRY WRITING FAN FIC IN PUBLIC! Especially having the write the sex scenes. OMG. My face is totally crimson like all the fucking time. not appropriate on school days is a line that i use. it's not. SORRY! i can't believe it's been a week. I had shit to figure out. Thankfully rightersblock helped with that. Give her a shoutout! can't tell you isabeau's endgame. sorry. that's cheating!

A fan - I am well! Thank you! I am coming to you from a break in working on a presentation for 1030 tomorrow morning! Ha! Gotta love break time! And yes, that job is taken. So Lauren says "not appropriate for school days" that comes from ME.

Theresa Gardner - Thanks! I am working on the paper NOW but needed a break. Of course granny has Bo's answers. lol.

Joannrbb - I am in Arizona or in San Diego when I visit. So yes. And I typically post right before bed. Grandma Grandma…that's all i'll say.

Dragonfly00 - I'd slap granny.

Alienor26 - Yep. pretty much. No one trusts Isabeau. I DON'T trust Isabeau!

- well the fun part was, I was starting to write regular chapter stuff and Bo was like "ahem…. we're not done yet." and so I got dragged back into writing more sex. LOL

KK - you don't have to read THIS one at home. Do I need to put a warning on my sex chapters? Like "NSFW" or something? Are they really that hot? I think they can be better… I need to make them better.

Hayley128 - THANKS LOVE! I'm excited to see where this all goes!

Mia - So here's the thing, I had a few requests (which people know how my other work know I will write just about anything). There will NOT be SOLELY dildo sex in this story from here on out. It is one component. There will be other types of sex scenes. If you (or anyone else out there) wants to see a specific scene play out, let me know.

Kt - glad you read it in your free time babe! Glad you enjoyed!

CheekyMadom - why is everyone about the babies? Geesh! they're in school! give em some time lol

DD - interesting indeed

OKAY YALL

PLEASE SHOW ME SOME LOVE! I HAVE MISSED YOU

"No." The answer was sharp, decisive and final.

"Lauren, we need to find out."

"Not from her. There will be a different way."

"Look," I said, trying to keep my voice composed. I straightened my posture to stop leaning against the back of the couch and walked into the kitchen towards her. "I'm not asking you to come. I would prefer you not come, to be honest. Darius and Lucas are always around – hell, I honestly prefer you at the lake house where I know she has no ability to get to you, but I know the exilisum is in place,. However, I can't see it and therefore I don't trust it. But I need to figure this out. She won't hurt me, Lauren."

"Right, because she's proved that when she was draining you at the Dal!" Lauren yelled at me.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my rising frustration. We had been fighting about this for hours . Maybe I shouldn't have told her about this. I had been quiet on the drive back from school – Lauren wanted to go to her place, so we did. We had been there a few times since being back from the lake house, partly because it was actually her home, and partly because we both knew that she'd be staying there more often once school started. Apparently, Evony had made good on her word when Lauren was in the hospital – her small apartment was…well, still hers. Electricity was on, water was on and the place was spotless – not a single speck of dust anywhere.

"Lauren, listen… I'm going. I need to find this out."

"No, Bo. You listen to me. Don't go."

"Why is this such an issue for you? She's my grandmother! She's not going to hurt me and if she tries, I can take care of myself, Lauren!"

"Because I can't protect you!"

"What?"

"Bo, I saw what she was doing to you. I had to stop her from hurting you."

"We were fighting Lauren – she wasn't killing me."

"But she could have, Bo. And then what? Where does that leave us? Where does that leave me?"

"What are you talking about Lauren?"

"Bo, if something happens to you…"

"Nothing is going to happen to me."

"Like nothing happened to me?"

Really? She had to go there? It wasn't enough that I blamed myself for her capture. She just had to go there. She had to rub it in my face. Not to mention the fact that it had been over a month and she still refused to tell me what had happened. Lauren just kept living life – pretending everything was fine and perfect and peaches when I was the one jumping out of my skin if I lost sight or her or if I woke up and she wasn't next to me. I had given her time and space, but enough was absolutely enough.

"That's not fair and you know it! And for the record I don't even know what happened because you won't talk to me about it!"

"Because it's not pretty Bo! It was a fucking nightmare!"

"What? You believe I think that you were down there having a continuous party?"

"No…I…"

"Because let me tell you something, Lauren. I spent so much time trying to find you. I knew you were hurting. I could feel it. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew something was! And I did everything I could to find you! Only to be met with a body that looked like you and even had your fucking DNA. You have no idea what that felt like. It was excruciating! I couldn't breathe. I couldn't eat. Kenzi had to feed me like a damn toddler. My entire world shattered in an instant, Lauren. And you have the audacity to bring up how bad it was for you but not really tell me about it? I thought we were in this together? I know what my grandmother is capable of – she was the one that forced me to feed on someone else. She was the one that kept me in the dark! The one that led me in all the wrong directions. I know, Lauren! Okay? I know! But deep down…even after that.. I decided that it didn't matter. It didn't matter what plane you were on or if you were in the underworld. I was going to get you back. I haven't told you everything that I went through because it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter because you are here. You are safe now. And together we can get through anything…at least that is what I thought…"

"Bo… I'm sor-"

"No! You know what Lauren… I am trying here, okay? I'm trying to be strong… to do everything I can – to be here for you. Because I fucking love you. I learned to communicate for you. And I push away everything that's hurting me to make sure that you are okay. Which I would do again in a fucking heartbeat, but you can't even let me in. You refuse. You're not okay and I know that. I have been giving you time to adjust and figure it out, but half the time, you act as if nothing happened, and then you have these moments when you're angry and you lash out. Which…fine. If you're angry, then BE angry. You should be angry. You should be hurt. You should be broken! You don't have to be strong for me. I'm supposed to be strong for you. But you won't fucking let me in," I yelled, my signs strong and forceful.

Lauren stood there, silent, her palms against the kitchen counter as she let all of my words wash over her.

"You just don't know…" she said weakly.

"And I never will unless you tell me. Lauren… I'm not ever going to know how you feel. But I thought we were in this together. Maybe I was wrong. I'm going to go see Isabeau because I need to know what the hell this is. She said she wanted me to be prepared – so I need to figure out what that means."

"So go to Trick!" Lauren's voice became very loud, very quickly.

"Don't you think I thought of that?" I signed back, my face reddening.

"He's the Blood King. He should know. Hell, he has been with your grandmother – who is a succubus. So if whatever this is between us happened to them he would know about it, right?"

"Maybe not! I sensed…"

"What, Bo?"

I shook my head. God why was this so goddamn infuriating? I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how I wanted to put this.

"Since working with Darius… I've been able to…pick up on…fuck. Honestly, I don't even know what it is or how to explain it. I just can sense this… underlying information. Like…things they don't want to tell me but I need to know. I never know what it is exactly… this is making no sense."I paused for a moment, trying to re-gather my thoughts. The fact was I really didn't know how to explain it because I didn't understand it. I just knew it existed.

"It's the same underlying sense that tells me that Trick isn't lying when he told me that he didn't know about you. I have no other evidence except his word – I mean, Isabeau confirmed after, but I believed him from the moment he said something. I wasn't sure if I could, but I did. Something inside of me told me that he didn't know. And going back even further – I knew before I asked. I just knew. I can't explain it. I can't define it. I just knew. And so I just know that I need to talk to Isabeau about this. And I know that she isn't try to hurt me . If I could go talk to another succubus, I would, but that's not really an option right now, is it?"

"Bo, I don't like it..."

"I know! You've made yourself incredibly clear. But I have to go."

"Where are you going?"

"Lauren…"

"You're going to go see her now?"

I nodded. "I'm proud of you for your interview. I know you did amazing. I don't want to fight, but this is just something I have to do. You can be mad. You can be worried. But you cannot stop me from going."

Lauren's eyes flickered downwards.

I closed the space between us – I hated when she looked down. Why was she so frustrating? I grabbed her chin lightly and tilted it upwards until she finally made eye contact with me.

"I love you," I spoke clearly before bringing her lips to mine sweetly.

After a few moments, I broke the kiss and walked to the couch to grab my jacket that I had laid over the back.

"When will you be home?" Lauren's voice called to me.

"I don't know," I admitted, turning around so she could see my hands. "I have a feeling I know where she is, so I'm going to try there first. Are you going to be here?"

The blonde nodded. "Do you still have your key?"

"I do. Do you want me to come here when I'm through?"

"Please."

"Okay. I love you, Lauren. It's going to be okay. Do you need me to get Darius or Lucas?"

"No…I'm not worried about me."

"Okay. I love you, I'll be back later."

And with that, I put on my coat and walked out the door, determined to find my grandmother.

When I was little and Isabeau and Trick would get in a fight, Isabeau would always being me here. It's funny - the small bungalow looked so much grander when I was younger. Then again, back then there weren't nearly as many other houses on the small strip of beach to compare to. I parked the car and waited. I knew she was watching me…waiting for my next move. I didn't even realize how hard I was gripping the steeling wheel until looked down at my knuckles and noted the white flesh stretching over the bones, the pads of my fingers contrasting bright red against the steering wheel. I had contemplating leaving – but what would that do? I was here for a reason and I need to see it through. Holding tightly to my resolve, I undid my seat belt and exited the car.

Sure enough, I was greeted by the familiar woman at the door before I even knocked.

"Come in, my love…"

"I'd rather not," I replied sharply.

"Bo," the older woman looked dejected. "I promised you, no lies and no games. But we have a lot to discuss… please, come inside."

I sighed deeply as I entered the small house. It hadn't changed. There were seashells everywhere – all ones that she and I had found from our different adventures out to different countries and states. I snuck in here many times as a teenager, when I just needed to get away and I didn't want to go home. In fact, when Kenzi ran away, this is where I brought her.

Isabeau led the way to the round oak table in the center of the kitchen and guided me to sit down opposite of her. It was weird being back here, especially under such negative circumstances. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back against the chair.

My grandmother shot me an annoyed look. I don't know why, but I felt the need to straighten my posture and fold my hands on top of the table. I was so angry with her – felt so betrayed… but in this moment, she was my grandmother and I could sense - that feeling again - that she really wasn't trying to bullshit me.

"What questions do you have, Bo?"

"You know why I'm here, Isabeau. Do we really have to do this?"

"I need to know what you want to know, love. Otherwise I can't help you."

This was ridiculous.

"Look, you said you knew why Lauren gets stronger… even the concept goes against her nature as an Eired. I can heal her from small wound, but the cognitive elements I can't, and I can't heal her hearing. When she uses her powers in any other form, she weakens but when she uses them with me, she gets stronger. "

"Have you ever heard of Anam Cara?"

"Is that some kind of weird take out?"

The older woman rolled her eyes at me. "No. Anam Cara is term used among our kind used to describe a phenomenon that happens among certain succubi."

Isabeau got up from her seat and went into the living and grabbed a jar. She then repositioned herself back in front of me. "Do you remember what I taught you about sea shells, Bo?" she asked me, dumping a few of the sea shells out onto the table.

"When I was a kid, you told me that each seashell was one half of a whole, torn apart and swept away by the current, never to be whole again."

"Correct. What if I told you that's only partially true?"

"What do you mean?"

At my question, she lifted a single sea shell up – still connected to its other half – and placed it on the center of the table.

"An Anam Cara is like the other half of a sea shell. It's extremely rare to find, but when one does find it, it's precious and cherished, and it stands out. "

"Beautiful story. What does it have to do with Lauren?"

"Bo, be patient," she directed giving me a firm look. "Every succubus has an Anam Cara. Not every succubus meets their Anam Cara, but some do. However, meeting your Anam Cara is not enough. There's a choice that must be made – a test of time. The succubus will not know that this person is their Anam Cara, and most Succubi do not even hear of this tale until after they have found theirs. It's sacred Succubi and Incubi knowledge passed down from generation to generation – never to be written in books or told to other Fae species."

"Okay… I'm confused. Are you saying that Lauren is my…Aman…"

"Anam Cara. And yes, I believe she is."

"So how does this work?"

"The bonding of a Succubus to their Anam Cara is time-dependent. The zenith of their bond peaks within one year of a verbal or physical act of commitment - if the succubus remains faithful. They are not to have sexual relations or prey on others. Feeds on anyone other than the Anam Cara are only permitted when the feed is not hunger related – such as healing or combat. As time moves forward, the succubus and the Anam Cara progressively become stronger – both individually and as a unit. Both will be able to harness power that they never dreamt possible before and both become virtually invulnerable. However, it is wise to remember that I said virtually – neither are immortal. There is very little that could hurt a Succubus or her Anam Cara – mere weapons, Fae powers, and the like cannot and will not injure either. However, if somehow either are hurt and killed, the other also dies because neither function as an individual unit. They are but two halves to one whole. "

"That's intense."

"It is."

"But how does that explain how Lauren is able to get stronger from feeding off of me?"

"Bo, think. If a succubus and her Anam Cara are no longer individual working parts, but two halves to the same whole, what does that mean?"

I sat there for a few minutes to think about it – I guess everything was just so intense and so much so quickly that I couldn't process everything.

"It means that your powers start to seep into her and her powers start to seep into you. You each individually become stronger within your powers…you may even develop powers that were benign for a time, but essentially the Anam Cara becomes part succubus and the succubus becomes part of the Anam Cara's species – in your case, an Eired. I suspect that Lauren can so easily tap into your abilities and feeding patterns with you because she is a conduit – she already knows the feeling of opening herself up to things that may or may not seem natural for her. So she may not notice the shift. However, she can use your abilities to heal, to heal you - whatever you can do, she will be able to do in part. Now, it will not be as strong – she is not a succubus. She is an Eired with an intense binding to a succubus, but it is there nonetheless."

I sat there, processing everything – knowing that I needed to remember all of this to tell Lauren.

"Why do you think Lauren is my Anam Cara?"

"Simple – you found her. Your will and pull towards her was so strong. A succubus that isn't in love wouldn't have been able to find her, and wouldn't have risked so much to find her. And a succubus doesn't fall in love with just any person."

"But I would have done that for Dyson and I didn't feel for him nearly what I feel for Lauren."

"Bo, if it had been Dyson, you reasons for searching for him would have been different. Just as if it had been Kenzi."

I nodded, starting to understand how all the pieces fit together.

"In addition, you did not want to feed from anyone until you thought she was dead."

"So was this all some form of test for me?"

Isabeau shook her head. "No. It was never about testing you."

"Then why? I still don't get it! Why? Why would you try to take her away from me?"

"You don't have to understand, Ysabeau. I gave you my answer and while I understand that will never satisfy you, it is the answer you will continue to receive. I have no other reason. She is Dark. You are Light.."

"I'm unaligned. I am not Light."

"You were raised and brought up in the Light, my love. Regardless, the truth is, Lauren is Dark. And that goes against everything you were brought up to believe in and certainly everything this family stands for. But I will remain true to my word – I will not harm you or Lauren – exsilium or not. An Anam Cara is sacred. The bond is sacred… and is not to be trifled with."

"After everything you have done… after hurting Lauren, giving her up to men that you knew would abuse her… how can you just sit here and tell me all these wonderful things about a bond she and I may or may not share?"

"It's inevitable. I do not condone it and I do not prefer it. But there are no succubi for you to turn to. Someone needed to inform you of the situation you currently find yourself in. Ysabeau, I love you very much. You are my granddaughter and I am proud of you…"

"Save it. I don't want to hear it. The only reason I came here was because – as you said – I had questions and you had answers. This changes nothing," I spat.

"I didn't think it would, Ysabeau."

"You know something I don't understand?"

"What is that?"

"Is Trick your Anam Cara?"

The older woman nodded.

"It's weird … I understand why Lauren or I could be hurt by you…you said the bond's strength and that invulnerability increases steadily with time – reaching its high point after a year. So I'm assuming after everything you have said, Christmas would have been the beginning of our bond. I gave her a Claudagh ring…" I emphasized by holding my right hand up to show my grandmother. "so it was only a couple of days at that point that our bond had been forming. However, what I don't understand is how Lauren or I hurt you."

My grandmother's face contorted in confusion, her eyes no longer piercing mine, but searching deep within herself.

"Explain what you mean, Ysabeau."

"If Trick is really your Anam Cara, neither of us would be able to hurt you. But Lauren nearly killed you. I saw it. I was right there, watching it. How is that possible?"

It was that moment that my grandmother effectively ended the conversation, her eyes turning almost black, her face becoming ghostly. She ushered me out the door quickly – my question left unanswered. I had never seen Isabeau shaken like that before. The shift in her behavior seemed foreign, strange and unsettling.

As I traveled back across the Coronado Bridge, tears began streaming down my face. For a brief moment, I felt like everything was okay, like Isabeau hadn't betrayed me, and like we were just talking how we used to. But that wasn't the case. As we were talking, it dawned on me why Isabeau had pushed me towards others during the time Lauren was missing - she had probably noticed the beginning stages of the bond, and wanted to break it or halt it for as long as possible. It was also probably the same reason she did not want Lauren killed – if the bond had been there, if Lauren was my Anam Cara, then I would have died too.

It was so much to process and I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to tell Lauren – it was almost like she didn't have a choice in this, and I never wanted her to feel trapped or obligated to stay with me. She was my everything, but that was my choice. It would be a conversation to have, but for now, I would walk into her apartment, play along as she pretended to be asleep, and wrap my arms around her until we both eased into dreamland.

Hey ALL! Hope you enjoyed. Let me know.

REMEMBER you are ALL BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING and LOVED! Each of you has such value and NEVER let ANYONE make you feel less than what you are!

Rock your day, my lovelies!