In response to Sylvery's(guest reviewer) comment... "It'd be funny if you could make a story just for your author's notes content!"
A couple of friends have also been on at me to do just that. As in just a script form focusing on the rotg and star wars fandoms, but bringing in others here and there and making an entire fic out of the whole thing... Just wondering, would any of you guys read it?
Anyway, thanks so much for all the reviews and feedback and support Sylvery! Its really appreciated :D And if you ever get an account on here, let me know!
_
So, this is gonna be one of the longest yet, and will continuing directly on from the last, as you might have guessed-
Vader(having had enough of me blabbering on): You can be very patronising when you wish to be, you know.
Me: *glares*
Vader: *throws hands up in defeat and shuts up*
Me: Ahem, right… where was… Oh, yeah. Right… Anyway, I'm just gonna jump right in here. Oh, and a lot of the ideas in here are based of ideas given to me many eons ago by several of you guys… I honestly cannot remember who, so if you want to remind me, I will properly credit you in the next chappie! *blushes and grins sheepishly…* You know, I had the credit notes all ready and written, and I lose the documents… Really sorry guys-
Vader: *snorts*
Me: *doesn't even turn as I take out blaster and turn it to full power, burying him in cookie dough before turning and grinning at the sight*
I enjoy life sometimes… And I hope you enjoy this!
Jack met with a layer of ice when he opened a tunnel at the Pole, and Bunny and Tooth, who appeared behind him, backed up as he punched through it.
He leapt up through, coming face to face with North, and narrowing his eyes.
"Where is he?"
"I am not sure. But somehow he has frozen all of pole."
"Right. One sec…"
Jack grabbed an orb, and vanished, leaving the guardians to sigh. Bunny frowned.
"Can we give him free reign?"
North gaped.
"Is madness!"
"But it may be the only chance-"
"No… Not yet anyway…"
_
Jack appeared at Shady's place, and the shadow spirit sighed as he saw him.
"Fool's started. Hasn't he?"
"Yes. And he started with the Guardians. Most specifically, the Pole."
Shady's eyes widened, and he gulped.
"They haven't allowed you free reign… have they…?"
"Not yet… But they will. I need Iceman… Fool froze the Pole over and you know I'm not as good with ice as he is…"
"Hiding with Clover in the eastern meadows. All of the spirits have gone into hiding…"
"All but you?"
"I was hiding…"
"… Don't blame you. Cheers."
"You owe me…"
"Nothing new…"
He leapt through another portal, and appeared directly behind Iceman.
"Yo Icey. Fool froze the Pole. I need you to unfreeze it."
Iceman blinked at him.
"Does the term in hiding mean anything to you?"
Jack sighed, not wanting to have had to do this, but realising he had no choice but to bring out one of his most dangerous weapons. Turning to Clover, he gave her… The puppy dog eyes, then, to top it off, the small, sheepish and far too cute and adorable grin.
Hmm… He would have to use that on Tooth sometime… See what effect it would have…
"Please guys…?"
Clover held out for an entire three seconds- a very impressive achievement- before turning to Iceman.
"Help him… then we can hide somewhere else. For the next decade or so…"
Iceman sighed, and nodded.
"Fine… The things I do for you guys…"
Jack and Iceman leapt through, and the other guardians, Sandy having just managed to blast his way through the ice, nodded in greeting as they continued discussing how to locate Fool.
Iceman got started on the ice, leaving Jack to pace in mid-air... Before he ended up glaring at nothing and huffing in frustration.
The guardians all exchanged looks, and Iceman whistled softly as Jack morphed to pacing on the ground.
He never paced on the ground…
Iceman sighed to himself.
In the middle of a war between April Fool and Jack Frost… at three in the morning?
How did he get himself into these situations…?
It was nearly half four by the time he had melted most of the ice thin enough to break through-He had no idea how April Fool had done it, but he'd done it pretty damned well-and making it easy enough for Jack to finish the job.
He wished them all luck, and hopped through a portal, leaving the guardians to wonder just how they got dragged into things like this…
After a few more minutes, Jack finally stopped pacing, and turned to them.
"Okay. I'm going to give a brief Prankster 101. Sandy, Bunny, you will already know it as it was in the prank books I gave you, so you'll know why we need to start being very careful. This is April Fool's home territory, and we need to walk the fine line between beating him-which will have him onto us for the next century, and pulling level-which will leave our reputations intact. He will have laid traps, he will be playing pranks, and he will target all of us individually. His aim will likely be to irritate you so much, you allow me to go all out on his ass… Of course, that won't be good for anyone, so we will be leaving it as a last resort… We will have to focus on getting through the Pole, then the warren, then the Palace, though he will not have such ready access, so be wary of trouble only at the outskirts of both of those… Also, be wary of illusions, tripwires, cling film, overhead traps, mind washed yetis-What? He stole my notebook- anyway, yes. Keep an eye out, never let your guard down, and DO. NOT. INSULT. HIM. Any questions?"
"Yeah…" Bunny said, "Ya seriously think ya can draw April Fool to a stalemate on his home turf… before noon?"
Jack grinned.
"I've been prepared for this for years… true, it is not in the setting I imagined, but my newest fail safe procedures have been laid into effect. For now, we are not the frontline… We are the distraction."
"And how does one go about being a distraction?" North asked, and Jack grinned.
"By setting off every trap we can find…"
They all stared at him, then Bunny sighed.
"Well, it's just for a morning… How bad can it be?"
Jack faced palmed.
"You jinxed it? Rule number one… you never jinx it…" he said, more to himself than them, then lashed out with a roundhouse kick at the ice still blocking the doorway, shattering it.
"Right then… Shall we?"
_
At the end of the corridor, they met their first challenge.
Or rather, irritation.
Countless toys had been enchanted in some way, and started following them around, making the most irritating noises.
Trains whistled, cars tooted and instruments with legs chimed, jangled and rattled as they danced along behind, and planes whizzed, toy guitars thrummed and birds chirped as they flew around their heads.
Funnily enough, it was Tooth who cracked first.
"Damn it all to the moon and back make them shut up!"
They all stared at her, and Jack blinked. Wow… Tooth cursed… Wow… Just wow… Life changing revelation, that.
"Seriously, someone do something before I smash something!"
North started to try and placate her, clearly panicked for his precious toys, and Jack sifted through his various ideas until he found one that fit.
The others stared at him, bemused yet interested, as he started whistling, changing in pitch.
Eventually, he got to a middling pitch and the toys all silenced themselves as he carried through the note.
Jack hmm'ed, then grabbed a nearby flute, whistling into it and making it go limp in his hands.
Then he started playing that same note constantly, causing the toys to go sleepy, and he gestured for Sandy to blast them with dream sand.
The toys fell into a slumber, and Jack twirled the flute between his fingers/
"So predictable… I'm almost disappointed. And he said he didn't like the classics-"
"Oh… I don't."
They all froze, as a very familiar voice came over the speakers.
"Hello again Jack."
"Yo Ape. How's it going?"
"Very good… How does it feel to be on the other end of the speaker?"
Jack grinned.
"Makes a pleasant change."
"… Oh…"
Bunny rolled his eyes.
"Y'are such a dill sometimes Frostbite..."
Jack raised an eyebrow. Insults in true Auzzie style? Two could play at that game…
"Why am I the idiot, drongo!"
Bunny grinned as he realised what was running through Jack's mind. This would be interesting…
"Oh, well that's nice, ya bloody Fruit loop!"
"Really? You're calling me a fool? Can't think of anything better Boomer?"
"Yeah, I am, and yeah, I can. Ya're a total Galah, ya hoon!"
"Oh, coz you got a right ta be a bloody knocker!"
"Damned right!"
"Ya got no right ta be saying anything, Roo! Forget going Troppo, ya've gone bloody
Warreno!"
"Oh really? That was actually pretty smooth, coming from a Whacka, like you-"
"Oh, I'm the bloody Whacka! All you do is yabber on and on and man, it gets -"
"Oh, ya just can't let it drop, can ya, ya larrikin?!"
"... Well, I'll agree with that one. But it don't mean you ain't still a bloody-"
April Fool's voice rang out.
"Oi!" April Fool's voice, clearly strained-though from trying to stop laughing- or from trying not to scream in frustration, they weren't sure- rang out over the speakers. "Could the Plushie and the Slushie please just shut up!?"
Jack blinked, cocking his head.
"Plushie and Slushie? That ain't half bad, Ape... For a mongrel that is..."
"Oi," Bunny said, "That's taking things a bit far..."
"Oh, come on, he's probably grinning like a shot fox!"
"Hmm, I ain't heard that one in a while. That was pretty grouse for a bludger..."
"... Did ya really just call me lazy? How the moon am I a layabout?"
"... I was short on time."
"You're short a few kangaroo's in the top paddock, too, ya over grown furball-"
"Hey, that wasn't half bad-"
"Oh, for moon's sake!" Tooth cried, finally getting her breath back and regaining her composure after she had burst into an uncontrollable laughing fit, which North and Sandy still seemed to be in the grips of, "Can you both please stop? I can't breathe..."
"Yeah," April Fool agreed, "Please do… You're gonna need your breath…"
A sudden sound behind them had North and Jack groaning, as they recognised it, and they shared a look, Jack's quickly morphigh to one of 'we're doomed' incredulity.
"Please tell me you didn't North?"
"I'm afraid I did… finished designs and first prototypes last week…"
Jack sighed.
"Everyone take cover…" he said, almost lazily, and created a small ice shield. "See? This is why I like to be able to be prepared. Because when mini planes start to fly at you, armed with mini missiles, and are accompanied by-Damn it, not the slingshots! ... And they have cookies. Great. Nice touch, Ape. Guys? Seriously, take cover…"
The other guardians ducked behind the ice-or in North and Sandy' case, behind a golden shield- just as the planes started their attack.
Small missiles that exploded on impact, with quite a bit of force, were supported by tiny cookies flung by slingshots and round after round wore down their defences.
Jack called out over the tumult.
"Now, If I was allowed full reign, I have the perfect thing for occasions such as this. A huge, vat of my personally mixed bubble liquid and sticks which can encase anything with a rubbery bubble type casing. Works wonders, but no… "
North sighed as the others shot him looks, and shrugged.
"What? Is wrong to want Pole left standing?"
A few minutes and a couple more shields later and the planes were out of ammunition, as were the slingshots which had been taking cookies from a hovering bucket, and Jack gave the situation a quick appraisal before letting the shield drop.
"Well, I haven't seen that one before. It should become a classic-"
"I have to agree with you there." Fool said, over the speakers.
Bunny looked back to North.
"Now can Jack go all prankster on his ass?"
Jack grinned.
"I see what you did there. Switching gangsta for prankster? Very smooth… Though I have to say, I'm not too fond of those types of movies- Anyway, yeah North, Can I?"
"I do not yet see why-"
April Fool's voice came up again, but this time from the end of the corridor.
"You are telling me that even now, you will not let Jack Frost's Prankster side out to play? Guardians? What must one do to break North?"
Tooth rolled her eyes.
"Probably ruin his cookie recipe or-" She slapped a hand over her mouth just as Jack did, but it was too late.
Jack gave her a panicked look, then glanced back to see that Fool had vanished.
"Oh no…"
A few seconds later, Fool returned with a very familiar and official looking piece of paper.
"Hmm… Brownie… chocolate… milk…"
North blinked as Fool grabbed a match and lit it, holding it under the paper.
"Do not even think about-"
Too late. The paper went up in flames, and dropped into a pile of ash.
North took one look, then turned to Jack.
"Get him."
Jack gave him a salute, grabbed the orb thrown to him, and leapt through a portal.
April Fool looked confused, and turned to Bunny, who grinned evilly.
"Mate, you just made a big mistake…"
"… No matter. Now, how long will it take for him to find you at the warren, I wonder?"
Suddenly, they all found themselves in the warren, and Fool smirked.
"Good luck guardians…"
_
Several tense minutes later, and Bunny frowned as he heard rumbling, then blinked.
"Oh Moon… Climb! Get to higher ground!"
They didn't question it, and Sandy and Tooth floated into the air as North and Bunny leapt onto the top of the ridge on the rock face face.
Just in time to avoid the golums, which had been shoved on their sides and were now rolling about under Fool's direction.
Damn it, if they got caught under one of those things, it would not be pretty… Almost half an hour passed, before the golums started to ram into the rock face, making it shudder.
Just as the rock threatened to crumble, a sudden burst of ice froze the golum in place.
They all turned to stare, as Jack leapt through a portal, and Tooth gasped as the other's stared.
Jack was dressed in his all in one, with a blue zip up hoody on over the top, and the black leather jacket on over that, both unzipped to reveal an impressive array of weapons. Two belts of grenades were slung across his chest, and two thing holsters held fully stocked foldout blasters. He also had on some very kickass looking black boots, which had his knife starred inside as well as small disks of ice stuck to the side. He reached behind his back, and two clips automatically clasped around his staff, holding it in place in a holster, as Jack grabbed a few of the disks, snorting.
"Basic instinctual mind instruction? So last century…"
He threw one of the disks, which froze around the base of the golum, then threw two more, building up a block of ice which pushed the golum upright again, freezing its base.
He did the same with the other two in the clearing, having to leap around on the various blocks of ice to get a better shot, before finally landing on the ground again and grinning at Bunny.
"Told you Ice Shruikans were more effective… True, these are the latest edition, and experimental, but I'd say they work fine."
Tooth was still staring, and he raised an eyebrow.
"Tooth?"
"Where did you get the boots?"
"Why…?"
"I want some…"
"… Well, at least now I know what to get you for your birthday-"
He span as April Fool appeared again, and the spirit blinked at him.
"Ah, so this is what Jack Frost looks like when he means business."
"No… This is what Jack Frost looks like when he's not sure whether to bother meaning business."
"That was unnecessary."
"No, that was necessary."
"Well, we could debate that, but I'm running out of morning… So many pranks, so little time."
"Is still three hours till noon!" Tooth said, and Fool smirked.
"Like I said, so little time… So anyway, now that you've dealt with the big guys, how about the little guys?"
Bunny sighed as dozens of small fluffy rabbits appeared, and leapt down from the ledge.
"It's too soon after Easter for this…" he said, as they ran forward, and Jack sighed.
"Okay, this one I was not prepared for… Ah well, time to improvise. Bunny? Have any carrots nearby?"
"After the warning you gave me to be prepared for anything? I got a barrel of them back at the storeroom."
"Great… Split up, and meet there?
Bunny nodded. "North, Sandy, Tooth, you guys head round the cliffs, I'll tunnel the long way round, and Frostbite, you okay to take the forest?"
"No Problem."
The others nodded too, though Sandy stared signing to Jack. The winter spirit nodded.
"Sandy's with me then."
They all broke off, and Jack leapt into a tree as Sandy floated.
"Okay, I'm staying off the ground, so I'm going to jump between the trees. Reckon ya can keep up, old timer?" Jack grinned as Sandy raised an eyebrow, before making a winged motorbike with the sand.
"Point taken… Okay the… Go!"
Of course, Sandy could do nothing more than stare as he followed the leaping, spinning, cartwheeling guardian through the treetops, mouth hanging open the entire time.
They arrived at the store room just as Bunny did, and the Pooka began to split the carrot into five piles. Jack quickly grabbed an empty belt and stuffed carrots into the slots, before tying it around his waist, wrapping it around twice and making sure it was within easy reach.
Tooth and North appeared just as Bunny finished sorting, breathing deeply.
"Rabbit's… On our tail…"
"Pun intended?" Jack asked, and North raised an eyebrow.
"What pun?"
"… No matter. Arm yourselves and get ready to go…"
"We are not harming the rabbits, right?" Tooth asked, and Jack frowned.
"Of course not! Honestly, there is a line somewhere you know… Just get the carrots beneath the noses of the rabbits-no matter how you do it- and they will do the rest."
They all nodded, and waited. Of course, as they all waited, Sandy-unbeknownst to Jack- sent a quick daydream to the other guardians, showing them has Jack had leapt from tree to tree, and causing them all to stare at the youngest guardian, who blinked at the attention.
"What?"
Before he got an answer, the sound of hundreds of paws filled the air, and he rolled his eyes.
"No matter… Go!"
They all burst out, and Bunny immediately started chopping carrot, throwing it to Sandy, who rained the small pieces down on the first ranks of rabbits. He then made the others dozy as North and Tooth did a similar thing with whole carrots.
They all blinked as they realised that at least a quarter of the mass of fluff had gone after Jack, and blinked as they saw what he was doing. A variety of things actually…
One, he was chopping carrot with his knife, his expert fingers making quick work of them, before he used a slingshot to fire them down-with uncanny aim- in front of the rabbits, before leaping to a different tree to repeat the process. He also trapped pieces of carrot inside huge snowflakes, raining them down and making them melt on contact with the rabbit's skin or the ground, leaving the carrot to tumble down.
It took several minutes, but they eventually managed to get the rabbits so full of carrot, and so dozy from the various balls of dream sand that had exploded over them, that they shook off the control Fool had over them and fell asleep, leaving the field covered in small mounds of fur.
Jack landed in a crouch as he leapt down from the tree, and grinned.
"Well, that was fun."
"Glad you think so…" Fool said, suddenly materializing and looking grudgingly impressed. "But we still have one more place to visit…"
Tooth flitted anxiously.
"Oh no…"
Jack nudged her.
"It's okay, the fairies aren't there… I'll explain why later."
She gave a very relieved looking smile, then blinked, looking confused, but shrugged it off.
"Better get a move on then…" she said, managing to look unconcerned, and Bunny held his paw up for a second.
"Hold on…"
The Jack held up a hand.
"No, wait a sec Bunny..." He suddenly called to the wind, yelling 'Now!' and was rewarded by a sudden drop of snow on April Fool.
Bu it wasn't just any snow, oh no. This was snow infused with permanent blue dye, and as April Fool shook himself, pulling himself from the snowbank, he groaned.
"Hey! I liked this outfit! No, I loved this outfit!"
Jack grinned, shrugging.
"Hey there is no rule that says you are the only one allowed to prank this morning..."
Bunny gave him a high five, grinning.
"Very smooth... Ya done?"
"For now."
"Good."
The Pooka focused for a while, and suddenly, April Fool yelped and vanished.
Bunny grinned.
"Yeah. And stay out…"
"Blocked him from the warren?" Jack asked, and Bunny nodded.
"And I think we'd better do something similar with the palace and the Pole… They are too obvious a target…"
North nodded.
"Agreed… But best to deal with one problem at time, Da?"
Tooth nodded.
"Yeah. Like what on Moon has he done to my palace!?"
_
Tooth stood, mouth gaping, at the monstrosity in front of her.
Her entire palace-and by entire, that meant every tile and brick and square inch of it- was covered in bright pink bubble gum.
And from what she could sense, there was extra sugar…
"No… no… Not sugar… all of it… all of it sugar…"
Jack hurried to give her a hug, and called to Bunny over Tooth's shoulder.
"I need a list of things. And soon…"
"What are they?"
Jack reeled off a list, and the three other guardians blinked, before dashing out to get the… ingredients?
They were back within fifteen minutes and Tooth gasped as she realised what Jack was creating.
Different amounts of each various item was measured out- clearly he had done this before, from the practised precision he was showing- and mixed together, and Jack tested the gum's consistency.
"I'll have to be quick…" he muttered, loading the mixture he had created into a blaster-which had been on his list - and reached behind him, grabbing his staff from the holder on his back and flying into the air.
And ridiculous as it was, Pitch chose this moment to appear.
"Hello Frost."
"Oh, for Moon's sake. Do you not know what date it is? It's April the first. Do you really want to interfere in a battle between me and Fool? Are you really that stupid?"
"I-"
"Oh, I am so not in the mood for this. Just come back and get your ass beaten next week."
"You insolent-"
"Of for Moon's sake… Don't make me get Fool here as well. He won't be happy that you're interfering, and remember what he did last century? Remember what I did less than two years ago? One word for you Pitch… Floodlights."
Pitch Black simply stared at him, then at the guardians, who were looking completely taken aback by Jack's impatient outburst, then back at Jack, and simply scowled.
"I am in no mood for a verbal sparring match with you Frost. Or willing to face that Fool of a spirit."
"Then get the hell out of here and come back some other time. I have a tooth palace to de-gum, and very little time in which to do so. Go on, Shoo!"
Pitch simply glared at him, and vanished, leaving four very bemused guardians and one very busy guardian, who was armed with a blaster and an impatient mood.
Jack sprayed the mixture over the entire palace, section by section, Tooth and Sandy helping with their own blasters, which North and Bunny fetched from Jack's place, and slowly but surely, the gum fizzed and melted, dissolving under the mixture that Jack had perfected the previous year, in preparation of an event such as this.
Soon, all that was left was a pink, fizzing mush around the edge of the palace, and Jack called in a snowstorm-which had the extra benefit of cooling him down, what with the ridiculous heat in Asia at this time of year and all- and let the snow build up over the mush, watching it melt and wash it away.
In response to the questions of how on Moon Jack had managed to make a mixture like that, Jack simply shrugged.
"You might not have thought it, but there are a few lines I won't cross… Not being prepared to fix things like this is one of them. Doing things of this scale without good reason is another. Took me weeks of experimenting to make this stuff…"
"Well," Fool said, glaring as he appeared behind them, "It was time well spent. I spent ages coming up with a way to make a prank last for hours, and you go and fix it in just over one."
"Come on, you've got to admit, this crossed some kind of line… Tooth could have been in real trouble over the next few days if we didn't sort it."
"You forget Jack, I am the spirit of pranking. True, I have lines I won't cross, but they are much higher than yours."
"Oh, in some cases, I doubt that…" Jack muttered, just loud enough for the other guardians to hear, and they all looked at him, questioningly.
Jack simply grinned.
"Oh, look. Its eleven forty-five… Too late for you to set any more pranks Ape… Now me on the other hand…"
"Oh, maybe no pranks, but I have one more chance to irritate you... A Yo Mamma Jokes competition!"
Jack blinked. Then he blinked again.
"You cannot be serious-"
"Oh, but I am..."
"But... That's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard!"
"Ah yes, humans and their ridiculous ideas..."
Jack blinked again, then threw his hands up in surrender.
"What can ya do, eh?" Then he grinned. "Aside from go running and crying to Yo Mamma..."
Bunny sighed as Fool opened his mouth to respond, and said, in a tone laced with drama,
"And so it begins..."
_
Fool was quick to counteract the-rather smooth, he had to admit- start, and leant against a wall, knowing he was going to enjoy this.
"Now then, that's no way to talk. Seeing as Yo mamma so... Hmm, let's start with fat. Seeing as Yo mamma so fat, she goes for a swim in the ocean and the whales start singing we are family."
Jack snorted and shook his head, pitifully.
"Oh dear... So old school. But, to be fair, Yo Mamma so stupid, there was no hope for you... Then again, you didn't just fall from the stupid tree, you got dragged through dumb-ass forest."
Bunny muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'Ooh, Burn...' and Fool moved away from the wall, rolling his-still blue dyed-sleeves up. This was going to be a tricky one...
"Oh yeah, well at least my Mamma didn't get arrested for mooning by simply looking out a window..."
"Yeah? Well when it gets to the point where Yo Mamma gets measured at a doctors and has a doctor yelling at her that it's his phone number on the scales-"
"At least it fit on the scales-"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking about her shadow. When Yo Mamma step on the scales, it just says one-at-a-time please. Oh, and remember that time it said Lose-Some-Weight?"
"Well, at least My Mamma not so fat as to take up two time zones."
"Only because all she does is lay around the house. And when I say around the house? I mean around the house."
"At least she can fit in a house-"
"Yeah, well make sure Yo Mamma don't go walking down a street in a yellow coat? She'll get fed up of everyone yelling 'Hey Taxi!'"
"Yeah, well at least people don't jog around her for exercise..."
"Yo Mamma don't know the meaning of the word exercise! I mean, last time she ran the 50 yards dash, she needed an overnight bag! Hell, she can't even jump to a conclusion!"
Tooth giggled at that, well, even more so than the laughing fit she was currently at the mercy of, and Fool was quick to jump back in.
"Well, I have to admit. At least Yo Mamma can jump... Even if she is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she says New York... L.A... Chicago... Then again, last time she jumped into the air, she got stuck..."
"Hey, do me a favour? Tell yo mamma that that photo she ordered is gonna be a bit late? I took the photo of her last year, and I'm afraid it's still printing..."
Sandy snorted at that one, giving Jack an appreciative thumbs up, and barely managing to keep the camera, that he had had ready fr an occassion just like this, steady.
Fool took a deep breath, and calmed himself. He would not lose this... Especially not on Camera!
"Yeah? Well tell Yo Mamma that I still not happy I missed the entire first season of Downton Abbey... Ya know, when she walked in front of the TV that time?"
"Well, last time Yo mamma did that, there was an eclipse. Not only because she blocked out the Sun that week, but because light just bends around her..."
"Well at least My Mamma's cereal bowl didn't come with a lifeguard..."
"Well, if we're speaking of meals, Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, 'Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma.'"
"Well, speaking of restaurants, Yo mama is so fat that she doesn't eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift."
"Well that must be a common occurrence for Yo Momma, because every time she turns around, everyone throws her a welcome home party!"
"Well, at least my Mamma didn't have to get baptized at Sea world!"
Jack grinned. Great... Fool was reverting back to the older ones... He had him on the run. Now all he needed was a really good run-through...
"Oh, come on. Yo Mamma was sun-bathing on the beach, and not only was she zoned for commercial development, but Greenpeace showed up and tried to move her back into the ocean! At the same time as everyone else was running around yelling Free Willy and complaining that they weren't getting any sun. Anyway, when she finally managed to move and sit somewhere else, the warden called a tow-truck because he thought someone had parked in a pedestrian only zone."
Fool blinked at that, knowing he'd need a pretty damned good run for the next few to make up for that, and his mind literally raced to find more. Hmm, maybe a new approach was needed... And maybe a stretcher for North, because the huge guardian was rolling on the floor, in stitches and with tears running down his cheeks from watching the scene...
"Yeah? Well, not only is Yo Mamma fat, she's also old. Man, Yo Mamma so old, she has Moses in her yearbook!"
Jack blinked at the subject change, but quickly replaced the so fat jokes in his waiting list for so old jokes.
"Well, Yo Momma not only has an autographed Bible, but co-wrote the ten commandments!"
"Well, Yo mamma so old, her social security number is 1."
"Yo Mamma so old, she took her driving test on a dinosaur!"
"Well, at lest Jurassic Park didn't bring back memories, like it did for Yo Mamma."
"Yeah? Well, at least my Mamma's memories aren't in black and white!"
"Yeah? Well Yo Mamma so old she babysat Yoda!"
And April Fool, actually a fan of Star Wars, found he couldn't bring himself to rebut that.
Instead, he branched into yet another section.
"Well, you Mama so hairy, Big Foot wants to take her picture!"
Jack didn't know many of these, but he had a plan. So Fool didn't like rebutting Star Wars?
"Hey! Why Bring old Bigfoot into this?! Especially when Yo Mamma so hairy, she had no choice but to learn to speak Wookie! And seeing as people thought she was Chewbacca's cousin when she was lining up to go in to see the film... Speaking of which, Yo Mamma was so fat, she sat next to everyone else in the cinema..."
Fool blinked. Then mentally groaned, trying to find a direction this could take which would take him away from the Yo Mamma so fat jokes, and finding none... Unless...
"Yo Mamma so fat, she went to a beauticians, and it took 12 hours... To get a quote. Though that may be because Yo Mamma so ugly..."
Jack rolled his eyes... Okay, so that had been kinda smooth... Now to bring out the real competition...
"Yeah, well Yo Mamma so ugly, when I looked at her, I pinned a tail on her. Might also explain why you're such an ass."
"Well... Well Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back."
Jack shook his head. Fool was losing his train of thought... If he could just keep going a little more...
"Well, Yo Mamma so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents-did I mention that her Yo Grandmother's actually still in therapy because of how fat Yo Mamma was into the bargain? No?- well, anyway, yeah. And you have to feel sorry for her. I mean, she didn't just get hit by the ugly stick, she was crushed beneath the entire tree..."
"Well Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control."
"Ha, well when Yo Mamma looks in the mirror, not only does it bring her seven years bad luck, but it says viewer discretion is advised. And even then her reflection just shakes its head."
"Well, Yo Mamma so ugly... when you went to the zoo, they said thanks for bringing her back."
"Well, at least my Mamma couldn't take over for Pitch in creating nightmares. And at least North doesn't have to pay an elf to deliver her presents, like he does with Yo Mamma."
And that was it.
Sandy dropped the camera he was laughing so hard, that last line had North gasping for breath even as he was in he grips of one of the wort laughing fits he had ever had, Bunny was using the wall to help hold himself upright as he laughed and Tooth was in a huddle on the floor, in a fit just as bad as North's.
Fool simply looked at all of them, the to Jack who was clearly prepared to go on, and held his hands up.
"You win."
Unfortunately, the camera caught the surrender just before Sandy turned it off, and Jack laughed.
"Mate, we should do that every year... Oh, and look... Only ten minutes to twelve..."
It took nine of those minutes and a lot of Jack's help, for the guardians to recover enough to stand, and it was only the promise that they would really want to see this that finally got Tooth and North upright.
Fool looked very suspicious, and Jack sighed as he opened a portal.
"Now, this is why we needed to be a distraction, guys."
Before April Fool could react, Jack had shoved him through the portal, and the other guardians were quick to follow them, gasping at the sight that met them.
_
"Happy April Fools…" Jack said, grinning and leaning against the wall in Fool's prank shop, where they had all appeared.
Fool was gaping. Heck, they were all gaping, and Baby Tooth-having been in charge of this whilst the guardians distracted Fool, gave Jack a high five… or rather, she high fived his finger.
"Nice Job Tinkerbell… Lovely touch with the glitter."
Every prank and toy in the store was alive, clearly from a similar kind of magic as Fool had used, and the walls were covered in pink glitter, stuck on with the strongest glue Jack had been able to find.
Confetti sprinklers had been attached to the ceiling-which Jack had done quickly before he had got changed earlier that day- and were lazily spewing confetti over the entire room, which was a chaotic mess of whistling toys, glue, what appeared to be explosions of cookie dough, piles of confetti and glitter and basically everything the fairies had been able to do from Jack's list.
Jack grinned, opening a new portal a couple of minutes later, for them all to leave through, and turned to Fool just before he followed them, ignoring the glare.
"Something you should know about me. When it comes to someone I care about? There is no line I won't cross. How about a decade off, then it's you versus me. No bringing the others into this and nothing ridiculously across the line. Aside from that, everything goes..."
"Oh, I'm looking forward to it Frost. Let's make it a tradition, shall we?"
"It will terrify the spirit population…"
"Isn't that the whole point?"
"You're not the nicest guy sometimes, ya know that?"
"And you are?"
"… Good point. Have fun clearing up!"
Jack grinned, leaping through the portal and letting it close, before getting roped into a mass of hugs and cheers and whoops, as he realised that not only were the guardians there, but also Clover, Iceman, Shady and several others who had wanted to see the outcome of the morning.
A couple of hours later, he had changed out of his outfit into his usual clothes, and sighed as he slumped onto the sofa in the study, letting Baby Tooth nestle into his hair.
The guardians were all looking at him oddly, and he realised what they were asking.
"Yes… We've arranged a rematch. Ten years to this day… Have to have a decent amount of plan and prep time after all. Me versus him only, and no holding back… Though we're going to have to set some ground rules…"
North sighed.
"I shall get started on new bunker da?"
Jack grinned, not sure whether to be dreading or looking forward to it, and nodded.
"Might be a good plan…"
_
April Fool was still busy trying to sort the mess out, but found himself grinning as he did so.
To be perfectly honest, to have someone like Frost as an opponent was exceedingly refreshing. Hmm… He would have to meet up soon and discuss the finer details. After all, they couldn't have the world falling into ruin, could they?
Now… where were those plans for the prank war-machine…?
Sorry for any offense given in the Yo Momma jokes section, for example with the religiousy kind of bits. None was intended, and I apologise for any that was taken...
Hulk (Having just appeared from the various combined efforts of those readers that wanted him here): Much amusement from the puny creatures… Though angsty it may be at times...
Me: OI! Be nice...
Pitch Black: Yeah! Be ni-
Me: Don't mimic me.
Pitch: Why? What're you gonna do about-
Me: Hey, Hulk? Wanna smash?
Hulk: Hulk always wanna smash!
Me: *points to Pitch* Then smash away.
Hulk: *looks at Pitch, then simply steps on him* Squash like puny insect… Hulk do good?
Me: (to you guys) What do you think? Hulk do good? Review and let me know! And if you could let me know what you thought of the chapter too, and your thoughts on me doing some random fic based solely on these footnotes, I'd appreciate it too, Lol :D
Vader: Lol? What is this Lol you speak of?
Me: It stands for laugh out loud.
Master Shifu: Laughter? I've never heard of it… (Please tell me somebody gets this reference?)
Vader: Me neither… What is this laughter?
Me: *sighs* It's gonna be a long day… Oh, wait! I'm the author! I can fix this! *grabs phone and dials a number* Hey Jack, Need a favour… There are two people here who have never heard of laughter, and as the guardian of fun and all-
Jack: *having just leapt through a portal and snapped the phone shut* Where are they?
Me: The little furry red panda and the huge hulking mass of leather.
Vader: Oi!
Shifu: Oi!
Jack! Oi to the both of you, now come with me!
Me: *as Jack leaves* Better follow… Else he might bring out the *gulps dramatically* blasters… *Then grins* Oh, I could teach him to use a light saber!
(and it seems my journey along the path of insanity is nearly complete… Teaching Jack to use a light saber? Moon help us all…)
Till next time then guys! Oh, and If I ever write about Fool again, it will be in a sequel fic, If I do one. And I'm sorry this wasn't as funny as the last(I was tempted to put more Yo Mamma jokes in, but it was getting out of hand as it was) and that there were less pranks by Jack, but it just didn't seem to want to be written that way… Hope you enjoyed anyway…?